Do not wish for gratitude. 

When we help someone, we should not expect anything in return.  If we do, we turn the kindness into a sham.  We should direct all our efforts exclusively for the benefit of others, ideally with a bodhichitta motivation.

The difference between a kindness and a contract is whether we expect anything in return.  Since our primary goal is to create good karma for the future, we actually don’t want anything in return because we know we will then have burned up a portion of the good karma we worked so hard to create.  We do not have to formally ask for something in return for us to implicitly be requesting it.  I personally think the best form of kindness is the anonymous kind, because then we know we are not doing so for the sake of getting something in return. 

It is very rare for anybody to be kind to others without expecting something in return.  And when this something doesn’t come, we then find others to be very ungrateful and we begin to regret our acts of kindness.  We feel justified in at least wanting a thank you from others, and we are quick to condemn others when it doesn’t come.  Where do all these ungrateful people come from?  Our own past ungratefulness.

It is especially hard to not wish for gratitude when we have really gone out of our way to help somebody, and they nonetheless criticize us and even sometimes get mad at us for not helping them out correctly.  Gen-la Losang tells the story about how he was at Manjushri center and he was not on kitchen clean up duty.  It was at night, and he went down to the kitchen to get an apple and he saw that the kitchen still hadn’t been cleaned up since dinner.  So being the kind bodhisattva, he then proceeded to clean everything up.  Just as he was finishing, the person who was supposed to clean up the kitchen came down, and frustratedly said to Losang, “you missed a spot!”  That is when, Losang said, he knew he still had some work to do on giving selflessly. 

This sort of experience happens to us all the time.  We may help some people a tremendous amount, such as our children or our partner, and despite all that they still get mad at us.  When we are working hard and we need some help, they don’t lift a finger to help us.  They may be generally upset or going through a difficult time, and they project onto us that it is our responsibility to make them feel better, and when we fail to do so, they get mad at us.  Why are people so unreasonable with us?  Because this is how we have been with others in the past.  It is very easy for us to become frustrated at these people and resentful about how despite all that we do for them they still get mad at us.  But if our objective is to accumulate good karma for the future, we realize it is better this way.  We are learning how to give unconditionally.  We are not using up our virtuous karma on them expressing gratitude to us now.

Even though we should not expect gratitude, we should nonetheless always make a point of being grateful for what others have done for us.

When we are growing up, it seems entirely normal to us for our parents to do everything for us, and when they don’t, we feel let down and betrayed.  But the reality is nobody owes us anything.  The fact that anybody does anything for us should be welcomed as an act of extreme kindness.  But as we grow older and become parents ourselves, we realize it is not our parents that owe us anything, it is we who owe our parents for all that they have done for us.  Of course, everybody’s circumstance is different, but we should make a point of doing everything we can to look after our parents when they become older.  They were there for us when we needed it most, it is only normal that we are there for them when they need it most.

We should likewise make a special point of being grateful to all those who have taught us in some way.  The reality is we don’t know how to do anything on our own.  Everything we are able to do comes from the kindness of somebody else teaching us.  Even the things we have learned on our own ultimately come from the kindness of others because somebody taught us the skills we relied upon to be able to learn the thing on our own, for example even something as rudimentary as knowing how to read what is written.

Usually due to our inappropriate attention on what the person is not doing, we are unable to develop gratitude for what they have done.  Our resentment about the other person not living up to our expectations of what they should have done for us prevents us from developing gratitude for what they have done.  What good does this do anybody?  Our lack of gratitude for what they have done doesn’t exactly encourage the other person to do more for us, and even if it did, we would, in effect, be emotionally blackmailing the other person into giving us more.  We don’t want that karma on our mind.  Such an ungrateful attitude poisons our relationship with the other person, and frankly transforms us into an ungrateful jerk.  In contrast, being grateful is always well received.  When we are grateful for what others have done for us, they naturally want to do more for us. 

Do not be unstable. 

Normally when we experience good fortune, we become overly excited and dance around in an absurd manner, and when we experience bad fortune we become completely depressed very quickly.  This precept advises us not to behave like that.

