Author: Kadampa Ryan

Engaging in the actions of Heruka

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra

After the meditation on the self-generation, there are a number of practices we engage in.  From my perspective, it seems the main purpose of these practices is to gain some experience with engaging in the actions of a Buddha.  This serves a couple of different purposes.

First, by engaging in the actions of a Buddha now, we create the causes for the Buddhas to engage in those actions for us, which will then help accelerate our path to enlightenment.  As we advance further along the path, we can then engage in the actions of a Buddha in a more qualified way and thus create even better causes for the Buddhas to engage in these actions towards us.  This creates a virtuous circle, like a train picking up momentum along the track.

Second, by engaging in the actions of a Buddha now, we realize how incredible it is to be a Buddha.  This then greatly increases our desire to become one, making our bodhichitta more intense and qualified.  This then increases the power and effectiveness of all of our spiritual practices.

Third, we create the reliquary of our future enlightenment.  In Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, Shantideva discusses how as a Bodhisattva we create the reliquary of a Buddha which continues to provide benefit to living beings even after we have passed into nirvana.  This is actually a very important concept to understand.  Basically, the actions we engage in as a bodhisattva set in motion a self-perpetuating series of actions that continue forever after our enlightenment.  There are a couple of analogies that can help us understand how this works.  Imagine an infinite ocean, and on one end I create a giant tsunami sized wave.  This was one action, but the wave will keep going in all directions long after the initial action.  This is how I understand “the great wave” of Je Tsongkhapa’s deeds.  Alternatively, in space there is no friction.  So if I have a rocket ship in space and for a period of time it expends energy/fuel pushing the rocket in a certain direction, then the rocket will keep going forever in that direction long after the thrusters have fired.  It is the same with our actions as a bodhisattva.  While a tantric bodhisattva, we engage in the actions of a Buddha – namely we train in liberating beings, bestowing blessings, making offerings, engaging in prayers, etc.  These actions are like the making of the initial wave or the firing of the thrusters in the rocket in space.  The effects of these actions will continue to provide benefit to living beings forever, even after I have already attained enlightenment.

With this understanding, what then are some of the main actions we engage in as a Buddha?

  1. Mantra recitation – these are special prayers and requests we make on behalf of all living beings, requesting that the function of the mantra be accomplished for the benefit of others.
  2. Torma offerings.  A torma offering is a mind that is happy to offer everything one has, to use all of the resources at one’s disposal, for the sole purpose of gaining Dharma realizations.  So by making torma offerings, we are creating the causes so all resources within our pure land are used for one single purpose – gaining Dharma realizations for living beings.
  3. Tsog offerings.  To make progress along the path, we need to be rich in merit.  Rich societies can accomplish their wishes more easily than poor ones.  When we make Tsog offerings, we are infusing our pure land with an extreme abundance of merit and inner wealth so that all beings within our pure land can easily fulfill all of their spiritual wishes for realizations.
  4. Great Mother practice.  Here we remove all obstructions for all of the beings in our pure land and create the echo of the Heart Sutra within our pure land which will resonate forever teaching the perfection of wisdom to all beings.
  5. Dorje Shugden practice.  Dorje Shugden’s retinue is like both the army of the pure land providing protection and security so people can focus on their practice and they are also our spiritual trainers like training officers at boot camp helping forge people into highly qualified “special forces” bodhisattvas.  So by engaging in this practice, we provide those services to all of the beings in our pure land.
  6. Dedication.  We should engage in our dedication practice while maintaining divine pride, viewing each dedication as a special prayer we make on behalf of all of the beings in our pure land, wishing that these prayers ripen for each and every being.

Your turn:  What are some enlightened actions you can engage in today?  What would Heruka do if he was living your life?

Please don’t ruin the holidays for everyone else

Kadampa Ryan Cultivating healthy relationships with others

The holiday season is supposed to be one of the happiest times of the year, and that is exactly why it is generally the opposite!  What happens around the holiday season is people say, “it is supposed to be special”, and because it is “special” we have higher expectations for how things are supposed to go a certain way.  When they predictably fail to do so, we then get upset because things are not unfolding according to our expectations.  Then, because we get upset, we make everybody else around us stressed out as they try live up to our expectations or we just make them miserable because they become the objects of our frustration and anger.

What I typically do when faced with this dynamic is I then harbor all sorts of resentment that the other person is getting upset in this way, and then I starting acting all stupid saying things like “I want to do whatever you want to do” “I want to do whatever will stop you from being upset.”  I might not say these things, but my actions will speak louder than words.  My goal when I act like this is not to genuinely make the other person happy, but instead to try demonstrate to the other person that they are being unreasonable.  So unsurprisingly, they know I am not being sincere and then we enter into these snarky exchanges where each side is trying to give the other person what they want, but not really doing so, because the real objective is to highlight to the other person that they are being unreasonable.

Another typical way we ruin the holidays is project all sorts of expectations about how others need to be grateful for our giving or our acts of kindness, and then when they are not grateful, we get upset at them about that.  This then ruins our giving and robs them of any enjoyment.  Or we can generate all sorts of jealousy about how others are getting more gifts than we are or we generate resentment about how we gave to others more than they gave to us.

Another common thing that happens is we have our relatives over.  We project that they can sometimes be difficult people so we do everything we can to try engineer the situation and the kids so nothing happens that could possibly upset the relatives or guests coming over.  But because we are more uptight and trying to make everything perfect, we create a pressure cooker for our kids, so they feel this and inevitably start acting up.  We then clamp down on them and guilt trip them saying things like “So and so didn’t come here to just to see you fight and act up.”  This of course just causes us to enter into a fight with them, creating the very problem we were trying to avoid.  It also makes our kids feel bad about themselves, they feel like a failure because they have ruined the holiday, and then they enter into a self-pity/anger spiral.

