Some small insights

The following are some key insights I have had recently. None are too big, but each is useful.

1. Sometimes people are reluctant to change course because to do so would be to admit that they made a mistake in the past. So instead of admitting that, they continue along the same mistaken course. To help these people, help them feel that the decision they made in the past was right for then, but now things are different so it is only normal to make a new choice.

2. Before people will listen to your solutions, you first have to demonstrate to them that you ‘get it’, that you understand exactly their problems. If they feel you don’t get it, then they will automatically assume that the solutions you propose will not solve their problem (which they feel you don’t understand). But when you show and demonstrate to them that you do indeed get it, that you do understand their problems, then when they hear your solution they are much more inclined to listen to and believe your solution.

3. I have been very anxious to hear about the results of certain things in my life. It has become a preoccupation. This is a mistake. I need to just hand my life over again and again to Dorje Shugden and request him to arrange things when the time is right. Until then, I need to accept that he is keeping things as they are for a reason. My job is to then discover that reason by learning what can be learned from the experiences I am having.

4. It is counter productive to ask somebody to do something if they are not going to do it. When you do this, and they resist/rebel/say no, they develop the habit of rebuffing you. This puts your in a situation where either you back down and lose all credibility or you have to up the ante and force the situation. If you do the latter, then you keep your credibility, but you often generate resentment. If you are right in your request, and at their core the other person knows you are right, they do not generate resentment when you force it, but rather they generate respect for you that you have conviction, wisdom and strength. But if you are not right, then they will generate resentment. So better to only ask people to do things when you are right and you are prepared to force it if necessary. Otherwise, leave people free to make their own choices.

5. The practice of the Yoga of Buddha Heruka is the synthesis of VGL’s new book Modern Buddhism, which itself is the synthesis of the Ganden Oral Lineage, which itself is the synthesis of the entire Kadampa path, which itself is the synethesis of all of Buddha’s teachings. So by practicing this sadhana you are directly practicing all of Buddha’s teachings and fulfilling all of your Kadampa commitments. It is truly amazing. I feel as if it is VGL’s greatest gift to the modern world. It is short, yet complete. I feel like I could take this as my daily practice for the rest of my life and lack nothing. I can incorporate everything into it, just in different places. The explanation in the new book is like the ‘best of’ VGL’s teachings, his best, most practical, most skilful explanations. Just as Eight Steps was his gift to me for parenting, this new book is his gift to me for this new period in my life of becoming a diplomat.

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