Vows, commitments and modern life: Forsaking those who have broken their moral discipline

Downfalls that obstruct the perfection of moral discipline

Forsaking those who have broken their moral discipline. 

We incur a secondary downfall if we ignore with a judgmental or self-righteous attitude those who have broken their moral discipline.  This also advises that we should keep the intention to help all living beings, including those who have broken their moral discipline.

This is something we do all of the time.  We judge people for their shortcomings and for their failings.  Who amongst us has not fallen short?  Who amongst us has never fallen flat on their face?  Yet when we see others do the same we judge and condemn them.  We lose all respect for them and start taking our distance from them.  Somebody who has broken their moral discipline did so either out of ignorance or out of a lack of strength, but either way they are an object of compassion and understanding, not contempt and judgment. 

Not acting in ways that cause others to generate faith. 

To help others effectively it is necessary to conduct ourselves in a way that causes them to develop confidence in us.  If we fail to do this but retain bad habits that are likely to attract criticism, we incur a secondary downfall.  This also advises us to keep pure moral discipline to show a good example to others so as to increase others’ faith in us.

The reality is this:  our words only count for about 10-20% of what we communicate, our actions and behavior are the rest.  We could have the most pure speech alive, but if our actions are not consistent with our speech, it will have no power.  People have more confidence in somebody who is negative but doesn’t pretend to be otherwise than they do somebody with pure speech but is a hypocrite.  We could say nothing at all, but if our actions were pure and consistent with the Dharma, our simple living would be a powerful teaching to all who know us.  At the end of the day, it is our example more than anything else that matters.  So we need to be mindful of how others perceive us. 

This doesn’t mean we need to be fake about it, pretending to be somebody we are not.  Kadam Morten said there are two types of master, the one who shows the final result and the one who shows the example of getting there.  And in the end, he said, the latter is the more beneficial.  It is much more beneficial to others for us to “keep it real” in our example than try to pretentiously carry ourselves off as some holy being.  Nobody is better at this than Gen-la Khyenrab.  There is absolutely nothing pretentious about him, yet there is no denying his deep experience and understanding of the Dharma.  It is because he is just an “everyday” sort of guy that is the demonstration of his greatness.  He is completely approachable, down to earth, humble and friendly, yet at the same time unbelievably wise and realized.  He just cuts through the crap like nobody else.  All we need do is be ourselves – a practitioner doing their best to put the instructions into practice, while making mistakes and learning from them.  This is the best example.  Not some pious, uptight, phony. 

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Not accepting gifts and not giving Dharma

Not accepting gifts. 

If we are given gifts and, without a good reason, we refuse them merely out of pride, anger, or laziness we incur a secondary downfall.  This also advises that we should use gifts from others in the most meaningful way.

Again, I have really struggled with this one.  I like giving gifts, but I frankly really don’t like it when others give me gifts.  Gifts are not just presents, but also it can be people doing favors for us.  As a general rule, I never ask others for favors unless I absolutely have to.  In all of my relationships I like to make sure I have always done significantly more favors for others than they have done for me.  I really dislike feeling like I owe others something or I am indebted to them in some way.  But sometimes this behavior can be taken to an extreme.  Others want to help out and they want to repay some of my past favors and to deny them the opportunity to do so is to deny them the opportunity to engage in virtue themselves. 

Likewise, there are some people – myself included – who are too proud to accept the help of others.  Sometimes we need help to get out of a situation we are in.  If due to our pride we fail to reach out to others for help when we need it, who are we helping?  We are unnecessarily bad off, and sometimes we can be in over our head and our situation can become much worse.  When that happens, we then have to ask people for help, but now we are asking for much more.  We shouldn’t be like this.  Likewise, by seeking help from others we can sometimes accomplish much more than if we do everything ourselves, and so therefore we can help even more people.  So in an effort to accomplish great things, we ask for help from others.

I think a good middle way here is a 3 to 1 or a 4 to 1 ratio.  We help others 3 or 4 times for every one time we ask something of them.  This keeps us on the side of giving more than we take but still we give others a chance to give back and seek out help when we could really need it.  There is nothing cosmically true about this ratio, rather it is just what seems to work for me in my life.

Not giving Dharma to those who desire it. 

If someone with a sincere desire to practice Dharma requests us to teach them, and without a good reason, we refuse merely out of laziness we incur a secondary downfall.  Valid reasons for not teaching include:  we do not know the subject well enough, it is not suitable to teach them, others will be unhappy, we are ill, we do not have the free time, and so on.  This also advises us that whenever we have a chance we should try to eliminate the darkness of ignorance from the minds of others by giving Dharma teachings.

Just as the greatest offering we can make to the Buddhas is our own practice of Dharma, so too the greatest act of giving we can perform is giving Dharma.  Why?  Ordinary gifts can at best help people in this life, but the gift of Dharma helps people in all of their future lives.