The fundamental reason why we are unstable is because we still believe there is such a thing as “an externally good” thing and “an externally bad” thing.  In reality, nothing is good or bad from its own side, rather they become so in dependence upon the mind with which we engage them.  When we engage things with our mind preoccupied by the eight worldly concerns, then of course some external things are seen to be ‘good’ and others are seen to be ‘bad.’  But we don’t have to view things in this way, in fact it is advisable that we don’t.  Why?  Because if we have such an outlook, we can’t be happy all the time.  We will go up; we will go down.  If instead we view all situations through the optic of the opportunity they afford us to develop our inner qualities, such as love, compassion, patience, wisdom, etc., then there is no such thing as a “bad” situation.  Every situation is equally good, just in different ways.  This is true freedom, the ability to go anywhere with anybody doing anything, and it is all equally good. 

The foundation of mental stability is the mind of contentment.  Normally, we always feel like we are lacking something or that we need something in particular.  This mind makes us unhappy all the time, even when we have pretty much everything.  We may long for a particular job, finally get it, and once we have it, we see the next horizon and can’t be happy with what we have.  We are always looking for a better home, a better job, a better partner, a better smart phone, whatever.  This mind of perpetual discontent is particularly destructive to our spiritual training.  No matter how many instructions we may receive, we never feel like we have what we need.  We always feel like we are lacking something, so we are always searching but never finding.  With such an outlook, we never get down to serious practice.

The mind of contentment is actually very easy to develop:  simply choose to be happy about what you do have, not unhappy about what you don’t have.  Everything can always be better than it is, and everything can also be much, much worse.  So if we have a mind of discontent, we will always be unhappy no matter what we have.  There will always be a basis for thinking how things could be better.  In contrast, if we can learn how to be happy with what we have, and this becomes our new mental habit, then we can be happy in every situation.  Every situation from its own side is equally neutral, it is our attitude towards it that determines whether we are satisfied or not.

One of the most liberating mental states a living being can experience is the mind that feels it lacks nothing.  If practitioners of old could be content with a cave, why can we not be content with our modern apartments?  No matter how much or how little we have, if we experience these things with the mind of contentment, we will always enjoy everything.  It is particularly empowering to realize in our spiritual life that we lack nothing.  When we feel we lack something we need to attain enlightenment, we don’t fully engage with our practice, and we spend our time trying to plug the perceived gap.  But when we realize we lack nothing and indeed have everything we need, then the only thing that remains to do is start practicing.  When you think about it, it is nothing short of a miracle that we have created the karma to literally lack nothing we need to attain enlightenment.  All the conditions have been gathered together, and if we push through, our enlightenment is guaranteed.  Our appreciation for the infinite kindness of our spiritual guide for providing us all these conditions literally pushes us to tears.  Our effort becomes effortless.

To not be unstable also explains how we can be of real benefit to people.  Virtually everyone around us is riding the wild waves of samsara, being buffeted up and down by their changing circumstances.  As a result, nobody has any reliable poles of support that they can hang on to to provide some stability in their life.  A Kadampa finds their stability within their own mind.  Because they know how to keep their mind stable, they are able to remain stable and calm in all circumstances.  When everyone else is freaking out, they remain unflappable.  Such a person is a real resource in any community, especially when times become particular chaotic or troublesome.  We become an immutable vajra in the world, unmoved, unchanged, undisturbed no matter what happens.  People know that if they remain close to us, then they can benefit from the stability of our mind.  This stability acts like the calm in the eye of a hurricane, a safe anchorage undisturbed by the waves.  This is in many ways the greatest gift we can provide others.

Do not get angry. 

If someone behaves in an unpleasant manner towards us, we should not respond with anger. Cultivating this attitude is one of the best ways of gaining peace for ourself and others.  If everyone practiced training the mind, everyone would love everyone, and so there would be no basis for war or conflict.  If there is to be real universal peace, Dharma must flourish throughout the whole world.

