Not to abandon any living being

This is an incredibly vast practice.  The meaning of this vow is we exclude nobody from our bodhichitta.  We seek to attain enlightenment for all living beings without exception.  At a very practical level, what this means is when we see somebody with some problem we never think, “not my problem.”  Any problem any living being has is our problem.  It is not our problem in the sense we have a problem with them having a problem, rather it is of our concern.  We should have a feeling of personal responsibility for every living being without exception.  If there is even one being for whom we don’t feel personal responsibility, then to a certain extent we can say we have abandoned that being.  Technically, however, we only actually abandon a living being when we make the active choice that we are no longer going to work for the benefit of a particular person.  We conclude, “they are on their own,” or “they are somebody else’s problem now.”  Or we say we will become a Buddha for all except this person.

This vow can give rise to a good deal of confusion.  This vow does not mean we can never leave a relationship with somebody.  Very often people hear the teachings on cherishing others and not abandoning others, and they conclude that it means they should stay with their partner despite the fact that their partner is abusive.  This is a completely wrong understanding.  Not abandoning others does not mean we don’t end relationships with people when they need to be ended, rather it means we never abandon caring for the other person.  When somebody is being abusive towards us, often times the best way we can express our caring for the other person is by leaving them.  We do not help people by letting them abuse us.  We do not help people by indulging them in their delusions.  Why?  Because we are letting them create all sorts of negative karma for themselves.  Every time we let them be abusive towards us, they create the karma to be abused themselves in the future.  Because we care about them and we don’t want them to create that karma, we need to end it or at least no longer cooperate with it.  I have discussed these points at length in the series on Cultivating Healthy Relationships, so you can find more detail there.

Another common confusion that arises with respect to this vow is how we help people.  Sometimes out of compassion not wanting others to suffer, we solve their problems for them.  We know if we don’t solve their problem for them, they are really going to struggle, and possibly fail, and we want to spare them from having to endure that, so we solve their problem for them.  If we don’t do so, it feels like we are abandoning them.  We know we could help them, but we don’t.  They then suffer, and cry out to us for help, they may even get mad at us and guilt trip us for not helping them.  For many parents, episodes like this tear them apart.  But the bottom line on this is very simple:  we are not helping people by doing for them things they can do for themselves.  Quite the opposite, if we do for them things they can do for themselves, we are actually dis-empowering them and allowing them to develop bad habits of viewing others as the solution to their problems, and making them think they have no power from their own side to solve their own problems.  This leads to some highly dysfunctional dynamics between people and ultimate drags both people down.  This is wrong compassion, it is compassion without wisdom.

If instead, we tell people, “Look, I could do this for you, but then you would never learn how to do it for yourself.  You would be forever dependent on other people.  This doesn’t help you.  Therefore, I am going to let you do this one on your own.  I am helping you more by letting you do it on your own.  It is because I love you that I realize the best way I can help you is by letting you handle this one on your own.”  At first, they may not understand this logic, but if you start with small things that you know are doable for the other person, they will eventually start to get it.  The key is finding the 110% threshold of the other person’s current capacity.  If something is 200% beyond their capacity, there is no sense in letting them deal with it on their own because they will inevitably fail and become discouraged.  You also definitely don’t want to do things that are say 80% of their capacity because that just makes them lazy and absolutely saps their self-confidence of being able to do even the most basic of things.  110% is the perfect threshold because it forces the other person to stretch themselves to succeed, but it is still within the range of doable.  It will take some trial and error before you start to develop a fairly reliable intuition for where the person’s 110% threshold is, but with blessings and experience it won’t take long.

The interesting thing is when you start to relate to people in this way, their own capacity quickly begins to grow.  What was 110% for them last week is only 105% this week, and will be 80% in perhaps a short period of time.  We keep upping the ante on them, we keep stretching them and growing them until eventually they are completely capable and self-sufficient in life.  You will know you are doing your job correctly when the other person has some problem, you go to help them, and they say, “no don’t.  Let me do this myself.” 

To remember the benefits of bodhichitta six times a day.

The benefits of bodhichitta explained in the lamrim are as follows:  We enter the gateway to the Mahayana, we become a Son or Daughter of the Buddhas, we surpass Hearers and Solitary Realizers, we become worthy to receive offerings and prostrations from humans and gods, we easily accumulate a vast amount of merit, we quickly destroy powerful negativities, we fulfil all our wishes, we are free from harm by spirits and so forth, we accomplish all the spiritual grounds and paths, and we have a state of mind that is the source of peace and happiness for all beings.  These are all explained in detail in Joyful Path and Meaningful to Behold.

The meaning of this vow is we should always remember the benefits of bodhichitta.  Why?  We are desire realm beings, which means we have no choice but to work for whatever it is we desire.  Right now, we desire the 8 worldly concerns.  We remember the benefits of these worldly concerns far more than 6 times a day, more like 60.  Because we are completely familiar with the benefits of these things, we spontaneously day and night want them.  All our actions are geared towards securing them.  This occurs naturally and spontaneously.  If we had the same desire for bodhichitta as we do to get rich or sleep with a certain person, we would already be enlightened.  Because we are desire realm beings, if what we desire more than anything else is bodhichitta, we would literally have no choice but to have all our actions be aimed at pursuing it!  Imagine how quickly we would attain enlightenment if this was the case.   This is why we must continuously contemplate the benefits of bodhichitta.