Giving Dharma doesn’t just mean giving formal Dharma teachings or using a lot of Dharma jargon when we talk to people.  Giving Dharma means understanding what is mentally ailing somebody else and giving them a wiser perspective on their situation.  It is giving them a new way of looking at things so that instead of their situation being a problem for them, it becomes an opportunity to grow or learn.  We don’t need Dharma words to do this, and in fact in most situations Dharma words actually get in the way.  We should try use normal, everyday speech that everyone knows and understands.  With our Dharma friends, our Dharma words are like a shorthand for quickly getting to the meaning we want to refer to, but as a general rule we should speak with others completely normally.  We all know people who come across like they are a religious fanatic or somebody who is brainwashed.  We usually reject them and everything they have to say.  Part of modern skillful means is learning how to transmit Dharma meanings using normal modern words and references.

If we do have the opportunity to give formal teachings, we should most definitely do so.  If we look at things from a karmic perspective, there really is no higher job than that of a Dharma teacher.  Sure, the external rewards are virtually non-existent, but the internal rewards are eternally flowing.  Every time you help somebody else understand the Dharma, you create the cause for somebody else to help you easily understand the Dharma in the future.  We all know those people who the Dharma just comes easily to, and they almost instinctively understand at a very deep level everything they are being taught.  Why is this?  Because in the past they used to be Dharma teachers and they helped others understand the Dharma. 

Ultimately, there is nothing to do in this world other than wake up.  If we have wisdom, we will realize there is no point in pursuing any other goal.  This does not mean we need to abandon our jobs and families, rather it means we need to view our jobs and family time primarily through the lens of the opportunities these activities afford us to train our mind in virtue.  Every external resource we have finds its meaning when used for the sake of realizations, either of ourself or of others.  This does not mean just Dharma realizations as gained through a formal Dharma class, but instead can take the form of learning about training through piano lessons, learning about overcoming discouragement when learning a hard language like Chinese, gaining skillful means when dealing with problematic co-workers etc.  On the outside, these may not appear to be Dharma classes, but for the modern Kadampa every day is a class.

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Not replying to others and not accepting invitations

Not replying to others

If someone greets us in a friendly and courteous manner, and without a good reason, we give no reply we incur a secondary downfall.  This also advises us to try make others’ minds happy by giving them answers and advice.

Why do we need to do this?  The answer is obvious.  When we say hi to somebody and they ignore us, how do we feel?  What do we think about the other person?  We don’t want to make others feel this way.  While of course the minimum is to return the basic level of cultural politeness, as Bodhisattvas, we need to go one step further – we need to be genuinely delighted to see the other person.

It suffices to watch 5 year olds on a playground to know and appreciate the difference.  When they see one of their friends, their faces light up with delight.  This then makes the friend likewise light up and everyone is very happy.  How good does it make us feel when we haven’t seen somebody we really like in a long time and when we see them they are really happy to see us – their face lights up like a child on a playground.  It makes us feel warm and loved inside.  This is how we need to make others feel with our own reaction to seeing them.  The sun warms all around, and in the same way the Bodhisattva warms the heart of all around with their delight at seeing people.

Now of course we can’t be over the top with this and act in conventionally strange ways.  We need to calibrate the intensity of our outward expression of delight to not go outside normal cultural conventions or to make the other person feel uncomfortable, but we should be like the sun. 

Not accepting invitations. 

If someone with a good motivation invites us to do something and without a good reason we decline merely out of pride, laziness, or anger, we incur a secondary downfall.  Valid reasons for declining are we are sick, do not have the time, it would make others unhappy, or it would be a danger to our Dharma practice.

To be honest, I have struggled with this one over the years.  I usually want to do my own thing.  I have my own plans and my own projects, and I work so hard both at work and at home that I frankly don’t usually want to go over to friend’s houses, etc.  I would just as soon stay at home and relax.  I also generally am not too fond of the normal banter and chit chat of social gatherings, finding it to be largely meaningless and a waste of time.  There have been many times when I have received invitations and my own selfish instinct is to say I am busy and I can’t go, but then I remember this vow and force myself to go. 

When I go, I am forced to confront all sorts of delusions in my mind.  First, I must overcome the selfishness of not being able to do what I want to do.  Second, I must learn to overcome my tendency to just sit in the corner and not engage with anybody else, but instead to go out and connect with people.  Third, I have to get over my Dharma snobbery thinking everything others have to say is meaningless.  What nonsense!  Everyone is a living being with a story.  Everyone has their troubles and their wisdoms.  Each new person is really like a nicely wrapped Christmas present and you don’t know what you will find inside by asking them about their lives, being interested in who they are, etc.  Everyone has a lifetime worth of acquired wisdom and they are usually happy to share it with me if only I bother to ask and learn.  Fourth, one of the most important skills of a Bodhisattva is the ability to actively listen to others.  Venerable Tharchin is the master at this.  There have been many meetings I have had with him where, in the end, he said almost nothing – but the way he listened itself answered all of my questions for me as I told my story. 