There is no more destructive delusion than anger.  Anger destroys all our relationships, it burns up all our merit, and it throws us into the deepest of hells.  Anger destroys our peace of mind, so even if we get what we want, we still can’t enjoy it or be happy.  Anger causes us to lose respect for us, so even when we have something useful to contribute, they reject what we have to say out of hand.  Our anger engenders rebellion against whatever we ask.  People naturally resist somebody who is angry, and this can become the habit of our relationship with somebody.  Even when we are not angry at the other person, because we have done so in the past, they resist what we have to say even when we are requesting something entirely reasonable.  Anger causes others to fear us and want to flee us.  Angry people often find themselves abandoned by all those that they know and love.  When our anger doesn’t work to get what we want, we feel like we have no choice but to escalate our anger until we do, and suddenly we find ourselves to be an abusive person.  In the short-run, we may win compliance because the other person has no choice, but the first opportunity they have they will either run away or try get us back.  This leaves us trapped in a dynamic where we must continue to inflict harm on and invoke fear in the other person, otherwise they will attack us back.  We spend our time disgusted with all those around us, hurling insults at those we see on television, brewing inside.  We sometimes lose control completely and find ourselves acting like a raging lunatic.  We are unable to form stable and close relationships with others, because as soon as they see our darker side, they want to have nothing to do with us.  Anger is the root of all war and conflict in this world.  How many people have been injured or killed by anger?  How many children have been emotionally shattered by their parent’s uncontrolled rage?  No good has ever come from anger, and no good ever will.  Its only function is to harm.

We should recall that the main point of training the mind is great compassion, and that anger is the opponent of compassion.  Anger is a mind which mistakenly identifies something external as a cause of suffering, and then seeks to harm or destroy that.  Love and compassion are the opposite of anger.  Love wishes that the other person be happy, compassion wishes that the other person be free from all harm and suffering.  Wishing to harm and wishing to free others from harm are exact opposites.  Anger is rooted in two principal mistakes.  The first, is it thinks the external thing is an actual cause of suffering, when in reality our experience of any object depends only upon the mind with which we experience it.  The second is it thinks the other person is “not us,” they are somehow separate from us, when in reality we are all equally waves on the same ocean.  When the false duality between ourselves and others falls away, it becomes just as impossible to harm another person as it would be to harm ourselves. 

We usually get angry at those who we see as harming us in some way.  We feel that if we get angry at them, we will deter them from harming us again.  If we succeed in deterring them, they will still wish to harm us but be unable to, so their resentment will only grow and they will bide their time until they can.  If we don’t succeed in deterring them, then we invite immediate retribution as they strike back at us.  Sometimes we encounter people who themselves are angry people and for whatever reason do what to harm us.  When this happens, we should ask ourselves, “why is this person angry at me?”  Quite likely we have done something to cause them to get angry, so we should try to make immediate amends.  If we are unsuccessful, then we should view this other person as a karmic echo of our own past anger towards others and take it as a powerful reminder that if we don’t want people harming us in the future, we need to stop getting angry at others now.  Finally, we need to realize that the person who is behaving unpleasantly towards us has no control over their actions but are a slave to their delusions and anger.  When our anger is active in our mind, we have no control over our behavior.  Others are the same.  Delusions function to render our mind uncontrolled, we become a puppet on the strings of our delusions.  Very often we will say or do things while we are angry that we later regret when we calm down.  Others are no different.  When somebody gets angry at us, we should realize it is not them talking, it is their delusions.

If we want to get angry at something, we should direct our anger against our own and others’ delusions.  They are the real enemy; they are the real cause of all harm.  We should blame the person’s delusions, not the person themselves.  Indeed, we can view the other person as the victim of their delusions, and in the future, they will have to suffer the karmic consequences of their actions.  We should adopt the view of Buddhas, who love everyone and have compassion for them seeing that they are trapped and tormented by their delusions.

Do not be boastful.  

Our purpose in training the mind is to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all, therefore it is quite inappropriate to become conceited and boast to everyone what we are doing.

Those who suffer from pride, such as myself, often become very attached to what other people think of them.  Our sense of self-confidence and self-worth is based on an inflated perception of how great we are.  When others don’t share the same “exalted view” of us, then it threatens our self-narrative, and so we quickly become defensive.  Ultimately, of course, arrogance and pride are a reflection of deeper-seated insecurity.  Since we don’t want to confront that, we try get everyone else to likewise think we are so wonderful.

When we apply for jobs, we exaggerate our past accomplishments.  When we tell stories of particularly difficult situations we have dealt with, we almost always make it out worse than it really was.  We lie about our grades in school to our friends, we overstate the success we have enjoyed in our extra-curricular activities.  Especially among our Dharma friends, we put on a show of how we are free from delusions and are such a great Dharma practitioner.  

