Author: Kadampa Ryan

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Behave yourself in Spiritual Communities

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Speaking falsely about profound emptiness. 

This vow says if we lack a correct understanding of emptiness and yet teach emptiness to others, claiming with a selfish motivation that we have a direct realization of emptiness, we incur a root downfall.

I don’t know anybody who claims to have a direct realization of emptiness, so I think there is little danger of any of us incurring this root downfall, but there is a danger of us committing a similitude of this downfall.  Those who have some notions of emptiness know how much fun it is to debate and discuss it.  Few, if any, of us have a correct understanding.  Yet when we speak, we have a natural tendency to speak as if we were to a certain extent an authority on the subject.  I, for one, do this all the time.  Even though I am not engaging in a root downfall, I am certainly quite frequently engaging in a similitude of this downfall.  I need to stop this.

This does not mean we can’t discuss emptiness.  Rather it means we need to make it abundantly clear to any potential reader or listener that what we are explaining is just our personal understanding of what the teachings mean, but everyone who reads or listens to our explanations should take them with a grain of salt and investigate these matters for themselves. 

There is nothing more important in this world than realizing emptiness.  The only way to escape from a prison with no doors is to wake up from the dream in which we are trapped in such a prison.  Realizing emptiness is how we do this.  Given its importance, this is something we must discuss all the time; but given its importance, it is something we must discuss in a correct and skillful way.

Accepting property that has been stolen from the Three Jewels. 

We incur this downfall if we accept goods that we know have been stolen from the Three Jewels.  We do not incur this downfall if we accept something that we do not know has been stolen.

If have even a suspicion that something we are using has been stolen from the three jewels, then it is our responsibility to ask the question to make sure we are not stealing.  If we don’t, we are incurring a similitude of this downfall.  If we know, or have reason to believe, that somebody else has stolen something from the three jewels and through our actions we somehow lend legitimacy to their claim over the object, then I think this is also an example of accepting property that has been stolen from the three jewels. 

If we have it within our power to return property that has been stolen and we fail to do so, then I also think this is a similitude of a downfall. 

Making bad rules. 

Those in charge of spiritual communities incur this downfall if they make rules that unnecessarily interfere with pure Dharma practice, such as having business activities take precedence over the practice of meditation.

We have to be careful with understanding this.  The development model of the NKT is one of indigenous growth.  In other words, things are built in dependence upon the extent to which a local sangha is willing to do the work to build it.  A mother center may provide some initial support to get a branch class of the ground, but the expectation is after that initial start up support, the center is basically on their own until they reach a sufficiently big size that they are in a position to buy some building or start taking on full-time staff.  Then there is another period of brief support which quickly ends, and the now larger center is basically on its own until it reaches the point where it could become a KMC.  The NKT takes no outside money from anybody.  The Dharma cannot flourish in this world without the underlying supporting physical infrastructure.  This requires both money and labor on the part of the local sangha. 

Happy Tara Day: How to increase our faith in Tara

Kadampa Ryan How to Rely Upon Tara, Tara Days

This is the third installment of the 12-part series sharing my understanding of the practice Liberation from Sorrow.

Homage to the Twenty-one Taras

OM Homage to Venerable Arya Tara

The main purpose of reciting the twenty-one homages is to generate faith in Arya Tara.  Faith is what gives Buddhas power to help us.  It is not they hold back their help waiting for our faith and respect, rather when we generate faith we open the blinds of our mind to allow the sunlight of their blessings to pour in.  There are three types of faith:  believing faith, admiring faith, and wishing faith.  Believing faith believes in the qualities and abilities of holy beings.  Admiring faith generates a feeling of wonder, amazed at their incredible good qualities.  Wishing faith wishes to be the beneficiary of such power, and superior wishing faith wishes to gain these good qualities ourselves so we can do for others what the holy beings can do for us.  The more faith we have, the more powerfully we will receive the blessings of the given Buddha.  To paraphrase Lord Acton, faith empowers and absolute faith empowers absolutely. 

