Happy Tsog Day: How to Give Everything to Others

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 35 of a 44-part series.

Blessing the offerings to the spirits

At this point we can send out the left-over substances to the spirits.

HUM Impure mistaken appearances are purified in emptiness,
AH Great nectar accomplished from exalted wisdom,
OM It becomes a vast ocean of desired enjoyment.
OM AH HUM  (3x)

Next in the sadhana comes the practice of the perfection of giving. To emphasize the practice of giving, we offer the tsog offering to all the spirits. Who are the spirits? For the most part, we can say that they are the spirits of the hungry ghost realm. Geshe-la explains in Joyful Path of Good Fortune that the only food hungry spirits are able to find is that which is dedicated to them by Dharma practitioners. Besides this, they are unable to find any food or drink. This is why it is customary for Dharma practitioners to leave one bite of food remaining on their plate at the end of every meal that they then mentally offer to all the spirits. When we do the dishes after a meal, there is often a good deal of wasted food. It is a good idea to have a special garbage can where we put all our uneaten food. We can then offer all this food to the hungry spirits. If we live in the city, we can sometimes recycle this extra food by placing it in special bins. If such bins do not exist, we can still mentally dedicate the food, and then put it in the regular trash. If we live in the countryside or in the suburbs, we can create a compost heap where we put all our unused food. This compost heap can become our offering to the hungry spirits and later become excellent fertilizer for our yard. Even when we put it down as fertilizer, we can imagine that we are creating a rich ecosystem for all the insects who live in our yard. In addition to offering food to the spirits, it is also important to offer food to the poor or the homeless. Every person we encounter is a karmic mirror of a future life we are likely to have. By giving food to these people now, we create the causes for others to give food to us when we are in similar need.

But before we can offer the tsog offering to the spirits, we first need to re-bless the offerings. A long time has passed since we blessed the offerings earlier, and we may have forgotten their purity. For this reason, we re-bless the offerings.

Actual offering to the spirits

HO This ocean of remaining tsog offering of uncontaminated nectar,
Blessed by concentration, mantra, and mudra,
I offer to please the assembly of oath-bound guardians.
OM AH HUM
Delighted by enjoying these magnificent objects of desire,
EH MA HO
Please perform perfect actions to help practitioners.

We offer the tsog offering to the spirits in exactly the same way as we do all the other beings in the field of merit. We imagine that countless offering goddesses emanate from our heart, scoop up the offering, bring it to the spirits who then partake of the offering through straws of vajra light. We then imagine that they are fully nourished and experience great bliss. We then request them to help practitioners. By befriending the spirits in this way, they can become powerful allies for us in our spiritual path. They can help us arrange conditions for our practice and dispel obstacles from obstructive spirits.

In the practices of Dorje Shugden, we imagine that he enlists the help of all the spirits into countless armies of Dharma protectors who work to protect living beings and their spiritual practice. This is one of the kindest things we can do, because by virtue of “giving them a job” as Dharma protectors, they will come under the care and protection of all the Buddhas as well as create the karma for themselves to be able to find the Dharma in the future.

Send out the offering to the spirits.

HO
O Guests of the remainder together with your retinues
Please enjoy this ocean of remaining tsog offering.
May those who spread the precious doctrine,
The holders of the doctrine, their benefactors, and others,
And especially I and other practitioners
Have good health, long life, power,
Glory, fame, fortune,
And extensive enjoyments.
Please grant me the attainments
Of pacifying, increasing, controlling, and wrathful actions.
You who are bound by oaths please protect me
And help me to accomplish all the attainments.
Eradicate all untimely death, sicknesses,
Harm from spirits, and hindrances.
Eliminate bad dreams,
Ill omens, and bad actions.
May there be happiness in the world, may the years be good,
May crops increase, and may the Dharma flourish.
May all goodness and happiness come about,
And may all wishes be accomplished.

By the force of this bountiful giving,
May I become a Buddha for the sake of migrators
And through my generosity may I liberate
All those not liberated by previous Buddhas.

These verses describe the different ways in which we request the spirits to help create favorable conditions for our own and others’ Dharma practice and for the fulfillment of all their wishes. It is very difficult for beings in the lower realms to engage in virtuous actions. Animals occasionally do when they care for their young. Beings in the hell realms almost never engage in any virtuous actions. Hungry spirits for the most part also engage only in negativity because they are constantly so deprived of resources. We can understand this by looking at areas of extreme poverty in the world today. They are often ghettoized into small areas, left with virtually no resources, and naturally a war of all against all begins to take place. But through pure dedications and prayers by Dharma practitioners, we cannot only give spirits food and nourishment, we can also provide them with opportunities to create virtue for themselves by enlisting them to become Dharma protectors in the ways described above.

How to practise the perfection of giving

I seek your blessings to complete the perfection of giving
Through the instructions on improving the mind of giving without attachment,
And Thus, to transform my body, my enjoyments, and my virtues amassed throughout the three times
Into whatever each sentient being desires.

Giving is the cause of receiving. The perfection of giving is giving with the bodhicitta motivation. There are four types of giving: giving material things, giving love, giving fearlessness, and giving Dharma. We give material things when we provide others with what they need. We give love primarily through giving our time and helping other people feel like they matter to us and we are willing to work for their well-being. We help others feel good about themselves. We give fearlessness by helping others overcome their fear or protecting them from dangers. The ultimate way to give fearlessness is to help others realize no matter what happens they can transform it into the path, and so therefore there is nothing to fear from anything. And we give Dharma anytime we give others good advice. It does not have to take the form of Dharma teachings, it can even just simply be showing a good example. Dharma advice is different than ordinary advice. Ordinary advice explains to people what they should do to change their external circumstance. Dharma advice explains to people how they can change their mind with regards to whatever is happening. It takes as is starting point that our problem is our mind; and this is distinct from our outer problem, which is whatever is happening in the world.

Gen Tharchin explains one of the best ways of practicing giving is to abandon completely the conceptual thought “mine.” If we do not impute mine on anything and instead consider everything as belonging to others, then we are able to give away absolutely everything. When we think mine with respect to some object, we burn up our merit of having the thing. If we impute “others’” and mentally give it away to them, then we accumulate merit by having those things. A doubt may arise if we give away everything how will we take care of ourselves? The answer is we can practice the giving of keeping. Sometimes the best way to give to others is to keep something in our protection or custody until we are able to give it to others or they are ready to receive it. For example, we can view our home as something we are temporarily maintaining so that we are able to give it away to others later. Even if we later sell our home, we can do so with the intention of giving the money away, using it for the benefit of others, or maintaining our precious human life so we can attain enlightenment for others. We can keep our body so that we can offer it in service to others. We can gain Dharma wisdom with the intention of giving it away to others. Even when we attain an enlightened body, we do not have to think it is ours but rather something we are using to be able to benefit others. In banking, there is something called having a fiduciary responsibility. While they are managing others money, they are supposed to do so for the benefit and for their sake of their clients. In exactly the same way, we can view ourselves as having a fiduciary responsibility to all living beings and manage everything we own for their sake.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Making Dharma an acquisition of your personality

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

The second main meaning of the precept to be released by two, investigation and analysis, is it advises that for every Dharma realization we first attain a general understanding through investigation and study, and then gain a more subtle understanding through contemplation and meditation.  Dharma realizations within our mind can be understood to develop along two axis, horizontally and vertically.  Horizontally means we come to gain an understanding of all the different objects of Dharma.  It is not enough to know one or two (though that is good too), but we need to understand the entire path and how everything fits together.  The main objects of the path are the 21 lamrim meditations, the 6 perfections, and generation stage and completion stage of secret mantra.  Within each of these, especially emptiness and the Tantric teachings, there are many different crucial parts, all which we must understand correctly. 