The secret to doing this is we need to realize how bodhichitta is the solution to all our problems.  We already have a spontaneous desire to be free from all our problems.  But we are confused about the method or means we need to use to solve them.  Because we still grasp at our outer problem as being our problem, we naturally have a desire to secure the external conditions necessary to solve the outer problem.  Of course we do need to solve the external problem, but the external problem is not our problem.  Our problem is our internal problem of the unpleasant feelings in our mind arising from our deluded reaction to whatever arises.  If we are crystal clear as to the nature of our problem, then we will spontaneously want to seek a solution to our inner problem in exactly the same way as we currently seek solutions to our outer problems.

Once we have made this distinction and we clearly see our inner problem, then we simply ask ourselves the question:  How is the mind of bodhichitta the solution to my current inner problem?  We then receive blessings and contemplate and develop an understanding of how bodhichitta is the solution.  We will then want bodhichitta.  We will see its benefits.  Practicing in this way, our problems then become the fuel for our wanting bodhichitta.  Since we have far more than 6 problems a day, we will have no difficulty remembering the benefits of bodhichitta 6 times a day.  It is generally best if we take an entire day, or even a week, to focus on this in the meditation break.  I find it is usually more beneficial to pick one specific Dharma practice to really focus on all day during the meditation break than it is to try practice a little bit of whatever during the meditation break.  When we focus on one practice, we gain some real experience with it, and then we can more easily carry this over into the rest of our life. 

To generate bodhichitta six times a day

If we practice in the way I just described, namely every time a problem arises we consider the difference between our outer and inner problem, and then we contemplate how bodhichitta is the solution to our inner problem, then the natural next step is to actually generate bodhichitta.  We want it, then we generate it.  Very simple.  Once again, since we have far more than 6 problems in a given day, we are able to generate bodhichitta easily more than 6 times a day.

What does it mean to generate bodhichitta?  While it is beneficial to recite the bodhichitta prayer, reciting this prayer in and of itself is not sufficient for generating bodhichitta.  We actually need to generate the mind of bodhichitta.  The short-cut for generating bodhichitta is to compare the state of our current mind and abilities with those of a Buddha.  We see our ordinary mind is weak and limited, but a Buddha’s mind is not; therefore we naturally want to abandon our ordinary mind and attain a Buddha’s mind. 

Sometimes people get confused thinking bodhichitta is a supremely arrogant mind.  Who do we think we are to aspire to become the savior of all?  It’s like we have some Jesus-complex or something.  But actually, pride and bodhichitta are exact opposites.  Pride thinks our ordinary mind is somehow special.  Bodhichitta fully accepts and acknowledges the limitations of our ordinary mind and sees how a Buddha’s mind is far superior.  So humility with respect to our ordinary body and mind are actually prerequisites for generating bodhichitta. 

Some people agree that drinking alcohol just makes us stupid and taking hard drugs is just too dangerous, but they then ask what about marijuana?  People who have smoked almost all agree that it makes them more mellow and often gives them insights which are very similar and profound like what we realize with the Dharma.  There are also a great number of medical studies about the health benefits of this drug.  Let’s face it, a very high percentage of Dharma practitioners have smoked pot in the past.  Here the case is much harder, but still it is not worth it.  Why?  First, just as alcohol functions to undermine our inhibitions, marijuana functions to undermine our desire to do anything other than more marijuana.  This is true, and anybody who has smoked knows what I am talking about.  Conventionally, people usually all agree that people who regularly smoke have less ambition and drive than they used to.  Whenever free time arises, their first impulse is to light up.  As we know from the lamrim teachings, desire is everything.  All the lamrim meditations are ultimately about building up within us an unquenchable desire for liberation and enlightenment.  Marijuana deflates our desires, and the more we smoke the less we desire anything else. 

Second, if we are even slightly prone to psychiatric disorders, marijuana is downright dangerous.  When I was in Geneva, there were three different practitioners who were mentally completely normal prior to smoking marijuana, but they had latent potentials for psychiatric disorders, and after smoking regularly for a period of time, they all three developed very serious psychiatric issues, so much so that all three of them have spent a fair amount of time in mental hospitals.  We don’t know what latent potentialities we have lurking under the surface, and smoking could activate them.  Perhaps we have smoked a few times without a problem and therefore think we are immune to this problem.  But we never know if we are just one joint away from tripping over some invisible karmic wire we didn’t know was there.

Third, marijuana is a gateway drug.  It is like crossing the Rubicon, and once we have done so the other drugs which before we said we would never even consider trying suddenly no longer seem that different.  Marijuana seems to be OK, perhaps Ecstasy, opium or a little blow might be OK too.  Geshe-la explains in the teachings on delusions that the easiest way to stop delusions is to do so early before they have gathered up steam.  Once we allowed them to run a little bit in our mind, they can seemingly take on a force of their own and become unstoppable in our mind.  It is the same with drugs.  Just as they say it is easier to attain enlightenment once we have become a human than it is to become a human if we have fallen into the lower realms, so too it is easier to avoid marijuana now than it is to avoid using other drugs once we have started using marijuana. 