When we recite the twenty-one homages, we can train in increasing our faith.  Typically, we recite the twenty-one homages three times.  With the first recitation, we can primarily train in believing faith; with the second recitation, we can focus on admiring faith; and with the final recitation, we can emphasize wishing faith.  In this way, we will build up powerful potential energy in our mind for the remainder of the practice.

Praising Tara by her life story

Homage to Tara, the Swift One, the Heroine,
Whose eyes are like a flash of lightning,
Who arose from the opening of a lotus,
Born from the tears of the Protector of the Three Worlds.

Each time we receive a Tara empowerment, we hear Tara’s life story.  She has both a common and an uncommon life story.  Her common life story is as a bodhisattva, some sexist monk said if she continues in this way, she can pray to be reborn as a man so she can become a Buddha.  Upon hearing this, she vowed to always take rebirth in a female form and ultimately attain enlightenment in a female form.  She was the first feminist.  Her uncommon life story is Avalokiteshvara, the Buddha of Compassion, wept as he looked at how many beings remained to be liberated.  His tears fell into the clear light emptiness, and Arya Tara arose telling him to not worry, she would help him free all living beings.  When we recite this verse, it is important to make this personal – she became Tara for us, and so we should generate a feeling of closeness and gratitude.

Praising Tara by the brightness and radiance of her face

Homage to you with a face like a hundred full moons in autumn
Gathered together into one;
Blazing with brilliant light
Like a thousand constellations.

Sometimes people wonder how it is Buddhas can help all living beings directly and simultaneously.  There are so many living beings, how exactly can we understand their emanations pervading all worlds?  For me, there are two analogies that help, both of which are illustrated by this verse.  First, while there is only one moon in the sky, it nonetheless spontaneously reflects on the surface of every body of water in the world without its light being diminished in the process.  In the same way, the wisdom moon of Mother Tara shines in the sky of our mind, and spontaneously appears on the surface of every mind of faith in the world.  Second, imagine a wheel with countless straw-like spokes.  If you shined a light inside any one spoke, it would illuminate just that spoke, but if you moved the light into the hub of the wheel, it would illuminate all of the spokes directly and simultaneously.  In the same way, Tara’s brilliant light shines into the spokes of our minds like a thousand constellations.

Praising Tara by her colour, what she holds and her causes

Homage to you who are bluish gold,
Your hand perfectly adorned with a lotus flower;
Who arose from practising giving, moral discipline,
Patience, effort, concentration and wisdom.

Blue generally represents Buddha Akshobya, the completely purified aggregate of consciousness of all the Buddhas; and gold (yellow) represents Buddha Ratnasambhava, the completely purified aggregate of feeling of all the Buddhas.  A purified aggregate of consciousness is one that is free from the two obstructions, and a purified aggregate of feeling experiences all phenomena equally as manifestions of bliss and emptiness.  By praising Tara as being bluish gold, we recall her purified consciousness and feeling and generate faith.  A lotus flower generally symbolizes how an object of complete beauty and purity (a lotus flower) emerges from a contaminated source (the mud in the pond).  In the same way, our eventual enlightenment will emerge despite our origin being contaminated.  Tara holding a lotus flower symbolizes her power to lead contaminated beings such as ourselves to enlightenment.  All Buddhas attain enlightenment in exactly the same way – through training in the six perfections of giving, moral discipline, patience, effort, concentration and wisdom.  We sometimes think Buddhas were always enlightened and they are somehow different than the rest of us, but they were suffering sentient beings once as well just like us, and through their practice of the six perfections they attained enlightenment.  If we do the same, we too will attain the same results.  Recalling Tara’s causes reminds us of that and shows her power to help us train in the six perfections ourselves. 

Praising Tara by her being honoured by the Conquerors and the Bodhisattvas

Homage to you who surmount the Tathagatas’ ushnishas,
Whose victorious actions are limitless;
Who are greatly honoured by the Sons of the Conquerors,
Who have attained every perfection.

The primary purpose of this verse is to increase our faith in Tara as an enlightened being.  Normally, we view our spiritual guide on our crown.  Tara being on the crown of all the Tathagatas indicates that she is the spiritual guide of all the Tathagatas.  Victorious actions refer to her victory over the four maras, delusions, and all other objects of abandonment along the path.  She is honoured by all the Bodhisattvas (Sons of the Conquerors) because she is their mother, and she has attained every perfection.  Considering these qualities, we generate deep faith in her.