The way we do this is primarily though reading Dharma books and receiving Dharma teachings.  We are fortunate that Geshe-la has condensed and consolidated thousands of years of spiritual tradition and countless root texts and commentaries down to a little more than 20 books.  This simplifies our task considerably.  If we had to read all the books, root texts, and commentaries that have ever been written in the history of our tradition, we would never finish.  Fortunately, Geshe-la has done this work for us, so we can rely upon his commentaries as a complete set of teachings lacking nothing.  This does not mean we are not allowed to go read other Dharma teachings, we are of course free to do as we wish.  But for those who don’t have the time to read these other things or for those who would rather focus on gaining experience of the Dharma they have already learned, we can have great confidence that the canon of Geshe-la’s teachings lack nothing we do need, and they contain nothing we don’t need.

To enable us to better understand the written teachings we have received, Geshe-la has established thousands of Dharma centers and meditation groups around the world.  At these Dharma centers, we can receive teachings about the meaning of the books and we can discuss our experiences with those who are likewise trying to put these precious instructions into practice.  We can also attend national and international Dharma festivals where we can receive direct teachings from some of the most experienced Kadampa practitioners in the world.  These teachings all help us develop a clearer and more complete picture of the entire Kadampa path.  Reading Dharma books and listening to teachings are the ways in which we expand our horizontal understanding of the Dharma.  These two are how we “investigate” the Dharma.

Each Dharma instruction also has a vertical dimension to it.  The vertical dimension refers to gaining deeper and deeper personal experience of the given instruction, and how that instruction informs and reinforces all the others.  There are two main methods by which we do this:  contemplation and meditation.  Collectively, within the context of this precept, these two are known as “analysis.” 

Contemplation means we test and examine the meaning of what we have learned.  We check and see whether or not it makes sense and conforms with our own experience.  We explore the various paradoxes or contradictions that might appear, attempting to resolve them so that everything makes sense.  We move beyond understanding each instruction in a vacuum, and instead start to see how all the instructions interrelate with one another, mutually reinforcing and informing each other.  The Lamrim, for example, ceases to be 21 separate meditations, and instead becomes one practice with 21 parts.  The differences between Sutra and Tantra fall away, the gap between the vast and the profound paths disappear.  Our direct practice of any one meditation begins to indirectly strengthen our experience and understanding of all the others.  What previously seemed like countless parts, and sub-parts, and divisions and sub-divisions becomes increasingly simplified to the point where we see how by practicing a few key things directly, we are indirectly practicing everything.  Contemplation functions to resolve all our doubts about our practice, enabling us to wholeheartedly commit to our training.  One of the most important benefits of contemplation is the apparent duality between our daily life and our Dharma practice begins to fade away until there is no separation whatsoever between the two. 

Meditation is when we allow our mind to settle and hold with an understanding or realization we have gain.  Through our investigation and contemplation of the Dharma, clear understandings will occasionally arise within our mind.  Venerable Tharchin calls these “ah ha” moments.  Suddenly the light turns on, the penny drops, the stars align, things become clear.  When this happens, we should stop our contemplation and allow our mind to “soak in” this new understanding.  We try to “maintain the continuum of not forgetting” what we have just understood.  We try pay attention to this particular understanding within our mind and prevent it from wandering somewhere else.  Sometimes people misunderstand the term “hold our object of meditation” as if we need to hold on tight to something.  In fact, it is the opposite.  The tighter we try hold our objects, the more swiftly they slip away, like a bar of wet soap we try to squeeze.  Instead, hold means hold up gently within our mind.  It is like creating a little cup with our hand within which the wet bar of soap rests gently.  It is more like allowing a candle flame to remain undisturbed within our mind, and we keep the flame alive by “paying attention to trying to remember” it.  This is “placement meditation,” or simply meditation.

There are many many different levels of what is called “meditative equipoise.”  I tend to think of it as meditative balance.  The object is there, it is present within our mind.  We just need to not lose it.  If we can keep our mind calm, still, and above all balanced, the object will simply remain undisturbed.  In fact, the more balanced our mind is, the more intensely the light of the realization will shine into the corners of our mind.  At first we can keep the object present and illuminated within our mind for a few moments, then for a minute, then for five minutes, then for our entire meditation session and finally for the rest of our life. 

There are two aspects to proper meditation.  These are like the two axes upon which the surface of our mind can tilt.  If the mind loses balance, the marble of the meditation object will quickly roll off.  The two aspects are:  not forgetting the object, and not allowing its vibrancy to fade.  In technical terms, forgetting the object is called “mental excitement” and losing the vibrancy of the object is called “mental sinking.” 

Mental excitement basically means our mind wanders off to some other object, usually some object of attachment.  This happens because we think it is more interesting, more enjoyable, or more beneficial to think about this other object.  To prevent mental excitement, we need to train in what is technically called “mindfulness.”  Mindfulness is just a fancy way of saying, “not forgetting.”  For example, we are told that if we want to remember somebody’s name when we meet them, then after they introduce themselves to us we should make a point of “trying to remember” their name.  We try remember their name continuously without forgetting it for as long as we can.  If we do this, then we remember.  If we don’t do this, we will forget the person’s name almost as soon as they tell it to us. 

If we find that our mind has already wandered off to some other object, when we become aware of the fact that we have lost our object of meditation we should ask ourselves, “what is more beneficial, thinking about this object of attachment or remembering my object of meditation.”  We then recall the benefits of the given object of meditation, and this inspires us to refind it.  We then go through the contemplation again until once again the candle lights and an understanding of the object reemerges within our mind. 

We oppose losing the vibrancy of our objects of meditation through the mental factor called “alertness.”  Alertness is just a fancy way of saying “paying full attention.”  When we are driving and not sure where we are, we “pay full attention” to our surroundings to try figure out where we are.  If we are in some danger, we “pay full attention” to the situation to be on the lookout for things that could potentially harm us.  When we are sick with some disease and our doctor is explaining to us what we need to do to get better, we “pay full attention” to what she is saying.  In the same way, when a Dharma understanding dawns within our mind, we should “pay full attention” to it.  The more we pay attention to it, the brighter it becomes in our mind.  But it is important to note that “paying full attention” to something does not mean “straining.”  These two are, in fact, opposites.  Sometimes you will see people meditating with their brow fully crunched together as they strain to stay focused.  Concentrating on our object of meditation is not like holding back the onslaught of distractions through brute force, rather it is more allowing our mind to “rest within the object.”  It is light, relaxed, at peace.  It is open, spacious, confident, undisturbed.  If there is no wind blowing, even the lightest feather will remain at rest.  It is the same with our objects of meditation.