If we check, the implicit conclusion of much of what we say when we are with others is how we are better than those we are talking about.  Many, many, conversations among work colleagues revolve around telling stories about how stupid our co-workers, clients, or bosses are.  Every time we point out the faults of somebody else, what we are implicitly trying to say is that we are better than the person we are criticizing.  There is a very perverse logic in the world that thinks, “if I can criticize something good that everybody else likes, then it means I am even better.”  Rich people are praised for their “discriminating taste,” which essentially means they can’t be happy with anything but the very best of everything.  Why would we want to be like that, when the actual meaning of this is we are unhappy most of the time because rarely do we get the best of anything.  We see this dynamic all throughout our society:  criticizing famous people, disliking popular movies, judging those who eat fast food when who amongst us does not occasionally like a good burger!  Pride is so ridiculous, it can take any small personality characteristic we might possesses, and then use that as a basis for thinking we are better than everyone else.

Very often prideful and boastful people are not satisfied with knowing themselves that they are the best at everything they do, but they do not rest until everyone else agrees they are the best.  When somebody doesn’t agree, our mind is suddenly filled with an exhaustive list of all the faults of this insolent person!

Besides being absurd, what are some of the problems with such an attitude?  First, as a general rule, the more boastful we are with others, the more they dislike us and want to knock us down a peg or two.  Second, as a general rule, truly great people don’t talk about how great they are, they simply quietly do their thing.  Third, it feeds our dependency on what other people think of us, thus making us feel increasingly insecure.  Fourth, we close the door on ourselves of being able to ask for help from others, including our Dharma teachers.  I remember I used to be very attached to whether or not my Dharma teachers thought I was a great practitioner, so I actually didn’t want to go talk to them about what problems and delusions I was having because to do so might threaten their vision of me.  This makes our going for refuge impossible because we can’t admit we need help.  Fifth, pride in our contaminated aggregates makes renunciation, bodhichitta and our Tantric practice impossible.  It is only by coming to terms with the hopeless nature of our samsaric condition that we can make the decision to leave, become a Buddha and train in identifying with the pure aggregates of the deity.  Sixth, and worst of all, it makes it impossible for us to learn from anybody.  If we think we are better than others, we feel we have nothing to learn from them.  If we aren’t learning, how can we possibly progress along the path?

The second main meaning of the precept to be released by two, investigation and analysis, is it advises that for every Dharma realization we first attain a general understanding through investigation and study, and then gain a more subtle understanding through contemplation and meditation.  Dharma realizations within our mind can be understood to develop along two axis, horizontally and vertically.  Horizontally means we come to gain an understanding of all the different objects of Dharma.  It is not enough to know one or two (though that is good too), but we need to understand the entire path and how everything fits together.  The main objects of the path are the 21 lamrim meditations, the 6 perfections, and generation stage and completion stage of secret mantra.  Within each of these, especially emptiness and the Tantric teachings, there are many different crucial parts, all which we must understand correctly. 

The way we do this is primarily though reading Dharma books and receiving Dharma teachings.  We are fortunate that Geshe-la has condensed and consolidated thousands of years of spiritual tradition and countless root texts and commentaries down to a little more than 20 books.  This simplifies our task considerably.  If we had to read all the books, root texts, and commentaries that have ever been written in the history of our tradition, we would never finish.  Fortunately, Geshe-la has done this work for us, so we can rely upon his commentaries as a complete set of teachings lacking nothing.  This does not mean we are not allowed to go read other Dharma teachings, we are of course free to do as we wish.  But for those who don’t have the time to read these other things or for those who would rather focus on gaining experience of the Dharma they have already learned, we can have great confidence that the canon of Geshe-la’s teachings lack nothing we do need, and they contain nothing we don’t need.

To enable us to better understand the written teachings we have received, Geshe-la has established thousands of Dharma centers and meditation groups around the world.  At these Dharma centers, we can receive teachings about the meaning of the books and we can discuss our experiences with those who are likewise trying to put these precious instructions into practice.  We can also attend national and international Dharma festivals where we can receive direct teachings from some of the most experienced Kadampa practitioners in the world.  These teachings all help us develop a clearer and more complete picture of the entire Kadampa path.  Reading Dharma books and listening to teachings are the ways in which we expand our horizontal understanding of the Dharma.  These two are how we “investigate” the Dharma.