One of my favorite ways that I ruin the holidays is quite ironic.  I have seen all of the dynamics above and gotten upset at my family for falling into them.  I want everybody to just relax and have a good time.  But then I am doing the same thing I am accusing them of!  I am expecting them to be more chillaxed and easy going than they normally are, and then when they show even the slightest frustration about anything, I then freak out completely and think “there you go again, ruining another holiday.”  I so insist that everyone be easygoing that I myself am the least easygoing of them all.  I then self-righteously lecture others about how they shouldn’t expect everything to be perfect on holidays, etc.

The other extreme I often fall into in the holiday season is thinking “holidays are just not worth the hassle – everybody just fights and gets upset anyways.”  Secretly, I wish that there weren’t any holidays at all so we didn’t have to deal with all of the drama.  But then others around me who do want to celebrate the holidays sense that I am being all bah-humbug.  They feel like I am not really into it and am bitter about the whole thing.  I then ruin their fun.  They then get upset at me about that, I of course deny that I am doing it, I then enter into my “whatever will avoid you getting upset martyrdom” mode, and this just makes things awful for everybody.

We deluded beings are quite funny creatures!  I just can’t help but imagine the Buddhas up in the pure land having a good-hearted laugh at it all.  The sign that our reunucination is qualified is our samsara makes us laugh.  I imagine that the sign that our bodhcihitta is qualified is we find samsara absolutely hilarious!  You just gotta laugh at how silly we sometimes act.

So this holiday season my objective is to just happily accept whatever happens.  I am going to try genuinely get into it and not be bah-humbug.  I am going to try not project expectations that everybody somehow miraculously stop being deluded on the holidays.  I am going to try be happy for others, think about others, and give them the space to be something less than perfect.  I am going to laugh at myself when I find myself getting all huffy-puffy.  I am going to try spend quality time just loving my kids, because at the end of the day that is what they want more than anything else.  I am going to try not to make them feel guilty if they don’t live up to my expectations.  I will probably fall short of my aspirations, but that too will be a great opportunity to learn, grow and laugh!

Your turn:  What are some funny ways in which you have ruined other’s holidays before?  What are you going to do differently this year so that you don’t ruin other’s holidays?

Conquering Death

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra

Even though we don’t realize it, our biggest problem is we are trapped in a hallucenagenic cycle of ritual sacrifice where we are the offering put up for repeated slaughter.  We are caught in a dream that we believe to be real in which we are uncontrolledly and repeatedly dying, going through an intermediate state and then being reborn once again in another contaminated dream.  In short, we are trapped in a cycle of uncontrolled death, thrown from one contaminated dream to another, each one ending in us dying, often in very painful ways.  Most of the dreams we are thrown into are frankly too horrible for words, but through some miracle we have been born into a relatively mild dream of our present human life with access to a method to break free.

In Buddhism, this cycle of uncontrolled rebirth is called samsara.  Buddhism itself is a method for conquering uncontrolled death, breaking free from this cycle and intentionally choosing to take rebirth awoken from these contaminated dream worlds.  What makes a dream world a contaminated dream world is we do not realize it is a dream world – we think it is real.  When we escape from the cycle of samsara we do not leave dream worlds for real worlds, because there are no real worlds, rather we leave contaminated dream worlds that we think are real to pure dream worlds which we understand to be created by our mind in accordance with the laws of karma.  Since we have been born, we cannot escape death, but we can escape death’s hold over us.  We can, once and for all, break free from this cycle and emerge as a deathless being.  And not just any deathless being, it is possible for us to emerge on the other side as what Jesus called “a fisherman of men” capable of eventually (or instantaneously depending upon your perspective…) extracting each and every being from the deadly ocean of samsara and releasing them into eternal freedom.

In short, we are trapped in a cycle of death called samsara.  Buddhism is a method for conquring death.  When we do so, we will be capable of helping all others also find their way to everlasting freedom.

So the question is how do we conquer death in this way?  The answer is we use our entire life to train to purify the cycle of death, intermediate state and rebirth.  In short, we use our life to burrow an escape route out that we take at death.

To do so, we must build a series of way points, or stages that we must go through during the death process.  In our daily practice we construct these way points, familiarize ourselves thoroughly with them, train in passing from one to the other, and we do this every day of our life.  If we do so, there is a very good chance that we will break free at the end of this life.  If we fail to build for ourselves the way out, there will be no way out for us – ever.  So our choice is actually stark – either we intentionally do what it takes to build an escape route or we remain forever trapped.  There is no third alternative.

So what are these way points that we must build?  (Note, I will explain this in the context of Kadampa Buddhism.  By doing so, I in no way mean to imply that only Kadampa Buddhism has an escape tunnel.  Many other pure spiritual traditions and religions do so as well, but I am not familiar with how those work.  The tunnel I am trying to dig for myself is a Kadampa one because that is the one I know and the one I seem to have the most karmic connection with).