Professionally, I am a diplomat, so a big part of my job is – frankly – making friends with other people.  It is not just making friends for the sake of making friends, but finding out what everyone is doing and seeing if there are opportunities to collaborate on common projects, etc.  Sometimes I will encounter people who are vehemently opposed to something the U.S. government is doing or even people who are spying on me trying to figure things out.  Each person I meet is like a mirror revealing to me some weakness in myself, and by learning to get along with the person I have the opportunity to correct for that weakness.  It is only by breaking out of our safe cocoon and accepting the invitations we receive that we can do so.  You never know who you will meet or where that encounter may lead!

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Being disrespectful to those who have received Bodhisattva vows before us.

This downfall is fairly self-explanatory.  This also advises us show respect for senior Bodhisattva Sangha in order to increase our merit.

What does it mean to be disrespectful?  We can just ask ourselves how we behave when we are with the important people in our life.  If we met the President or the Queen or Geshe-la, how would we behave?  How would we not behave?  It is the same with everybody else we meet.  We don’t know who has or who has not taken Bodhisattva vows, so just to be safe we should be respectful towards everyone.  Being respectful does not mean being uptight, intimidated and unnatural.  Part of being respectful is being relaxed around others.  But certainly being respectful includes listening attentively to what they say, not criticizing others, not undermining them, not making them feel bad, marginalizing them, excluding them or ignoring them.  It means not being frustrated with them, etc. 

When we are with somebody who we know has already taken bodhisattva vows, we need to be particularly respectful.  This is very important.  The reality is in this world, most communities have dysfunction dynamics between the members of that community.  This is not surprising because if we have deluded minds and behavior, we will bring them into the communities we belong to.  But a Sangha community needs to be different.  We may still act in deluded ways towards each other, but we will also accept each other, forgive each other and remain loyal to each other.  We may create silly dramas, but afterwards we will have a good laugh with each other about how stupid we were acting.  If we can’t learn how to get along with our Sangha friends, who are all like us trying to cherish others, what chance do we have of getting along with other non-Sangha people in this world?  With our Sangha we learn how to have healthy relationships, and then we use those relationships as models of how we should be with everyone else. 

This does not mean that in a Dharma community everyone needs to pretend to get along and avoid rocking the boat.  That won’t work since it will just lead to repression and superficial relationships.  Conflicts will arise, problems will arise.  This is normal.  What distinguishes a spiritual community from a non-spiritual one is how those conflicts and problems are resolved.  Geshe-la explained in Kadampa communities we need to have open and frank conversations with others while accepting defeat and offering the victory.  How do we do this?  If there is somebody who we have a problem with, we can approach them saying, “I know this is my problem since it is my delusions, etc., but when you do X, it generates Y delusion in me.  This is something I need to work on, I know.  It would help me to do so if I understood your perspective on your actions.  Perhaps there is something I am not understanding correctly, and if I did, I would no longer have a problem with this.”  If we approach people in this way, we are not running away pretending that everything is OK when it is not, but at the same time we are not accusing the other person but instead taking full responsibility for our own feelings and delusions in the matter.  If we approach people in this way, either the other person will clarify their perspective on the matter and that will pacify our mind or the other person will realize their errors and change.  Either way, everybody is better off.  If they get angry and defensive, you can say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come across as an attack.  Again, as I said, this is my problem.”  But most people are reasonable, and if you approach them in a reasonable, non-threatening way, they will likewise respond favorably to your efforts.

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Indulging in worldly pleasures out of attachment.

Whenever we enjoy worldly pleasures we should do so with a bodhichitta motivation.  If we fail to do this and indulge in them out of attachment or discontent we incur a secondary downfall.  This vow also advises us to transform our daily activities into the Bodhisattva’s way of life by continually maintaining a bodhichitta motivation.

What are worldly pleasures?  From an external point of view, they are quite simply all of the things we normally do to enjoy ourselves, such as go out to restaurants, see movies, hang out with friends, go on vacation to exotic and beautiful places, etc.  It also includes things like alcohol, sex, etc.  With the possible exception of drinking alcohol, which if we have taken Pratimoksha vows is considered a downfall, none of these so called worldly pleasures in and of themselves are a problem.  The essential function of Kadampa Buddhism is to attain the union of the Kadam Dharma and modern life.  All of these things are entirely normal parts of modern life.  So we do not need to abandon them, nor do we need to stop enjoying them.  What needs to change – the only thing that needs to change – is the mind with which we enjoy them.  In simple terms, we need to try enjoy these things for spiritual reasons, not attachment thinking these things, in and of themselves, are causes of our happiness.  In French we say, “prendre plaisir sans saisir,” which basically means take pleasure without grasping at it.

