To abandon lying

The objects of lying are mostly included within the eight:  what is seen, what is heard, what is experienced, what is known; and what is not seen, what is not heard, what is not experienced, and what is not known. The intention requires that we must know we are lying, unintentionally providing mistaken information is not lying.  We must be determined to lie, and we must be motivated by delusion.  Lies can sometimes take the form of non-verbal actions such as making physical gestures, by writing, or even by remaining silent.  The action of lying is complete when the person to whom the lie is directed has understood our meaning and believes what we have said or indicated.  If the other person does not understand, then our action is not complete.

Of all the Pratimoksha downfalls, I think this one is our most frequent.  Most of us lie all of the time, directly or indirectly, in big and in subtle ways.  A very fun way of seeing this is to rent the movie Liar Liar with Jim Carey.  In the movie, I can’t remember why, but he has to always tell the exact truth.  This helps show us the many different ways we lie throughout our day because we see how we would likely lie in those situations.  In a similar way, it is a very useful exercise to at least once a month take an entire day to focus on just this one aspect of our practice of moral discipline.  Make a concerted effort to pay attention that you never mislead people, even slightly, and like Jim Carey you have to always tell the truth no matter what the consequences.

Will this get us into trouble with others when they hear what we really think?  Yes, it will.  So we might say, “then wouldn’t it be better to not say anything to them so as to not upset them?”  In the short run, that might be true, but that is not a good enough answer.  The correct answer is we need to change what we think about others so that we can tell everyone what we really think, and instead of that making them upset it makes them feel loved and cared for.  We can always tell the truth if we only have loving kindness in our heart. 

I think it is also useful to make a distinction between lying and speaking non-truths.  The difference usually turns around whether there is delusion present in our mind or not.  Not telling your kids what you got them for Christmas, or even telling them something that is not true, is not lying.  Failing to mention that you are going to the Dharma center or to a festival to your relative who thinks you have joined some cult and you know saying something would just upset them is not lying, it is being skillful.  Ultimately, there is no objective truth, so the question arises what then is a valid basis for establishing the truth.  Geshe-la, Venerable Tharchin and Gen-la Losang all say (in one manner or another) that “what is true or not true is not the point, what matters is what is most beneficial to believe.”  For example, we might say strongly believing we are the deity or that we have taken on all of the suffering or living beings or that we have purified all of our negative karma are lies because they are not true.  This is not the point.  The point is what is most beneficial to believe.  Venerable Tharchin explains that from a Dharma point of view, what establishes what is true is “what is most beneficial to believe.”  So if it is beneficial to believe something, it is truth.  It may not be objectively true, but it is a belief that moves in the direction of ultimate truth.  In other words, believing any idea that takes us in the direction of ultimate truth can be established as “truth,” and so saying or thinking it is not lying.  Helping others believe these things is not lying, it is wise compassion. 

But if we are misleading others for selfish reasons, or out of anger, fear or attachment, then there is no doubt we are lying.  We need to know the difference.

To abandon sexual misconduct

For this vow, the object of our sexual misconduct is if we have a vow of celibacy, it is any other person; if we are not celibate and we have a partner, it is anyone other than our partner; if we are not celibate and do not have a partner, it is anyone else’s partner, our own parent, a child, anyone with a vow of celibacy, pregnant women, animals, or anyone who does not consent.  As far as the intention is concerned, we must know that they are an object of sexual misconduct.  We must be determined to commit sexual misconduct.  And we must be motivated by delusion.  Usually it is committed out of desirous attachment.  As far as the preparation is concerned, there are many ways to engage in this action but we already know all of those!  This action is complete when sexual bliss is experienced by means of the union of the two sex organs.  This last point on the action being completed sometimes gives rise to the question, “well then is it sexual misconduct if our sex organs do not come into union?”  The answer to this question is very simple:  if you think your partner would object, then it is not OK.  Full stop.

Please note, within Kadampa Buddhism, heterosexuality and homosexuality are treated in exactly the same way, there is no difference.  Please note, it also does not include masturbation (though for ordained people, this does weaken their vows, though it doesn’t break them).  Finally please note, this also doesn’t say it is wrong to engage in sexual activity for reasons other than procreation, it says nothing about anything wrong with birth control, etc., etc., etc. 

I have posted in the past why people engage in affairs (you can find it by doing a search of the archive).  The short version is we relate to our partner and to sexual activity in the same way we relate to any other object of attachment, like pizza.  The first few pieces are good, but the more we eat the less we enjoy it.  Other foods start to look more appealing, so we switch to eating something else.  This is the completely wrong understanding of sexual actions.  Sexual actions are opportunities to cherish others and give them happiness, not something we consume for ourselves.  We derive our enjoyment from loving others and making them happy.  Sexual activity is an opportunity to draw very close to somebody else and deepen a relationship.  If we don’t get our attitude towards sexual activity correct, then even if it is not sexual misconduct, it is still not necessarily a good thing for us. 

It is not at all uncommon for one partner in a couple to have stronger sexual desire than the other, and this can be a source of frustration and a temptation to go elsewhere.  Aside from the fact that there are other means to relieve oneself, we should view these gaps in sexual desire as emanated by Dorje Shugden to give us an opportunity to bring our sexual attachment under a bit more control.  In this sense, it is a similitude of the ordination vows of celibacy.  We are essentially saying we will be celibate with everybody except our partner.  Bringing our sexual attachment under control is not easy, but it is still necessary.  Buddha said the three biggest chains holding us in samsara are sex, drugs and rock n’ roll (well, those weren’t his exact words, but the meaning was the same).  If we don’t bring our sexual attachment under control, it will be very difficult to escape from samsara.  So from this perspective, the difference between an ordained person and a lay person in a committed relationship is not that different.  We have much we can learn from each other.