  1. Initial refuge.  To get out we must turn to one who has already gotten out and who has come back to get us (a Buddha).  We must make effort to put into practice the methods s/he teaches (the Dharma).  And we intentionally come under the influence of a good circle of friends seeking to do the same thing we are (Sangha).  Initial refuge is the opening of the escape tunnel, we must find it and go through it.
  2. Correct motivation.  Everything that appears is karmically created.  Our motivation, or intention, is the most important ingredient in whatever karma we create.  To conquer death, we must have the intention to do so in all our actions.  This intention will define the nature of the karma we create from our training, which will ripen later as an actual path out.  At a minimum, we can intend to get to a pure land so that we can continue with our training.  We can also intend to once and for all escape completely for ourselves, or we can intend to become a fully enlightened Buddha capable of freeing all others.  Any one of these three intentions will be sufficient, but obviously the latter is the highest.  It is called bodhichitta.
  3. Purify negative obstructions and delusions.  Since beginningless time, we have engaged in countless negative actions which serve as “iron chains” binding us in samsara.  We must break these chains through the practice of purification.  A prisoner may wish to escape from prison, but will be unable to do so if they do not break the chains binding them in.  There are several different methods for purifying our negative karma, such as the 35 confession Buddhas and Vajrasattva.  But the best method for purifying all of the negative karma towards each and every being is to generate a motivation of bodhichitta, wishing to become a Buddha so that you can save them from samsara as well.  This corrects for all of the harm you have ever done towards them, and thus is the supreme method of purification.  We must also pacify and ultimately abandon our delusions.  Delusions function to activate our contaminated and negative karma.  If we die with a deluded state of mind, it will activate contaminated karma and we will be thrown once again into an uncontrolled contaminated rebirth.  So we must train in keeping our mind free from delusions, most importantly through an anvil-like mind of patient acceptance, the supreme good heart of bodhichitta and the wisdom realizing the ultimate truth of emptiness.
  4. Accumulate sufficient merit.  Just as a rocket needs tremendous fuel to escape from the Earth’s gravity, so too we need tremendous mental fuel to escape from samsara’s gravitational pull.  We accumulate such fuel, or merit, through our virtuous actions.  There are countless things we can do to accumulate merit explained in the lamrim teachings.  One of the most effective methods is making mandala offerings to our Spiritual Guide with a bodhichitta motivation.  When we make a mandala offering, we are essentially offering a promise to do whatever it takes to transform the entire universe and all of the beings within it into a pure land.  When we offer it to our spiritual guide (normally in the context of our daily meditation practice) we create the same karma as offering it to each of the countless Buddhas.  And by doing it with a bodhichitta motivation, we multiply the merit by the number of beings for whose benefit we make the offering, in this case countless living beings!
  5. Receive blessings.  Just as a spark lights the fuel of a rocket, blessings light the fuel of our merit.  Buddha’s have the power to bless our mind, which basically means they have the power to activate our virtuous karmic potentialities.  The escape tunnel is built according to the following cycle:  we create a certain level of the karma necessary for its existence through the various practices, we then receive blessings activating that level of karma, then on the basis of experiencing this level we create the karma to experience an even higher or more robust level of the tunnel’s existence, and so on.  We continue in this way until the entire tunnel is complete, both in terms of the full length of the tunnel and it being sufficiently strong and consolidated that it won’t collapse along the way when we take it at the time of death.
  6. Dissolving the guru into and mixing his mind inseparably with our root mind.  If we want to get some place, we can walk ourselves or we can get into a taxi.  The taxi is faster and the driver knows where he is going.  It is exactly the same with getting out of samsara.  Mixing our root mind inseparably with our guru’s mind is like hopping into a spiritual taxi which then takes us to the pure land.  When we understand this deeply, we not only generate great confidence that we can indeed get out, but we also develop a great desire to ourselves become a spiritual taxi for others in the future!
  7. Purify uncontrolled contaminated death.  We do this through the practices of bringing death into the path of the Truth Body according to generation stage and through the mahamudra meditations of completion stage.  How to do this is explained in detail in the Tantric teachings.  But the short version is we train in maintaining the continuum of our mindfulness and alertness of our realization of emptiness as we go through the eight dissolutions of the inner energy winds up to and including the final dissolution after which we emerge into the clear light emptiness or Truth Body.  This final meditation on the clear light emptiness, which is explained in detail in the Mahamudra teachings, is the most important method for purifying the sway of death itself.
  8. Purify uncontrolled contaminated intermediate state.  We do this through the practices of bringing the intermediate state into the path of the Enjoyment Body according to generation stage and through the meditations on illusory body according to completion stage.  Again, these meditations are explained in detail in the tantric teachings.  But the short version is motivated by bodhichitta, we train in manifesting our subtle winds in the form of the seed letters of Buddhas while maintaining the continuum of our realization of emptiness.
  9. Purify uncontrolled contaminated rebirth.  We do this through the practices of bringing rebirth into the path of the Emanation Body according to generation stage and through training in the union of clear light and illusory body according to completion stage (all explained in detail in the tantric teachings).  The short version is we train in transforming ourselves into the pure land, including all the Buddhas who inhabit the pure land.  A pure land is a realm we emanate so that beings can take rebirth in and complete their spiritual training.  Meditating on the self-generation with a bodhichitta motivation is the principal method for creating the substantial causes necessary to take rebirth outside of samsara.  The importance of this meditation cannot be overstated.
  10. Engaging in the actions of a Buddha.  The way stations up until now (the 9 above) take us into and through the tunnel, but this final way station takes us outside of the tunnel and irreversibly delivers us to the other side.  After we conquer death, our work of liberating others begins.  We will do so through sending countless emanations into the realms of samsara to lead and assist all beings along the path from the deepest hell to the highest enlightenment.  To anchor this as our final outcome and to reinforce our bodhichitta motivation for making the journey we train in actually engaging in the actions of a Buddha.  During the meditation session we do this through the practices of mantra recitation, making offerings, purifying migrators, etc.  During the meditation break we do this through engaging in virtuous actions towards them, most notably by giving teachings and good advice.

Every single day of our life, we should train in each of these 10 way stations.  By doing so, we will gradually build within our mental continuum a reliable escape tunnel from the cycle of uncontrolled death.  At the time of death, we will then feel like we are on the cusp of an incredible journey to the pure land.  We will then effortless proceed through each of these same ten stages.  We will become a conqueror of death!

Your turn:  What is something practical you can do today to prepare yourself for (and indeed conquer) death?

