Happy Tsog Day: Enlightened Party Preparation

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 21 of a 44-part series.

The Tsog Offering

If we wish to make a tsog offering to emphasize the swift attainment of the realizations of the stages of the path, we should do so after reciting the mantras.

As explained in the first post of this series, we are encouraged as part of our Highest Yoga Tantra empowerments and commitments to make a tsog offering on the two 10th days. Doing so with faith and imagination is a guaranteed method for attaining the pure land. What is a tsog offering? Essentially, it is an enlightened party in which we accumulate merit, develop close connections with the Buddhas, and create the causes to generate the qualified great bliss of completion stage.

Within the context of Offering to the Spiritual Guide, we can perform the tsog offering in a variety of different places in order to emphasize different aspects of the practice. For example, we can do so before purification practice, receiving blessings, and so forth. Here, in order to emphasize the importance of Lamrim meditation, I am explaining the tsog offering just prior to the prayer of the stages of the path in the sadhana. Wherever we do the tsog offering, we can believe that it supercharges whatever comes afterwards and our mind becomes specifically blessed to gain the realizations of what comes next in the sadhana.

The Kadampa Buddhist tradition takes the Lamrim as our main practice. Everything we do, in sutra and in tantra, are all part the Kadam Lamrim. Geshe-la explains in Mirror of Dharma that there are three different prayers of the stages of the path. The short prayer is the one in Prayers for Meditation, the middling prayer is the one from Hundreds of Deities of the Joyful Land according to Highest Yoga Tantra explained in Oral Instructions of Mahamudra, and the extensive Lamrim prayer is in Offering to the Spiritual Guide. In many ways, the extensive Lamrim prayer is the most comprehensive yet synthesized explanation of the entire New Kadampa Tradition path. Just as we are encouraged to memorize the middling prayer, so too we should strive to memorize the long Lamrim prayer.

Blessing the offering substances

OM AH HUM  (3x)

By nature exalted wisdom, having the aspect of the inner offering and the individual offering substances, and functioning as objects of enjoyment of the six senses to generate a special exalted wisdom of bliss and emptiness, inconceivable clouds of outer, inner, and secret offerings, commitment substances, and attractive offerings, cover all the ground and fill the whole of space.

EH MA HO Great manifestation of exalted wisdom.
All realms are vajra realms
And all places are great vajra palaces
Endowed with vast clouds of Samantabhadra’s offerings,
An abundance of all desired enjoyments.
All beings are actual Heroes and Heroines.
Everything is immaculately pure,
Without even the name of mistaken impure appearance.

Geshe-la explains in Joyful Path of Good Fortune that there is no difference between making offerings to a statue or making offerings to the living Buddha. The reason for this is twofold: first, both the statue and a living Buddha are equally empty, meaning they are equally mere karmic appearances of mind. Second, wherever we imagine a Buddha, a Buddha goes, so when we imagine a Buddha in the space in front of us, he is present and receives our offerings. In the same way, there is no difference between making actual offerings and imagined offerings, because once again both are equally empty and Buddhas are present to receive our offerings.

It is quite difficult to fill the universe with Samantabhadra’s offerings, but it is easy to do so with our faith and imagination. In this section of the tsog offering, we bless the offerings, environment, and world. We first dissolve everything into emptiness, and then from the space of emptiness generate pure offerings and a pure world as described in the sadhana. We should strongly believe that the entire world has transformed into a pure land and all of space is filled with exquisite offerings that would delight the gods. We recognize all these offerings and the pure world to be the nature of indivisible bliss and emptiness appearing in the aspect of the offerings and pure world.

HUM All elaborations are completely pacified in the state of the Truth Body. The wind blows and the fire blazes. Above, on a grate of three human heads, AH within a qualified skullcup, OM the individual substances blaze. Above these stand OM AH HUM, each ablaze with its brilliant colour. Through the wind blowing and the fire blazing, the substances melt. Boiling, they swirl in a great vapour. Masses of light rays from the three letters radiate to the ten directions and invite the three vajras together with nectars. These dissolve separately into the three letters. Melting into nectar, they blend with the mixture. Purified, transformed, and increased,

EH MA HO They become a blazing ocean of magnificent delights.

OM AH HUM  (3x)

Here, we are specifically blessing the tsog offering itself. Externally, we imagine that from the space of emptiness appears a large skull cup inside of which are the offerings, we then imagine that a wisdom fire burns beneath the skull cup causing all the offerings to melt, and then we imagine the seed letters OM, AH, and HUM all dissolve into the offerings blessing them and purifying them as described explicitly in the sadhana. Internally, we can engage in tummo meditation inside our central channel. We imagine that our inner tummo fire at our secret place blazes, it causes the drops within our central channel to melt, giving rise to an experience of great bliss. An extensive explanation for how to do this can be found in Guide to Dakini Land and Essence of Vajrayana. Someone who is able to train in tummo meditation while blessing offerings will make very swift progress to enlightenment.

Inviting the guests of the tsog offering

O Root and lineage Gurus, whose nature is compassion,
The assembly of Yidams and objects of refuge, the Three Precious Jewels,
And the hosts of Heroes, Dakinis, Dharma Protectors, and Dharmapalas,
I invite you, please come to this place of offerings.

With this verse we invite all the deities of Highest Yoga Tantra to join us for the tsog offering. There are three points in particular we should emphasize. First, that all the invited deities are in essence our spiritual guide, who himself is the nature of compassion. Buddhas themselves have no need for emanation bodies, rather they generate them out of compassion to be able to communicate with living beings such as ourselves. Second, we should understand the different functions of the spiritual guide emanating these different forms. Our Yidams provide us with the actual Buddha we strive to become. The three precious jewels help us by bestowing blessings, setting a good example, and revealing to us the stages of the path to enlightenment. The Heroes and Dakinis bless our subtle body – our channels, drops, and winds – enabling us to easily cause our inner winds to dissolve into our central channel, giving rise to the appearances of the eight dissolutions, resulting finally in the mind of the clear light of bliss. The Dharma protectors and dharmapala’s arrange all the outer and inner conditions necessary for our swiftest possible enlightenment. Understanding the value of receiving all this benefit from our spiritual guide, we imagine all these deities come into the space in front of us. And third, we strongly believe we are in the living presence of all these deities. We should not think they are simply objects of our imagination, but rather that the holy beings themselves have entered into our mind and we are directly communing with them when we make the tsog offering.

Amidst vast clouds of outer, inner, and secret offerings,
With light radiating even from your feet,
O Supremely Accomplished One please remain firm on this beautiful throne of jewels
And bestow the attainments that we long for.

Here we recall all the offerings that we previously generated and the reason why we invited all the holy beings, namely so that they can bestow all the attainments that we long for. It is important to remember that the Buddhas want nothing more than to bestow blessings and attainments upon us. The reason why they attained enlightenment was to be able to do so, so we should feel that they are overjoyed to come into our presence to receive our offerings and to bestow their blessings.

Happy Tara Day: May there be the auspiciousness of her presence

Kadampa Ryan How to Rely Upon Tara, Tara Days

This is the final installment of the 12-part series sharing my understanding of the practice Liberation from Sorrow.

Dedication

By this virtue may I quickly
Become Arya Tara,
And then lead every living being
Without exception to that ground.

The dedication of any sadhana indicates the practice’s main function.  By engaging in the practice, we create the karmic causes for the ends we dedicate towards in the dedication.  Then, when doing the dedication, we “seal” the karma we have created through doing the practice so that it continues to work without interruption until the dedication is realized.  For me, the best analogy is dedication is like putting our savings into a retirement account, where it will continue to accumulate interest until eventually we have reached our retirement goals.  Geshe Chekhawa says there are two activities:  one at the beginning and one at the end.  In the beginning, we establish our motivation for engaging in the practice; and in the end, we dedicate our merit towards the accomplishment of our desired spiritual goals.  As Mahayanists, our motivation and our dedication are the same – we wish to become a Buddha for the sake of all living beings and then we dedicate at the end towards the same end.  Thus it is important that we recall our bodhichitta motivation for having engaged in the practice, and now we solidify it by dedicating our merits towards the same goal.