If we have strong sexual attachment, we can pursue a multi-prong strategy.  First, we should read Chapter 8 in Meaningful to Behold again and again to help us reduce our exaggerated notions of the attractiveness of another human body.  I love breasts, I will admit it, but if we check they are just bags of fat.  Second, as best we can, we should avoid things that fuel the fire, such as pornography, etc.  But the reality is sexual imagery is omni-present in our society, so there is no avoiding it.  But there is a difference between encountering it as we go about our life and seeking it out compulsively. 

Third, and this is the most important, we need to get to the point where we want to get out of samsara more than we want its pleasures.  We are desire realm beings, which means we have no choice but to pursue our desires.  If in our heart, our desire is still dominated by sexual attachment, if we try to force ourselves to avoid making contact, etc., then all we will do is just repress the desires.  They will build up, and eventually we will give in and do something we subsequently regret.  This is not Dharma practice.  Dharma practice is a very active process of picking apart and reducing our desirous attachment primarily by (1) reducing our exaggerated attitudes down to something in line with the underlying reality of what is actually there, and (2) considering the disadvantages of following the delusion.  There are few delusions that create more problems for living beings than sexual attachment.  Just open any newspaper or consider your own life for more than 3 seconds and you will have plenty of material to work with.  At the same time, we need to consider the advantages of not following the delusion.  Every time a delusion arises but we choose to not follow it understanding it to be deceptive, we are engaging in the practice of moral discipline.  Each action of moral discipline creates the cause for a higher rebirth.  So quite literally, if in a given 5 minute period we successfully see through the lies of our sexual attachment and not follow it, say 20 times, then we just created 20 causes for 20 future higher rebirths.  What will bring more happiness, five minutes of some porn video or an entire life time in the upper realms?  Are we ready to sacrifice one for the other?  If so, which one will we sacrifice?  If we value the happiness of our future lives as much as we value our present happiness (the definition of a spiritual being) then the choice becomes obvious. 

To abandon killing. 

Geshe-la explains the object of killing is any other being from the smallest insect to a Buddha.  As explained above, four factors must be present.  First, for our intention, we must have correct identification of the person we intend to kill.  We also need a determination to kill the person we have correctly identified.  Killing by accident is not a complete action.  Our mind must also be influenced by delusion, specifically anger, attachment, or ignorance.  It is possible to kill out of compassion to save the lives of others, but this requires great wisdom and courage.  Killing out of compassion is not a downfall, since compassion is not a delusion.  The action also requires preparation, namely we prepare the means to engage in the action.  This includes having others do the action for you, or engaging in the action as a group.  Finally, it requires the completion – the action must be completed, the person actually is killed.

The reality is we are killing all of the time.  Every time we scratch our arm, we are no doubt killing thousands of tiny bacteria or microbes.  Even if we don’t eat meat, we are indirectly killing thousands who died in the rice paddies or to the pesticides sprayed on our food.  Samsara is a slaughterhouse, and everything we do essentially kills.  This doesn’t mean we are doomed and it also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t bother trying to not kill because it is unavoidable.  What it means is we need to do our best to lead as low impact of a life as we can.  We should work gradually to kill less and less while working within our capacity and the karmic conditions we find ourselves in.

To abandon stealing. 

The object of stealing is anything that someone else regards as their own.  This includes other living beings.  If we take something that no one claims to possess, the action of stealing is not complete.  Like with killing, the intention must include a correct identification of the object of stealing, a determination to steal, and our mind must be influenced by delusion, usually desirous attachment, but sometimes out of hatred of wishing to harm our enemy.  It can also sometimes be out of ignorance thinking their stealing is justified such as not paying taxes or fines, or stealing from our employer, etc.  Stealing also requires preparation.  It may be done secretly or openly, using methods such as bribery, blackmail, or emotional manipulation.  Finally, it must also include completion.  The action is complete when we think to ourself ‘this object is now mine.’

In modern life we have countless opportunities to steal and we often take advantage of most of them.  Common examples include not giving money back when we have been given too much change at the store, accidentally walking out with some good we didn’t purchase and not making an effort to go back and pay for it, stealing work supplies from work for our personal use, stealing our employers time by doing personal things on company time beyond what is conventionally acceptable in your work place (most work environments allow you a limited amount of personal administrative time.  The point is don’t go beyond what is intended by your employer).  Another very common form of stealing is lying on our taxes so that we pay less.  We come up with all sorts of justifications for why this is OK, but it is still stealing.  Stealing can also include saying certain clever things to cause something to come to us when it would otherwise normally go to somebody else.  One of the most common forms of stealing these days is downloading pirated music or videos, or copying and using software we didn’t pay for.  Again, our rationalizations for such behavior know no limits, but it is still stealing.  The test for whether we are stealing or not is very simple:  if we asked the other person would they say its legitimately ours?  If not, it was stealing.