In summary, Venerable Tharchin explains the three levels at which we mix our mind with the Dharma in the following way.  He says listening to or reading the Dharma (investigation) is gaining an intellectual understanding of somebody else’s point of view or wisdom.  We understand what the teachings say.  Contemplation functions to transform what was an intellectual understanding of somebody else’s point of view into our own point of view or wisdom.  Not only do we understand how the Dharma sees things, we fully agree with it ourself.  Meditation functions to transform this point of view into “an acquisition of our personality.”  For example, we can listen to Dharma teachings to gain an understanding of what compassion means to Buddhists.  Then, through our contemplation, we develop compassion within our own mind, we cause authentic compassion to arise within our own mind.  Through meditation on this compassion, we ourselves become a “compassionate person.”  Venerable Tharchin said, “we become whatever we mix our mind with.”  If we mix our mind with violence, we will become a violent person.  If we mix our mind with love, we will become a loving person.  Some people mistakenly think Buddhism is just a philosophy.  Buddhism is actually a method for radical and complete transformation of who we are, not just transforming ourself from an angry into a patient person, but transforming ourself from a suffering sentient being into a fully enlightened Buddha.     

This precept, be released by two, investigation and analysis, explains the actual method by which we practice the Dharma.  It is the “how,” and the rest of the teachings are the “what.”

Happy Tara Day: Bringing our seven-limb prayer to life

Kadampa Ryan How to Rely Upon Tara, Tara Days

This is the eighth installment of the 12-part series sharing my understanding of the practice Liberation from Sorrow.

Prayer of seven limbs

To Venerable Arya Tara
And all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas
Residing in the ten directions and the three times,
I prostrate with sincere faith.

Actual prostration is an inner wish to become just like whatever we are prostrating to.  When we prostrate to the good qualities of Buddhas, we are not trying to flatter them, rather we are humbly acknowledging that they have qualities we aspire towards, and our prostration is a commitment that we will rely upon them until we gain these same qualities ourself.  When we recite this verse, we should imagine that all of the countless Buddhas and Bodhisattvas of all three times are joining us in prostrating towards Arya Tara, our common spiritual mother.  Every Buddha and every bodhisattva is different, but we all share a common respect for our kind spiritual mother, and we pay respect to her wishing to become just like her.  We might wonder why Buddhas need to prostrate to other Buddhas since they have already attained every good quality.  They do so for two reasons, as a sign of respect recognizing all of the good that Tara does and to show a good example to everybody else by reaffirming that she is the spiritual mother of us all. 

I offer you flowers, incense, lights,
Perfumes, foods, music and other offerings,
Both actually set out and mentally imagined;
Please accept these, O Assembly of Aryas.

Buddhas do not need offerings from their own side since they already have everything they need.  We, however, need to make offerings because we need the merit, or good karma.  Gaining Dharma realizations depends primarily upon three conditions:  a mind free from negative karma, an abundance of merit, and a steady flow of blessings.  This can be likened to sea lanes free from obstacles, good sails, and plenty of wind.  When we recite this verse, we should imagine that ourself and all living beings surrounding us all fill the entire universe with countless breathtaking offerings.  We should imagine that the assembly of Taras accepts our offerings out of delight, knowing that we are now karmically closer to her and our minds our rich with merit she can subsequently bless.

I confess all negative actions,
The five heinous actions and the ten non-virtues,
That I have committed since beginningless time
Through my mind being overcome by delusions.

The strength of our purification depends upon the extent to which we generate the four opponent powers.  The power of regret is admitting that we have made mistakes and recognizing that if we do not purify, we will suffer the karmic consequences – not as a punishment, but more an issue of spiritual gravity.  This primarily purifies the effects similar to the cause.  The power of reliance means we turn to the three jewels for purification of our negative karma and to seek their help so that we can change our ways.  This primarily purifies the environmental effect of our negative karma.  The power of the opponent force is some virtuous action we engage in to counteract or oppose the negative karma we previously created.  Venerable Tharchin explains that negative karma is like tiny vibrations on our very subtle mind, but if we send an opposite wave towards it, we can neutralize our past negative deeds.  This primarily purifies the ripened effect, or the substantial cause of future lower rebirth.  The power of the promise is a personal commitment that we will not repeat our past mistakes, but instead do something positive.  This primarily purifies the tendency to engage again in negative actions.  If all four powers are assembled, we can quickly purify all of our negative karma, but if we fail to generate these four causes, then our purification will be incomplete.  Any virtuous action can be an opponent force if performed motivated by regret. 

To purification in this context, we should first generate regret for all the negative karma that remains in our mind which can result in lower rebirth, create obstacles to our practice of Lamrim, and interfere with our ability to generate pure faith in Arya Tara.  We then recall the assembly of Taras in front of us and generate faith and reliance in them.  When we engage in the opponent action of confession, we are coming clean with our mistakes acknowledging them as mistakes, without our typical rationalization or minimization for why they don’t matter.  Understanding them clearly as the wrong way to go, we then commit to both ourself and Guru Tara that we will change our ways.  We can then imagine that countless purifying nectars stream down from Tara’s heart, filling our heart and purifying all of our negative karma.

 We can sometimes confuse Buddhist confession with Catholic confession.  In Christian traditions, we confess our wrong deeds in the hopes that God will forgive us.  In Buddhism, we do not need some outside power to forgive us, but we do need to receive purifying blessings.  Receiving Tara’s purifying blessings does not depend upon her forgiving us, rather they will spontaneously come down every time the conditions for them to occur arise, just like sunlight will flood in each time we open the blinds without the Sun having to decide to fill our room with light.

I rejoice in the merit of all the virtues
Collected throughout the three times
By Bodhisattvas, Solitary Conquerors,
Hearers, ordinary beings and others.

When we rejoice in virtue we create a similitude of the virtuous karma we are rejoicing in, as if we engaged in the virtuous action ourself.  Since Tara is the Lamrim Buddha and she has committed herself to protecting the followers of Atisha, when we engage in this practice, we should particularly rejoice in all of the virtue of the Kadam lineage gurus and the millions of old and new Kadampa practitioners.  All of these virtuous deeds are inspired by Tara and rejoicing in these Kadampa virtues aligns us with not only her blessings, but the karmic current of the Kadampas.  We can then ride the “great wave” of their deeds all the way to enlightenment.

Please turn the Wheel of Dharma
Of the great, small and common vehicles,
According to the different wishes
And capacities of living beings.

Buddhas appear in countless Buddhist and non-Buddhist form depending upon the karmic dispositions of different disciples around the world.  We don’t in any way need more Buddhists per se, we are content with anybody moving in virtuous directions depending upon wherever they are starting from.  But here, since this is a practice of Tara, in particular we request the turning of the wheel of Kadam Dharma, the Kadam Lamrim.  Geshe-la says everyone needs Lamrim, whether we are Buddhist or not.  Lamrim is inseparable from living with wisdom.  If we look at the world and social media, we can find countless examples of Lamrim-like wisdom appearing in a variety of different forms that are acceptable to different audiences.  This is a wonderful thing, and is the direct result of Kadampa practitioners praying for the turning of the wheel of Kadam Dharma.  Likewise, Milarepa said he does not need Dharma books because everything reveals to him the truth of Dharma.  Part of the Buddhas turning the Wheel of Dharma includes blessing the minds of living beings to learn Dharma lessons from whatever arises in the world.  When we recite this verse, we should strongly request Tara continue to pour down the wisdom of the Kadam Lamrim in this world in whatever form living beings can accept – which usually means Facebook quotes or funny memes!