So what are some spiritual ways to enjoy modern enjoyments?  Venerable Tharchin explains that ultimately the key question for any enjoyment is whether or not we are imputing “mine” on it.  If we are, we are burning up our merit.  If we are imputing “others’” onto it, then we will accumulate merit.  The easiest way of doing so is to imagine that we have a Buddha at our heart and as we partake of the enjoyment we are actually offering it to the Buddha at our heart.  It simply passes through us on route to the Buddha.  If we enjoy things in this way, instead of burning up our merit from our enjoyments we will accumulate even more merit.  Likewise, whenever we enjoy things we can do so with others and we can offer the activity to them.  For example, when I go out to a restaurant with others, I can think I am offering them a meal.  Or I am taking my kids to a movie, or taking my family on a vacation.  I am doing these things for them, and I am just going along to help them have a good time. 

We can likewise view many of our enjoyable activities as opportunities to learn something.  When we go for a walk in the park, we see all sorts of different things – couples fighting, parents struggling with their kids, homeless people, drunk people, whatever.  Each one of these things is teaching us some aspect of the Dharma.  What we see on TV can teach us all sorts of Dharma lessons.  Our ability to extract Dharma lessons from our daily appearances primarily depends on two things.  First, it depends on us actually looking for Dharma lessons in everything we encounter.  If we are looking for spiritual meaning, it is not hard to find it.  If we are not even looking, it is almost impossible to find any.  Second, it depends upon us receiving blessings.  Ultimately, any Dharma understanding we gain depends upon us receiving blessings from the holy beings.  They bless our mind, activating certain karmic seeds on our mind which ripen in the form of some new spiritual understanding.  To receive blessings through everything we merely need to view everything as in fact emanated by our Spiritual Guide.  If we view everything as emanated, we will receive blessings through everything, and everything will teach us the Dharma.  In this way, we can go anywhere, do anything and none of it will be indulging in worldly enjoyments out of attachment, rather it will be us enjoying our modern life in a Kadampa way – a true uniting of the Kadam Dharma and modern life.

Vows, commitments and modern life: Making offerings to the three jewels every day

If we commit any of the secondary downfalls we damage our Bodhisattva vows but we do not actually break them.  But this doesn’t mean they are not important.  Our secondary vows serve as the foundation for our root vows, so by weakening our secondary vows we increase the likelihood of likewise breaking our root vows.  To actually break our vows, we need to decide to no longer follow the bodhisattva path.  We need to decide we are no longer interesting in working for the sake of other or we no longer wish to become a Buddha or follow the Buddhist path.  If we have not come to such a decision, then our vows are not completely broken.  Geshe-la explains that, in our tradition at least, the actual vow we take when we take the Bodhisattva vows is to maintain the intention to one day become a Buddha, and we work gradually with all of the vows trying to keep them in increasingly qualified ways. 

The secondary downfalls are divided according to which of the six perfections they support.  In many ways, we can consider the different vows associated with each of the perfections as like the framework within which we practice the perfection according to the Lamrim teachings.  From another perspective, we can consider these vows as actual methods for actualizing each of the perfections within our mind.  In other words, it is by practicing the vows associated with the perfection of giving that we actually ripen this perfection within our mind.

Downfalls that obstruct the practice of giving

Not making offerings to the Three Jewels every day. 

Offerings to the Three Jewels can be physical, verbal, or mental offerings.  If a day passes without us making any of these three we incur a secondary downfall.  This vow also advises us to accumulate merit every day by making offerings.

Traditionally, at home we have a shrine where we keep our Buddha statues and in front of which we engage in our daily practice.  Even if it is only a corner of some room, we should consider this space to be very precious and we should treat it accordingly.  We should try, to the maximum extent possible, to only do Dharma things when we enter this physical space.  We can, if we wish, imagine a protection circle around this space and when we enter it, we actually enter into the pure land.  On our shrine, we traditionally set out 7 water bowls of offerings, each representing a different substance.  We can read about these in the Lamrim commentaries, such as in Joyful Path of Good Fortune.  When we make our offerings, we shouldn’t feel like we are just putting water in front of some metal statue, rather we should imagine that we are filling the entire universe with pure offerings to the living Buddhas who are actually there. 

If, for whatever reason, we are unable to actually physically set out water bowls, etc., we can put flowers, crystals and other precious objects in front of our shrine as our offerings.  But we shouldn’t have a Buddha image without some sort of offering in front of it, even if it is only a small candy.