Finally, sometimes people object saying that when they smoke marijuana it gives them deep insights into the Dharma, so how can that be bad?  Perhaps it is true that when we smoke up, suddenly emptiness makes sense.  We see all the connections between the different Dharma teachings.  Such experiences can quickly and easily be used to justify doing it some more “for valid Dharma reasons.”  So again, just like with the health benefits of drinking a glass of wine every day, let’s assume for the sake of argument that there are deeper insights to be had by smoking marijuana.  Once again my question is simple:  isn’t have a precious human life also good for gaining spiritual insights?  Every time we practice moral discipline for spiritual reasons, we create the karmic causes for an entire precious human life.  So what gives us greater opportunities to gain spiritual insights, 80 years worth of a precious human life or a few hours each week for 80 years?  And this is setting aside the fact that there are diminishing returns.  Perhaps the first time we get high we feel the subtle vibrations of the cosmos, but do we get that same feeling the 20^th time we get high?  Eventually, it starts to do very little for us.  So again, let’s assume you smoke once a week for your whole life.  By taking this vow, you will train in this moral discipline 3,120 times (assuming you are 20 and live until you are 80).  3,120 actions of moral discipline translates into 3,120 precious human lives or another 249,600 years worth of precious human existence.  What will give you the opportunity to gain greater spiritual insight, 250,000 years’ worth of precious human life or a few random insights from being high?  Again, math doesn’t lie.

The final thing I want to address is the situation of what happens if despite all the above, we are ready to take the Pratimoksha vows for everything except this one related to intoxicants.  We just can’t bring ourselves to do it.  Should we hold off on taking the vows?  I have heard some people within the tradition say yes.  I would say this is wrong advice, and a dangerous wrong at that.  It runs exactly counter to everything Geshe-la teaches about the working gradually and skillfully with all the vows.  It makes absolutely no sense to refrain from all moral discipline just because you can’t do one act of moral discipline perfectly.  How is that any better?  Now it is true that we can’t take all the Pratimoksha vows except the one regarding intoxicants, we need to work with all the vows, but we can work with each one at different levels according to our capacity.  Just as Buddha skillfully encouraged the butcher to no longer kill animals at night, so too we can skillfully promise to refrain from taking intoxicants in some circumstances, such as never do so while alone.  Or not on Tuesdays, whatever.  Start somewhere, and then gradually expand the scope.  What matters is that mentally you understand the value of moral discipline and you maintain the intention to one day keep even this vow purely.  It is better to get incomplete benefits from imperfect Pratimoksha vows than it is to get no benefit from no Pratimoksha vows.  Do don’t let this wrong understanding prevent you from getting started on the path of improving your moral discipline.

To abandon taking intoxicants 

This includes drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, or taking drugs.  This is often one of the toughest ones for us to follow.  The object of this vow is obviously any intoxicant, whether it is legal or not.  Some people ask the question whether caffeine counts, after all it is highly addictive and many people relate to it no differently than other drugs.  And if coffee is an intoxicant, then aren’t all the centers and festivals and World Peace Cafes constantly encouraging others to break their Pratimoksha vows?

Some people don’t like the answer I am about to give, but I will give it anyways.  Yes, I think caffeine can be considered an intoxicant.  I think nothing is really an intoxicant from its own side and everything can be an intoxicant for us depending on how we relate to it.  As my diabetes shows, sugar is not an intoxicant from its own side, but if we adopt an addictive attitude towards it, then for us I would say it is and likewise should be brought under control.  Likewise, many people get addicted to porn.  This is a very common addiction in the modern world, especially with the ease of access on-line.  This too can be a form of intoxicant for us depending on how we relate to it.

Some objects, like cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs are in a somewhat different category because there express purpose is to alter our mind.  This is the main point.  If we understand that our problem is our mind and alcohol and drugs help us change our mind, then can’t we argue that with them we are at least solving the right problem?  From one perspective, I guess we can say that.  But it is still a completely wrong thought.  Yes, we need to change our mind, but we need to change our mind with our mind.  We can think of our mind as like a muscle.  The more we exercise it, the stronger it gets.  The more we become dependent upon other things to change our mind, the weaker that muscle becomes.  Ultimately, we need a very strong mind.  Further, alcohol and drugs function to render our mind uncontrolled.  Our goal is to make our mind controlled.  So these things may change our mind, but they do so in a way that makes our mind more uncontrolled, and thus they take us in the opposite direction of where we want to go.

Alcohol in particular generally just makes us stupid.  The reason why alcohol is so dangerous is it primarily functions to undermine our inhibitions.  Our inhibitions are often what hold us back from engaging in negativity.  If we harbor in our heart a good deal of negative impulses, then when we consume alcohol it erodes those inhibitions and our negativity is given free rein.  We all know stories.  Now, some people say that there is nothing wrong with being an occasional social drinker, especially if is done in moderation.  It is true that it is less bad, but that doesn’t necessarily make it good.  It is true that it is good to be social, but how will you grow more as a person, by using the crutch of alcohol or doing the deep inner work of overcoming those delusions which prevent you from being a socially engaged person?  I am now a diplomat and I attend quite a number of social gatherings where everyone – and I mean everyone – is drinking.  I walk around with a glass of water or even orange juice in my hand.  At first, I hated these gatherings because I have never liked parties.  But I forced myself to learn how to become socially engaged, to let go, relax and have a good time.  I learned how to be able to have a good conversation easily with anybody.  The secret to this is not complicated:  take a genuine interest in what others have to say.  Everyone has a lifetime worth of experiences waiting to be tapped, and all you need to do is be interested in finding out what they have to say.  Usually people only want to talk about themselves anyways, so it is not difficult to get the conversations started, and what you will find is because you have all your mental faculties about you, you are better able to cherish the other person and occasionally pepper the conversation with some wisdom. 