Sometimes it is easy to get lazy and distracted with our dedications, but this is a big mistake.  By the end of our practice, we are tired and we are also anticipating everything that we will have to do once our practice is over.  Our mind is already positioning itself for what comes after.  Shantideva explains that anger can quickly destroy all undedicated merit, but dedication functions to protect our merit from subsequent anger.  Given how easily we get angry, it is safe to say that any merit we have not dedicated has already been destroyed by our past anger.  In other words, the only merit we have left on our mind is that which we have dedicated.  Whenever good karma ripens, we should recall that the only reason why we are able to enjoy our present good circumstance is due to our past practice of dedication.

Here, we dedicate to become Arya Tara and to lead all living beings to the same ground.  We are Kadampas, so it is only natural for us to wish to become a Lamrim Buddha just like Tara.  Her special power is to bestow Lamrim realizations and her uncommon mission is to care for all Atisha’s future disciples.  We wish to do the same. 

Through the virtues I have collected
By worshipping the Blessed Mother,
May every living being without exception
Be born in the Pure Land of Bliss.

Here, we specifically recall that she is our blessed spiritual mother, who cares for and nurtures our spiritual life to maturity.  When we recite this dedication, we should mentally generate the wish that she be our spiritual mother in all of our future lives until we attain enlightenment.  Geshe-la once said that the mind of Lamrim is Akanishta Pure Land.  In other words, if we transform our mind into Lamrim, the world which will naturally appear is Akanishta Pure Land.  When we help others develop Lamrim minds, we are in fact bringing them into our Pure Land.  We do not have to wait until others die for them to be reborn in the Pure Land of Bliss, they can do so now through generating Lamrim minds.

Auspicious verse

You, who having abandoned all bodily faults, possess the signs and indications,
Who having abandoned all verbal faults, possess a heavenly voice,
Who having abandoned all mental faults, realize all objects of knowledge;
O Lady of blessed, glorious renown, may there be the auspiciousness of your presence.

This verse reveals how we should rely upon Tara in the meditation break.  We generate faith by considering the good qualities of a Buddha, but sometimes we forget to connect that to our own life.  In this verse, we bridge the gap by praying that we always be in the living presence of Tara and experience firsthand her good qualities.  A Buddha’s body is not just their form, such as a Green Deity with an outstretched leg; rather, their body pervades the entire universe and we can correctly view all things as her emanations.  With the first line, we pray that we “see” her in every form we encounter, and that we understand what we see as the signs and indications of her presence in our life.  To strengthen this experience, during the meditation break, we should take the time to view everything that appears to us as her bodily emanations in our life.  In particular, we can view the food we eat, the home we live in, the clothes we wear, etc., all as provided by our spiritual mother caring for us.

With the second line, we pray that every sound we hear – even the rustling of the leaves in the wind – is recognized by us as her heavenly voice teaching us the Kadam Lamrim.  During the meditation break, we hear countless sounds, but whether those sounds teach us Lamrim depends upon our familiarity with the Lamrim teachings and the blessings we receive from the Buddhas.  By practicing pure view recognizing every sound as Tara’s heavenly voice, she will enter into every sound and our mind will be blessed to hear everything as Lamrim teachings.  Then, day and night, it will be as if we are in her holy temple at her lotus feet.

With the third line, we pray that every thought that arise in our mind arise from her omniscient wisdom.  Thoughts arise in our mind like bubbles from the bottom of the sea, but the majority of them are contaminated, deluded views.  If we can unite our mind with Tara’s, then every thought we have will be a manifestation of her omniscient wisdom arising in our mind.  Gen Tharchin says a blessing is like a subtle infusion of a Buddha’s mind into our own.  When we feel the presence of Arya Tara’s mind within our own, then we will receive a steady stream of her blessings.  Throughout the meditation break, we should recall Tara has mixed inseparably with our root mind at our heart, and view every thought that arises as her quick wisdom.  By maintaining this view, she will enter every thought we have and bless us to have a Lamrim perspective with respect to every appearance.  In this way, everything that arises, both externally and internally, are all viewed as Tara.  In short, our practice during the meditation break is to always remember we are in her presence in these three ways.

Dedication:  I dedicate all of the merit I have accumulated through sharing my understanding of Tara practice so that in all our future lives she remains our spiritual mother, who gives birth to us as Kadampas and nurtures us to spiritual maturity on the Kadampa path.  Through her blessings, may our every experience give rise to Lamrim minds, and may we always feel ourselves to be in her holy presence.  May every person who reads this series of posts make the firm determination to engage in the Liberation from Sorrow practice the 8th of every month for the rest of their lives, and may Tara appear to them at the time of their death and lead them to her Pure Land. 

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Do not think about others’ faults and purify your greatest delusion first

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Do not think about others’ faults. 

 

This commitment advises us not to dwell on the faults of others.  If we contemplate our own faults we can identify them and overcome them.  This is true wisdom.  Contemplating our own good knowledge and qualities leads to conceit, but contemplating the good qualities of others leads to respect and affection.

 

If we understood the previous commitment, then this naturally follows.  The main point here is Geshe-la takes things one step further.  In the previous commitment we are advised to stop talking about other’s faults, here we are advised to not even think about them!  But again, it all depends on our motivation.  If our motivation is sincerely cherishing love, then our thinking about other’s faults enables us to generate compassion for them instead of disdain.  Once again, it is very important to make a distinction between the person and their delusions.  A person is not their delusions.

 

The reality is this: the world we experience is the world we pay attention to.  If all we do is pay attention to the faults of those around us, we will live in a faulty world.  If all we do is pay attention to the qualities of those around us, we will live in a world full of qualities.  Ultimately, whether something is a fault or something is a quality has nothing to do with the characteristic itself, but instead has everything to do with how we mentally relate to that appearance.  If our wish is to not be bothered, then other’s delusions appear to us as a problem.  If instead our wish is to grow as a person, then their delusions are helpful for us.  From our own side, we don’t need them to change because their faulty behavior suits our practice just fine.  For us, it is a beneficial condition in our life.  Of course for their sake, we may wish for them to be free from the apparent fault, but from our side we have no such need.  When people sense this in us, they naturally respect what we have to say and readily take it on board because they know they can trust that we are only looking out for their sake.

 

At a profound level, faulty beings only exist and appear to a faulty mind.  The faulty others we see are nothing more than creations of our own mind.  We need to stop creating such beings, and that begins by stopping even thinking about other’s faults.  The truth is, they have no faults.  Any faults we perceive are coming from our own mind, so it is quite unfair to blame them for our projections.  Instead of seeing others as faulty, we should train in seeing them an emanations of Buddhas.  They may still act in conventionally “faulty” ways, but when we see them as emanations, we will find their “faulty” behavior to be a powerful Dharma teaching.  Seeing others as Buddhas is the most compassionate thing we can do.  It functions to ripen their pure potential – our pure view draws out their Buddha-like qualities.  Just as self-generation practice requires us to first dissolve the self we normally see into the clear light, so too we need to stop thinking about other’s faults before we can see them as emanations.

 

Purify your greatest delusion first. 

 

If we purify our greatest delusion first, we will find it easier to overcome all our others.  With persistent effort we will slowly diminish our delusions until they cease altogether.

 

I have a former student who at the beginning of every year would have a meeting with me where she would decide what delusion she wanted to primarily work on for the coming year.  This became her main project for the year.  The reality is sustained focus brings results, so by focusing on one delusion over an extended period of time we can bring about real change.  If instead, we jump from one delusion to another we will always feel like we are just putting out fires and not radically altering our mind.  This does not mean that we don’t also work on eliminating our other delusions when they arise, but in terms of what we focus on, we focus on whatever is our biggest delusion. When we are clear in purpose, we then look for and find opportunities to work on overcoming that delusion.  When we have a primary objective in mind, we know what we need to focus on in a given situation, therefore our priorities are always clear.  We should pick a delusion, make it specific, make it clear, and then make overcoming it the main focus of our practice.