Physical offerings aside, the best offerings we can make is our own practice of Dharma.  In reality, the Buddhas don’t need our offerings at all – we are the ones who need to make them so we can create the karma associated with doing so.  The offering that pleases the Buddhas the most is our own practice of their instructions.  Their entire reason for attaining enlightenment was to help lead us to the same state.  They can’t, however, bestow enlightenment on us like some present.  We must transform our own mind from a deluded, samsaric state into a pure, enlightened state.  How?  By putting into practice the instructions they have given us.  We do this with our virtuous actions of body, speech and mind.  Therefore, every day when we do our daily practice, or throughout the day when we try to apply the instructions we have learned, we should imagine that we are doing so in front of all of the Buddhas, and in particular our Spiritual Guide, and we should mentally engage in our virtuous action as an offering to them.

When we do this, our mind is primarily filled with gratitude and hopeful anticipation.  Gratitude with respect to their kindness in having given us the instructions and the opportunity to practice, and hopeful anticipation knowing that due to our practice we are building for ourselves a better future.  It is not enough to just “have faith” when we don’t know what that means.  From a practical perspective, it means we have gratitude and hopeful anticipation.  We know the value of what we have been given (admiring faith) and we are grateful for the opportunity to practice it (wishing faith).  On the basis of this we engage in the action knowing that by doing so we are moving closer to our eventual enlightenment (believing faith).

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Root downfalls of the Bodhisattva Vows, Giving up bodhichitta

Giving up bodhichitta. 

This vow says if, due to self-cherishing or discouragement, we give up our bodhichitta motivation we incur a root downfall.  To give up our bodhichitta motivation does not mean forgetting it sometimes, rather it means we don’t actively make the decision to stop helping somebody.

Often times when we hear this, we are far more likely to fall into the extreme of indulging others in their delusions and negativity.  We remain in dysfunctional or even abusive relationships with people because we “don’t want to abandon them” or we think we don’t want to abandon helping them.  To protect against this tendency we need to conjoin our love and compassion with a little bit of wisdom.  The bottom line is we don’t help people by indulging them in their delusions and negativities.  To take an easy example, if somebody is abusing us we are not helping them by allowing them to do so.  We may think we are helping them by sticking around, but unless there are very unique circumstances, we are not actually helping them.  What is far more likely is our fear of leaving them kidnaps the instruction on not abandoning our bodhichitta and uses that as the justification for why we never leave.  This is a mistake.  They wind up creating all sorts of negative karma towards us, and we wind up wasting our precious opportunity to be doing something else.  

Yes, we may be able to transform their abuse, but that doesn’t mean we couldn’t also transform the challenges associated with no longer being with them.  If all situations are equally transformable since they are all equally empty, then this can’t be a reason for staying or leaving.  Instead, the question is what is the least deluded and most virtuous course of action for all concerned?  It takes enormous spiritual strength to leave a relationship when it needs to be done.  Sometimes the most spiritually challenging thing to do is not stick around, but leave.

But doesn’t this “abandon” the other person?  We think, “I am helping them somewhat in the good times and if I left they would have nothing good in their life and they would get worse, so I need to stick around for them.”  But it is also equally possible that the best way we can help somebody is by our absence.  Sometimes our absence speaks more powerfully than our presence.  It all depends upon the context of the situation.

The test I use to decide whether it makes sense to stick around is very simple:

  1. Do I have the spiritual capacity to stick around without being destroyed myself in the process?  If no, then leave.  If yes, proceed to question 2.
  2. Is the other person genuinely, from their own side, trying to get better and change themselves.   If no, then leave.  You will never change them.   Only they can change themselves.  If they are only trying to get better because you said you would leave if they don’t, then as soon as you take them back they will revert back to their old bad habits and you will have to make threats again.  This is no way to live a life.  If yes, they are trying to change, proceed to question 3.
  3. Do I have some obvious alternative where I could be helping far more people if I left?  If no, then stay.  If yes, then leave.  We can think of the example of Buddha Shayamuni.  He was married and had kids, but he had very clear indications that he could help far more people by leaving his relationship.  But we also need to get real here – how many of us are poised to become the next Buddha Shakyamuni?  In modern times, the overwhelming majority of the cases will be its best to stay in our normal relationship nexus.  But it can be, depending upon our circumstances, that there is very little holding us in a given context and it is clear we could bring greater benefit by moving on.

But even if we leave somebody physically, this does not mean we have broken this vow.  In our hearts, we never abandon anybody.  In our bodhichitta, we never abandon anybody.  The way we help others will vary all the time, but our wish and determination to help them never varies.

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Root downfalls of the Bodhisattva Vows, the next three vows

Speaking falsely about profound emptiness. 

This vow say if we lack a correct understanding of emptiness and yet teach emptiness to others, claiming with a selfish motivation that we have a direct realization of emptiness, we incur a root downfall.