Stop trying to change others

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life

Before I found the Dharma, I believed others were the source of my problems, thus to solve my problems I felt like I needed to change others around me.  I especially did with my partner and family.  After I found the Dharma, I believed it was my spiritual duty to lead each and every being to enlightenment, so I still felt like I needed to change others.  Very often, if I am honest, my real motivation for wanting to change others continues to be my core believe that they are the source of my problems, but I fool myself into thinking my wanting to change others now is motivated by great compassion and bodhichitta.

Another reason why I seek to change others is doubt and insecurity about my own views.  Perhaps I am doing something wrong but don’t want to admit it to myself, so I will try try get others to share my view so that they don’t force me to confront that I am doing something wrong.  Or perhaps I am not sure if I am right, and so if I can convince others of my view then if enough people view things the same way I do it will help reassure me that I am right.  Of course this is a flawed reasoning, since a majority of people believing something doesn’t make it right.  Everyone believes in an inherently existent world, but that doesn’t make the view correct!

Trying to change others is, from a pragmatic point of view, self-defeating.  People are not stupid, and they know when we are trying to change them motivated by our own attachments and aversions, and so they naturally resist the change we are trying to bring about in them.  So instead of helping them change, our trying to change them actually just causes them to cling more tightly to how they are.  If we try change others through overwhelming them with force, we may bring about the external appearance of them changing, but internally they just harbor resentment towards us and the change we want, and as soon as our threat of force subsides, they will revert back to how they were.  Trying to change people in this way also creates the causes for others to try change us in this way in the future, so we just set ourselves up for being manipulated and controlled in the future.

I am gradually learning that the best way to get people to change for the better is to leave them completely free to change themselves.  We just focus on changing ourselves – honestly identifying our faults and applying effort to overcome them.  We can seek to change ourselves to gain the realizations necessary to help others who seek to change themselves, but we must wait for them to come to us asking for advice and help.  Offering unsolicited and unwanted advice rarely, if ever, works unless the person already has a lot of faith in us.  Generally speaking, we try to change others because we see faults in them, so when we see faults in others we make them defensive, they feel judged by us, and then they seek to internally justify why we are wrong.  So trying to change others actually causes them to lose faith in us, not increase it.

Even though intellectually I know I should just focus on changing myself and how trying to change others is counter-productive, what I now often times find myself doing is talking indirectly where it is not immediately obvious from a literal and direct reading of my words that I am directing them against somebody, but anybody with knowledge of the context knows who and what I am talking about.  So externally, I maintain plausible deniability, but internally I am really saying somebody else is wrong and I am trying to change them by trying to be all skilful by talking indirectly.  This rarely fools anybody, and just results in them talking indirectly back.

It is a very fine mental balance to write a blog and not have it be trying to change others.  I see faults in others and in my tradition, and my motivation is often a mix of wanting to genuinely cherish others by helping them do better and good old fashioned attachment or aversion.  I could fall into the extreme of not doing a blog at all until my motivation is completely pure, but how will I ever be able to do things perfectly unless I do things imperfectly and learn from my mistakes?  So while I know I am doing things imperfectly, I try nonetheless to do better each day.

I think the middle way between trying to change others and doing nothing for others is to do our best to change ourselves with the intention of gaining the realizations necessary to help others who seek to change themselves.  We then share what we are learning and hope others find it helpful in their own demarche.  If they don’t, then we keep trying, and at a minimum our sharing helps us clarify our own understanding by forcing us to express it in words.  This is how Shantideva began his Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life.  I always read it as a false humility, but actually, like everything else in his Guide, it is profound advice and an immaculate sincere example.

Your turn:  Describe some (funny?) failure you have had trying to change others?  What did you learn from the experience?  

Our three requests to Dorje Shugden

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Dorje Shugden’s function is to arrange all of the outer, inner and secret conditions necessary for our swiftest possible enlightenment.  We can invoke his function for the sake of ourselves and for the sake of others.  The power and effectiveness of our requests to him are dependent upon the strength of our faith, the purity and scope of our motivation, and the extent to which we realize the emptiness of ourselves, Dorje Shugden and what we are requesting.  If our faith is unshakable, our motivation bodhichitta and our realization of emptiness all encompassing, there is literally no limit to what Dorje Shugden can do.  From a practical point of view, I rely on him for everything I do.

There are three main requests I make to him.

  1. Please arrange all of the (outer, inner and secret) conditions necessary so that everything is perfect for the swiftest possible enlightenment for everyone, including myself.
  2. Please bless me with the wisdom to see clearly how everything that has happened, is happening and will happen is perfect for everyone, including myself.
  3. Please arrange the conditions and bestow upon me the skilful means necessary so that I can share my perspective of how things are perfect with others when they are ready and in a way that they can accept and put into practice.

In general, a condition is perfect if it enables us to identify clearly our delusions, train in overcoming them, or it reveals to us in some way the truth of Dharma.

I believe that through relying upon Dorje Shugden in this way we can accomplish all of our spiritual wishes.

Your turn:  Describe a situation where initially you thought something was a problem, but later you realized it was actually exactly what you needed for your practice.

A Kadampa view on the tragedy in the U.S.

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

As everyone is now aware, a gunman went on a rampage at a school in the U.S., killing more than 20 and mentally scarring a nation and a world.  The question then becomes how are we, as Kadampas, able to relate to this in a positive way.

The difficulty with events such as these is it just seems wrong to maintain pure view saying that it is all emanated.  If we are not careful, we wind up sounding like that one Senate candidate that said a rape is God’s will, so therefore God is a rapist.  Of course there are other forces at play – delusions – and this is what they lead to.  Delusions drove the gunman and delusions drive the angry response.  Events like this are a powerful reminder of where delusions lead.  Seeing where the path of delusions lead we realize the folly of even going down them a little bit in our own life.