Stealing is incredibly short-sighted.  Anybody who feels tempted to steal should take a few hours driving through a really poor neighborhood or they should go visit a very poor country or watch a documentary on global poverty.  You can find plenty of material just on YouTube.  When we see these things, we should remind ourselves that this is our future if we steal.  When we steal we create the causes to have nothing in the future.  Giving is the cause of wealth, taking is the cause of poverty.  It is as simple as that.  Why are Bill Gates and Warren Buffet so rich?  Because they have the mental habits on their mind to give away everything.  Because they did this in the past, they become incredibly rich in this life.  Because they are again giving away all of their wealth, in future lives they will again be incredibly rich.  Just as they are external philanthropists, a Bodhisattva is an inner philanthropist.  We seek vast inner wealth so that we can have even more to give away. 

The Pratimoksha vows are the vows of individual liberation.  Just as the refuge vows primarily function to maintain an uninterrupted continuum of our Buddhist practice between now and our eventual enlightenment, so too training in the Pratimoksha vows primarily functions to maintain an uninterrupted continuum of our intermediate scope practice between now and our eventual enlightenment.  This is important because there are many spiritual paths in the world which will help us attain a better rebirth in samsara, but there are few paths indeed which will help us actually get out of samsara.  In fact, we can say only those paths which teach the Madhyamika Prasangika view of emptiness will actually lead to liberation from samsara as defined by the Buddhist path.  This is not to say attaining a better rebirth within samsara is not good, rather it says it is just not good enough. 

What does it mean to escape from samsara?  To answer this question, we need to know what is samsara.  Samsara is uncontrolled rebirth into contaminated aggregates.  Humans suffer from human suffering because they uncontrolledly project their I onto human aggregates of body and mind.  Animals suffer from animal suffering because they uncontrolledly impute their I onto an animal’s body and mind.  The same is true for hungry spirits, hell beings, demi-gods and gods.  To escape from samsara is to gain control over what we impute our I onto.  When we have such control, instead of uncontrolledly imputing it onto the body and mind of a samsaric being, we controlledly impute it onto the body and of a liberated or enlightened being.  When we can do this, we will have become ourselves a liberated or enlightened being.

At a practical level, we can say our samsara is our delusions and our dying body.  Our delusions and our dying body create all sorts of problems for us that we are forced to endure.  If we can learn to break our identification with our delusions and our body, then what happens to them will not be happening to us.

At a more profound level, samsara can best be thought of as us being trapped in an uncontrolled dream.  Right now, our dream is not too bad!  We are human, have all our faculties, sufficient resources, pleasant surroundings, etc.  But this will not last.  We know this because the karma giving rise to such appearances is quickly exhausting itself and we are doing nothing to create more karma for similar lives.  Once we have burned up our merit giving rise to this particular pleasant dream, it will revert to something much more awful.  Once that happens, it will be almost impossible to get back to the good dream, like the sea turtle trying to get its head through that golden yoke.  It is said that it is easier to attain enlightenment (wake up from the karmic dream) once we have become human than it is to become human again after we have fallen into a lower state. 

I once had a dream where I was being chased by some monsters.  They trapped me and there was no escape.  But then I realized I was dreaming and I requested blessings to be able to wake up.  I then did, and I escaped the monsters.  There was no escape in the dream, but there was an escape by waking up.  It is exactly the same with samsara.  We can travel anywhere within samsara, and we will find no escape.  There is no hiding within samsara from its inevitable sufferings.  The only way to escape them is to wake up.  Waking up is not easy.  It runs counter to almost all of the mental habits we have built up since beginningless time.  But if we don’t encounter a path that leads to us waking up, then waking up is actually impossible.  We will remain trapped forever.  So our choice is rather stark:  either we train in our Pratimoksha vows and be guaranteed to eventually awake or we don’t and remain trapped forever.  There is, unfortunately, no middle ground.

This does not mean we need to keep them all perfectly.  Rather, it means we need to never abandon the intention to keep trying to do a little bit better every day.  If we maintain this intention, and carry it with us into our death, we will refind the path again in our next life.  Some people have a mistaken understanding that somehow the Pratimoksha vows are different than the other vows.  That somehow these vows are black and white, on or off, and that we don’t just maintain our intention to do our best.  This may be true for ordained Sangha, but even there there are many shades of gray.   But for lay practitioners, we should consider such vows like we do any other.  We do our best to do a little bit better every day.  It is better to keep them imperfectly and be happy about our training than to expect perfection, fall short and then do nothing. 

At a very technical level, the Pratimoksha vows are broken when four factors are present:  The object, the intention, the preparation, and the completion.  A full intention requires three factors to be present:  correct discrimination, determination, and delusion.  To be authentic Pratimoksha vows they must be taken with at least a motivation of renunciation.

If we have not yet received Pratimoksha vows, we should request our local teacher to grant them and to provide a commentary.  In the posts that follow, I will explain each lay Pratimoksha vow in turn.

To perform every action with complete trust in the Three Jewels. 

We should rely upon the Three Jewels in everything we do.  In this way all our actions will be successful.  We should always try to receive the blessings of the Three Jewels by making offerings and requests.  In the last few months, I have discussed extensively how we rely upon the guru’s mind alone for all that we do.  I encourage you to read the different special series I have done which explain this.  But the short version is this:  if you have a choice of a hammer or a nail gun, which will you choose?  If you have a choice of a soap box derby car or a Ferrari, which would you choose?  In the same way, if you have a choice of having your ordinary body, speech and mind being the source of all of your actions or the enlightened body, speech and mind of your Spiritual Guide being the source of all of your actions, which would you choose?  Most of us simply don’t realize we can become an instrument of the holy beings in this world, and those that do know this don’t know how to become one.  But once we know it is possible and we know how to do it, our life takes on a whole new purpose.  We come to have one goal alone:  to rely upon the three jewels for all that we do.