I don’t know anybody who claims to have a direct realization of emptiness, so I think there is little danger of any of us incurring this root downfall, but there is a danger of us committing a similitude of this downfall.  Those who have some notions of emptiness know how much fun it is to debate and discuss it.  Few, if any, of us have a correct understanding.  Yet when we speak, we have a natural tendency to speak as if we were to a certain extent an authority on the subject.  I, for one, do this all of the time.  Even though I am not engaging in a root downfall, I am certainly quite frequently engaging in a similitude of this downfall.  I need to stop this.

This does not mean we can’t discuss emptiness.  Rather it means we need to make it abundantly clear to any potential reader or listener that what we are explaining is just our personal understanding of what the teachings mean, and from the side of the reader, everyone who reads or listens to our explanations should take them with a grain of salt and investigate these matters for themselves.  

There is nothing more important in this world than realizing emptiness.  The only way to escape from a prison with no doors is to wake up from the dream in which we are trapped in such a prison.  Realizing emptiness is how we do this.  Given its importance, this is something we must discuss all of the time; but given its importance, it is something we must discuss in a correct and skillful way.

Accepting property that has been stolen from the Three Jewels. 

We incur this downfall if we accept goods that we know have been stolen from the Three Jewels.  We do not incur this downfall if we accept something that we do not know has been stolen.

If have even a suspicion that something we are using has been stolen from the three jewels, then it is our responsibility to ask the question to make sure we are not stealing.  If we don’t, we are incurring a similitude of this downfall.  If we know, or have reason to believe, that somebody else has stolen something from the three jewels and through our actions we somehow lend legitimacy to their claim over the object, then I think this is also an example of accepting property that has been stolen from the three jewels.  

If we have it within our power to return property that has been stolen and we fail to do so, then I also think this is a similitude of a downfall.  

Making bad rules. 

Those in charge of spiritual communities incur this downfall if they make rules that unnecessarily interfere with pure Dharma practice, such as having business activities take precedence over the practice of meditation.

We have to be careful with understanding this.  The development model of the NKT is one of indigenous growth.  In other words, things are built in dependence upon the extent to which a local sangha is willing to do the work to build it.  A mother center may provide some initial support to get a branch class of the ground, but the expectation is after that initial start up support, the center is basically on their own until they reach a sufficiently big size that they are in a position to buy some building or start taking on full-time staff.  Then there is another period of brief support which quickly ends, and the now larger center is basically on its own until it reaches the point where it could become a KMC.  The NKT takes no outside money from anybody.  The Dharma cannot flourish in this world without the underlying supporting physical infrastructure.  This requires both money and labor on the part of the local sangha.  Some people react very negatively to this fact, especially if it is their money or their labor that is being called upon!  So when the local administrators or teachers have some project they want to pursue and it requires money or people’s time, this issue usually flares up.  

There is a natural tendency for the administrators of a center to unintentionally fall on the extreme of putting business matters before spiritual matters; and there is a natural tendency for the rest of the sangha to unintentionally fall on the extreme of underappreciating the value of the requisite material developments.  This tension exists probably, at least to an extent, in every center in the world.  So we shouldn’t be surprised when we find it in our own local center!  Administrators will in exasperated tones ask other administrators questions like, “how do you get your Sangha to do more” and the rest of the sangha will complain to each other and to sangha from other centers about how bad their administrators are because they are constantly hassling the sangha and spiritually manipulating them to do more.  This dynamic is also quite common, not just in Dharma centers but in any non-profit or religious organization around the world.  Humans are humans, after all.

So the question is what should we do about it?  The answer is simple.  If we find that we are more likely to be on the extreme of using the Dharma to manipulate others into accomplishing our projects, then we should make an effort to make sure that we always pursue projects which quite clearly put spiritual practice first, and the material requirements will be a self-evident need.  If we find that we are more likely to be on the extreme of underappreciating the value and need of material development, we should consider its value and become the most prominent advocate for the need of the sangha to step up.  The most effective way to become an advocate is to become an example, but sometimes it also means speaking up in meetings.  If it is always the administrators who are calling for more material development and always everybody else resisting that, then it introduces an unhealthy dynamic in a Dharma center.  If instead it is the administrators who are putting spiritual priorities first and the sangha advocating for material development then these tensions subside and the center develops quite nicely.  

I find that in most circumstances, people are very reluctant to take the lead on things but that doesn’t stop them having an opinion on everything.  I know I am like that.  I think a good rule of thumb we can adopt for ourselves is we should always be willing to back up our opinions with our own constructive action.  The point is if you are a member of the community, do your administrators a favor and become the local advocate for the need for material development.  When a member of the community takes on this role, it is far more powerful for the development of a center than if the administrators do this.  If you are an administrator, do your sangha a favor by not trying to manipulate others into doing work for the center.  Explain the merits of the project, set a good example of working on it yourself, but respect people’s freedom to contribute as they see fit.  Better yet, find out what projects the members of the community want to work on and see how you can help marshal the resources of the center towards that end.  Our job is to serve our community, not the other way around.

