Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Are We Willing to Let Go of Our Sexual Attachment?

As bodhisattva’s we need to be particularly careful, don’t we?  Attachment creates the causes to be separated from the objects of our attachment.  We are, in many ways, the connection between the living beings in our life and the Dharma.  They don’t really have other connections to the Dharma other than through us.  If we mess up our relationship with them by generating sexual attachment for them, and it then creeps them out or we destroy our special spiritual relationship with the person, we are – in effect – destroying their spiritual life.  If we allow attachment to arise within our mind, we are creating the causes for this person to be separated from us, and therefore separated from all the Buddhas.  It’s bad enough that we are willing to risk our own spiritual life for the sake of a few moments of sexual pleasure, but are we willing to throw away their spiritual life for the sake of our own selfish sexual purposes?  Dharma teachers need to be especially careful because if they are doing this sort of thing towards our students, then people will lose faith in us and lose faith in the Dharma.  Again, we have seen this story many times, even in our own tradition.

(8.41) Although we engage in harmful actions
And even sacrifice all our wealth for them,
What is the real nature of these bodies
That we like so much to embrace?

(8.42) They are nothing other than skeletons
That are neither autonomous nor inherently existent.
Rather than being so desirous and attached to them,
Why do I not strive to pass beyond sorrow instead?

At least in the beginning, and especially when we are young, we go through great lengths and terrible expense all with the goal of hopefully being able to engage in sexual embrace with the other person.  Think of how much mental anguish, how much time, how much money, and for what?  The pleasure of it hardly lasts long, and then there are many problems we encounter afterwards.  Even putting spiritual considerations aside, we have to ask ourselves the question:  is it really worth it?  Is the reward worth the cost?  When looked at objectively, it hardly seems to.

But as Dharma practitioners, we have to ask ourselves the question, are we willing to let go of our sexual attachment for the sake of liberation and enlightenment?  We immediately go to “we don’t have to, we have tantra!”  But that is wrong.  Even tantric bodhisattvas must overcome all of their sexual attachment.  We need to leave it all behind.  Are we willing for forever forswear sexual attachment?  Is that a prices we are willing to pay for spiritual progress?  For many people, the answer is no.  But think about just how insane that is.  We are willing to forsake the eternal bliss of liberation and enlightenment for a few moments of sexual pleasure.  It’s ridiculous! 

4 thoughts on “Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Are We Willing to Let Go of Our Sexual Attachment?

  1. This was the exact support that I needed!
    I just took myself off a dating website. It was such a waste of time searching and not finding “love”!!! It was completely delusional!!
    The positive thing that came out of it is that in my previous lives I’ve coveted, lied, sexual misconduct, the list goes on!!! A mirror, a reflection of my karmic appearances.
    Wow! We’re so so fortunate!!

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