For as long as samsara has not ceased,
Please do not pass beyond sorrow;
But with compassion care for all living beings
Drowning in the ocean of suffering.

A Buddha is a deathless being.  They have quite literally conquered death and have the ability to remain in this world, life after life, gradually guiding living beings along the path to enlightenment.  They can do so without ever being subject to samsara’s sufferings.  Their emanation bodies will be born, age, get sick, and eventually pass away, but the actual Buddha remains in this world forever.  When we recite this verse, we pray that Buddhas emanations continue to appear forever.  Buddhas are everywhere, but whether they can help living beings depends upon whether they appear or not.  Them appearing helping living beings is a dependent arising, dependent upon our creating the karma for them to appear.  When we recite this verse, we create the karmic causes for them to continue to appear.  It is important that when we recite this verse we do so for the sake of others.  We can sometimes think, “well I’ve already found the Dharma, so why do I need to pray for this?”  The answer is (1) other living beings matter too, and (2) by praying that emanations continue to appear for others we create the karmic causes for them to continue to appear to us in all of our future lives.

May all the merit I have collected
Become the cause of enlightenment;
And before too long may I become
The Glorious Guide of migrators.

Dedicating our merit is like investing our money.  We put it away in for a particular cause and then it continues to work towards the fulfillment of that cause.  There is a big difference between investing our money and spending it on our present needs.  Here, we dedicate all our merit to our swiftest possible enlightenment so we can then help others attain the same state.  In this way, we ourselves become part of the great wave of Tara’s family.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  the “Twelve Steps” of breaking our addiction to samsara

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Be released by two:  investigation and analysis. 

This precept has two main meanings.  The first meaning is we should be aware of all our actions of body, speech, and mind.  With this mindfulness we can gradually overcome all our faults. 

From a practical point of view, pride is actually the most harmful of all the delusions.  Why?  Because pride functions to blind us to our own faults.  If we are unaware of our faults, then there is no way we can overcome them.  Our pride does not prevent others from being able to catalog clearly all our faults, but with pride even when others point out to us our shortcomings, we fail to see them and we instead see all the faults of the person “attacking and criticizing us.”  When we suffer from pride, when we do become aware of our faults or limitations, we quickly become despondent, deflated, and discouraged.  We swing from misplaced overconfidence to a wish to give up trying.  We somehow think we should be naturally endowed with perfect abilities, and we think we should enjoy great success without putting in the necessary preparatory work.  We would rather not try at all than give something our all and then come up short.  With pride we become obsessed with “winning” and “losing,” and most importantly with whether or not we are better than everyone else.  This introduces haughtiness towards some, competitiveness towards others, and jealousy towards everyone else.  With pride, we are loathe to look at our faults because doing so shatters our inflated sense of our own abilities, and we would rather knowingly live a lie than come down to earth and begin rebuilding.  If we have every delusion except pride, we can identify our faults and gradually overcome them all.  If we have pride, however, we can never go anywhere on the spiritual path.  We may even occupy a high spiritual position, be venerated by everyone, but inside we know we are a charlatan; or worse, we don’t even realize that we are.   

Many people in this world suffer from one form of addiction or another.  Conventionally, programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous, etc., have emerged to provide people with a means of overcoming their addition.  If we examine the 12 steps of such programs carefully, we shall see they are, in almost every way, the essential meaning of this precept.  The 12 steps are:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

As Kadampas, we realize we are addicted to samsara.  It is our delusions that sustain this addiction.  Our addiction has caused us to harm all those around us.  But if we ruthlessly acknowledge our shortcomings and humbly request the Buddhas, in particular Dorje Shugden, to help us overcome them, then we can eventually break our addiction to samsara and then help others do the same.

Happy Protector Day: Tapping into Dorje Shugden’s Power

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden, Protector Days, Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

The 29th of every month is Protector Day.  This is part 7 of a 12-part series aimed at helping us remember our Dharma Protector Dorje Shugden and increase our faith in him on these special days.

The remainder of the sadhana is largely making requests to Dorje Shugden.  Before we get into the specifics, I want to now explain some general advice on how to increase the power of our making requests to him.  These apply equally to the meditation break as well as the meditation session. 

First, the extent to which he can help us depends on the degree of faith we have in him.  If our faith is weak, his protection will be weak.  This is not because he is holding back it is because our mind remains closed so he has few points of entry for bestowing his blessings.  If our faith is indestructible and infinite, then his protection of us will be infinite.  If we understand this we will realize that our primary training in the practice of Dorje Shugden is increasing our faith in him.

Second, he can help us to the extent that our motivation is pure.  When our motivation is pure, it is like we align the crystals of our mind perfectly with the light of the deity.  To improve our motivation, we need to train sincerely in Lamrim.  The main function of Lamrim is to change our heart desires from worldly ones into spiritual ones.  Once we get our motivation right, everything else naturally falls into place.  It is the mental factor intention that determines the karma we create, so intention is the most important.

Third, he can help us to the extent that we realize that he, ourselves and everything else are empty.  The main point is this:  Dorje Shugden isn’t anything from his own side.  He is as powerful as we construct him to be.  We can construct him as an ordinary being or as an infinitely powerful protector.

After the invitation to Dorje Shugden, which has already been explained, we then make offerings and requests as follows:

HUM
Respectfully I prostrate with body, speech and mind. 

Here we imagine that from ourself and from all the beings we previously put within the protection circle, we emanate all of our past and future bodies.  Then with all of these past, present and future emanations of ourself, we prostrate.  This creates special merit with him so that he can provide us protection in all our past, present and future lives.  How Dorje Shugden protects us in our present and future lives is easy to understand.  But how can he provide us protection in our past lives when they have already passed?   He can bless our mind so that everything that happened to us in the past also becomes a cause of our enlightenment. We view our past differently in such a way that it teaches us lessons of Dharma.  In this way, no matter when we start our practice, even if it is when we are very old, it can be as if we effectively have practiced our whole life.  When we go to normal psychological therapists, they help us process our past so that it is no longer a drag on us.  In the same way, by requesting Dorje Shugden to transform our past experiences into a cause of our enlightenment, we receive special blessings to view these events differently.  We may even come to view our greatest past trauma as our greatest life blessing.  Such is the power of Dorje Shugden and the truth of emptiness.

I offer a mass of inner and outer offerings, blissful tormas,
Alcohol, tea, cakes, milk, and curd,
Both actually set out and mentally imagined, filling the whole of space.

The basic idea is this:  whatever we offer to Dorje Shugden, he can then use for our swiftest possible enlightenment.  For example, if I offer my house to him, then everything that happens in my house will be emanated by him for my practice, etc.  So mentally, we offer everything because we want to use everything for our attainment of enlightenment. 

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Being spiritually decisive

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Train with certainty. 

To gain realizations of training the mind we need to practice wholeheartedly without hesitation and doubt.  First, we need to understand and study how to practice, then we need to practice steadfastly until we achieve our goal.