Other people object saying, but having a glass of red wine every day has been medically proven to be good for your health.  I am not a doctor, so I can’t say whether this is true or not, but let’s just assume it is.  My question is simple:  isn’t moral discipline also good for your health?  Let’s take a wild exaggeration of the benefits of drinking a glass of wine every day and say it adds 10 years onto your human life.  Surely that is extraordinary, is it not?  Surely that is enough justification to do it.  But every time we engage in the practice of moral discipline we create the substantial karmic cause for a rebirth in the upper realms, for example as a human.  If we assume an average lifespan of 80 years, what extends our experience of human life more, the 10 years or the 80?  And, just to take this a little further, if you practice this moral discipline every day from age 21 to 80, then that is 21,535 instances of moral discipline, each one of which creates the cause for at least another human rebirth of say 80 years, then keeping this vow will extend our experience of human life by 1,722,800 years!  Do the math.  Logic doesn’t lie. 

To abandon lying

The objects of lying are mostly included within the eight:  what is seen, what is heard, what is experienced, what is known; and what is not seen, what is not heard, what is not experienced, and what is not known. The intention requires that we must know we are lying, unintentionally providing mistaken information is not lying.  We must be determined to lie, and we must be motivated by delusion.  Lies can sometimes take the form of non-verbal actions such as making physical gestures, by writing, or even by remaining silent.  The action of lying is complete when the person to whom the lie is directed has understood our meaning and believes what we have said or indicated.  If the other person does not understand, then our action is not complete.

Of all the Pratimoksha downfalls, I think this one is our most frequent.  Most of us lie all the time, directly or indirectly, in big and in subtle ways.  A very fun way of seeing this is to rent the movie Liar Liar with Jim Carey.  In the movie, I can’t remember why, but he has to always tell the exact truth.  This helps show us the many different ways we lie throughout our day because we see how we would likely lie in those situations.  In a similar way, it is a very useful exercise to at least once a month take an entire day to focus on just this one aspect of our practice of moral discipline.  Make a concerted effort to pay attention that you never mislead people, even slightly.

Will this get us into trouble with others when they hear what we really think?  Yes, it will.  So we might say, “then wouldn’t it be better to not say anything to them so as to not upset them?”  In the short run, that might be true, but that is not a good enough answer.  The correct answer is we need to change what we think about others so that we can tell everyone what we really think, and instead of that making them upset it makes them feel loved and cared for.  We can always tell the truth if we only have loving kindness in our heart. 

I think it is also useful to make a distinction between lying and speaking non-truths.  The difference usually turns around whether there is delusion present in our mind or not.  Not telling your kids what you got them for Christmas, or even telling them something that is not true, is not lying.  Failing to mention that you are going to the Dharma center or to a festival to your relative who thinks you have joined some cult and you know saying something would just upset them is not lying, it is being skillful.  Ultimately, there is no objective truth, so the question arises what then is a valid basis for establishing the truth.  Geshe-la, Venerable Tharchin, and Gen-la Losang all say (in one manner or another) that “what is true or not true is not the point, what matters is what is most beneficial to believe.”  For example, we might say strongly believing we are the deity or that we have taken on all the suffering or living beings or that we have purified all our negative karma are lies because they are not true.  This is not the point.  The point is what is most beneficial to believe.  Believing we are a deity, have purified all our negative karma, or have taken on all the suffering and delusions of others is not true objectively (nothing is), but believing we have done these things functions to complete the mental karma of self-generation, purification, and taking practice.  Our training is to engage in these mental actions and believing we have done so is how we complete these mental actions, thus planting the desired karma on our mind.

Venerable Tharchin explains that from a Dharma point of view, what establishes what is true is “what is most beneficial to believe.”  So if it is beneficial to believe something, it is truth.  It may not be objectively true, but it is a belief that moves in the direction of ultimate truth.  In other words, believing any idea that takes us in the direction of ultimate truth can be established as “truth,” and so saying or thinking it is not lying.  Helping others believe these things is not lying, it is wise compassion. 

But if we are misleading others for selfish reasons, or out of anger, fear or attachment, then there is no doubt we are lying.  We need to know the difference.

To abandon sexual misconduct

For this vow, the object of our sexual misconduct is if we have a vow of celibacy, it is any other person; if we are not celibate and we have a partner, it is anyone other than our partner; if we are not celibate and do not have a partner, it is anyone else’s partner, our own parent, a child, anyone with a vow of celibacy, pregnant women, animals, or anyone who does not consent.  As far as the intention is concerned, we must know that they are an object of sexual misconduct.  We must be determined to commit sexual misconduct.  And we must be motivated by delusion.  Usually it is committed out of desirous attachment.  As far as the preparation is concerned, there are many ways to engage in this action but we already know all those!  This action is complete when sexual bliss is experienced by means of the union of the two sex organs.  This last point on the action being completed sometimes gives rise to the question, “well then is it sexual misconduct if our sex organs do not come into union?”  The answer to this question is very simple:  if you think your partner would object, then it is not OK.  Full stop.