 

Vows, commitments and modern life: Root downfalls of the Bodhisattva Vows, causing others to abandon the Pratimoksha and belittling the Hinayana.

Causing others to abandon the Pratimoksha. 

We incur a root downfall if we cause an ordained person to give up their Vinaya practice saying that it is not relevant to the Mahayana path.

I know some very senior ordained teachers who talk of women effectively throwing themselves at them.  The temptations must be great indeed.  To engage in actions which cause somebody to lose their ordination, which we can do merely with some wrong words spoken, is, in my view, to commit spiritual murder, or at the very least to assist in somebody’s spiritual suicide. 

I am aware of the fact that these are dramatic words.  But when somebody gets ordained, their old ordinary self quite literally dies and a new being is born, Kelsang Something or Another.  If that person disrobes, the person who was formerly known as Kelsang whatever quite literally dies, vanishing from this earth. 

We sometimes think ordained people are so strong, and sometimes the recently ordained think everything will now be so easy.  But both views are wrong.  One of my teachers once said, “getting married is easy, it is staying married where the real work is.  In the same way, getting ordained is easy, it is staying ordained where the real work is.”  Just as we would be careful to not encourage others to do things which might jeopardize their marriage, so too we need to be careful to not encourage ordained people to do things which might jeopardize their ordination. 

This vow does not only apply to the ordained Pratimoksha vows, but it also applies to the lay Pratimoksha vows (though the negative karma is greater with the ordained vows).  If we knew somebody was an alcoholic, we certainly wouldn’t invite them to a bar or put them in situations that might cause them to relapse.  In the same way, taking the Pratimoksha vows is like the alcoholic who stops drinking.  But there are tremendous tendencies within us to relapse back into our old samsaric ways.  Samsaraholics Anonymous does not exist, but it should.  And we should be just as considerate towards not leading those who have taken such vows into temptation anymore than we would of our friends addicted to drugs, cigarettes or alcohol.

Belittling the Hinayana. 

We incur a root downfall if we have a disrespectful opinion of the Hinayana path, maintaining that it does not lead to actual liberation.  One of the most useful concepts in the Dharma is the notion of common and uncommon paths.  When I was growing up, we had a split level house.  Halfway up the stairs, things branched off and I could go outside for example, or I could keep going up all of the way and make it to my room.  It is impossible for me to get to my room without taking those first stairs, but I don’t need to take them if all I want to do is go outside.  In this way, the first half of the stairs are “common” to both paths, and the second half of the stairs is part of the “uncommon” path.  Both the person who wants to go outside and the person who wants to go to the top floor must use the first half of the stairs, but only the person who wants to go to the top floor must do all of the stairs.  For such a person to belittle the first half of the stairs is to deny themselves part of their path.

In the same way, all of the paths to liberation are “common” to the Mahayana path, they are part of our path.  So to belittle them is to belittle the very foundation of our eventual enlightenment.

Few among us, though would actually outright belittle those who travel other paths, but there are many subtle levels where we do this.  First, it is not uncommon for Mahayana practitioners to, even if only internally, generate pride thinking they are somehow better because than those travelling another path that leads only to liberation.  

Second, when we speak with people from the Theravadin tradition, or other traditions that seek only liberation, we need to be mindful that some of them consider it insulting to call them “Hinayanists,” the translation of which means “lesser vehicle.”  Now in the context of the Mahayana teachings (“great vehicle”) we don’t mean it in an insulting way, we use the term merely to differentiate between the intermediate and the great scope.  But that doesn’t change the fact that it is quite understandable why they could find it insulting for us to refer to them in that way.  So when we speak with them, or when we speak in public forums where they might be present, we should show appropriate consideration.

Third, another common way in which we effectively belittle the Hinayana is in how we actually practice the Dharma.  We show a bias towards the great scope meditations and especially our tantric meditations, and pay little attention to the initial and intermediate scope meditations.  Everyone enjoys meditating on love and the self-generation as the deity, but it is a little less fun to meditate on death, the lower realms, the sufferings of samsara and technical subjects like the 12 dependent-related links.  So we generally tend to avoid these meditations and focus on the ones we enjoy.  Of course these higher level meditations are wonderful in and of themselves, but their real power is only uncovered when they are engaged in on the solid foundation of the earlier meditations.  We can generate worldly compassion and love without the earlier meditations, and this is a good thing, but if we want to generate spiritual compassion and love (meaning concern about other’s future lives), then we need these earlier meditations.  We cannot generate a qualified compassion without first generating a qualified renunciation.  We cannot generate a qualified renunciation without first generating a qualified fear of lower rebirth and a realization of our own death.  