Praising Tara by her subduing unfavourable conditions

Homage to you who with the letters TUTTARA and HUM
Fill the realms of desire, direction and space.
With the seven classes of evil spirits beneath your feet,
You are able to draw all beings to bliss.

Here, we imagine that from the mantra rosary at her heart, countless light rays radiate out in all directions, filling the entire universe and dispelling all unfavorable conditions and obstructions to our practice of Dharma.  We imagine she is doing this for the benefit of ourself and all living beings.  There are countless evil spirits (all empty) who wish to obstruct our Dharma practice, but she is able to overcome them all single-handedly.  Through her powerful actions, we then imagine she draws all living beings into the bliss of her Dharmakaya where they are perfectly freed from all unfavorable conditions.

Praising Tara by her being worshipped by the great worldly gods

Homage to you who are worshipped by Indra, Agni,
Brahma, Vayu, and the other mighty gods;
And before whom the host of evil spirits,
Zombies, smell-eaters and givers of harm respectfully offer praise.

Normally living beings look up to the worldly gods, but worldly gods worship Tara.  If we bow to them and they bow to her, then we certainly should also bow to her.  Normally we fear evil spirits, but they too offer praise and respect to Tara.  We would think evil spirits would also fear Tara since she is the opposite of evil and has the power to overcome them, but she is so loving and skillful, even her would-be enemies respectfully offer her praise.  By relying upon her, we too can gain the ability to earn the respect of those who oppose our virtuous wishes.

Cherishing Only Others with Wisdom:

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra, 4. Practicing in Daily Life , , , ,

Once we make the decision to cherish only others, the question then becomes how do we do so with wisdom. There are many common traps we can fall into along the way.

Venerable Geshe-la famously explained in New Eight Steps to Happiness that, “the path to enlightenment is really very simple – all we need to do is stop cherishing ourself and learn to cherish others. All other spiritual realizations will naturally follow from this.”

The whole reason why we attain enlightenment is to help others more effectively. Attaining enlightenment itself depends upon generating bodhichitta, the actual wish to attain enlightenment for the sake of others. Bodhichitta depends upon great compassion, a mind that cannot bear the suffering of others trapped in samsara and strongly wishes to protect others from samsara’s sufferings. Great compassion depends upon cherishing others, considering their happiness and freedom to be something important to us. We develop this mind primarily by developing a feeling of gratitude for others kindness, realizing how self-cherishing is the cause of all our suffering, and clearly understanding that cherishing others is the actual root of our enlightenment (the solution to all of our own and others problems) since all other realizations of the path flow naturally from this. All this leads to the conclusion we need to cherish only others.

But once we have made this decision, it is very easy for us to fall into a wide variety of traps and mistakes. In particular, I want to highlight five mistakes that I have made in the hope others might be able to avoid them. It is not enough to just cherish only others, we need to learn to do so with wisdom.

One mistake we make is developing a savior complex. We think it is our job to save others, that we are responsible for both their suffering and for saving them from it. Such an approach, while well-intended, winds up creating dependency in others where they become incapable of helping themselves, they wait for the messiah, and think they can’t be happy or escape from their suffering without us doing something. In effect, this disempowers them to save themselves.

A related mistake is cherishing others with a martyr complex. Here, we wind up sacrificing ourself – destroying our own capacity to help – in the name of cherishing others. This can take many forms, such as taking on more than we can handle, pushing ourselves beyond our limits, leading to some form of burnout. Or it can take the form of sacrificing our own practice of Dharma because we are so busy “cherishing others” we don’t have time to properly invest in our practice, or maybe others resent our practice and so we think to cherish them we need to abandon it, even if only on the margin. This can also lead to resentment of those we are supposedly cherishing. We know our cherishing of them is leading to our burnout, destroying our capacity, or causing us to sacrifice our practice and then we start to resent others for not realizing what they are doing to us – we do so much for them and they just take, take, take, and don’t give a damn about how it is destroying us.