In the beginning of our spiritual training, the only thing we know for sure is that despite having tried our whole life, we are still not happy.  We know what we have done so far hasn’t worked.  The first many years of our spiritual training are largely about just gaining an intellectual understanding of what the path to enlightenment is all about.  We come to understand what is the nature of our problem and what can help.  We are still unclear about what are the objects of abandonment and what are the objects of attainment on the spiritual path.  But there does come a point where things are clear to us.  We see through the lies of our delusions.  We see the truth of the Dharma.  We know what we must do.  We know where our effort will take us.  Venerable Tharchin says, “once we see how the path actually can work, effort becomes effortless.”  In other words, when we know what the methods are and that if we do them, they are guaranteed to give us the promised results, it is easy to generate the effort necessary to enter, progress along, and complete the path.  So our first task is to become clear about what needs to be done and why it will work.  On this basis, we can then begin to actually practice, in other words, actually begin changing our mind.

There are two types of doubt:  deluded doubt and virtuous doubt.  The technical definition of deluded doubt is a doubt that tends in the opposite direction of correct belief in some object of Dharma.  Practically speaking, though, deluded doubt says, “I am not sure, so until I am, I won’t believe anything.”  The technical definition of virtuous doubt is a doubt that tends in the direction of correct belief in some object of Dharma.  Practically speaking, though, virtuous doubt says, “I am not sure, so until I am, I am going to keep experimenting and trying until I am.”  Deluded doubt stops us dead in our tracks, virtuous doubt pushes us to delve deeper, explore more, keep trying.

Deluded doubt is the death of practice.  Doubt causes us to hold ourself back so that we don’t engage fully in our practice.  We hedge our bets, trying to get the best of samsara and the best of Dharma.  We never really allow ourselves to change or believe anything for fear of being wrong, but as a result we never do anything and therefore make the biggest mistake of all.  Many people can become completely paralyzed by their doubts, or worse they become a habitual doubter about everything.  Doubt lies to us telling us that it is protecting us from believing something that might be wrong.  We believe our doubts are protecting us, but in reality they are keeping us at square one. 

When a baseball player swings a bat or a golfer swings a club, they put their whole body into it.  When a sprinter races towards the finish line they hold nothing back and they give it everything they’ve got.  When a scientist performs an experiment, they do everything they can to give the experiment a chance of succeeding, they don’t sabotage it beforehand thinking, “this will never work anyways.”  An actor on the stage literally forgets who they are as they plunge themselves fully into their character.  This is how we should practice.  We should put our whole mind into.  We should hold nothing back.  We should give it everything we’ve got.  We should do everything we can to give our practice the opportunity to succeed.  We should forget our ordinary self and plunge ourselves fully into our new identity as a bodhisattva or indeed a Tantric deity. 

A powerful leader is somebody who is able to be decisive, and never look back.  They know hedging and trying to split the difference often just guarantees failure.  Once they have committed to a course of action, they carry it through to completion, despite all adversity and everyone else around them having given up long ago.  Once the die are cast, they know there is no taking it back.  When a general launches a battle, they don’t stop until their objective is reached.  This is how we should practice.  We decide to leave our delusions behind, and we never look back.  We don’t hedge between samsara and the Dharma, but instead we burn our bridges back to samsara behind us.  Once we have taken vows and committed to the Bodhisattva’s path, we never give up no matter what adversity we may face, even if everyone who started with us has long ago given up.  Once we have become ordained or generated superior intention towards our family, we know there is no taking it back and we continue on no matter what.  Once we embark upon the Joyful Path, we never stop until all beings have been freed. 

Happy Tsog Day: Generating a Supreme Good Heart

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 34 of a 44-part series.

How to meditate on superior intention and generate bodhichitta

Through love, compassion, and superior intention,
And the magical practice of mounting taking and giving upon the breath,
I seek your blessings to generate the actual bodhichitta,
To free all migrators from this great ocean of samsara.

This verse explains how all the previous verses combined together into the practice of generating bodhicitta. Love refers to the mind of cherishing others, considering their happiness and freedom to be important. Compassion is the wish to protect other living beings from their suffering. Superior intention is the mind that assumes personal responsibility to protect others from their suffering. The magical practice of taking and giving up on the breath is a method for ripening our bodhicitta by bringing the future result of liberating all living beings into the path. In this verse, we request blessings from the spiritual guide to generate the actual bodhicitta in our mind. Bodhichitta has two wishes. The principal wish is to free all migrators from the ocean of samsara. The assistant wish is the wish to become a Buddha so as to be able to fulfill our principal wish. Geshe-la gives the analogy of wishing to have a cup of tea. Our principle wishes to have a cup of tea, and the assistant wish is to get a cup. If our principal wish is strong, we naturally get a cup without giving it much thought, and certainly without forgetting our principal wish to have a cup of tea. Our principal wish is not to get a cup, it is to drink tea. We need the cup in order to do so. In the same way, our principal wish is to free all living beings from samsara. Since this wish is so burning within us, we naturally attain enlightenment because that is the only means of being able to do so.

An often overlooked ingredient of generating the mind bodhicitta is accepting our present inability to help others. As our compassion grows, we naturally want to protect others from their suffering, but as a result we come face to face with our current inability to do so. This can cause us to become frustrated and discouraged. This discouragement or frustration comes from our failure to accept that for as long as beings remained in samsara, they will continue to suffer. The mind of compassion wishes that living beings not suffer. The mind of attachment to others not suffering has the same wish. But these are two fundamentally different minds. The former is motivated by cherishing love, wishing others to be happy; whereas the latter is motivated by attachment, wishing ourselves to be happy while thinking that others need to be happy in order for us to be happy. We need to abandon our attachment to others being happy and free from suffering in order to generate authentic love and compassion for others. This depends upon us being able to fully accept beings will continue to suffer for as long as we do not attain enlightenment. We have to come to peace with this fact before we will then be able to not be crushed by the suffering around us. What enables us to be at peace with the fact that others suffer is the knowledge that we have found a final solution that will enable us to in the future once and for all free all living beings from all their suffering. Seen in this way, accepting our present powerlessness and helplessness is an essential foundation for the exalted mind bodhicitta.

Sometimes we also doubt it is possible for a being such as ourselves to become a Buddha. Bodhichitta simply becomes words we say, not something we feel in our heart. We struggle to even get through the day, much less take on their personal responsibility to free all living beings. We see how despite having been around the Dharma for many years, we remain highly deluded. This causes us to doubt our ability to become a Buddha, and if we do not think it is possible to become one, it will be impossible for us to generate authentic bodhicitta. To overcome this doubt, we need to have unshakable faith in our pure potential. Geshe-la explains in Oral Instructions of Mahamudra that our indestructible wind and our indestructible mind at our heart are our indestructible body and mind. They are our deathless body and mind that go with us from life to life, and will eventually transform into the body and mind of a Buddha. The ultimate nature of this indestructible wind and indestructible mind, in other words the emptiness of these two, is our naturally abiding Buddha nature. Because it is empty, it can become anything. If we create the karma to become a Buddha, we will. All it takes is sufficient patience and perseverance to continue for as long as it takes. We all have experience of having changed ourselves a little. If we can change ourselves a little, we can change ourselves completely. It is only our attachment to results and our impatience with wanting to be farther along than we are that causes us to become discouraged. We need to accept where we are at and then grow from there. This is the well-balanced mind of a steady practitioner.