As Kadampas we make a distinction between the person and their delusions.  Just as those children were the victim of the gunman, so too the gunman was a victim of his delusions.  Our normal reaction is we do not want to generate compassion for the gunman so we resist this.  But we need to check our own behavior, and if we do so honestly we will have to admit that the more our mind is overrun by our delusions, the more we lose control over our actions.  How many times have we all gotten angry, said or done something hurtful, and then later regretted it?  How many times have we been seized by attachment to somebody we find attractive and found ourselves engaging in all sorts of stupid behavior even though we know it just creates more problems?  What will now follow in the press is a debate about whether the gunman was insane or not.  I’m sorry, the answer is obvious, only an insane person would do something like this.

Saying somebody is the victim of their delusions does not, however, absolve them of the personal responsibility for their actions.  In each moment we have a choice to follow our delusions or to not.  Sometimes the choice is a very hard one to make, such as maintaining one’s commitment to never smoke again, but we do have this choice.  So we are responsible for our actions, no doubt.  But if we have never learned that it is even possible to say no to our delusions and we have never learned methods for how to do so and we have no history or habit built up of doing so, it is not difficult to see how our delusions can overwhelm us.  Look at Gen-la Samden.  Here is somebody who clearly knew the Dharma, was a very sincere practitioner, very close to enlightenment no doubt, yet he too was overwhelmed by the trickery of delusions.  So there is no contradiction between acknowledging delusions render us uncontrolled and maintaining that we must each assume personal responsibility for the continuum of our actions.

On this basis, a Kadampa response to events such as these begins with compassion for the victims, the families and the community.  But it also extends to the gunman and to those who now want revenge on him.  The gunman is no doubt in hell now.  Rejoicing in this only guarantees that we will soon join him.  A Kadampa wants noone in hell and wants all in a pure land.

So the question then arises, how can we maintain pure view of events such as this.  We can do so only internally, not externally.  Pure view is a personal thing informed by an accumulated wisdom of knowing how to look at tragedy in a beneficial way.  From a conventional point of view, this is horrible, plain and simple.  Conventionally, we must acknowledge that.  But horrible things contain within them powerful lessons about why it is better to be pure and good.  Pure view does not mean that we say horrible appearances are perfect  from their own side, rather it means we know how to internally receive perfect benefit from whatever appears.  We know how to learn something pure and perfect from even the most horrible appearances.

Nothing is emanated from its own side, but it becomes “emanated” depending upon our view.  With faith and wisdom we can derive spiritual lessons from tragedies and therefore use them as powerful motors pushing us along our path to the final solution of enlightenment for all.  We may feel “guilty” about receiving benefit from something so bad, but this is not correct.  In fact, we can say the only way to truly honor the dead and make their loss have meaning is if we use it for something good.  If we don’t, then it is only tragedy.

 

In praise of Jesus!

Kadampa Ryan My Kadampa understanding of the Bible

Anybody who knows me well knows that one of the things I take most seriously is the advice to follow one tradition purely without mixing.  The actual instruction is while respecting and appreciating all other traditions, we should follow our own tradition purely without mixing.  This is the middle way between fundamentalism on one hand (only I am right, everyone else is wrong) and inventing your own religion on the other (mixing and matching many different traditions according to your own views).  Both of these are extremes which lead to problems, whereas respecting and appreciating all other traditions while following one’s own tradition purely without mixing leads to harmony and personal spiritual progress.

But sometimes I see Kadampa’s forgetting the first half of this advice to genuinely respect and appreciate other traditions.  Many people who come into Buddhism do so from having been raised in and subsequently rejected Christianity.  Some people come with very hostile views, even, towards Christianity.  Others may have some arrogance thinking that Buddhism is just hipper and smarter because of the teachings on emptiness, so they speak disparagingly and arrogantly towards other religions.  I have done all of these things myself in the past, and all of this is wrong.

Last night I watched a movie on the life of Jesus.  There is an entire DVD collection on the main stories of the bible that won someting like 11 Emmy awards that was really well done, and I watched the one on Jesus.  While I was watching, my daughter came down and was wondering why I, as a Buddhist, was watching something about Jesus.  She thought because I follow one path I am somehow prevented from believing in and appreciating other paths.  She was relieved to know this was not the case because it helps resolve a tension within herself of having lots of Christian family and being raised in Christian cultures, yet I am Buddhist.

So I thought I would write some of the things I really appreciated about the life of Jesus.