Each Dharma instruction also has a vertical dimension to it.  The vertical dimension refers to gaining deeper and deeper personal experience of the given instruction, and how that instruction informs and reinforces all the others.  There are two main methods by which we do this:  contemplation and meditation.  Collectively, within the context of this precept, these two are known as “analysis.” 

Contemplation means we test and examine the meaning of what we have learned.  We check and see whether or not it makes sense and conforms with our own experience.  We explore the various paradoxes or contradictions that might appear, attempting to resolve them so that everything makes sense.  We move beyond understanding each instruction in a vacuum, and instead start to see how all the instructions interrelate with one another, mutually reinforcing and informing each other.  The Lamrim, for example, ceases to be 21 separate meditations, and instead becomes one practice with 21 parts.  The differences between Sutra and Tantra fall away, the gap between the vast and the profound paths disappear.  Our direct practice of any one meditation begins to indirectly strengthen our experience and understanding of all the others.  What previously seemed like countless parts, and sub-parts, and divisions and sub-divisions becomes increasingly simplified to the point where we see how by practicing a few key things directly, we are indirectly practicing everything.  Contemplation functions to resolve all our doubts about our practice, enabling us to wholeheartedly commit to our training.  One of the most important benefits of contemplation is the apparent duality between our daily life and our Dharma practice begins to fade away until there is no separation whatsoever between the two. 

Meditation is when we allow our mind to settle and hold with an understanding or realization we have gain.  Through our investigation and contemplation of the Dharma, clear understandings will occasionally arise within our mind.  Venerable Tharchin calls these “ah ha” moments.  Suddenly the light turns on, the penny drops, the stars align, things become clear.  When this happens, we should stop our contemplation and allow our mind to “soak in” this new understanding.  We try to “maintain the continuum of not forgetting” what we have just understood.  We try pay attention to this particular understanding within our mind and prevent it from wandering somewhere else.  Sometimes people misunderstand the term “hold our object of meditation” as if we need to hold on tight to something.  In fact, it is the opposite.  The tighter we try hold our objects, the more swiftly they slip away, like a bar of wet soap we try to squeeze.  Instead, hold means hold up gently within our mind.  It is like creating a little cup with our hand within which the wet bar of soap rests gently.  It is more like allowing a candle flame to remain undisturbed within our mind, and we keep the flame alive by “paying attention to trying to remember” it.  This is “placement meditation,” or simply meditation.

There are many many different levels of what is called “meditative equipoise.”  I tend to think of it as meditative balance.  The object is there, it is present within our mind.  We just need to not lose it.  If we can keep our mind calm, still, and above all balanced, the object will simply remain undisturbed.  In fact, the more balanced our mind is, the more intensely the light of the realization will shine into the corners of our mind.  At first we can keep the object present and illuminated within our mind for a few moments, then for a minute, then for five minutes, then for our entire meditation session and finally for the rest of our life. 

There are two aspects to proper meditation.  These are like the two axes upon which the surface of our mind can tilt.  If the mind loses balance, the marble of the meditation object will quickly roll off.  The two aspects are:  not forgetting the object, and not allowing its vibrancy to fade.  In technical terms, forgetting the object is called “mental excitement” and losing the vibrancy of the object is called “mental sinking.” 

Mental excitement basically means our mind wanders off to some other object, usually some object of attachment.  This happens because we think it is more interesting, more enjoyable, or more beneficial to think about this other object.  To prevent mental excitement, we need to train in what is technically called “mindfulness.”  Mindfulness is just a fancy way of saying, “not forgetting.”  For example, we are told that if we want to remember somebody’s name when we meet them, then after they introduce themselves to us we should make a point of “trying to remember” their name.  We try remember their name continuously without forgetting it for as long as we can.  If we do this, then we remember.  If we don’t do this, we will forget the person’s name almost as soon as they tell it to us. 

If we find that our mind has already wandered off to some other object, when we become aware of the fact that we have lost our object of meditation we should ask ourselves, “what is more beneficial, thinking about this object of attachment or remembering my object of meditation.”  We then recall the benefits of the given object of meditation, and this inspires us to refind it.  We then go through the contemplation again until once again the candle lights and an understanding of the object reemerges within our mind. 