How to take the vows of aspiring and engaging bodhichitta

I seek your blessings to strive sincerely on the sole path
Traversed by all the Conquerors of the three times –
To bind my mind with pure Bodhisattva vows
And practise the three moral disciplines of the Mahayana.

Once we have generated the wish to become a Buddha, we then need to do something to become a Buddha. The foundation of the Mahayana path is the practice of the bodhisattva vows. These vows and commitments provide us with guidelines for how to ripen our Buddha nature and to put into practice our bodhichitta wish. An extensive explanation of the vows the body sought for vows could be found in the book The Bodhisatta Vow. You can also read about how to integrate these into our modern life through the series of posts I did earlier. Every Buddha attained enlightenment independence upon generating the mind of bodhichitta, maintaining their bodhisattva vows, and practicing the six perfections.

It is important to renew our vows daily. In general, we can say we only break our vows if we make the decision to no longer follow them. But practically speaking, if we do not remember them, we will not be able to practice them. It is also not sufficient to generate the intention to observe the bodhisattva vows once, we must become deeply familiar with this wish. For this reason, we should retake our bodhisatva vows every day. In Oral Instructions of Mahamudra, Geshe-la explains how to do this in the context of the practice Hundreds of Deities of the Joyful Land according to Highest Yoga Tantra. Each time we retake our bodhisattva vows, we should strongly believe that we have purified all the negative karma associated with transgressions of our vows, and that we have received fresh vows upon our mental continuum.

It is particularly important to die with fresh vows upon our mind. As explained before, our vows function to maintain the continuum of our Dharma practice without interruption between now and our eventual enlightenment. When we are on our deathbed, it is important to refresh all our vows – our refuge vows, our pratimoksha vows, our bodhisattva vows, and our tantric vows. We can restore our refuge vows and our bodhisattva vows with the practice of Hundreds of Deities of the Joyful Land. We can restore our pratimoksha vows with the short sadhana for doing so. And we can restore our tantric vows through engaging in self-initiation. In order to engage in self-initiation we have to have previously completed a close retreat of either Heruka or Vajrayogini. Once we have engaged in a close retreat, we can retake our tantric vows anytime we wish. This is one of the principal advantages or reasons for engaging in a close retreat. When one of Venerable Tharchin’s students was about to die, he went to the hospital and engaged in self-initiation with the person so that they could die with fresh tantric vows on their mental continuum. Within the context of the self-initiation practice, we can retake all our vows. I pray that all Kadampas are able to engage in self-initiation just prior to the moment of their death. If we are able to do so, we can be guaranteed to find once again the tantric path to enlightenment in our next life.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Generating constancy in our practice

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Do not be erratic. 

The effort we apply when practicing Dharma should be steady and consistent.  A short-term effort that later slackens will not produce results.  We need continuous effort until we accomplish our final goal of full enlightenment.

First, we need a clear understanding of what effort is.  Effort in a Dharma context is not the same as effort in an ordinary context.  In an ordinary context, effort means to work hard.  In a Dharma context, effort means “to take delight in engaging in virtue.”  It is a special mind that enjoys engaging in virtue.  Nothing is enjoyable or unenjoyable from its own side.  Things become enjoyable when we relate to them with a mind of enjoyment.  Things become unbearable when we relate to them with a mind of impatience.  If we work very hard at our Dharma practice, meditating every day, working endlessly for the center, going to all the teachings, etc., but we do so with a heavy mind of guilt and obligation, then we actually have no effort.  Without effort, we will have no results.  If instead we do very little formal practice, but we go about our day enjoying the opportunity to train our mind to respond with wisdom and compassion to whatever arises, then we have great effort and results will flow naturally. 

How do we develop a mind that “enjoys” engaging in virtue?  First, we must recognize that at present our mind enjoys engaging in non-virtue and dreads having to engage in virtue.  Shantideva says we are drawn like moths to a flame to that which is harmful to us, and we flee that which is good for us.    Why is this?  The reason is we are completely confused about what is the cause of happiness and what is the cause of suffering.  We enjoy eating ice cream, we would not enjoy eating ice cream we know is laced with poison.  Why the difference?  Because we know one thing is very bad for us and the other is not.  So we need to take the time to consider what is actually good for us.  The things of samsara can at most help us in this one life, but Dharma can help us in all our future lives.  In reality, any good thing in samsara comes from past virtuous karma.  Where did that good karma come from?  Our past practice of virtue.  Even from the perspective of this life alone, when our mind is under the influence of delusion, we are unhappy; whereas if our mind if peaceful, wise, and full of love, we are very happy.  Further, the so-called pleasures of samsara actually just serve to ensnare us further into the deceptive lies of samsara, and cause us to waste countless hours of our precious human life doing things in a meaningless way.  Would someone derive much enjoyment spending all the money in their retirement on a fancy vacation, knowing that they are squandering all that they have saved up and that they will have to spend their retirement in abject poverty?  It is the same with samsara’s pleasures.  When we harvest them, we are causing our virtuous seeds to ripen, and once exhausted we will have no karmic provisions left for the long road ahead of our countless future lives. 

Second, we need to completely let go of attachment to results from our practice.  The fastest and most effective way to kill the joy in our practice is to become attached to experiencing results.  The definition of pure Dharma practice is practice that is engaged in free from the 8 worldly concerns, one of which is wanting to experience pleasure and pleasant feelings.  Many people do meditation hoping that it will make them feel “blissed out” or at least help them “calm down.”  They may have had some experiences in the past where they were blown away by some deep spiritual insight, and they grasp at trying to get the next spiritual breakthrough.  Sometimes people quickly become frustrated when they become distracted quickly and fail to find their object of meditation in any meaningful way.  Or perhaps some people have been practicing for many years, but they feel like they are just as deluded as they always were.  Practicing with these sorts of attachment to results in our mind leads to all sorts of frustrations, tensions, discouragements, and disappointments with our spiritual practice.  Attachment to results drains the joy from our practice in the same way unplugging a barrel will eventually drain its contents.  Once the joy is gone, we may continue to practice driven by guilt or some feeling of obligation, but this can’t last long.  Eventually we abandon everything or become a neurotic mess. 

In contrast, when we completely let go of attachment to results in our practice, everything becomes naturally joyful.  What does it mean to practice without attachment to results?  It means, quite simply, we derive our enjoyment from planting good seeds, not harvesting their results.  We should be like the squirrel who spends the Fall collecting nuts and storing them away so that when winter comes he has enough provisions to last him.  The other animals may seem to be having fun, but come wintertime, they regret their shortsightedness.  We should be like the hard-working medical student that stays in school for many long years after all their friends have left school and gone off to work, making money, going on vacations, etc.  They do this because they know they are working for a higher goal.  We should be like the investor who saves as much money as they can, little by little, adding to their investment capital which will one day enable them to live effortlessly without ever having to work again as they live off of the dividends of their prior investments.  We should be like the farmer who plans ahead, preparing the soil, planting seeds, irrigating the fields and ensuring there is enough sunlight.  The farmer does not expect the crops to ripen before the seeds are planted, but instead knows such seeds must be patiently nurtured and cared for in order to have a bountiful harvest come the Fall. 

Ghandi famously said, “full effort is full victory.”  His meaning was when we apply ourselves fully to effort and completely forget about results, such effort itself is full victory itself.  When such effort is attained, the final results are a foregone conclusion, as we go from joy to joy travelling along the path. 