Omniscient beings know how to do our jobs better than we do, they know how to parent better than we do, they know how to get along with others better than we do, they know what paths to follow and which ones to abandon better than we do, they speak kinder, think wiser and act better than we do.  They even brush our teeth better than we do!  Frankly, there is nothing positive we do better than they do.  So why do we foolishly do things ourselves when we can learn to let them do everything through us. 

Never to forsake the Three Jewels, even at the cost of our life, or as a joke. 

We should never abandon the three Jewels under any circumstances.  What does it mean to abandon the three jewels?  It does not mean to forget about them.  This happens all of the time.  Rather, it means to come to the conclusion that they are wrong.  This can take any number of forms, such as us concluding they are wrong about the nature of our problem, or they are wrong about delusions being deceptive, or they are wrong about non-virtuous actions are to be avoided, or they are wrong about the need to escape from samsara, or they are wrong about why it is better to cherish and love others, or they are wrong about the ultimate meaning of human life, or they are wrong about the ultimate nature of reality.  If we come to any of these conclusions, then this would be forsaking the three jewels. 

The reality is there are very few people who maintain a constancy in their Dharma practice throughout their life.  There are many people who come into the Dharma, have a great few years, and then move on to the next thing.  It is not bad that this happens.  It is good that they have a few years with the Dharma and leave happy.  The Dharma remains with them, influencing their behavior and thoughts in a myriad of ways, and then in their next life they stay a bit longer.  One of the biggest mistakes Dharma teachers and Dharma centers make is they become attached to people coming to all of the classes and staying at the center.  Attachment creates the causes to be separated from the objects of our attachment.  So our attachment to people coming actually creates the karmic causes to destroy the spiritual life of the other person.  People are not stupid.  They know when they are being emotionally manipulated with the Dharma to get them to do things they otherwise wouldn’t do.  In the short-run, this may work; but over time they start to no longer believe us that we are just trying to help them (they think we are trying to use them for our own purposes), they lose faith and they move on. 

Any amount of Dharma is a good thing.  So let people partake of what they wish, and move on when they wish.  The most important thing is to help them be happy with whatever they do do, and not feel judged for all the things they don’t do.  Even if people move on in their lives and stop coming, if we can succeed in them leaving with a happy, no regrets mind then the Dharma will remain with them their whole life.  If instead, we unskillfully say they are killing their spiritual life and blah blah blah, making them feel guilty or bad, then all that they gained from their time with us will be lost as they reject everything.  We shouldn’t project an all or nothing attitude, rather we should project a “take freely what you wish and enjoy” attitude.  Geshe-la apparently once asked, “who is more important, those who come to the center and stay or those who come to the center and leave.”  Most of us, of course, would say those who come to the center and stay.  This is where we focus our energies.  But Geshe-la said, no, it is those who come to the center and leave who are more important.  Why?  He said because “there are more of them.”  Gen-la Losang said those who come to the center and leave with a happy mind about their experience in this life are those that come to the center and stay in their next life.  So the most important thing is when people leave, that they have a happy mind about their experience.

Some people will stay for a few classes, some will stay for a few years and some will stay their whole life.  Some will only go to festivals, some will just read the books, some will just come for the tea and cookies.  Some will be serious about their meditation practice, some will just be looking for some friends.  It’s all good and we should welcome all of it.  If we don’t, then we are forsaking the Dharma.

With compassion, always to encourage others to go for refuge. 

We should do this skillfully by helping those who are interested to develop the causes of going for refuge, namely fear of suffering and faith in the Three Jewels.  Geshe-la says by tactfully (without being arrogant or impatient) explaining the samsaric situation we are in, the other person will begin to lose his or her complacency, and will naturally want to find out what can be done.  At this point we explain the objects of refuge and how we go for refuge.  At least we should give proper advice to those who are unhappy, and help them to solve their problems by means of Dharma. 

But we need to be careful here.  The meaning is not for us to get on our soap box, go down to the train station and start shouting the good news for all to hear!  Generally speaking, we don’t offer advice to people unless they ask us for it and we are sufficiently confident that they are open to hearing what we have to say.  Otherwise, it is usually better to say nothing.  When we offer people unsolicited advice, they usually react in the same way we do:  we get defensive and we reject what they are saying. 

At a practical level, unless we are talking to other Dharma practitioners, we need to learn how to express Dharma ideas with non-Dharma words.  If people feel like we are some religious zealot or weirdo, we will not inspire others to enter the path.  They will think to become Buddhist means to start acting all strange.  The most important thing to do when talking to others is to help them make the distinction between their outer problem and their inner problem.  If they see that distinction, then it becomes natural to seek out different solutions for different problems.  We can then offer different ways of looking at the situation.  99% of the time, our perspective is always the same:  we explain, “yeah, externally that sucks.  But I guess it gives you a chance to work on improving your (then insert human quality, like patience, love, compassion, whatever). 

Gen Losang once told the story of his Dad.  Apparently his Dad used to work in the human resources department of some giant corporation.  And his job was to go mediate disputes that arose among the employees.  So he would go talk to all of the people involved and hear what was going on.  But Losang’s Dad apparently was incapable of seeing things as a “problem.”  He always saw how the same set of facts was actually an opportunity for something else that everybody wanted.  So when he would talk to people, he would just explain how he saw it.  He didn’t impose his view on others, he just said how he saw things.  When people saw how the situation could be viewed differently and in a more healthy and indeed productive way, then they naturally adopted that view and the “problem” went away.  He was apparently quite good at this.