 

How do we choose what is our greatest delusion?  We should start with the one that creates the most problems for us, or the one that does the greatest harm to those around us.  For example, we can choose our anger.  But we need to make it specific, not abstract.  So we can say our anger and frustration with our family.  We should also pre-plan what are the main opponents we will use to oppose this delusion.  Interestingly, if we plan ahead of time how we intend to overcome certain delusions when they arise, when the time comes, our use of that opponent is much more effective.

 

Generally, whatever we have the most difficulty with in the beginning of our practice will be the most important realizations for us later.  For example, when I first started practicing I was totally in agreement with all the Dharma except this whole faith thing!  To me, faith was for people who didn’t know how to think for themselves.  For me, faith was dangerous because I then opened myself up to be manipulated and betrayed.  I came into the Dharma because I wanted answers – and I was finding real answers – so the whole idea of having faith just made no sense to me.  I continued practicing in this way for many years until during a retreat once I absolutely hit a wall.  I had gone as far as one can go without faith and everything died.  It was as if I had been going 70 miles per hour on the freeway and all a sudden, all four wheels came flying off.  I didn’t know what to do.  So I called my teacher, who in turn just laughed at me.  She said, “you don’t know what to do, do you?”  I said, “no.”  She then asked, “so why are you relying upon yourself then?”  And then it hit me.  I then asked, so what should I do?  She said, “don’t ask me.  Go sit down on your cushion, generate a pure motivation, and ask for guidance.  Then do whatever is revealed to you.”  I then did as I was instructed, nothing came at first, but then a message came to me very clearly:  “I need to start over from scratch.”  I then asked how, and a reply came back, “I will guide you.”  And from there, my entire practice got rebuilt with reliance as the center of my practice.  I would now not have it any other way.  I think when we get in trouble with our practice, it is always a good idea to do as my teacher advised.

The reason why we focus on our biggest delusion first is because it is the most pervasive, and is often the cause of many of our other smaller delusions.  So by attacking the big one, we take out a whole bunch of little ones.  But if we attack the little ones, and not the big one, new little ones will grow back.  Further, the skills we learn in being able to deal with our big delusions enables us to more easily deal with our smaller ones.

 

In the end, delusions are nothing other than bad habits of mind.  There is nothing intrinsic about delusions to our mind.  So with persistence and familiarity, we can reduce and finally eliminate our delusions.  It is useful to recall the story of the man cutting an iron block with a feather.  People thought he was crazy and would never succeed, but he said, “look, I have already made a mark.”

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Do not speak about degenerated limbs. 

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

This means we should not point out other’s faults without a good reason.  The criteria for pointing out other’s faults are (1) that our motivation is pure, and (2) we are sure they will benefit from it.  Otherwise, we will only make them upset and angry.

This advice is very important.  Often we think that others “they need to hear the truth,” and so we feel justified in criticizing others.  Of course we should only speak the truth, but the truth alone is not enough.  From amongst what is true, we should only say what is beneficial.  The so called “truth” itself has no independent value.  Besides, what we consider to be truth is in fact our own subjective perspective on things.  Ultimately, if we really want to hear the truth, the reality is any fault we see in somebody else is actually a reflection of the faults in our own mind.  So the truth we need to hear is we are the one’s responsible for all faults we perceive in the world, so it is highly misplaced to blame others for the projections of our own mind.

We think it will help the other person to hear about their faults because then they can change.  But if the other person is not genuinely open to discussing their faults and limitations, then our forcing them to do so just invites defensiveness and conflict.  They don’t change, instead they start to point out our own faults and defend why their faults are actually not faults at all.  Then, of course, they will also blame us for their faults – arguing it is due to our actions that they are acting the way they do.  So even if we are “right,” the only result of our “saying something” is they reject what we have to say, defend their faults as virtue, and wind up blaming others more forcefully for their problems.  How have we helped?  In general, if the other person is not open it is far better to not talk about their faults at all.  All that will do is make people unhappy and create problems. 

This is equally true when talking to people about the faults of others.  Most work environments and most circles of friends are plagued by talking badly about other people.  Quite often, we feel the only way in which people will accept us into their group is if we show them that we agree with their conclusions about how unreasonable and faulty certain other people are.  We may feel like it is OK because we are not talking about the faulty person with the faulty person, so their feelings don’t get hurt.  But when we talk about the faults of some people with others all we are doing is engaging in divisive speech.  We are also kidding ourselves if we think other people don’t know we are talking badly about them.  People are not stupid.  They know and it hurts.  And if they don’t know, then in many respects it is even worse.  How would we feel if we found out everybody who we thought was our friend was in fact secretly talking badly about us behind our backs?  How would we feel if we found out that in fact we were just part of a big joke of others who we thought were our friends?  As Kadampas, we simply don’t play this game.  As a general rule, we should never say anything bad about anybody ever. 

This does not mean we never talk about others’ faults, though.  If we could not ever discuss the faults of living beings, there would be no basis for discussing the Dharma at all.  What then are the conditions under which we can talk about other’s faults?  There are four that I use.  First, our motivation is sincerely pure and compassionate.  We know the difference between somebody who speaks about the faults of others from the perspective of a compassionate wish to help and when they do so with judgment in their hearts and a wish to criticize others as a means of aggrandizing themselves.  It is not enough for ourselves to have a compassionate motivation when speaking, others must realize that this is our motivation.  If they do not, then harm will still follow.  The second condition is we are certain that the other person is open and receptive to what we have to say.  This depends a great deal on whether the other person respects and trusts us.  It fundamentally depends on whether or not the person thinks we have some ulterior, selfish motive for saying something.  The reality is we are bothered by the fact that those around us are so faulty.  We wish it were otherwise.  We wish they were all free from delusions and always acted correctly.  We do not wish this out of compassion wanting what is best for them, rather we wish this because we are so tired of dealing with all their problems and serving as the object of their wrath.  When we try “help people overcome their faults” motivated by a simple aversion to their deluded behavior then they don’t trust us and don’t take our words as compassionate help.  Instead, they are received as a judgment and an attack.  We may be using Dharma words and saying Dharma wisdom, but in reality we are using the Dharma as a weapon to attack and judge others.  This is a terrible misuse of the Dharma.

The third condition necessary before we can talk about other’s faults is we ourselves don’t possess that fault.  It is quite rich to talk about other’s faults when we ourselves possess the same fault.  When we do so, others find us to be a hypocrite and feel we are hardly in a position to judge them.  So they reject what we have to say.  We do not have to be completely free from the fault before we can speak about it in others, but we do have to have the humility to fully and publicly own up to our possessing this fault.  One useful method to talk about other’s faults in a skillful way is to talk about our own faults.  We practice ‘owning other’s faults as our own,’ and then talk about other’s faults in the context of ourselves.  This shows humility and also allows others to hear what they need to hear without them growing defensive.  But we need to be sincere about it, because if we are talking about our own faults, but it comes across as insincere and a trick to talk about their faults, then it won’t work.

The fourth condition is when we speak about faults (of ourself or others) we do so clearly distinguishing between the person and the fault.  When we speak about somebody’s cancer, we don’t discuss it as a fault of the person, rather we discuss it as a sickness of the body.  In the same way, when we speak about somebody’s delusions, we don’t discuss it as a fault of the person, but rather as a sickness of their mind.  Grime on a diamond doesn’t defile the diamond itself.  Storm clouds in the sky aren’t the sky itself.  In the same way delusions cannot defile our mind and are not our mind itself.

The essential point is the only thing we have control over is ourselves, so our focus should be identifying our own faults and getting rid of them.  We should also be extremely gracious and open to others offering us constructive suggestions on how we can do better.  We need to actively seek others input for how we can do a better job, and really want to encourage others to help us see our faults.  In fact, those who criticize us are our best friends.