We are desire realm beings, which means we have no choice but to do what we want.  So the whole trick of Dharma is to change what we want from what is harmful to us to what is beneficial to us.  Our wanting to enjoy ourselves is not a problem, our problem is we are confused about what is enjoyable.  Licking honey off of a razor blade is not enjoyable, building for a better future is.  When we enjoy engaging in virtue more than we enjoy indulging in samsara’s deceptive pleasures, then we will naturally engage in virtue for the simple reason of we want to.  Once we are like this, there is no danger of us being erratic or our effort waning, we simply do what we enjoy all the way to enlightenment.

A Pure Life: Abandoning Sexual Activity

Kadampa Ryan Precept Days

This is part seven of a 12-part series on how to skillfully train in the Eight Mahayana Precepts.  The 15th of every month is Precepts Day, when Kadampa practitioners around the world typically take and observe the Precepts.

The actual Mahayana precept we take on precepts days is to abandon all sexual activity. Ordained people take a vow to not engage in sexual activity with other people, in other words they have a vow of celibacy. I am not ordained and so therefore I am certainly not qualified to definitively interpret the vows of ordained people, but I have been told an ordained person’s vows do not prohibit masturbation, though doing so is considered to weaken the vows but not actually break them. In contrast, when we take the Mahayana precept to not engage in sexual activity, it does include not masturbating.

Many people misunderstand vows of celibacy and abandoning sexual activity as saying that there is something inherently wrong with sexual activity. They argue that sexual activity is entirely normal and healthy, and such vows are misguided and guilt-inducing, and therefore harmful. In truth, there is nothing wrong with sexual activity itself. But there is something wrong with the mind of sexual attachment. Attachment is a delusion that believes happiness comes from external objects. Sexual attachment is a specific form of attachment related to sexual activities. Engaging in sexual activities without attachment is not a problem, but engaging in sexual activities with sexual attachment is a problem.

The reason why we take a vow to abstain from sexual activity on precepts days is to force us to confront the tendencies of sexual attachment within our mind. Because we have taken a vow to not engage in such activity on this day, when the temptation arises to do so within our mind, we will see the power of our sexual attachment. It will actually be painful or difficult to not follow the impulses we are feeling. All sorts of rationalizations will arise as to why it is a good thing to follow our sexual attachment. When this occurs, we can then recall the disadvantages of the mind of attachment in general, and sexual attachment in particular, and we can contemplate the benefits of having a mind that is completely free from such attachment to strengthen the desire within our mind to become free of this extremely powerful delusion. The point of taking this precept is not to say sexual activity itself is bad, but rather to create the karmic habits of not being a puppet on the strings of our sexual attachment and to instead become free from it.

Driven by sexual attachment living beings engage in all sorts of negative actions, including killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, divisive speech, and so forth. We also waste so much of our precious human life and our hard-earned resources in pursuit of satisfying our sexual attachment. Most of our most shameful behavior can be traced back to our sexual attachment. Much of the conflict we have with those we love comes from sexual attachment. This mind creates so much suffering in the world and within our own mind, yet we still continue to follow it believing happiness can be found in doing so.  Imagine how much easier our life would be if we were not a slave to our sexual attachment. These are the sorts of things we need to consider when the temptation to break our precept arises within our mind. Engaging in these contemplations gradually weakens the hold our sexual attachment has over us enabling us to become more free.

While on precepts days we vow to abstain from any sexual activity, every other day we should strive to abandon all forms of sexual misconduct.  The object of our sexual misconduct is if we have a vow of celibacy, it is any other person; if we are not celibate and we have a partner, it is anyone other than our partner; if we are not celibate and do not have a partner, it is anyone else’s partner, our own parent, a child, anyone with a vow of celibacy, pregnant women, animals, or anyone who does not consent.  As far as the intention is concerned, we must know that they are an object of sexual misconduct.  We must be determined to commit sexual misconduct.  And we must be motivated by delusion.  Usually, it is committed out of desirous attachment.  As far as the preparation is concerned, there are many ways to engage in this action but we already know all of those!  This action is complete when sexual bliss is experienced by means of the union of the two sex organs.  This last point on the action being completed sometimes gives rise to the question, “well then is it sexual misconduct if our sex organs do not come into union?”  The answer to this question is very simple:  if you think your partner would object, then it is not OK.  Full stop.

Please note, within Kadampa Buddhism, heterosexuality and homosexuality are treated in exactly the same way, there is no difference.  Please note, it also does not include masturbation.  Finally please note, this also doesn’t say it is wrong to engage in sexual activity for reasons other than procreation, it says nothing about anything wrong with birth control, etc., etc., etc. 

I have posted in the past why people engage in affairs (you can find it by doing a search of the archive).  The short version is we relate to our partner and to sexual activity in the same way we relate to any other object of attachment, like pizza.  The first few pieces are good, but the more we eat the less we enjoy it.  Other foods start to look more appealing, so we switch to eating something else.  This is the completely wrong understanding of sexual actions.  Sexual actions are opportunities to cherish others and give them happiness, not something we consume for ourselves.  We derive our enjoyment from loving others and making them happy.  Sexual activity is an opportunity to draw very close to somebody else and deepen a relationship.  If we do not get our attitude towards sexual activity correct, then even if it is not sexual misconduct, it is still not necessarily a good thing for us. 

It is not at all uncommon for one partner in a couple to have stronger sexual desire than the other, and this can be a source of frustration and a temptation to go elsewhere.  Aside from the fact that there are other means to relieve oneself, we should view these gaps in sexual desire as emanated by Dorje Shugden to give us an opportunity to bring our sexual attachment a bit more under control.  In this sense, it is a similitude of the ordination vows of celibacy.  We are essentially saying we will be celibate with everybody except our partner.  Bringing our sexual attachment under control is not easy, but it is still necessary.  Buddha said the three biggest chains holding us in samsara are sex, drugs and rock n’ roll (well, those weren’t his exact words, but the meaning was the same).  If we do not bring our sexual attachment under control, it will be very difficult to escape from samsara.  So from this perspective, the difference between an ordained person and a lay person in a committed relationship is not that different.  We have much we can learn from each other.

If we have strong sexual attachment, we can pursue a multi-prong strategy.  First, we should read Chapter 8 in Meaningful to Behold again and again to help us reduce our exaggerated notions of the attractiveness of another human body.  I love breasts, I will admit it, but if we check they are just bags of fat.  Second, as best we can, we should avoid things that fuel the fire, such as pornography, etc.  But the reality is sexual imagery is omni-present in our society, so there is no avoiding it.  But there is a difference between encountering it as we go about our life and seeking it out compulsively. 

Third, and this is the most important, we need to get to the point where we want to get out of samsara more than we want its pleasures.  We are desire realm beings, which means we have no choice but to pursue our desires.  If in our heart, our desire is still dominated by sexual attachment, if we try to force ourselves to avoid making contact, etc., then all we will do is just repress the desires.  They will build up, and eventually we will give in and do something we subsequently regret.  This is not Dharma practice.  Dharma practice is a very active process of picking apart and reducing our desirous attachment primarily by (1) reducing our exaggerated attitudes down to something in line with the underlying reality of what is actually there, and (2) considering the disadvantages of following the delusion. 