In exactly the same way, this is our job as Kadampas in the modern world.  For us, we just don’t see things as problems, so when people talk to us, we just explain how we see it or how we would relate to the situation.  We don’t force our view on others, we just share our perspective and let others do with it what they wish. 

Every day I make three requests to Dorje Shugden:  “(1) Please arrange everything so that it is perfect for everyone’s swiftest possible enlightenment, (2) please bless me with the wisdom to realize how whatever happens is perfect for everyone, and (3) please arrange the opportunities for me to share my perspective with others.”  These three requests are really all we need to be able to become the magical crystal that heals the world.  With the first request, we can know for a fact that whatever happens to anybody is in fact absolutely perfect for them.  We might not know how or why this is true, but we know it is true.  Accepting things are perfect actually opens our mind to receive wisdom blessings to understand/realize how they are perfect.  When we still grasp at things as being imperfect, our mind remains closed to such blessings.  With the second request, we create the causes to receive the actual blessings where we, from our side, see and understand how everything is in fact perfect for each person.  With the third request, Dorje Shugen will arrange the outer and inner conditions, both in our mind and in their mind, so that we can share our perspective with others when they are ready to hear it.  If somebody comes to us for help and we don’t know what to say, we should quickly mentally make these three requests while the person is talking.  Mentally fill the universe with mandala offerings requesting wisdom blessings.  Generate a mind of faith and then get out of the way and let your guru speak through you to help the other person.  

To go for refuge at least three times during the day and three times during the night, remembering the benefits of going for refuge. 

We should try to go for refuge once every four hours. Geshe-la says we should be like a businessman who never forgets his projects even while he is relaxing.

In the beginning, we practice this usually in conjunction with our offering what we eat.  We eat or drink many times a day, so take advantage of those times to fulfill this commitment.  While it would be ideal to wake up in the middle of the night and recall the benefits of refuge, the reality would be quite difficult for most of us.  But there are things we can do for the night.  We all go through REM cycles, and at some point in the night we either roll over or get up to go to the bathroom.  When we do this, we can briefly recall our refuge and then go back to bed.  Then it becomes something quite natural, not something rigid like setting our alarm clock for every four hours.  When my kids were very little and we had to feed them in the night, I would remember my refuge as I was feeding them their bottle. 

The real meaning of this vow is we need to remember our practice day and night, all of the time.  If we check, we will see we spend all day problem solving.  We have no trouble remembering to problem solve, our difficulty is remembering what our problem is.  Again, what enables us to do this is maintaining a very clear wisdom understanding of the difference between out outer and inner problems.  When we think our problem is the outer problem, we spend all of our mental energy planning how to solve our outer problem and we just assume this will take care of our inner problem.  But when we maintain a constant awareness of the distinction between these two types of problem, then we will start investing time and energy into solving our problem (as well as the outer problem).  Then, we will have no difficulty maintaining this commitment.

To go for refuge to the Three Jewels again and again, remembering their good qualities and the differences between them. 

This vow means remembering these qualities we should continuously go for refuge.  Dharma is like a boat that can carry us across the ocean of samsara.  Buddha is like the skilful navigator of the boat.  Sangha are like the crew.

The most important thing to be clear about is the function of each of the three jewels.  We can only appreciate their function if we have a clear understanding of our problem.  At a very basic level, our problem is our mind.  Because our mind is overrun with delusion and negativity, we create all sorts of problems for ourselves.  Ultimately, there are no problems other than the ones we create with our mind.  Even physically, there are just a bunch of atoms swirling around.  It is our mind that imputes problem onto the particular combination of atoms, and on the basis of that mental projection we suffer.  There are many outer problems that require all sorts of outer solutions, but our problem is an internal problem – our mind.  If we can learn to relate to everything that arises with a peaceful and virtuous mind, then we will be happy all of the time regardless of what disaster is unfolding around us.  We change our mind by cultivating new habits of mind – instead of deluded habits of mind we cultivate wisdom and virtuous habits of mind.  Dharma instructions explain to us how to do this, and the actual new cultivated habits within our mind are our actual Dharma jewels within our mind.  Buddha helps us by explaining to us what we need to do (his instructions) and by bestowing blessings.  Blessings function to activate virtuous karmic tendencies on our mind which make it easier for us to generate virtue.

In many ways, Sangha is the most overlooked of the three jewels, yet from a practical point of view it is our most important.  If we enmesh ourselves in a web of Sangha friendships, then we will become socialized into responding to whatever arises with the Dharma.  We receive most of our teachings from Sangha (our spiritual teachers) and they are our companions along the path.  They encourage us, inspire us, and support us when we need it. 

To go for refuge again and again means to maintain a constant awareness of what our real problem is, and then to turn to Buddha for instructions and blessings, to our Sangha friends for inspiration and support and to the Dharma to create those new wisdom habits of mind.  These new habits are our actual protection from all suffering.

To offer the first portion of whatever we eat and drink to the Three Jewels, while remembering their kindness. 