Happy Protector Day: All the Attainments I Desire Arise From Merely Remembering You

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden, Protector Days, Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

The 29th of every month is Protector Day.  This is part 11 of a 12-part series aimed at helping us remember our Dharma Protector Dorje Shugden and increase our faith in him on these special days.

In the last post I explained most of the things we request Dorje Shugden to do.  In this post I will explain the summary requests from the sadhana.

Please remain in this place always, surrounded by most excellent enjoyments.
As my guest, partake continuously of tormas and offerings;
And since you are entrusted with the protection of human wealth and enjoyments,
Never waver as my guardian throughout the day and the night.

All the attainments I desire
Arise from merely remembering you.
O Wishfulfilling Jewel, Protector of the Dharma,
Please accomplish all my wishes.   (3x)

This verse is the synthesis of the entire Dorje Shugden practice.  Everything is contained within this verse.  We can understand this verse as follows:  The first line refers to our pure wishes, not our mundane wishes.  The second line refers to wherever we imagine a Buddha, a Buddha actually goes, and where ever they go, they accomplish their function.  If we remember Dorje Shugden, he will infuse himself into the situation and transform it into something we see as perfect for our practice.  The third and fourth lines explain how Dorje Shugden can become a wishfulfilling jewel.  Since he accomplishes all our spiritual wishes, if we make all of our wishes spiritual ones, he will accomplish all our wishes.

Whenever we are in a difficult situation, we can recite this verse like a mantra requesting him to provide us immediate protection.  Then we should strongly believe that he has infused himself into the situation and everything is now perfect.  We may wonder why is it that all the attainments we desire arise from merely remembering Dorje Shugden.  The reason for this is Dorje Shugden is a wisdom Buddha, which means he primarily helps us by blessing our mind to be able to see how the conditions we have are perfect for our practice.  When we remember him, we recall that everything is emanated by him and thus perfect.  Just believing this to be the case with faith opens our mind to receiving his powerful blessings.  Sometimes we understand immediately how the situation is perfect for our spiritual training, other times it is not so clear.  But even when it is not clear why the conditions are perfect, our remembering him gives us the faith that things are perfect, so we can more easily accept them.  Understanding exactly why things are perfect for our practice is obviously best, but sometimes simply understanding that things are perfect is good enough to set our mind at peace.

If we do not have time to engage in the whole Dorje Shugden sadhana, we can just recite this verse three times and this will maintain our commitments.  One verse said out of deep faith and a pure motivation is far more powerful than hundreds of hours of sadhana practice with a distracted, unfaithful mind.  If we offer our life completely into his care, it does not matter how much recitation we do.  But with that being said, reciting the full sadhana is obviously more effective than just reciting this last verse assuming our faith and motivation are equal in both situations.

After reciting the “all the attainments I desire…” verse, it is customary to pause and make personal requests for ourself and the people we care about.  The following are some example requests we can make.  General requests can include, “May I gain all the realizations necessary to lead all those I love to enlightenment.” This is the essence of our bodhchitta wish.  We can also make the request, “Please arrange all the outer, inner and secret conditions so that all those I love may enter, progress along and complete the path to enlightenment in this lifetime.”  This request fulfills our superior intention to lead all beings along the path to enlightenment.

Some specific requests we can make are:  When we do not know what is best, we can request “Please arrange whatever is best with respect to _____.”  When we think something is best, but we have some attachment to getting it our way, we can make the request, “With respect to ____, if it is best, please arrange it; otherwise, please sabotage it.”  When we have some situation that needs transforming, we can request, “May my/his experience of _____ become a powerful cause of my/his enlightenment.”  Finally, we can request anything that has a pure motivation, but we shouldn’t become attached to getting things the way we think is best.  We do not know what is best, which is why we need an omniscient Dharma protector managing these things for us.

After we have made our requests, we can maintain three special recognitions.  We can hold these recognitions in the meditation session and the meditation break, and indeed for the rest of our life.  First, we can think, from now until we attain enlightenment, and especially in this lifetime, everything that appears to us physically is emanated by Dorje Shugden for our practice.  Certain appearances will be for us to overcome certain delusions.  Certain appearances will be for us to generate virtuous minds.  But we can be certain that from this point forward, there is not a single physical appearance that has not been emanated by him for us, so we can correctly see everything as an emanation of him for our practice.

Second, from now until we attain enlightenment, and especially in this lifetime, everything that we hear is emanated by Dorje Shugden to teach us the Dharma.  Obviously, this includes all the Dharma teachings we receive.  But it also includes conversations we overhear, songs we hear, even the wind blowing through the leaves.  But we can be certain that from this point forward, there is not a single sound that has not been emanated by him to teach us the Dharma.  We can correctly imagine that all sounds are mounted upon his mantra, and that when we hear the sounds they teach us the Dharma.

Third, from now until we attain enlightenment, and especially in this lifetime, everything that arises within our mind will be emanated by Dorje Shugden to provide us an opportunity to train our mind.  Obviously, this includes every time we generate virtuous minds with our Dharma practice.  He will also help us generate the virtuous minds of the stages of the path.  This additionally includes all the delusions that arise within our mind.  For example, if strong anger arises, we can believe it is emanated by him so that we can practice patience.  If strong jealousy arises, we can think it is emanated by him so we can practice rejoicing, etc.  This also applies to what others think, for example what they think about us, etc.  We can view everything that others are appearing to think to be emanated by Dorje Shugden for our practice.  We can be certain that from this point forward, there is not a single thought that will arise within our mind or the mind of others that has not been emanated by him to provide us an opportunity to train our mind, so we can fully accept everything that happens as perfect for our practice. 

In the next post I will explain how we can increase the power of our practice of Dorje Shugden.

Thanksgiving as a Kadampa

Kadampa Ryan 7. Kadampa meaning of special days
Getting together with family

Today is Thanksgiving in the United States.  Thanksgiving is part of modern life and one of the most important days on the American calendar. Therefore, it is our job to figure out how to celebrate it in a Kadampa way.

Traditionally on Thanksgiving, extended families get together and have a big feast and give thanks for the things and people in their life.  Even if people live far away, they travel to reunite with their family.  It is really only at Thanksgiving and Christmas that most Americans make a point of coming together as a family.  But that is often where the trouble starts!  We all have our uncle Bob or Grandpa John who just can’t help themselves saying offensive things.  Because it is supposed to be a “special day,” Mom and others get all stressed out that everything has to be “perfect,” but it is their anxiety about perfection that ruins it for everybody else.  Then of course, there is always the cynic – the person who is “too good” for Thanksgiving and feels the need to lambaste everyone else for their hypocrisy, fake friendliness, and consumerism come tomorrow when the Black Friday sales mark the official beginning of Christmas season.  Or perhaps we are Uncle Bob, the Nervous Nellie, or the cynic ruining the holiday for everyone else.  

The first things a Kadampa needs to do on Thanksgiving is to (1) fully accept and love our obnoxious relatives for who they are without feeling the need to change them in any way, and (2) make sure we are not the one ruining the holiday for everyone else.  As a cultural tradition, getting together with your family to give thanks is something to be rejoiced in, so we should throw ourselves into it and do what we can to make it good for everybody else.

Next, of course, comes the question about being vegetarian – or even more difficult, a vegan – on Thanksgiving.  What’s a good Kadampa to do with a giant Turkey carcass on the table, butter on the bread and mashed potatoes, and a hungry hoard ready to dig in?  Here, it entirely depends upon circumstance.  If your family is accepting of your vegetarianism, then make a vegetarian dish that you can share with everybody, and you eat what you can.  If your family does not understand and will feel offended or judged by your dietary choices, then I would advise to not make a stink out of it.  Take a small piece, eat a few bites without commentary to be polite and not hurt the cook’s feelings who prepared this big elaborate meal, and get on with your day.  But under no circumstances should you get on your soap box and make everybody else feel judged or guilty about their choices.  It is not our place to tell other people what dietary choices they should make.  Say some prayers for all the turkeys slaughtered on Thanksgiving, then transform everything into a giant Tsog offering and imagine you are offering up completely purified nectar to all the heroes and dakinis gathered around the table.