  1. He had to do all that he did while being only human.  While being the son of God, he accomplished all of his deeds as a human, with human constraints and limitations.  He had to face the same temptations of lust, power, the opportunity to kick off the Roman oppressors, etc.  He faced the same challenges of people trying to undermine him, dealing with relationships, etc.  He endured all of his sufferings as a man.  This is an inspiring example that if he can do all that he did as a man, then so can we.
  2. He healed through the power of others’ faith.  Very often when he was to perform some miracle, he always asked whether the other person believed.  When they did, then they or their loved ones were healed.  It is not that he had the power from his own side to heal, but the healing occured in dependence upon other’s faith.
  3. At several points in the story, he or others were obliged to expereince some suffering or dificulty to expose their doubts so that others could come to believe.  Examples include him turning water into wine, walking on water to save the disciples on the boat in the storm, Lazarus being raised from the dead, his being crucified to take on the sins of all, and his resurrection to show that he can overcome death.  His power comes primarily from other’s faith in him, so much of what he did was designed to increase others’ faith.  Of course different things work to increase others faith today, but at the time, that was how things were done.
  4. He said “blessed are the poor, for they shall inherit the earth.”  It seems the essence of the Christian way is to identify those in greatest need, those who are the most lost, those who are the most outcast, and to bring them into the fold.  He cared for the poor and the sick, he did not judge the prostitutes or the tax collectors, He said, “he is the way”, and I think this is a large part of what he meant.  He was not afraid to take on the rich and powerful (the temple marketplace, the Jewish establishment at the time, etc.).  It is not surprising that Christianity is dying in Europe but being reborn in Africa and Latin America.  It is a theology that liberates the oppressed and downtrodden, and sadly the powerful have a tendency to hijack religion for their own worldly ends, often giving religion a bad name (when in reality, the fault lies not with the religion but by those who misuse it).
  5. At one point, he asked his followers, “what do you want from God?”  And somebody said, “forgiveness.”  So he said, “then forgive others.”  Then somebody said, “love.”  So he said, “then love others.”  Bascially, whatever we would want from God (however defined) we need to give to others.
  6. He was always quite playful with others, not stuck up and tight; yet he always submitted to the will of God, even when that meant the ultimate price, never putting his own preferences first.  This is an extraordinary subtle balance to attain.
  7. Even though he only taught for a very short period of time, his example and teachings have inspired billions for thousands of years.  Who amongst us can say the same?  Even a very short period of pure deeds by one small man from a destitute family can change the world.
  8. He said he lives in the hearts of men and will be with us until the end of the world.  This is extremely profound and reveals his nature.
  9. He spoke of bringing the Kingdom of Heaven on earth, the pure land is not somewhere else.

Unrelated to his example, I find it interesting that much of world history of the last 2000 years has been driven by a family fued amongst the sons of Abraham.  Jesus emerged from within the Jewish community, yet revitalized it by exposing how it has become corrupted by power.  The Jewish establishment sought compromise with Rome as the means of preventing the people and the temple from being wiped out.  They were not necessarily wrong or corrupt, but didn’t know what else to do.  The relationship between the Jews and Christians has always been an interesting one, sometimes tragic as in the holocaust, sometimes familial as in Western support for Israel.

It will be interesting to see how things evolve as power in the world shifts, for the first time in a very long time, from the Abrahamic nations to the East. Our job as Kadampas is tied up in this process.  I have lived my whole life in the Western world, dominated by Christianity but evolving into a pluralistic society based on the freedom of religions as the resolution of the last 2000 years of conflict.  Yet, internally, I am 100% Kadampa.  So I must fully learn to undertand and appreciate Christian society if I am to live within it as a Kadampa.  Learning how to do this is part of this larger transition the world is going through.

In any case, I think there is much to appreciate and respect in pure Christianity, and coming to appreciate and respect it, while following my own tradition purely without mixing in my own practice, is part of my path.

Your turn:  Explain what inspires you about Jesus or Christians, and how this has helped you become a better Kadampa.

Knowing when and how to help

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

We all know the story of the guy who saved the fish by putting him in a nearby pond, but then that fish ate all the other fish in the pond, and when the owners of the pond found out what happened they killed the fish that was saved.  The moral of the story is it is not enough to just be compassionate, we need to have wisdom knowing whether our help is actually helpful and beneficial.  When we look at most of the challenges in the world today, how to respond to them often turns to this question of when and how to help so that our help doesn’t make things worse.

If we look at the debate between conservatives and liberals in the U.S., this is the fundamental question.  When we look at the debate on how to respond to the Eurozone crisis, this is the fundamental question.  When we look at the debates about how to raise responsible children, this is the fundamental question.  Therefore, understanding the nature of the problem and having an answer to this question is very important.

Imagine you are confronted with somebody who has a big problem because they have made wrong choices (be it Greece, a rebellious teenager, or people failing to succeed in the modern world).  How should we help this person?  One extreme is creating a moral hazard.  If we just solve the other person’s problems for them, then they never face the consequences of their wrong choices and are therefore never forced to learn to make correct choices.  If we always clean up their mess, they face no consequences and will know we will always be there to clean up their mess, so they will continue to make wrong choices again and again.  The other extreme is letting them drown.  If the harmful consequences of their wrong decisions are so severe that experiencing them actually decreases their capacity to be able to solve their own problems even if they choose to do so, then letting them drown and face the music condemns them.  They will likely give up trying because they know even if they did, they will still fail, and they will fall farther and farther down (blaming you along the way).

So what is the middle way?  It is show solidarity for capacity building.  This proceeds in several steps.

First, you need to distinguish between problems within their control versus problems outside of their control.  Ultimately, of course, from a karmic perspective everything that happens to us is the karmic result of our past actions, so you could say that everything is within our control.  But conventionally speaking, this is not the case in the short run.  In the short run, certain karmic seeds have already ripened and there is nothing we can do about it.  These are things that are outside of our control.  For example, if we have been born into a poor and dysfunctional family, karmically this is of course the result of our past actions, but for purposes of our life that karma has already ripened, and now we have to deal with it.  For problems outside of somebody’s control, as bodhisattvas there is no fault in doing whatever we can to mitigate against whatever external problems the person is facing all while holding them responsible for what they do have control over.  While the external circumstance is something they might not have control over, we should help the other person not use that external circumstance as an excuse to not try for the things they do have control over.

For the things that are within the control of the other person, the next step is to identify whether the other person is trying their best to dig themselves out of the hole they have fallen into.  How will we know if they are trying their best?  Usually, we just know.  We can tell.  There is no magic formula here, just go with your gut instinct and request wisdom blessings to know.

If the other person is trying their best, then you focus your help on equipping them with the tools and capacity to solve their own problems.  This is the classic, give a man a baguette you feed him for a day; teach a man to bake his own baguette’s, you feed him for life.  For a country, this may mean helping them rebuild their administrative and institutional capacity; for an unemployed person, this may mean retraining them in employable skills; for a struggling teenager, this may mean getting them a tutor.  But while they are retraining, yes, it is necessary to also feed them baguettes!  You can’t just teach him how to bake if he starves while he is learning to do so, you also need to feed him while he is learning.  Teaching people to stand on their own two feet, and indeed to enter into a virtuous cycle of self-reinforcing and self-perpetuating personal growth is the final goal.  How far should we go with this?  All the way to taking them to enlightenment.