We should first recall how all our happiness is a result of Buddha’s kindness because his compassionate actions enable us to perform virtuous actions that are the cause of our happiness.  Without Buddha we would not know the real causes of happiness, or the real causes of suffering.  He taught us perfect methods for overcoming suffering and attaining happiness.  Every favorable condition we have comes through Buddha’s blessings and our following his instructions.  Buddha attained enlightenment to benefit all living beings, and manifests even as non-Buddhists teachers, to help others.

Remembering this, every time we eat we should offer what we are eating to our Spiritual Guide at our heart.  There are many different ways of doing this, all of which are explained in Joyful Path of Good Fortune or in Guide to Dakini Land.  But the main point is to take the time to be thankful, believe your guru is at your heart, and then mentally offer the food to him.  A very powerful way of doing this is to imagine that while it may be French fries that appear to our mind, mentally we should imagine that it is by nature medicinal nectar that functions to increase our merit, heal our mind of all delusions and bestow upon us uncontaminated wisdom.  If you strongly believe this to be the case, it actually will be the case because it is a correct imagination. 

The vow here says to offer the first portion, but we should not feel limited to just the first portion.  We can offer every bite.  Of course we just do this mentally.  We don’t need to pause before every bite closing our eyes, etc.!  If we are with others and it would be strange to close our eyes and recite some prayers before we eat, then just mentally do it while stirring your food, or putting salt on, or whatever.  Externally, just be normal; but internally, understand what you are doing.  Since we eat and drink so often in the day, if we can make this our habit it will become easy to remember the Dharma throughout the day and the night.  A senior teacher once said our biggest problem is not understanding the Dharma it is remembering to practice it.  If we combine our eating with our remembering, it will quickly become a new habit.

To regard anyone who wears the robes of an ordained person as an actual Sangha Jewel. 

In general, this vow means we need to pay respect to ordained Sangha because they are keeping moral discipline, and this is something very rare and precious.  It is almost a miracle that there is such a thing as ordained Sangha in this world.  Ordination is commonly understood to be like a spiritual marriage, where the ordained person makes a life-long commitment to a certain way of life.  But it is actually much much more than this.  If we think deeply about it, ordination is the voluntary leaving behind of one’s ordinary self so that one can quite literally take rebirth as a new person, a fortunate one (Kelsang means fortunate one). 

We should not underestimate how hard it is to be ordained.  Sometimes we think, “it must be so easy for ordained people, they don’t have all the responsibilities I do and they don’t have to deal with all the obnoxious people I do.”  But this is a completely mistaken notion.  Even at a superficial level, ordained people have tremendous responsibility.  In fact, they have assumed personal responsibility to work until the end of time doing whatever it takes to free each and every living being, including ourselves.  They also have to deal with all sorts of obnoxious people, and I don’t just mean all of the people who stare at them funny when they go out in public.  I am talking about all of us! 

But at a more profound level, whether we are ordained or not, it is our mind that creates our feeling of being over-burdened with responsibility and it is our own mind that creates all of these “obnoxious” people.  If we have a stressed out mind, we will project that stress onto whatever is our daily life, even the least demanding one.  If we have a playful, open mind, we will project that child-like wonder onto whatever is our daily life, even the most demanding one.  If we have an obnoxious mind, we will project that obnoxiousness onto whoever we come into contact with, even if they are all prostrating at our feet.  If we have a loving mind, we will project a world filled with delightful people, even if they are constantly abusing us. 

I find it very helpful to consider the example of ex-Gen-la Samden.  The person that he was before ordination died and he was reborn as Samden Gyatso.  Through pure deeds and a sincere motivation Samden Gyatso died and became Gen Samden.  Through pure reliance and a vast motivation Gen Samden died and became Gen-la Samden.  Gen-la Samden gave some of the most powerful and pure teachings I have ever received, in particular his teachings on patient acceptance.  But how hard it must be to be a Gen-la!  Such a mind, the courageous mind to become a lineage guru dedicated to passing on the Ganden Oral Lineage to future generations, has to be one of the most daunting spiritual minds a living being can generate.  It runs directly counter to virtually every single delusion in our mind, and every day is a constant struggle to simply be such a being. 

Our delusions are very tricky.  They are extremely skilled at kidnapping our Dharma understanding and using it to rationalize behavior that is, in the end, completely at odds with the Dharma.  Some people can’t understand how somebody so realized can succumb to such base delusions, but this is only because we don’t understand the raw power of some of the deluded seeds on our mind.  Small spiritual motivations like we have kick up small deluded seeds on our mind that we struggle to work through.  Huge spiritual motivations like the mind that strives to be a Gen-la kick up huge deluded seeds on our mind that they struggle to work through.  Sometimes these seeds are so strong and so tricky that they deceive us literally to our death.  They trick us into committing spiritual suicide, often in ways we don’t even realize we are doing so.  Losing one’s ordination is literally dying.  The spiritual being that was Kelsang whomever or somebody Gyatso quite literally dies, and they are reborn an ordinary being.  Sometimes this death process can be incredibly psychologically traumatic.  To fall from being a Gen-la to being an ordinary being must be no different than falling from the highest god realm to the deepest hell while preserving complete memories of what it was like before.  The regret must be so overwhelming at times it becomes easier to live in total denial, but such denial is merely a fig leaf covering up deep inner pain.  And this for a being who has helped us all in so many ways.

Now just to be clear, I am not in any way condoning what he did.  What he did was wrong, and Geshe-la openly and unequivocally called him on his behavior.  But what I am saying is even his greatest mistake can be, for us, his greatest teaching.  This doesn’t make what he did right from the side of his action, but it does make what happened beneficial in our own mind.  In fact, we can say our viewing his action as a teaching is a compassionate act on our part because it helps us protect him from accumulating even worse negative karma by it undermining our own faith, etc.