Giving Thanks

Usually during Thanksgiving, often during the meal, there comes a time where everyone explains what they are grateful for.  If your family is not accepting of your Buddhist path, now is not the time to profess your gratitude for your guru and the three precious jewels!  Internally, you should of course generate such gratitude.  But externally, you should express gratitude for things everyone else at the table can likewise generate gratitude for.  Why is this important?  If you express gratitude for something others are not grateful for, they may politely smile while you say your thanks, but in their heart they will be generating a critical mind towards your object of thanks.  You may feel like you have made your point, but they will have accumulated negative karma of holding on tightly to wrong views.  If you focus your thanks on things that everyone can be grateful for, then it is like you are leading a guided meditation in gratitude for all our kind mothers.

One of the hardest parts about Thanksgiving is, if we are honest, we don’t necessarily like our family very much.  Of course this isn’t true for everybody, but it is true for many people.  We are all just so different – different views and different priorities in life.  The members of our family have unique abilities to say all the wrong things which upset us in so many different ways, whether it is the irresponsible brother, controlling mother, judging father, obnoxious uncle, or embarrassing aunt, we find something we don’t like in all those closest to us.  One thing I have seen quite frequently among Kadampas is a very pure love for all the living beings they have never met, but general aversion for those closest to them in their life.  It’s easy to love all living beings in the abstract, loving actual deluded and annoying people is a different thing altogether.  Geshe-la tells us in all of his books we should start by learning how to love our family and those closest to us, and then gradually expand the scope of our love outwards until it encompasses all living beings.  Thanksgiving is a good day to start doing it right.  Love them, accept them, stop judging them.

Some people, though, find themselves alone on Thanksgiving. Perhaps there is so much conflict in their family that they just don’t get together anymore. Perhaps they would like to be with their family, but they lack the financial resources to join them. Perhaps there is a pandemic, preventing people from gathering. Perhaps their whole family has already passed away. Depression and suicide rates are often highest during the holidays. We attach so much importance to these holidays, and then when people find themselves alone or unloved, they fall into despair. When we were little, my mom was a single mother and the holidays were very important to her. Fortunately, some kind person always found a place at their table for us. It was annoying for me and my brother because we had to spend Thanksgiving with people we didn’t know nor particularly get along with, but it made a big difference for my emotionally fragile mother. If we know somebody who is alone on Thanksgiving, we should invite them to join us. There are so many people hurting out there, and most people just want to feel loved. So create a space at your table for them as my mother’s friends did for her. Don’t underestimate the difference such a gesture can make.

Celebrating Thanksgiving in Dharma Centers

I also think it would be wonderful if every Dharma center in America had a Thanksgiving party in which everyone was welcome.  Geshe-la often talks about Dharma centers as belonging to the community.  Why can’t a Dharma center have a Thanksgiving celebration?  This could be a private affair for the people of the center, or it could even be an open house community celebration for anybody to come.  In addition to a great meal and quality friends, discussions can be had about the kindness of all our mothers.  It doesn’t matter if the people who come never come back, or perhaps they only come on Thanksgiving because they have nowhere else to go.  We are grateful for all living beings, so Thanksgiving is our chance to give some love and kindness back.  Gen-la Losang once asked who is more important, the people who come to the center and stay or the people who come and never come back?  If we look at how most centers are run, it seems our answer is the people who come and stay.  But he said the correct answer is those who never come back for the simple reason they are more numerous.  If somebody comes once, but walks away thinking, “hey, those Buddhists ain’t bad,” then they have just created the karma to find the path again in the future.  If our centers belong to the community, there is no reason why our centers can’t start doing community service.  Perhaps this isn’t currently the tradition at our center, but there is no reason why it can’t become a tradition next year.

Internally, for me, Thanksgiving is a reminder that for the most part I am an extremely ungrateful individual and I take for granted the kindness of everyone around me.  As those who have been following my blog for a long time know, I have had lots of difficulties with my father over the years.  At the core of it, he simply finds me ungrateful for all that he has done for me.  Historically, I have disagreed and protested, but if I’m honest, he is right. I take for granted all of the kindness others have shown me, and I feel as if I am entitled to him showing me kindness. No matter how much kindness he or my mother have ever showed me, my general view has been “not good enough.” I might even conventionally have been right that he should have done more, but what good does such an attitude do. If others find me ungrateful, then instead of becoming defensive, I should use that as a reminder that I need to be more grateful.  How could that be a bad thing?  

Gratitude as the Foundation of the Mahayana Path

If we think about it, a feeling of gratitude is really the foundation of the entire Mahayana path. It is not enough to just generate a feeling of gratitude once a year on Thanksgiving, nor is it enough to generate such a feeling once every 21 days when we come around to it on our Lamrim cycle. Rather, gratitude should be our way of life. Gen Tharchin says that the definition of a realization of Dharma is when all of our actions are consistent with that realization and none of our actions are in contradiction with it. A feeling of gratitude towards everyone is a stage of the path, and one we should carry with us every day of the year.

But Thanksgiving is about more than just feeling grateful, it is also about “giving” back. Giving is one of our basic virtues, and one of our perfections that will take us to enlightenment. Gen Tharchin says the thought “mine” is the opposite of the mind of giving, so the way to perfect our giving is to stop imputing “mine” on anything. Instead we should mentally give everything we have to others. We mentally think everything, including our very body and mind, belong to others. We give them to others. Of course we may still retain control over certain things, but we should have no sense of ownership over anything. We are custodians of things for others, but our intention is to use them all for their benefit. We offer our body, our mind, our money, our time, our family, our careers, everything, to others. We commit that we will use everything we have for their sake. At the very least, we can offer a good meal and a warm heart. In the end, what most people want is to feel loved. This is something we can give if we put a little effort into it.

Most of all, on Thanksgiving, I try give thanks to those closest to me. Before I got married, I had a vision where Tara came to me and handed to me a child. As she did so, she said, “this is where you will find your love.” My children may be a lot of work, insanely expensive, and they may be maddening at times, but I love them with all my heart. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for them. If they were not in my life, I wouldn’t know what it means to really love another person and put their interests first. The path would remain quite abstract.

I think it is very important that we also learn to be genuinely grateful for our suffering. If we are honest about our spiritual practice, we usually only really get serious when we are experiencing some type of suffering. Then, when the difficult period in our life has passed, we go back to enjoying samsara and going through the motions with our practice. The solution to this problem is to “know suffering,” not just intellectually, but with our heart. We need to actually see our samsaric happiness as nothing more than a temporary reprieve from the endless slaughterhouse of samsara. We need to know our ordinary body and mind – our contaminated aggregates – as a cage that will torment us until the day we die, only to be thrown into a new prison cell which is likely to be far worse. We need to know our delusions are like devils duping us to follow paths that all end only in the fires of the deepest hell. We need to know all of the negative karma on our mind that we have not yet purified are like time bombs that can explode at any moment, shattering our lives and everything we hold dear. Such suffering is inevitable unless we end it as a possibility. It will never end on its own. When we actually “know” our suffering in our heart, then we will be motivated to practice sincerely, day and night, from this day until we are finally out. When we are grateful for our suffering, we are able to “accept” it. When we accept our suffering, it is no longer a “problem” for us. It may still be unpleasant, but it is not a problem, and so in many ways, we no longer “suffer” from it. Suffering comes primarily from non-acceptance of unpleasant feelings. But if we can develop an attitude of gratitude towards our difficulties, we will be able to accept them and realize that they are actually our most important fuel for our spiritual life.