If the other person is not trying their best, then things become more complicated.  The first thing you need to do is stop making excuses for them.  You need to refuse to assent to their narrative that all of their problems are because of other people or some external circumstance.  You need to help them identify which areas they do have control over, and you need to make very clear that they are responsible for those areas and if they fail in those areas, they have nobody to blame but themselves.  If you doing this fairly and with skill, inside they will know you are right even if externally they would never admit it to you.

The second thing you need to do is give them a warning.  You say, “look, I will stand by you to help you develop the skills and capacity you need to dig yourself out of your hold, but you need to do all the work – I can’t do it for you.  But if you choose to not do so, this is what the natural consequence of what your bad choice will be…”  Then you just explain to them how the world works and what will happen to them naturally in the world if they don’t do what they need to do.  For the country, this could mean them going bankrupt.  For the unemployed worker, this could mean them finding themselves on the street.  For the rebellious teenager, this could mean failing to graduate with all of the consequences.  You give them one more chance – saying next time you are not going to bail them out if, after your explaining to them the consequences, they continue to make the wrong choices.

Then, if they nonetheless make the wrong choice, you need to then not bail them out fully.  You bail them out only enough so that their capacity is not permanently destroyed by the consequences, but nothing more.  You don’t need to punish them, the world will do that for you naturally.  When they face the consequences of their bad choices, they will kick and scream and blame you, but this is just how the world works and the only way they will learn is by getting burned.  Again, I am not saying let them drown, but I am saying only prevent them from doing so completely.  Throughout this time, you should make clear that your offer of helping them dig themselves out always stands.

Allowing them to sufer the consequences of their wrong choices will often mean you yourself will have to experience some negative consequences, such as them blaming you or seeing them sufer or perhaps when they fall, they bring you down with them.  These consequences you just need to accept as the price of you helping the other person by not helping them (unless doing so destroys your capacity permanently, at which point the calculation is different).

If, despite facing the negative consequences of their wrong choices, the person still does not decide to start trying their best to dig themselves out, then there is little else you can do than pray for them.  You should continue to protect them from such extreme consequences that their facing them would permanently destroy their capacity to ever dig themselves out, but it may mean you having to watch them waste their life.  You should never stop requsting Dorje Shugden to arrage whatever conditions are perfect for them to attain enlightenment.  Request him to bless their minds so that whatever they are experiencing becomes a cause of their enlightenment.  Your offer to help them grow in capacity should always stand, but it might not be until future lives that you can execute on it.  During all of this time, you should request wisdom blessings to try better understand how you can break through to the other person, but nonetheless accept that at present there are things also beyond your control.  You can explain the way, but they must make the journey themselves.

Your turn:  Share some wisdom you have learned about knowing when and how to help others.

Always take the broader view

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life

Kadam Bjorn once said there is not a single Dharma mind is narrow or closed, they are all open and vast.  Most of our daily problems and wrong attitudes come because we are too tight, too narrow, too closed in our thinking and outlook.  I have had several experiences over the last 24 hours, all of which have pointed to the same conclusion:  “always take the broader view.”

First, yesterday I attended a conference by a group of young Muslim activists here in Belgium.  They are putting together an umbrella organization of all of the different Muslim associations that target empowerment of the Muslim community, whether it be for the young, for women or for entrepreneurs.  We brought in some really high-calibre American Muslim activists to exchange experiences, etc.  What really impressed me was how each time they took the high road.  One of them was a woman who founded a chic Elle-style magazine for Muslim women.  The goal of the magazine is to help break the stereotypes and show there is no contradiction between being a fully empowered woman and being a Muslim.  She said something that really struck me, she said, “Excellence is the best defense against discrimination.”  She encouraged them to strive for excellence in everything they do and in doing so, all wrong stereotypes will fall away with time and by force of the example.

Later in the day, I was debating with somebody about the Eurozone crisis, and they were looking at it purely from the German national view, and from that view, everything the Germans are saying makes some sense.  But when looked at from the broader European and macroeconomic view, their conclusions no longer make sense.  Then later I was thinking about those who work on issues related to international organizations.  At that level, you are thinking about things from the perspective of the planet as a whole, so again, have a higher view.  And then this lead me to think about how Buddhas have the highest, broadest view of all because they look at things from the perspective of what is best for the enlightenment of all living beings.

Then later in the evening, I was watching the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, and he had the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development on.  He was talking about the millions of homeless people in America.  He talked about people “losing their home”, not just single kids on drugs, but whole families.  When we think about it, having the appearance of a “home” is incredible karma.  When many people look at the homeless, they think “its their fault, they need to work and get a job.”  Yes, people need to take responsibility for themselves, but that does not mean we do not, as a society, also need to assume our responsibility to our community and others.  Many times people try to justify not helping others on the grounds that helping them doesn’t actually help them.  They say, “give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish, and you feed him for life.”  But then they use this phrase as justification for not giving him a fish, but they also don’t teach him to fish either!  When an earthquake, flood or tsunami wipes out an area, we can all see it is not their fault and we rush to aid.  But a financial crisis, like we had in 2008 and are continuing to have with the Eurozone crisis, is also like a natural disaster, it is a financial disaster which wipes out everyone, the guilty and innocent alike.  Imagine how you would feel if for no fault of your own your employer went bankrupt due to the crisis, you lost your job, couldn’t find another job, and lost your home and found yourself on the street with your family with nowhere to turn for help?  The Secretary took the broader view.  He said they have found that in the long-run it is actually cheaper to eliminate homelessness than it is to allow it to continue.  It costs society about $40,000 per year for a homeless person between shelters, clinics, etc.  Of course most of that money comes from charitable donations, but it is much cheaper in the long run to take them in, help them get back on their feet, give them training and help them find a job than to year after year keep them homeless.  In the old days, they told homeless people “if you sober up, we will find you housing.”  This seems like wisdom, but it fails to understand the trauma of being homeless.  When they reversed this and pursued a “housing first” policy, the people then had enough societal support to begin the work of sobering up and those with psychiatric problems started taking their medicines again.