There are few delusions that create more problems for living beings than sexual attachment.  Just open any newspaper or consider your own life for more than 3 seconds and you will have plenty of material to work with.  At the same time, we need to consider the advantages of not following the delusion.  Every time a delusion arises but we choose to not follow it understanding it to be deceptive, we are engaging in the practice of moral discipline.  Each action of moral discipline creates the cause for a higher rebirth.  So quite literally, if in a given 5-minute period we successfully see through the lies of our sexual attachment and not follow it, say 20 times, then we just created 20 causes for 20 future higher rebirths.  What will bring more happiness, five minutes of some porn video or an entire lifetime in the upper realms?  Are we ready to sacrifice one for the other?  If so, which one will we sacrifice?  If we value the happiness of our future lives as much as we value our present happiness (the definition of a spiritual being) then the choice becomes obvious. 

There is much more that can be said, but I will stop here. 

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Don’t get it wrong.

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Do not misinterpret. 

We should avoid six mistaken attitudes:  wrong patience, wrong aspiration, wrong experience, wrong compassion, wrong benefit, and wrong rejoicing.

Wrong patience.  Wrong patience is patience towards our delusions.  Geshe-la says we should develop the wish to harm our delusions, we should have the wish to permanently eradicate the entire species of our delusions.  This is not a negative mind, it is a wisdom mind.  But it feels quite different than anger.  Anger is directed against living beings and leaves our mind feeling agitated, the wish to eradicate our delusions is directed against our delusions and leaves our mind feeling clear and free.  While it is true we should never be patient with our delusions, allowing them to fester or grow serendipitously within our mind, we must be patient with ourselves still being a deluded being.  A lot of Dharma practitioners know that delusions are our real enemies, but are still unable to prevent delusions from arising within their mind.  They then feel all guilty or neurotic about the fact that delusions are arising.  The typical response is to then repress them, driving them deeper within the mind.  We need to honestly acknowledge and accept that we are still a deluded being, but we never accept the validity of the delusions themselves.  To reuse the spam analogy, we accept the fact that spam will still appear in our inbox and there is nothing we can do at present to stop it completely, but we are never fooled by any of it.

Wrong aspiration.  Wrong aspiration is wanting to emulate people who are concerned exclusively with things of this life because they are rich and powerful and not wanting to emulate a sincere Dharma practitioner, even if they are poor and ugly.  There is nothing wrong with aspiring to have wealth, power, a good reputation and so forth if our reason for wanting these things is genuinely so that we can use them to cause the Dharma to better flourish.  But there is something wrong with wanting these things, viewing them as in and of themselves causes of happiness.  Our entire society is built around wishing to be like the rich, powerful, and famous.  The entire economy is built around cultivating this wish in people.  To what end?  People are no more happier than they were in the past, in fact we can argue that people are less happy now than ever before.  Externally, things in the world have never been better; internally, all the trend lines point towards entering a darker age.  I try think, “by keeping the wish to practice the Dharma alive in my mind, I keep that wish alive within my world.  If I never let go of this wish, I will eventually attain enlightenment and be able to, slowly but surely, lead all other beings to the same state.  If I allow this wish to go out in my own mind, then my entire world will be plunged into darkness.  Why?  Because it is all my karmic dream.” 

Wrong experience.  This is setting aside the nectar-like happiness of Dharma in favor of following worldly experiences and pleasures.  Every moment of every day we have a choice:  do we work to harvest good results now or do we work to plant good seeds for the future.  We want to experience pleasant things now because we still believe that samsara can offer us some happiness.  But it always leaves us feeling dissatisfied, we never feel like we reach the end of the rainbow.  The truth is this:  by completely forgetting about results in this life and focusing 100% of our attention on planting good causes, we not only lay the seeds for our future happiness, but we also come to enjoy every moment of our present life.  If we pursue happiness in this one life, we never find it in this life and we arrive at our future lives empty handed.  If instead we work exclusively for our future lives, we not only enter our future lives rich in merit, we also are able to be happy all the time in this life.  This is the experience of everyone who has actually done so.  We need not fear nor doubt this.

Wrong compassion.  This is compassion for Buddhas and not for suffering worldly beings.  When I first learned this precept, it was at the time when people were still confused about the proper view to have with regards to their resident teachers.  We thought we were supposed to view them as Buddhas, and so didn’t know how to respond or view them when suffering seemed to befall them.  In the early 2000s, though, Geshe-la clarified that we should view our teachers as Sangha jewels.  They are practitioners, just like us, striving their best to tame their wild minds.  The only difference is they may have been doing so for longer and therefore have some useful experience or insight to share.  When suffering seems to befall them, we can develop compassion for them and pray for them just as we would anybody else.  But what about Geshe-la?  Should we develop compassion for him?  The answer is it depends entirely on our view of him.  If we see him as a kind bodhisattva working tirelessly in this world, then of course there is no problem in generating compassion for him.  If however, we see him as a Buddha, then our compassion for him is misplaced, and in fact a contradiction.  If we see him as a Buddha, then there is no basis for compassion to arise, because we understand he experiences no suffering.  If we think he is experiencing suffering, then it means we don’t really see him as a Buddha.  So what should we think if we view him as a Buddha but he nonetheless appears to be suffering.  First, we can view such an appearance as him taking on the suffering of others and it ripening on him so that others are free from it.  This is no different than the Christian view of the Passion of Christ.  Second, we can use this appearance to generate compassion for all the beings in this world.  Geshe-la dying is a loss of cosmic proportions for all the people in this world.  The karma for him to appear directly will have exhausted itself, and so the beings of this world will no longer be able to directly receive his help and advice.  Compassion for all living beings  generated on this basis cultivates within us a burning desire to request the turning of the wheel of Dharma.  This request then creates the causes for new emanation bodies to appear in this world again and again for as long as samsara exists. 

Wrong benefit.  This is trying to help others, but in reality making their situation worse.  For example, helping someone commit a non-virtuous action is wrong benefit.  A lot of people mistakenly think cherishing others means giving them whatever they want or helping them, even when their wishes are wrong.  In reality, our love for others actually prevents us from “helping” others in this way because we know that doing so actually hurts them.  It is because we love them that we refuse to help them harm themselves.  It is this love infused with wisdom that gives the bodhisattva the necessary strength and backbone to say no, and to not cooperate with others’ delusions.

Wrong rejoicing.  This is rejoicing in other’s non-virtue or misfortune.  If we are honest, it is quite common for us to be happy when somebody who causes harm to others themselves experiences misfortune.  How many people rejoiced in Osama Bin Laden being killed?  We should not rejoice in him being killed, but we can rejoice in the fact that those who he would have later killed will now be safe.  There is a difference.  Likewise, our entire culture is built around the celebration of violence.  Our movies, our sports, our video games are all centered around rejoicing in non-virtue.  It is very hard to not fall into a similar mindset.  Venerable Tharchin says that when we rejoice in non-virtue, karmically speaking, it is no different than ourselves engaging in that non-virtue.  This is extremely dangerous, so we must be careful.  This does not mean we shouldn’t go to the movies, watch sports, or play computer games, but it does mean we need to be mindful that when we engage in these leisure activities we are not inadvertently digging our own karmic grave.