There is of course nothing wrong with engaging in the higher meditations without having built the foundation within our mind, the point is our higher meditations will only be as qualified as the foundation we have built.  We still should train in all of the meditations from the very beginning because each meditation informs all of the others, but our qualified realization of a higher meditation will never outstrip the extent to which we have qualified realizations of the lower meditations.  Engaging in advanced tantric practices are good, but they will only produce their declared benefits when done with the proper foundations.  

Vows, commitments and modern life: Root downfalls of the Bodhisattva Vows, explaining emptiness and causing others to abandon the Mahayana

Explaining emptiness to those who are likely to misunderstand. 

We incur a root downfall if we teach emptiness in an unskillful way and cause those who are listening to develop serious and harmful misunderstandings.  Emptiness is very easily misunderstood, and it is not difficult to unintentionally explain a nihilistic view.  We normally remain on the extreme of existence, but it does not take much to swing to the other side and become overzealous in our explanations. 

As a general rule, we should make sure that our wisdom understanding emptiness does not outstrip our compassion.  This will protect us from falling into the extreme of non-existence, or falling into the extreme of solitary peace.  The only thing emptiness negates is the mode of existence of the world.  Being still exist, the world still exists, suffering is still experienced.  We go places, things happen, etc.  But it is all taking place in a dream and none of it is any more real than last night’s dream.  But just because it is a dream does not mean it doesn’t matter what happens in it.  For as long as beings grasp at the dream as being real, they suffer terribly within it.  Just as it is appropriate to come to the aid of somebody we think is real, so too if we are in a dream it is appropriate to come to the aid of somebody in the dream.  They suffer, we can help, so we do so. 

In fact, it is impossible to fully unwind the dream of samsara without a measure of compassion because if others are empty, then their minds and indeed their very lives are part of our dream.  An ocean cannot be tamed by calming a single wave.  The sign that our understanding of emptiness is incorrect is we feel there is no harm done by negativity and we think it doesn’t matter what happens to others because they are not real.  The sign that our understanding of emptiness is correct is we feel an overwhelming sense of personal responsibility for whatever happens to anybody because it is all taking place in our dream.  Just as we would expect a good God to care for and protect his creation, so too when we understand emptiness it is a given we must care for everything and everyone because it is all part of the fabric of our mind.  The duality between self and others completely dissolves where it becomes absurd to even think to free oneself without freeing all others.  In fact, for a mind that understands emptiness correctly, such a thought could not even arise.

Causing others to abandon the Mahayana. 

If we cause a Mahayana practitioner to give up their bodhichitta by telling them they will never become a Buddha, and advise them to enter the less demanding Hinayana path, we incur a downfall.

Venerable Tharchin explains that the secret to developing unstoppable effort is to understand that all of the goals of the spiritual path are indeed eminently doable.  At present we give lip service to the idea of attaining enlightenment, but deep in our heart we think it is an impossible goal far beyond our reach.  When we read the teachings on Tranquil Abiding, much less all the grounds and paths of a bodhisattva, we realize we have barely even begun our training, even if we have been applying full effort for many many years.  Not seeing how it is possible, we may think it would be nice to be a Buddha but besides the words which fall from our lips about it, there is no fire in our belly to really go for it. 

The deep truth of emptiness is if we cannot keep the flame of Dharma alive in our own mind, it will become extinguished from the world we perceive, and all hope of escape for ourself or others in our dream will be lost.  But if we can become like an immovable vajra and the flame of Dharma is never extinguished from our own mind, it is just a question of time before we free everyone.  The bitter cruelty of samsara is also its greatest weakness – it is a self-imposed prison.  There is literally nothing which can stop us from walking straight out its door other than our failure to make the decision to do so.  Once we decide to leave and we have seen through its lies, nothing can stop us.  It still may take a very long time, but nothing can stop us. 

We may love our children, for example, very much and be willing to do anything for them.  But if we die without having secured our spiritual future, who will look after them?  Can we trust the task to anybody else?  But if we can place our mind on the firm grounding of the clear light, death for us will be no different than falling asleep at night knowing we will awake the next day to continue our work.  We do not recognize all of the beings around us as our past mothers or our past children, but as we become firm in our wisdom we will see and recall our past time with them, we will understand the long arc of their history with us and we will know no matter what karmic disguises they or ourselves may assume, it is still them and it is still us, and we are still with them gradually guiding them to freedom. 

Discouragement is the killer of more spiritual lives than anything else.  It is our discouragement which enables our attachments to overcome us.  If we do not believe our freedom is possible, we won’t fight for it with all our being, and we will settle for the most comfortable situation we can arrange in samsara.  But if a man’s child or wife were captured, he would not rest – ever – until they were freed.  This is our very situation, and we have the potential to free all of them – literally in one go.  The only thing stopping us is nothing.