Please note, within Kadampa Buddhism, heterosexuality and homosexuality are treated in exactly the same way, there is no difference.  Please note, it also does not include masturbation (though for ordained people, this does weaken their vows, though it doesn’t break them).  Finally please note, this also doesn’t say it is wrong to engage in sexual activity for reasons other than procreation, it says nothing about anything being wrong with birth control, etc., etc., etc. 

I have posted in the past why people engage in affairs (you can find it by doing a search of the archive).  The short version is we relate to our partner and to sexual activity in the same way we relate to any other object of attachment, like pizza.  The first few pieces are good, but the more we eat the less we enjoy it.  Other foods start to look more appealing, so we switch to eating something else.  This is the completely wrong understanding of sexual actions.  Sexual actions are opportunities to cherish others and give them happiness, not something we consume for ourselves.  We derive our enjoyment from loving others and making them happy.  Sexual activity is an opportunity to draw very close to somebody else and deepen a relationship.  If we don’t get our attitude towards sexual activity correct, then even if it is not sexual misconduct, it is still not necessarily a good thing for us. 

It is not at all uncommon for one partner in a couple to have stronger sexual desire than the other, and this can be a source of frustration and a temptation to go elsewhere.  Aside from the fact that there are other means to relieve oneself, we should view these gaps in sexual desire as emanated by Dorje Shugden to give us an opportunity to bring our sexual attachment under a bit more control.  In this sense, it is a similitude of the ordination vows of celibacy.  We are essentially saying we will be celibate with everybody except our partner.  Bringing our sexual attachment under control is not easy, but it is still necessary.  Buddha said the three biggest chains holding us in samsara are sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll (well, those weren’t his exact words, but the meaning was the same).  If we don’t bring our sexual attachment under control, it will be very difficult to escape from samsara.  From this perspective, the difference between an ordained person and a lay person in a committed relationship is not that different.  We have much we can learn from each other.

If we have strong sexual attachment, we can pursue a multi-prong strategy.  First, we should read Chapter 8 in Meaningful to Behold again and again to help us reduce our exaggerated notions of the attractiveness of another human body.  I love breasts, I will admit it, but if we check they are just bags of fat.  Second, as best we can, we should avoid things that fuel the fire, such as pornography, etc.  But the reality is sexual imagery is omni-present in our society, so there is no avoiding it.  But there is a difference between encountering it as we go about our life and seeking it out compulsively. 

Third, and this is the most important, we need to get to the point where we want to get out of samsara more than we want its pleasures.  We are desire realm beings, which means we have no choice but to pursue our desires.  If in our heart our desire is still dominated by sexual attachment, if we try to force ourselves to avoid making contact, etc., then all we will do is just repress the desires.  They will build up, and eventually we will give in and do something we subsequently regret.  This is not Dharma practice.  Dharma practice is a very active process of picking apart and reducing our desirous attachment primarily by (1) reducing our exaggerated attitudes down to something in line with the underlying reality of what is actually there, and (2) considering the disadvantages of following the delusion.  There are few delusions that create more problems for living beings than sexual attachment.  Just open any newspaper or consider your own life for more than 3 seconds and you will have plenty of material to work with.  At the same time, we need to consider the advantages of not following the delusion.  Every time a delusion arises but we choose to not follow it understanding it to be deceptive, we are engaging in the practice of moral discipline.  Each action of moral discipline creates the cause for a higher rebirth.  So quite literally, if in a given 5-minute period we successfully see through the lies of our sexual attachment and not follow it, say 20 times, then we just created 20 causes for 20 future higher rebirths.  What will bring more happiness, five minutes of some porn video or an entire lifetime in the upper realms?  Are we ready to sacrifice one for the other?  If so, which one will we sacrifice?  If we value the happiness of our future lives as much as we value our present happiness (the definition of a spiritual being) then the choice becomes obvious. 

There is much more that can be said, but I will stop here. 

To abandon killing. 

Geshe-la explains the object of killing is any other being from the smallest insect to a Buddha.  As explained above, four factors must be present.  First, for our intention, we must have correct identification of the person we intend to kill.  We also need a determination to kill the person we have correctly identified.  Killing by accident is not a complete action.  Our mind must also be influenced by delusion, specifically anger, attachment, or ignorance.  It is possible to kill out of compassion to save the lives of others, but this requires great wisdom and courage.  Killing out of compassion is not a downfall, since compassion is not a delusion.  The action also requires preparation, namely we prepare the means to engage in the action.  This includes having others do the action for us or engaging in the action as a group.  Finally, it requires the completion – the action must be completed, the person actually is killed.

The reality is we are killing all the time.  Every time we scratch our arm, we are no doubt killing thousands of tiny bacteria or microbes.  Even if we don’t eat meat, we are indirectly killing thousands who died in the rice paddies or to the pesticides sprayed on our food.  Samsara is a slaughterhouse, and everything we do essentially kills.  This doesn’t mean we are doomed and it also doesn’t mean we shouldn’t bother trying to not kill because it is unavoidable.  What it means is we need to do our best to lead as low impact of a life as we can.  We should work gradually to kill less and less while working within our capacity and the karmic conditions we find ourselves in.