Most of all, I am thankful for Geshe-la entering into my life.  He found me at my darkest hour, pulled me up, gave me a purpose, taught me what my real problem was (my own deluded, unpeaceful mind), gave me methods that work to heal my mind, provided me with perfectly reliable outer and inner advice, opened up my heart, revealed to me the magic of faith, provided teachers and centers who could help me bring the Dharma into my life, gave me the opportunity to teach the Dharma, and has been with me when I have felt otherwise alone.  He has created for me a vajra family of Sangha Brothers and Sisters who are some of the dearest people in my life, even though I rarely am able to see them.  He has shown me the root of my suffering and a doorway out.  He has provided me with everything I need to enter, progress along, and complete the path.  He has blessed my mind with countless empowerments, and has promised to remain in my heart helping me along until I attain the final goal.  Most of all, he has introduced me to Dorje Shugden and defended him when anybody and everybody else would have abandoned him.  Dorje Shugden is my guru, yidam and protector who helps me in this life and will be with me when I need him most – at the time of my death.

On Thanksgiving, I am grateful for all of this.  And I offer myself as a servant to my guru and to all living beings.  Please keep me in your service for as long as space exists.

Happy Tsog Day: Receiving the blessings of the four empowerments

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 20 of a 44-part series.

Through the force of requesting three times in this way, white, red, and blue light rays and nectars, serially and together, arise from the places of my Guru’s body, speech, and mind, and dissolve into my three places, serially and together. My four obstructions are purified and I receive the four empowerments. I attain the four bodies and, out of delight, an emanation of my Guru dissolves into me and bestows his blessings.

At this point we meditate briefly on receiving the blessings of the four empowerments according to the commentary. Then we imagine that an emanation of Lama Losang Tubwang Dorjechang comes to the crown of our head and, entering into our central channel, descends to our heart. We imagine that our subtle body, speech, and mind become of one taste with our Spiritual Guide’s body, speech, and mind, and meditate on this special feeling of bliss for a while. After this we recite the mantras according to the commentary.

The single-pointed request also has the function of requesting the spiritual guide to bestow the four empowerments. The four empowerments are the empowerment of the body; speech; mind; and the body, speech, and mind together of Je Tsongkhapa. The first empowerment bestows the body of a Je Tsongkhapa, which has the ability to emanate countless forms according to the needs of living beings. The speech empowerment bestows upon us the vajra speech of Je Tsongkhapa, which has power to guide all living beings to enter onto, progress along, and complete the path to enlightenment. By attaining the vajra speech of Je Tsongkhapa, our every sound will function to teach the truth of Dharma. The mind empowerment bestows the vajra mind of Je Tsongkhapa, which possesses the five omniscient wisdoms and can see clearly and directly all phenomena in all three times. The empowerment of the body, speech, and mind together functions to unite the vajra body, vajra speech, and vajra mind of Je Tsongkhapa so that they function together in harmony. Receiving the empowerments in this way is exactly the same as receiving the Je Tsongkhapa empowerment. In this way, the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide has the same function as self-initiation of Je Tsongkhapa.

We can also understand the empowerments at a deeper level where the vajra body empowerment is the similar in nature as the vase empowerment of Heruka that has the result of enabling all the meditations on the profound generation stage of the body mandala and leads to the final resultant attainment of the Emanation Body. The speech empowerment is similar in nature as the secret empowerment of Heruka, which empowers us to meditate on the completion stage of illusory body and have the good fortune of attaining the resultant enjoyment body. The mind empowerment is similar in nature to the wisdom mudra empowerment which empowers us to meditate on the completion stage of the clear light of the Mahamudra and will give us the good fortune of attaining the resultant Truth Body. And the body, speech, and mind empowerments together is similar in nature to the precious word empowerment, which empowers us to meditate on the completion stage of inconceivable and have the good fortune to attain the resultant union of Vajradhara.

When we receive the empowerments, we imagine that from the crown of our spiritual guide comes white wisdom lights that bestow the body empowerment; from the throat of our spiritual guide come red lights that bestow the speech empowerment; from the heart of our spiritual guide come blue lights which bestow the mind empowerment; and then from the body, speech, and mind of our spiritual guide simultaneously come white, red, and blue lights which bestow the body, speech, and mind empowerment together. As these light rays and nectars descend, we should feel as if we are receiving a subtle infusion of our Guru’s body, speech, and mind into our own body, speech, and mind bestowing upon us all the attainments.

After receiving these blessings, we then imagine that the entire field of merit dissolves into our spiritual guide in the space in front of us, who then comes to our crown, descends through our central channel down to our heart, where he mixes in separably with our indestructible wind and mind. It should feel as if his mind has entered into ours, and our mind is now his. Essentially, we receive a mind transplant where his enlightened mind becomes our own. Since the ultimate nature of our Guru’s mind is the union of great bliss and emptiness, we feel as if our mind has merged with an ocean of bliss and emptiness. Perceiving only the clear light, experiencing great bliss, and seeing directly the mere absence of all the things that we normally see, we recognize this clear light emptiness as our definitive spiritual guide and we impute our “I” upon it, strongly believing that we are Truth Body dharmakaya of our spiritual guide.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Remain natural while changing your aspiration. 

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Through the practice of training the mind our aspirations will change, but we should not make any outward changes in our body and speech, we should remain natural.  We should keep our attainments and realizations hidden from others so as to attract fewer obstacles.

This is very important advice, especially in modern times.  When our family and friends learn we have become a Buddhist, their big fear is that we have run off and joined some crazed sect, or they fear we will become strange.  This is especially a problem for modern Kadampas because when our families Google “New Kadampa Tradition,” all their worst fears of us joining some sect can be quickly reaffirmed.  So how do we counter this?  We answer all such concerns by showing through our actions, not our words, that the more we practice the more normal we become.  Indeed, what will happen is we will become more “normal” than they are, and they will be the ones who seem unbalanced – even to themselves.  When this happens, all their fears will subside.    

By remaining natural we force ourselves to focus our practice on the interior.  Because we are such external beings, we tend to exaggerate external changes.  But Dharma practice is an inner practice.  By keeping this commitment, we force all change to be internal – which is what we want.  The only thing we have to change is our mind.

By remaining natural, we make the Dharma more accessible to others.  They see that the only thing they have to change is their mind.  A good example of this is being vegetarian.  We never say that people need to become vegetarian to become a Buddhist.  Why?  Because most people simply don’t want to be vegetarian.  If they think they have to become vegetarian before they begin, they will conclude that it is too hard to be Buddhist so they will not even start.  But if instead we say there is no such commitment and everyone is free to do as they wish, then people will start practicing.  They will then gain personal experience of how the Dharma naturally makes them a happier person.  At some point later they may decide for personal reasons to become vegetarian, but it is coming from their own side.  The same is true for essentially every other instruction.  Buddha’s teachings are not commandments given to us from on high, rather they are time-tested and proven methods for finding inner peace.  We are free to try them or leave them.  When we try them, they work.  It is that simple. 

By forcing ourselves to remain natural we learn how to integrate the real meaning of Dharma into a modern cultural context.  This is Geshe-la’s main project, really.  It is up to us to carry on the lineage in the context that we find ourselves.  Keeping this instruction enables us to do so.  Geshe-la said once that he has given us the Dharma.  Now it is up to us to integrate it into our modern lives.  Since the publication of Modern Buddhism, the central mission of the tradition has become to “attain the union of Kadampa Buddhism and modern life.”  In this sense, we actually have an obligation to remain exactly as before externally.  Every life situation is equally empty, and so therefore every life situation is equally pregnant with spiritual possibilities.  Our job is to uncover how this is so.  When we do so, we then share our experience so that others who have lives similar to our own can come to understand how they too can seamlessly integrate the Dharma into their lives.  Paradoxically, the way we spread the Dharma far and wide is by externally not changing a thing.