Ordained people deserve our respect.  When we consider what they go through for us, we owe them nothing less.  I still keep a picture of Gen-la Samden on my shrine to remind me of his story.  His dramatic fall is, in my view, his most powerful teaching to us all.  The holy being that was Gen-la Samden was killed by his delusions.  He was, for me, a holy being; but he, like other holy beings before him, was killed – not by a bullet, but by something far more deadly – by delusion.  Just as we honor the memory of our fallen soldiers, so too I think it is important that we honor the memory of all the different fallen Kelsangs.  We need to understand the unique struggles of the ordained and the ex-ordained and we should thank them from the bottom of our heart because they are going through it all for us.  What kindness!

Not to harm others. 

This vow means instead to treating others badly we should try, with the best motivation, to benefit them whenever we can.  First we need to practice with respect to those close to us.  We then extend our practice to include all living beings.  It is a very odd thing of modern life that most of us are the nicest to the people we rarely see and barely know, but can be downright nasty with those whom we live with.  I point this out not to imply we should do the opposite, but rather to say a basic minimum should be we treat those we live with with the same basic courtesies we show perfect strangers.  This change alone would bring quite a revolution in our home and work life.

It is rare these days for us to physically harm others, unless it is by accident.  In modern time, our main instrument of harm is our words.  We get angry, frustrated and say all sorts of hurtful things to others.  We quite often put some people down in an effort to get others to like us.  We talk behind people’s backs or laugh when others do the same.  As a general rule, we should “never say anything bad about anyone ever.”  This is an enormously vast practice, especially in the workplace.  At home, we should principally guard against saying mean or spiteful things, or at a minimum not communicate to others that their very presence is frustrating for us. 

At work, we may be in a position of some power or authority where the decisions we make affect others.  More often than not, there is no decision we can make where somebody won’t be harmed.  All samsaric decisions necessarily involve trade-offs, and that means some people will be harmed and others will be helped.  This does not mean as Kadampas we should avoid positions of authority.  Rather, it means when we have to make decisions we should follow some basic principles.  First, we should make sure our decision does more good than it does harm taking all things into consideration.  Second, our decision should be as impartial as possible, not favoring one group over another.  Third, if some people are harmed from our decision but it is nonetheless one where the winners win more than the losers lose, there should be a way to structure some sort of compensation mechanism where the losers are compensated for their loses while still leaving enough for the winners that they are better off.  If we struggle to make difficult decisions, we should request wisdom blessings to make the best possible decision we can.

To regard all Dharma scriptures as the actual Dharma Jewel. 

This vow means since we cannot see actual Dharma Jewels with our eyes (because they are internal realizations) we need to regard Dharma texts as actual Dharma Jewels.  Actual Dharma Jewels arise in dependence upon the meaning of Dharma texts.  We need to respect every letter of the scriptures and explanations.  We need to treat them with great care and avoid walking over them or putting them in places where they might be damaged or misused.

This begins with some very basic things like keeping our Dharma books and sadhanas in a special place separate from all of our other books.  It means not putting them on the floor, etc., and instead to treat them with respect like we are holding something precious.  Over time, this practice can become quite vast.  We can view each word of a Dharma book as the actual speech of a Buddha much in the same way we see beyond the metal of a statue to imagine the living Buddha there.  When we read Dharma books, we should not think of them as inanimate words on a page, but rather as a direct telephone line to the Buddhas.  They literally speak to us through Dharma books.  The way this works is quite magical.  If you have some problem in life or conundrum to resolve, close your Dharma book, close your eyes, and then sincerely make the request, “please reveal to me the answer to this problem.”  Then, randomly open the book to some page, and it is guaranteed that the answer to your problem is on that page.  Geshe-la explained once that he blessed his books in this way where you could do this and get answers.  In particular, Joyful Path of Good Fortune is blessed in this way.  It may not be immediately obvious how what you read is the answer to your question, but that will primarily be because you are still grasping at your outer problem being your problem.  Your problem is your mind.  The answer to your problem is on the page.  Request wisdom blessings to realize how, and as you read the words imagine their meaning is penetrating deep into your mind bestowing upon you the wisdom answer to your problem.

If we are a tantric practitioner, we can train in viewing all sounds we hear as being mounted on mantras.  Even if somebody is yelling at us, internally we can view their screams as being mounted on mantras, and as the words enter our mind the mantra does as well blessing our subtle inner energy winds, healing them with the function of whatever mantra we imagine.  With training, all sounds from honking horns to the rustling of the trees in the wind will be, for us, eloquent explanations of the Dharma – personalized teachings every moment of every day.

Not to allow ourself to be influenced by people who reject Buddha’s teaching. 

This vow does not mean that we should abandon these people, merely that we should not let their views influence our mind.  Without abandoning love and consideration, we need to be vigilant and make sure that we are not being led astray by their bad habits and unsound advice.

Once again, maintaining awareness of the distinction between our outer and inner problem are our ultimate protection.  It is very rare for non-Dharma practitioners to fail to make this distinction, so their advice to us will not be the answer we need.  They may have very sound advice when it comes to how to solve the outer problem, but we should keep the counsel of the three jewels for solving our inner problem. 