In Europe, there is a whole community of homeless called the Roma.  It is incredibly sad and anger-provoking at the same time.  You see these mothers on the street with their very small children, and they are teaching their kids how to look pathetic and how to beg and even how to trick people into giving by pretending to be doing Red Cross petitions.  You can’t help but get angry at the parents, why aren’t they putting their kids in school.  But then when we take a broader view, you see a different story.  Is it the kids fault that they were born into such a family?  They grow up and are raised in such an environment so they never learn how to do anything else.  As a people they face tremendous discrimination and are never trusted, so they are never given an opportunity to get on a different track.  If all you have ever known how to do is scrape by on the streets, when later you have kids, you will do the same thing.  So it perpetuates generation after generation.  Those who do manage to escape never look back and try to hide the fact that they are Roma because there is so much discrimination, so all the best escape and only the least capable remain without any support.  They become enculturated into crime and begging, which then causes people to discriminate against them even more in a vicious cycle.  It is very sad, and there is no real solution that I know of other than massive investment in retraining.

I think in any situation, we will find the wisdom view by taking the broader view.  When our mind feels spacious and has space for both wisdom and compassion for everyone, then we know we are on the right track.  If we find ourselves judging, being defensive, feeling tight, narrow, stressed out, etc., then we should try take the broader view.

Your turn:  Describe some problem in your life, and how by taking the broader view you realize a wisdom view of that situation.

 

Change is inevitable – don’t resist, rather learn to adapt

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Most of the problems and frustrations we have in our life come as a result of our attitude towards change.  The cycle is usually some change happens, we become upset about the things we lost in the change and we develop aversion towards some of the new things that have come about as a result of the change.  Then, usually after some drama and a fair amount of time, we come to let go of what we have lost, we come to accept our new inconveniences, and we even come to discover some new good things in our changed environment.  Just when we get comfortable and happy with our new situation, some new change will come about and the whole cycle starts over again.  This cycle occurs with basically everything:  our friends, our jobs, our kids, our surroundings, our enjoyments, etc.

For our family, this cycle primarily plays itself out in the form of being sent to new postings.  Every two to three years, we will be sent someplace new in the world and have to start our lives all over again.  But this cycle started long before I became a diplomat.  In the last 21 years, I have moved a total of 18 times!  Not always to different cities or countries, but to different homes or contexts.  I never seem to remain…

In reality, this is the natural state of affairs in samsara.  Everything is constantly changing.  This is a fact of life, whether we accept/like it or not.  Some people use all of their energy trying to resist this inevitable change.  They do everything they can to keep everything the same.  When we approach life this way, we begin to fear everything, view everything as a threat, and we increasingly enscone ourselves in an artificially static world.  It eventually grows harder and harder to hold back the tide of change, our mental strain grows and grows, we become increasingly grumpy, dissatisfied and picky.  We get stuck in our habits and can’t imagine life any other way.  The radius of our world gets smaller and smaller, the information and new perspectives we become exposed to narrower and narrower, until eventually we find ourselves in a single chair in an informational echo chamber of things confirming what we already believe.  We become completely stuck, enmeshed in what is for all practical purposes a karmic straight jacket.  To do anything out of our normal routines becomes inconceivably hard.  But even then, like it or not, change comes – and for us, it becomes all the more traumatic and wrenching. This is no way to live a life!

Since change is inevitable, instead of resisting it, we need to learn to embrace and adapt to it.  We should view each major change in our life as if we have died and been reborn in a new life.  We take from our old life the lessons we have learned, and we enter our new life with a mind eager to discover what is around the corner.  Each new change will force us to grow in some way, to change ourselves, to learn how to be equally happy in any and all circumstances.  The reality is all worlds, all lives are equally empty.  So no matter what new world or circumstance we find ourselves in, we have an absolutely equal chance of being perfectly happy.  This is simply a fact.  Our job as a Kadampa in this ever-changing world is to gain the ability to be equally happy everywhere.  Each new world is an opportunity to expand the envelope of our capacity to transform new and different circumstances into something we consider to be “ideal.”  As we tell our kids, “every situation is equally good, just in different ways.”

This is also where reliance upon Dorje Shugden becomes so important.  Through relying upon him, we can know with absolute certainty that whatever changes have happened in our life are exactly what we need.  We can know that our new circumstance is exactly perfect.  Knowing this, our only remaining task is to realize how and why.  If we don’t know, we just request wisdom blessings from him that he reveal to us how and why our circumstances are indeed perfect.  We might not get an answer right away, but before the end, it will all fall into place and we will realize how amazingly skilful he is in shepparding us to enlightenment.

It will sometimes be hard, it will sometimes take longer than we would like, but through embracing this task of learning to be equally happy in every new situation we find ourselves in, we will develop the ability to always be happy.  From this, an enormous confidence comes which knows we will be able to take this ability with us in life after life.  It is not enough to just be happy in this life, we need to learn how to be happy in every life, life after life.  Learning to embrace and adapt to change is, therefore, not only the key to happiness in this life, but to happiness in all our future lives.

Your turn:  Describe some change that you have resisted.  How did you eventually learn to adapt to it?