This advice also serves as an insurance policy against us letting others know what our spiritual attainments are.  First, nobody likes a “holier than thou” person, so if we go around acting “all spiritual and deep” it is very off-putting.  If instead, we are completely normal, relaxed and easy going, then people will naturally want to be around us and want to know how we do it.  Very often in many different spiritual traditions we will see these people where the more “spiritual” they become the more uptight they become.  They become heavy and way too serious.  When they pray they get this strained look on their face.  Kadam Bjorn said there is not a single Dharma mind that is not spacious, open, and light.  If we are practicing correctly, the higher our spiritual attainments the more normal and down to earth we will be.  If this is not happening, it is a sign we are not practicing correctly.  Kadam Morten said there are two types of masters, those who show the final result and those who show the example of somebody going there, and in the end the latter is more beneficial.  It is much more useful to show the example of a humble practitioner. By remaining humble, people generate faith, whereas by being boastful, people develop suspicions

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Always train in the three general points

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

The commitments of training the mind

There are many benefits of following the 18 commitments and 22 precepts.  Keeping them is the supreme method for establishing and improving our moral discipline.  Moral discipline is the field from which all the crops of Lojong realizations grow.   Keeping these commitments is also a profound method for keeping our vows.  It protects us from falling into wrong paths and keeps us on correct paths in this and future lives.

The purpose of describing the benefits of our vows is to motivate us to practice them.  If we lack the desire to keep our commitments, then we should contemplate the benefits again and again until we want to keep them.  Training in the commitments and precepts of training the mind is the supreme method for strengthening our moral discipline.  In general, we say that moral discipline has three main parts. The commitments and precepts of training the mind enable us to accomplish all three.  The moral discipline of restraint is refraining from non-virtue when we would otherwise give in.  Each time we do this, we create the cause for a higher rebirth.  The only reason why we are enjoying our precious human life now is because in the past we refrained from being negative in the past when we otherwise would have been.  The moral discipline of practicing virtue is intentionally engaging in virtuous actions understanding the benefit of doing so, and the moral discipline of benefiting others is any virtuous action which brings benefit to others.

The commitments and precepts are a practical means by which we can put into practice all the Lojong instructions.  Training in the commitments and precepts themselves is the principal way in which we put the Lojong instructions into practice.  These commitments and precepts prevent us from taking a wrong turn.  They are like road signs that point us in our chosen direction.  They are like spiritual friends who always give us good advice.  They function as a fence which protects us from all suffering.

Always train in the three general points. 

The first of the three general points is do not allow your practice of training the mind to cause inappropriate behavior.  We should always act in a manner that is appropriate to our spiritual development, and not unnecessarily act recklessly or inappropriately thinking we are advanced practitioners.

This is very important advice.  If we don’t understand the Dharma correctly, it is easy for us to develop Dharma neuroses, where the more Dharma we understand the more problems we have.  Usually this comes from our taking the instructions to an extreme beyond our current capacity.  We have this big disjoint between our intellectual understanding and what we can actually do.  This disjoint can cause pain if we have expectations of actually being able to already do all that is described.  Dharma practice is not generating the minds of Dharma, it is trying our best to do so.  Problems can also arise if we become self-critical and angry at ourselves because we can’t do everything.  To overcome this, we need to separate our delusions from ourselves, and we need to just be content to try our best. 

 

Our practice should never feel forced, but should evolve naturally and gradually.  We should take each instruction in the context of the whole, not an individual instruction to an extreme.  The instructions as a whole function like a net, and we practice everything within the context of everything else.  This prevents us from taking things to crazy extremes.

 

The second of the three general points is do not allow the practice of training the mind to contradict your vows.  We should not abandon our other vows thinking that the commitments and precepts of training the mind are sufficient.  We need to work with all the vows.  We can think that our main vows are the pratimoksha, bodhisattva, and Tantric vows.  The commitments and precepts of training the mind are like supporting friends for our main practice of the three vows. 

 

The third of the three general points is do not practice training the mind with partiality.  We should practice cherishing others, etc., without partiality.  We should not say “I will cherish these people, but not those.”  Geshe-la says that we need to start with our close friends and family and then gradually extend the scope of our practice.  Why is this?  If in the beginning we try to “cherish all living beings” we will lack any feeling for what this means because it is too abstract and removed from our daily experience.  But if we just limit the scope of our compassion to our immediate family and friends it will not be enough to free us from samsara.  So we start with our immediate family and friends and generate authentic and qualified Dharma minds towards them, and then we gradually expand this feeling for more and more beings.  When we start to lose the feeling, we have gone too far, and when it feels insignificant, we have not gone far enough.  The optimal balance we are trying to strike is between the maximum number of people while still preserving some feeling. 

A Pure Life: Abandoning Pride

Kadampa Ryan Precept Days

This is part eleven of a 12-part series on how to skillfully train in the Eight Mahayana Precepts.  The 15th of every month is Precepts Day, when Kadampa practitioners around the world typically take and observe the Precepts.

The actual precept here is to avoid sitting on high thrones, but the broader meaning is to not develop pride or to try put yourself in positions of superiority over others.  Very few of us have opportunities to sit on thrones, but we often generate pride.

Sometimes people get confused thinking bodhichitta is a supremely arrogant mind.  Who do we think we are to aspire to become the savior of all?  It is like we have some Jesus-complex or something.  But actually, pride and bodhichitta are exact opposites.  Pride thinks our ordinary mind is somehow special.  Bodhichitta fully accepts and acknowledges the limitations of our ordinary mind and sees how a Buddha’s mind is far superior.  So humility with respect to our ordinary body and mind are actually prerequisites for generating bodhichitta. 

Faults of pride

From a practical point of view, pride is actually the most harmful of all the delusions.  Why?  Because pride functions to blind us to our own faults.  If we are unaware of our faults, then there is no way we can overcome them.  Our pride does not prevent others from being able to catalog clearly all of our faults, but with pride even when others point out to us our shortcomings we fail to see them and we instead see all of the faults of the person “attacking and criticizing us.”  When we suffer from pride, when we do become aware of our faults or limitations, we quickly become despondent, deflated and discouraged.  We swing from misplaced overconfidence to a wish to give up trying.  We somehow think we should be naturally endowed with perfect abilities, and we think we should enjoy great success without putting in the necessary preparatory work.  We would rather not try at all than give something our all and then come up short.  With pride we become obsessed with “winning” and “losing,” and most importantly with whether or not we are better than everyone else.  This introduces haughtiness towards some, competitiveness towards others, and jealousy towards everyone else.  With pride, we are loathe to look at our faults because doing so shatters our inflated sense of our own abilities, and we would rather knowingly live a lie than come down to earth and begin rebuilding.  If we have every delusion except pride, we can identify our faults and gradually overcome them all.  If we have pride, however, we can never go anywhere on the spiritual path.  We may even occupy a high spiritual position, be venerated by everyone, but inside we know we are a charlatan; or worse, we don’t even realize that we are.   

Pretentious pride

I have a long history of being attached to what others think of me, especially what my spiritual teachers think of me.  For many years (and even now, if I am honest), I try get my teachers to think I am better than I really am.  I do this because I think they will like me more if they think I am this great practitioner. 

Another common example is refusing invitations or gifts.  If someone with a good motivation invites us to do something and without a good reason we decline merely out of pride, laziness, or anger, we incur a secondary bodhisattva downfall.  Similarly, if we are given gifts and, without a good reason, we refuse them merely out of pride, anger, or laziness we incur a secondary downfall. 

Likewise, there are some people – myself included – who are too proud to accept the help of others.  Sometimes we need help to get out of a situation we are in.  If due to our pride we fail to reach out to others for help when we need it, who are we helping?  We are unnecessarily bad off, and sometimes we can be in over our head and our situation can become much worse.  When that happens, we then have to ask people for help, but now we are asking for much more.  We shouldn’t be like this.  Likewise, by seeking help from others we can sometimes accomplish much more than if we do everything ourselves, and so therefore we can help even more people.  So in an effort to accomplish great things, we ask for help from others.