To abandon stealing. 

The object of stealing is anything that someone else regards as their own.  This includes other living beings.  If we take something that no one claims to possess, the action of stealing is not complete.  Like with killing, the intention must include a correct identification of the object of stealing, a determination to steal, and our mind must be influenced by delusion, usually desirous attachment, but sometimes out of hatred of wishing to harm our enemy.  It can also sometimes be out of ignorance thinking their stealing is justified such as not paying taxes or fines, or stealing from our employer is OK.  Stealing also requires preparation.  It may be done secretly or openly, using methods such as bribery, blackmail, or emotional manipulation.  Finally, it must also include completion.  The action is complete when we think to ourself ‘this object is now mine.’

In modern life we have countless opportunities to steal and we often take advantage of most of them.  Common examples include not giving money back when we have been given too much change at the store, accidentally walking out with some good we didn’t purchase and not making an effort to go back and pay for it, stealing work supplies from work for our personal use, stealing our employers time by doing personal things on company time beyond what is conventionally acceptable in your work place (most work environments allow you a limited amount of personal administrative time.  The point is don’t go beyond what is intended by your employer).  Another very common form of stealing is lying on our taxes so that we pay less.  We come up with all sorts of justifications for why this is OK, but it is still stealing.  Stealing can also include saying certain clever things to cause something to come to us when it would otherwise normally go to somebody else.  One of the most common forms of stealing these days is downloading pirated music or videos, or copying and using software we didn’t pay for.  Again, our rationalizations for such behavior know no limits, but it is still stealing.  The test for whether we are stealing or not is very simple:  if we asked the creator of the piece, would they say it’s legitimately ours?  If not, it was stealing.

Stealing is incredibly short-sighted.  Anybody who feels tempted to steal should take a few hours driving through a really poor neighborhood or they should go visit a very poor country or watch a documentary on global poverty.  You can find plenty of material just on YouTube.  When we see these things, we should remind ourselves that this is our future if we steal.  When we steal we create the causes to have nothing in the future.  Giving is the cause of wealth, taking is the cause of poverty.  It is as simple as that.  Why are Bill Gates and Warren Buffet so rich?  Because they have the mental habits on their mind to give away everything.  Because they did this in the past, they become incredibly rich in this life.  Because they are again giving away all their wealth, in future lives they will again be incredibly rich.  Just as they are external philanthropists, a Bodhisattva is an inner philanthropist.  We seek vast inner wealth so that we can have even more to give away. 

The Pratimoksha vows are the vows of individual liberation.  Just as the refuge vows primarily function to maintain an uninterrupted continuum of our Buddhist practice between now and our eventual enlightenment, so too training in the Pratimoksha vows primarily functions to maintain an uninterrupted continuum of our intermediate scope practice between now and our eventual enlightenment.  This is important because there are many spiritual paths in the world which will help us attain a better rebirth in samsara, but there are few paths indeed which will help us actually get out of samsara.  In fact, we can say only those paths which teach the Madhyamika Prasangika view of emptiness will actually lead to liberation from samsara as defined by the Buddhist path.  I am not saying attaining a better rebirth within samsara is not good, rather I am saying it is just not good enough. 

What does it mean to escape from samsara?  To answer this question, we need to know what is samsara.  Samsara is uncontrolled rebirth into contaminated aggregates.  Humans suffer from human suffering because they uncontrolledly project their I onto human aggregates of body and mind.  Animals suffer from animal suffering because they uncontrolledly impute their I onto an animal’s body and mind.  The same is true for hungry spirits, hell beings, demi-gods, and gods.  To escape from samsara is to gain control over what we impute our I onto.  When we have such control, instead of uncontrolledly imputing it onto the body and mind of a samsaric being, we controlledly impute it onto the body and mind of a liberated or enlightened being.  When we can do this, we will have become ourselves a liberated or enlightened being.

At a practical level, we can say our samsara is our delusions and our dying body.  Our delusions and our dying body create all sorts of problems for us that we are forced to endure.  If we can learn to break our identification with our delusions and our body, then what happens to them will not be happening to us.

At a more profound level, samsara can best be thought of as us being trapped in an uncontrolled dream.  Right now, our dream is not too bad!  We are human, have all our faculties, sufficient resources, pleasant surroundings, etc.  But this will not last.  We know this because the karma giving rise to such appearances is quickly exhausting itself and we are doing little to nothing to create more karma for similar lives.  Once we have burned up our merit giving rise to this particular pleasant dream, it will revert to something much more awful.  Once that happens, it will be almost impossible to get back to the good dream, like the sea turtle trying to get its head through that golden yoke.  It is said that it is easier to attain enlightenment (wake up from the karmic dream) once we have become human than it is to become human again after we have fallen into a lower state. 