It is said that about 80% of communication is non-verbal, 15% is the tone we use and only 5% the meaning of our actual words.  This is really important to keep in mind in the context of this vow.  It means 80% of how others are influencing us comes from simply how they are, what they strive for and how they behave.  We very easily become socialized into the norms and habits of those around us, for good or for ill.  If we find ourselves surrounded by people who routinely are making wrong choices, we need to be extremely vigilant to not simply not follow their advice, but to not become socialized into being just like them.  Social osmosis is probably one of the most powerful forces in the world, and is something that is largely invisible to us.  This does not mean we should avoid these people, rather we should just remain mindful of all the different ways they have the potential to influence us, both verbally and non-verbally.  When somebody verbally gives us bad advice, very often their bad advice itself can be a powerful teaching because hearing it reminds us of why it is wrong and therefore it teaches us what is right.  In the same way, if we remain mindful of our Dharma wisdom, seeing people’s wrong behavior can function for us as a powerful Dharma teaching.  With such mindfulness, we can circulate among anybody, even the most degenerate, and instead of being dragged down we will feel lifted up.

The refuge commitments lay the foundation for all the realizations of the stages of the path.  Realizing this, we should not regard them as a burden, but practice them joyfully and sincerely.  The principal function of our refuge vows is to maintain the continuum of our Buddhist path without interruption between now and our eventual enlightenment.  In other words, by training in the refuge vows we will create the karma necessary to maintain this uninterrupted continuum of our practice all the way.  It is like we enter into a karmic slip stream which carries us to our final destination. 

The second main benefit of keeping our refuge vows is we open our mind to receive the blessings and help from the three jewels.  On our own, we lack the necessary power to complete the path.  We lack not only the necessary horsepower, we lack even the gasoline.  Our effort plants the gasoline of karmic seeds on our mind, and the blessings activate these seeds and give our spiritual journey horsepower.  With them, there is nothing we can’t accomplish.  Without them, there is almost nothing we can accomplish.  Ultimately, we can learn to rely upon the three jewels for all of our actions, from giving teachings at a festival all the way to flossing our teeth.  We can eventually learn how to have our every action of body, speech and mind be the three jewels working through us.  For more on the benefits of the refuge vows, please see Joyful Path of Good Fortune.

Some people mistakenly think we only focus on our refuge vows at the beginning of our practice.  No, our refuge vows remain the foundation of all of our other practices all the way until the very end of the path.  There is never a time when we do not need to maintain this basic foundation.

The refuge vows will now be explained:

Not to go for refuge to teachers who contradict Buddha’s view or to samsaric gods. 

This vow means we should not go for ultimate refuge to anyone who contradicts Buddha’s view.  Ultimate refuge roughly means here “who has the final say.”  Throughout our lives we will be exposed to countless different ideas, each of which will have their own degree of validity.  But we consider the definitive word to be that of Buddha.  There is a good reason for this.  Only Buddha explains the radical view of the Prasangikas, which explains (in fact proves) that everything is a karmic dream.  Only this view is free from all ignorance.  Any view short of this will be contaminated, even if only marginally, with a wrong understanding and therefore will not provide us with the final word on any given subject.  This vow does not mean that we can’t still receive ordinary help for ordinary things from others, such as a lawyer or a dentist. 

Samsaric gods in this context has two meanings.  The first is literal, meaning we don’t turn to beings who themselves are still in samsara for help in getting out.  A drowning person cannot save another drowning person.  Of course we can still turn to beings within samsara for help with things in samsara, but they can’t provide us ultimate refuge for getting out.  The second meaning is metaphoric.  Our true samsaric gods that we are willing to sacrifice everything to are the eight worldly concerns.  In simple terms, this refers to attachment to pleasant feelings, praise, a good reputation, etc.  Everything we generally do in life is aimed at securing these things or freeing ourselves from their opposites.  These are the gods we follow.

We most frequently break this vow by mixing Buddha’s teachings with non-Buddhist ideas.  We can most easily keep this vow by making a clear distinction between our outer problem and our inner problem.  If our car breaks, it is not our problem, it is our car’s problem.  Our problem is the unpleasant feeling in our mind that comes from our delusions.  To fix that problem we turn to the three jewels.  As long as we make this distinction in any given situation, there is little risk of us going in the opposite direction of this vow. 

To regard any image of a Buddha as an actual Buddha. 

This vow means whenever we see a statue of Buddha we should see it as an actual Buddha, regardless of its quality of craftsmanship.  We should make offerings, prostrations and go for refuge to it.  For those with a Christian background, this vow usually raises some serious eyebrows about idolatry.  Of course it would be foolish to pray to a piece of metal.  Metal can’t do anything for us.  That is not the meaning here.  The meaning is we should not believe the ordinary appearance of seeing the metal, but instead we should “see beyond it” and imagine that there is actually a living Buddha there.  This is a correct imagination because Buddhas pervade everywhere and the ultimate nature of all things is a Buddha.  So we don’t view the metal as a Buddha, rather seeing the metal reminds us to see with our wisdom eyes a living Buddha actually sitting there.

It is a good idea to always be in the presence of a Buddha image to serve as a constant reminder.  For myself, I have on my desk at work a 3-fold picture frame that has images of my guru, yidam and protector.  When I work, I occasionally look up from my computer and see them.  At home, I have an image next to my bed, and of course there is my shrine for my daily meditations.  I knew this one woman who quite literally wall papered her entire room with different images of Buddhas!  While this may not quite be “remaining natural while changing our aspiration,” it is frankly not that bad of an idea!