We oppose losing the vibrancy of our objects of meditation through the mental factor called “alertness.”  Alertness is just a fancy way of saying “paying full attention.”  When we are driving and not sure where we are, we “pay full attention” to our surroundings to try figure out where we are.  If we are in some danger, we “pay full attention” to the situation to be on the lookout for things that could potentially harm us.  When we are sick with some disease and our doctor is explaining to us what we need to do to get better, we “pay full attention” to what she is saying.  In the same way, when a Dharma understanding dawns within our mind, we should “pay full attention” to it.  The more we pay attention to it, the brighter it becomes in our mind.  But it is important to note that “paying full attention” to something does not mean “straining.”  These two are, in fact, opposites.  Sometimes you will see people meditating with their brow fully crunched together as they strain to stay focused.  Concentrating on our object of meditation is not like holding back the onslaught of distractions through brute force, rather it is more allowing our mind to “rest within the object.”  It is light, relaxed, at peace.  It is open, spacious, confident, undisturbed.  If there is no wind blowing, even the lightest feather will remain at rest.  It is the same with our objects of meditation.

In summary, Venerable Tharchin explains the three levels at which we mix our mind with the Dharma in the following way.  He says listening to or reading the Dharma (investigation) is gaining an intellectual understanding of somebody else’s point of view or wisdom.  We understand what the teachings say.  Contemplation functions to transform what was an intellectual understanding of somebody else’s point of view into our own point of view or wisdom.  Not only do we understand how the Dharma sees things, we fully agree with it ourself.  Meditation functions to transform this point of view into “an acquisition of our personality.”  For example, we can listen to Dharma teachings to gain an understanding of what compassion means to Buddhists.  Then, through our contemplation, we develop compassion within our own mind, we cause authentic compassion to arise within our own mind.  Through meditation on this compassion, we ourselves become a “compassionate person.”  Venerable Tharchin said, “we become whatever we mix our mind with.”  If we mix our mind with violence, we will become a violent person.  If we mix our mind with love, we will become a loving person.  Some people mistakenly think Buddhism is just a philosophy.  Buddhism is actually a method for radical and complete transformation of who we are, not just transforming ourself from an angry into a patient person, but transforming ourself from a suffering sentient being into a fully enlightened Buddha.     

This precept, be released by two, investigation and analysis, explains the actual method by which we practice the Dharma.  It is the “how,” and the rest of the teachings are the “what.”

Be released by two:  investigation and analysis. 

This precept has two main meanings.  The first meaning is we should be aware of all our actions of body, speech, and mind.  With this mindfulness we can gradually overcome all our faults. 

From a practical point of view, pride is actually the most harmful of all the delusions.  Why?  Because pride functions to blind us to our own faults.  If we are unaware of our faults, then there is no way we can overcome them.  Our pride does not prevent others from being able to catalog clearly all our faults, but with pride even when others point out to us our shortcomings, we fail to see them and we instead see all the faults of the person “attacking and criticizing us.”  When we suffer from pride, when we do become aware of our faults or limitations, we quickly become despondent, deflated, and discouraged.  We swing from misplaced overconfidence to a wish to give up trying.  We somehow think we should be naturally endowed with perfect abilities, and we think we should enjoy great success without putting in the necessary preparatory work.  We would rather not try at all than give something our all and then come up short.  With pride we become obsessed with “winning” and “losing,” and most importantly with whether or not we are better than everyone else.  This introduces haughtiness towards some, competitiveness towards others, and jealousy towards everyone else.  With pride, we are loathe to look at our faults because doing so shatters our inflated sense of our own abilities, and we would rather knowingly live a lie than come down to earth and begin rebuilding.  If we have every delusion except pride, we can identify our faults and gradually overcome them all.  If we have pride, however, we can never go anywhere on the spiritual path.  We may even occupy a high spiritual position, be venerated by everyone, but inside we know we are a charlatan; or worse, we don’t even realize that we are.   

Many people in this world suffer from one form of addiction or another.  Conventionally, programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, etc., have emerged to provide people with a means of overcoming their addition.  If we examine the 12 steps of such programs carefully, we shall see they are, in almost every way, the essential meaning of this precept.  The 12 steps are:

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

As Kadampas, we realize we are addicted to samsara.  It is our delusions that sustain this addiction.  Our addiction has caused us to harm all those around us.  But if we ruthlessly acknowledge our shortcomings and humbly request the Buddhas, in particular Dorje Shugden, to help us overcome them, then we can eventually break our addiction to samsara and then help others do the same.