I once had a dream where I was being chased by some monsters.  They trapped me and there was no escape.  But then I realized I was dreaming and I requested blessings to be able to wake up.  I then did, and I escaped the monsters.  There was no escape in the dream, but there was an escape by waking up.  It is exactly the same with samsara.  We can travel anywhere within samsara and we will find no escape.  There is no hiding within samsara from its inevitable sufferings.  The only way to escape them is to wake up.  Waking up is not easy.  It runs counter to almost all the mental habits we have built up since beginningless time.  But if we don’t encounter a path that leads to us waking up, then waking up is actually impossible.  We will remain trapped forever.  So our choice is rather stark:  either we train in our Pratimoksha vows and be guaranteed to eventually awake or we don’t and remain trapped forever.  There is, unfortunately, no middle ground.

This does not mean we need to keep them all perfectly.  Rather, it means we need to never abandon the intention to keep trying to do a little bit better every day.  If we maintain this intention, and carry it with us into our death, we will refind the path again in our next life.  Some people have a mistaken understanding that somehow the Pratimoksha vows are different than the other vows.  We believe that somehow these vows are black and white, on or off, and that we don’t just maintain our intention to do our best.  This may be true for ordained Sangha with regard to certain vows, but even there there are many shades of gray.   But for lay practitioners, we should consider such vows like we do any other.  We do our best to do a little bit better every day.  It is better to keep them imperfectly and be happy about our training than to expect perfection, fall short and then do nothing. 

At a very technical level, the Pratimoksha vows are broken when four factors are present:  The object, the intention, the preparation, and the completion.  A full intention requires three factors to be present:  correct discrimination, determination, and delusion.  To be authentic Pratimoksha vows they must be taken with at least a motivation of renunciation.

If we have not yet received Pratimoksha vows, we should request our local teacher to grant them and to provide a commentary.  In subsequent posts, I will explain each lay Pratimoksha vow in turn.

To perform every action with complete trust in the Three Jewels. 

We should rely upon the Three Jewels in everything we do.  In this way all our actions will be successful.  We should always try to receive the blessings of the Three Jewels by making offerings and requests.  In previous posts, I have discussed extensively how we rely upon the guru’s mind alone for all that we do.  I encourage you to read the different special series I have done which explain this.  But the short version is this:  if you have a choice of a hammer or a nail gun, which will you choose?  If you have a choice of a soap box derby car or a Ferrari, which would you choose?  In the same way, if you have a choice of having your ordinary body, speech and mind being the source of all your actions or the enlightened body, speech and mind of your Spiritual Guide being the source of all your actions, which would you choose?  Most of us simply don’t realize we can become an instrument of the holy beings in this world, and many of those that do know this don’t know how to become one.  But once we know it is possible and we know how to do it, our life takes on a whole new purpose.  We come to have one goal alone:  to rely upon the three jewels for all that we do.

Omniscient beings know how to do our jobs better than we do, they know how to parent better than we do, they know how to get along with others better than we do, they know what paths to follow and which ones to abandon better than we do, they speak kinder, think wiser and act better than we do.  They even brush our teeth better than we do!  Frankly, there is nothing positive we do better than they do.  So why do we foolishly do things ourselves when we can learn to let them do everything through us. 

Never to forsake the Three Jewels, even at the cost of our life, or as a joke. 

We should never abandon the three Jewels under any circumstances.  What does it mean to abandon the three jewels?  It does not mean to forget about them.  This happens all the time.  Rather, it means to come to the conclusion that they are wrong.  This can take any number of forms, such as us concluding they are wrong about the nature of our problem, or they are wrong about delusions being deceptive, or they are wrong about non-virtuous actions are to be avoided, or they are wrong about the need to escape from samsara, or they are wrong about why it is better to cherish and love others, or they are wrong about the ultimate meaning of human life, or they are wrong about the ultimate nature of reality.  If we come to any of these conclusions, then this would be forsaking the three jewels. 

The reality is there are very few people who maintain a constancy in their Dharma practice throughout their life.  There are many people who come into the Dharma, have a great few years, and then move on to the next thing.  It is not bad that this happens.  It is good that they have a few years with the Dharma and leave happy.  The Dharma remains with them, influencing their behavior and thoughts in a myriad of ways, and then in their next life they stay a bit longer.  One of the biggest mistakes Dharma teachers and Dharma centers make is they become attached to people coming to all the classes and staying at the center.  Attachment creates the causes to be separated from the objects of our attachment.  Our attachment to people coming (badk) actually creates the karmic causes to destroy the spiritual life of the other person.  People are not stupid.  They know when they are being emotionally manipulated with the Dharma to get them to do things they otherwise wouldn’t do.  In the short-run, this may work; but over time they start to no longer believe us that we are just trying to help them (they think we are trying to use them for our own purposes), they lose faith and they move on. 

Any amount of Dharma is a good thing.  So let people partake of what they wish and move on when they wish.  The most important thing is to help them be happy with whatever they do do, and not feel judged for all the things they don’t do.  Even if people move on in their lives and stop coming, if we can succeed in them leaving with a happy, no regrets mind then the Dharma will remain with them their whole life.  If instead, we unskillfully say they are killing their spiritual life and blah blah blah, making them feel guilty or bad, then all that they gained from their time with us will be lost as they reject everything.  We shouldn’t project an all or nothing attitude, rather we should project a “take freely what you wish and enjoy” attitude. 