In the early days of the tradition, everyone spoke of their teachers as if they were Buddhas without fault.  This then lead to the teaches pretending to be better than they are thinking it was helpful to the student’s faith.  The teachers would then repress their delusions, develop all sorts of strange forms of pride and then either implode from repression or explode by doing something stupid thinking it was divine to do so.  This is why Gen-la Khyenrab is such a good example.  There is not an ounce of pretention in him and he constantly encourages us to keep it real.  Such behavior is perfect.

In my last meeting with Gen Lekma as my teacher before I moved to Europe, I asked her for some final advice.  She said, “train in the three difficulties, in particular identifying your own delusions.”  The most dangerous thing about pride is it makes you blind to your own faults and delusions.  If you can’t see them, you can’t overcome them.  Once we become aware of a sickness in our body, we are naturally motivated to find a remedy and to apply it.  It is the same with the inner sickness of our delusions.  Most doctors all agree medicine is 80% correct diagnosis, 20% cure.  Once the illness is correctly diagnosed, the cure is usually self-evident.  Again, the same is true with our inner sickness of delusions.

Praising ourself and scoring others

The reality is this:  everytime we say anything even slightly negative or judgmental about somebody else, we are implicitly saying we are somehow better.  If we check carefully and honestly, we will see that virtually everything we say is directly or indirectly saying we are somehow better than others who make the mistakes we cite. 

One of the bodhisattva vows is we need to abandon praising ourself and scoring others.  In my own speech, I try live by three rules:  First, never say anything bad about anyone ever.  I don’t always succeed at this, but I do try.  My Grandmother, who lived to 104 years old, basically never said anything bad about anybody.  The closest I have heard her say anything bad about anybody was during the first Iraq war, and she said, “Saddam Hussein, ehhhh, …”  And then she cut herself off.  Second, I try to never make any comparisons – ever.  When I make any comparisons between people, invariably I am putting somebody down.  When I make comparisons between myself and others, I invariably develop pride, competitiveness or jealousy.  But if I never compare, then these minds don’t have as much occasion to arise.  Third, I try to never miss a chance to praise somebody for some quality I see in them.  Of course we have to be skillful with this.  Our compliments should be genuine and well grounded.  If somebody doesn’t actually have a good quality and we praise it, they usually know we are not being sincere and it just makes things worse.  Likewise, we can’t do this too much where it becomes obnoxious or uncomfortable for the other person.  But even though we might not be able to say all the compliments you would like to, mentally we can still think them. 

Pride in our Dharma practice

Few among us, though would actually outright belittle those who travel other paths, but there are many subtle levels where we do this.  First, it is not uncommon for Mahayana practitioners to, even if only internally, generate pride thinking they are somehow better because than those travelling another path that leads only to liberation.  This downfall can take the form of a pride in thinking the Mahayana practitioner is somehow superior to the Hinayana practitioner.  Does a roof think it can stand alone without its walls supporting it?  Can a mountain tower above without the earth underneath it? 

This can also take the form when we generate pride in our Dharma lifestyle.  There is sometimes a pride that develops in some Dharma practitioners who do live the more traditional Dharma life thinking that those who do not do so are somehow inferior or less serious about their practice.  Such practitioners think they are the real tradition, the real practitioners, and the only reason why people live a different mode of life is because they are too attached to samsara to let go of it, etc.  Such practitioners then unskillfully make others feel like they are somehow doing something wrong if they live a normal modern life, if they don’t make it to every festival, etc.  

Ordained people can feel like only they are the real practitioners and everybody else just can’t let go of samsara.  Prasangikas read there is no enlightenment outside of the wisdom realizing emptiness and then conclude they have the monopoly on the truth.  Mahayanists look down on Theravadan practitioners as being “lesser.”  Dorje Shugden practitioners look down on the Dalai Lama’s followers as having sold out the pure Dharma for Tibetan politics.  Buddhists look down on devout Christians with their grasping at an external creator and denials of basic science.  Resident Teachers look down on those who are not “committed enough” to follow the study programs perfectly.  Center administrators look down on those who contribute little to the functioning of the center.  So called “scholars” look down on those with a simplistic understanding of the Dharma.  So-called “practitioners” look down on scholars as just intellectual masturbators.  Those from more established, successful Dharma centers look down on those whose centers are struggling to survive.  Those who have not yet been fired by Geshe-la look down on those who have been.  Those who have been fired several times look down on those who haven’t yet.  Those who have been around for many years look down on those who are naively enthusiastic in the honeymoon stage.  Those on ITTP look down on those just on TTP; those on TTP look down on those just in FP; those on FP look down on those just in GP.  Those who go to pujas at the center look down on those who don’t.  Highest Yoga Tantra practitioners look down on those who are not.  The list goes on and on and on.  It’s all the same though:  people look at some good aspect of their Dharma practice as being somehow superior to that of others, and they use this as a basis for generating pride.

Do not be boastful  

 Our purpose in training the mind is to attain enlightenment for the benefit of all, therefore it is quite inappropriate to become conceited and boast to everyone what we are doing.

Those who suffer from pride, such as myself, often become very attached to what other people think of them.  Our sense of self-confidence and self-worth is based on an inflated perception of how great we are.  When others don’t share the same “exalted view” of us, then it threatens our self-narrative, and so we quickly become defensive.  Ultimately, of course, arrogance and pride are a reflection of deeper-seated insecurity.  Since we don’t want to confront that, we try get everyone else to likewise think we are so wonderful.

When we apply for jobs, we exaggerate our past accomplishments.  When we tell stories of particularly difficult situations we have dealt with, we almost always make it out worse than it really was.  We lie about our grades in school to our friends, we overstate the success we have enjoyed in our extra-curricular activities.  Especially among our Dharma friends, we put on a show of how we are free from delusions and are such a great Dharma practitioner.  

Many, many, conversations among work colleagues revolve around telling stories about how stupid our co-workers, clients or bosses are.  Every time we point out the faults of somebody else, what we are implicitly trying to say is that we are better than the person we are criticizing.  There is a very perverse logic in the world that thinks, “if I can criticize something good that everybody else likes, then it means I am even better.”  Rich people are praised for their “discriminating taste,” which essentially means they can’t be happy with anything but the very best of everything.  Why would we want to be like that, when the actual meaning of this is we are unhappy most of the time because rarely do we get the best of anything.  We see this dynamic all throughout our society:  criticizing famous people, disliking popular movies, judging those who eat fast food when who amongst us does not occasionally like a good burger!  Pride is so ridiculous, it can take any small personality characteristic we might possesses, and then use that as a basis for thinking we are better than everyone else.

Very often prideful and boastful people are not satisfied with knowing themselves that they are the best at everything they do, but they do not rest until everyone else agrees they are the best.  When somebody doesn’t agree, our mind is suddenly filled with an exhaustive list of all the faults of this insolent person!

Besides being absurd, what are some of the problems with such an attitude?  First, as a general rule, the more boastful we are with others, the more they dislike us and want to knock us down a peg or two.  Second, as a general rule, truly great people don’t talk about how great they are, they simply quietly do their thing.  Third, it feeds our dependency on what other people think of us, thus making us feel increasingly insecure.  Fourth, we close the door on ourselves of being able to ask for help from others, including our Dharma teachers.  I remember I used to be very attached to whether or not my Dharma teachers thought I was a great practitioner, so I actually didn’t want to go talk to them about what problems and delusions I was having because to do so might threaten their vision of me.  This makes our going for refuge impossible because we can’t admit we need help.  Fifth, pride in our contaminated aggregates makes renunciation, bodhichitta and our Tantric practice impossible.  It is only by coming to terms with the hopeless nature of our samsaric condition that we can make the decision to leave, become a Buddha and train in identifying with the pure aggregates of the deity.  Sixth, and worst of all, it makes it impossible for us to learn from anybody.  If we think we are better than others, we feel we have nothing to learn from them.  If we aren’t learning, how can we possibly progress along the path?