Some people will stay for a few classes, some will stay for a few years and some will stay their whole life.  Some will only go to festivals, some will just read the books, some will just come for the tea and cookies.  Some will be serious about their meditation practice, some will just be looking for some friends.  It’s all good and we should welcome all it.  If we don’t, then we are forsaking the Dharma.

With compassion, always to encourage others to go for refuge. 

We should do this skillfully by helping those who are interested to develop the causes of going for refuge, namely fear of samsara’s suffering and faith in the Three Jewels.  Geshe-la says by tactfully (without being arrogant or impatient) explaining the samsaric situation we are in, the other person will begin to lose his or her complacency and will naturally want to find out what can be done.  At this point we explain the objects of refuge and how we go for refuge.  At least we should give proper advice to those who are unhappy and help them to solve their problems by means of Dharma. 

But we need to be careful here.  The meaning is not for us to get on our soap box, go down to the train station and start shouting the good news for all to hear!  Generally speaking, we don’t offer advice to people unless they ask us for it and we are sufficiently confident that they are open to hearing what we have to say.  Otherwise, it is usually better to say nothing.  When we offer people unsolicited advice, they usually react in the same way we do:  they get defensive and reject what we are saying. 

At a practical level, unless we are talking to other Dharma practitioners, we need to learn how to express Dharma ideas with non-Dharma words.  If people feel like we are some religious zealot or weirdo, we will not inspire others to enter the path.  They will think to become Buddhist means to start acting all strange.  The most important thing to do when talking to others is to help them make the distinction between their outer problem and their inner problem.  If they see that distinction, then it becomes natural to seek out different solutions for different problems.  We can then offer different ways of looking at the situation.  99% of the time, our perspective is always the same:  we explain, “yeah, externally that sucks.  But I guess it gives you a chance to work on improving your (then insert human quality, like patience, love, compassion, whatever). 

Gen Losang once told the story of his Dad.  Apparently his Dad used to work in the human resources department of some giant corporation.  And his job was to go mediate disputes that arose among the employees.  He would go talk to all the people involved and hear what was going on.  But Losang’s Dad apparently was incapable of seeing things as a “problem.”  He always saw how the same set of facts was actually an opportunity for something else that everybody wanted.  When he would talk to people, he would just explain how he saw it.  He didn’t impose his view on others, he just said how he saw things.  When people saw how the situation could be viewed differently and in a more healthy and indeed productive way, then they naturally adopted that view and the “problem” went away.  He was apparently quite good at this.

In exactly the same way, this is our job as Kadampas in the modern world.  For us, we just don’t see things as problems, so when people talk to us, we just explain how we see it or how we would relate to the situation.  We don’t force our view on others, we just share our perspective and let others do with it what they wish. 

Every day I make three requests to Dorje Shugden:  “(1) Please arrange everything so that it is perfect for everyone’s swiftest possible enlightenment, (2) please bless me with the wisdom to realize how whatever happens is perfect for everyone, and (3) please arrange the opportunities for me to share my perspective with others.”  These three requests are really all we need to be able to become the magical crystal that heals the world.  With the first request, we can know for a fact that whatever happens to anybody is in fact absolutely perfect for them.  We might now know how or why this is true, but we know it is true.  Accepting things are perfect actually opens our mind to receive wisdom blessings to understand/realize how they are perfect.  When we still grasp at things as being imperfect, our mind remains closed to such blessings.  With the second request, we create the causes to receive the actual blessings where we, from our side, see and understand how everything is in fact perfect for each person.  With the third request, Dorje Shugen will arrange the outer and inner conditions, both in our mind and in their mind, so that we can share our perspective with others when they are ready to hear it.  If somebody comes to us for help and we don’t know what to say, we should quickly mentally make these three requests while the person is talking.  Mentally fill the universe with mandala offerings requesting wisdom blessings.  Generate a mind of faith and then get out of the way and let your guru speak through you to help the other person.  

To go for refuge at least three times during the day and three times during the night, remembering the benefits of going for refuge. 

We should try to go for refuge once every four hours. Geshe-la says we should be like a businessman who never forgets his projects even while he is relaxing.

In the beginning, we practice this usually in conjunction with our offering what we eat.  We eat or drink many times a day, so we take advantage of those times to fulfill this commitment.  While it would be ideal to wake up in the middle of the night and recall the benefits of refuge, the reality would be quite difficult for most of us.  But there are things we can do for the night.  We all go through REM cycles, and at some point in the night we either roll over or get up to go to the bathroom.  When we do this, we can briefly recall our refuge and then go back to bed.  Then it becomes something quite natural, not something rigid like setting our alarm clock for every four hours.  When my kids were very little and we had to feed them in the night, I would remember my refuge as I was feeding them their bottle.  The real meaning of this vow is we need to remember our practice day and night, all the time.  If we check, we will see we spend all day problem solving.  We have no trouble remembering to problem solve, our difficulty is remembering what our problem is.  Again, what enables us to do this is maintaining a very clear wisdom understanding of the difference between out outer and inner problems.  When we think our problem is the outer problem, we spend all our mental energy planning how to solve our outer problem and we just assume this will take care of our inner problem.  But when we maintain a constant awareness of the distinction between these two types of problem, then we will start investing time and energy into solving our problem (as well as the outer problem).  Then, we will have no difficulty maintaining this commitment.