A mistake that has many, many levels to it is cherishing others mixed with attachment. The common denominator of all these levels is us being OK depends upon them being OK. When they do down, we go down with them. Our happiness depends upon them being OK. Nobody is OK in samsara, we are all drowning, so if we confuse our cherishing love with attachment to them being happy, then instead of it leading to enlightenment, our cherishing others makes the whole world’s problem our problem, and all the suffering of the world our suffering. We can quickly become despondent, discouraged, and give in to despair. It’s true, we need to “feel” other’s suffering as acutely as our own, but this doesn’t mean we should make everybody’s suffering our own. We care about their suffering as much as our own, but we don’t experience it. It’s not our suffering. This is a crucial distinction.

Another common mistake is helping too much, this often flows out of the savior complex, but can also come from just a lack of wisdom understanding what is more beneficial. We all know the saying of it is more helpful to teach a man to fish than give him one. The answer, of course, is give him a fish while you are teaching him how to do so so he doesn’t starve before he learns how to fish for himself. When we help too much – doing things for others that they can do for themselves – they never learn how to actually do things on their own and remain forever dependent. Breaking this cycle can be very difficult, especially if we have been carrying others too much for a long time. It puts us in these terrible dilemmas where either we step in to help or they crash and burn, perhaps losing everything they have been working for their whole life. But if we take a gradual approach, it can be done. It’s also like teaching a toddler how to walk. At first, they hold your finger but at some point they need to let go and walk on their own.

An additional common mistake we can make is assuming cherishing others means giving them whatever they want. Most people are completely controlled by their delusions, so what they want is what their delusions want. If we give others what their delusions want, we just feed their delusions which actually harms them. Sometimes, we have to say no – we could give them what they want, but we refuse to do so because we know it is not what is in their best interests. Or sometimes we have to speak some hard truths to them – give them some tough love, things they need to hear but don’t want to hear. They may even hate us for doing or saying these things, cut off communication with us, blame us for all their problems, start a smear campaign against us with anybody and everybody they speak with, including those we know. It can get real ugly. They may resort to all sorts of emotional blackmail or guilt trip us about being a bad Buddhist for not doing what their delusions want us to do for them. But we sometimes need to love others enough to do or say things that they will hate us for. This is a hard one.

Each one of these mistakes has many levels and we should request blessings to identify how we are making them. Then, we gradually purify our cherishing of others of them. At the same time or subsequently, we can then start informing our cherishing of others with the wisdom realizing emptiness, understanding that the others in our life are actually mere karmic projections of our mind. Realizing this without falling into the extreme of solipsism is a whole other topic worth exploring. Once we have some experience of the union of cherishing others and the wisdom realizing emptiness, then our tantric practice of pure view of others, the power of prayers to help them, etc., all take on much deeper meaning and develop significantly more power. But again, that is another very large topic.

The point is, while it is true all other realizations naturally follow from the decision to cherish only others, actually doing so skillfully and with wisdom is a vast practice. But slowly, slowly we purify our cherishing love of these mistakes and learn how to deepen it with emptiness and the tantric teachings, and eventually it carries us all the way through compassion, to bodhichitta, to full enlightenment, to the real reason why we did all this in the first place – to be able to help others find everlasting peace and happiness.

Happy trails!

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Have respect for the Hinayana

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Causing others to abandon the Pratimoksha. 

We incur a root downfall if we cause an ordained person to give up their Vinaya practice saying that it is not relevant to the Mahayana path.

I know some very senior ordained teachers who talk of women effectively throwing themselves at them.  The temptations must be great indeed.  To engage in actions which cause somebody to lose their ordination, which we can do merely with some wrong words spoken, is, in my view, to commit spiritual murder, or at the very least to assist in somebody’s suicide. 

I am aware of the fact that these are dramatic words.  But when somebody gets ordained, their old ordinary self quite literally dies and a new being is born, Kelsang Something or Another.  If that person disrobes, the person who was formerly known as Kelsang whatever quite literally dies, vanishing from this earth. 

We sometimes think ordained people are so strong, and sometimes the recently ordained think everything will now be so easy.  But both views are wrong.  One of my teachers once said, “getting married is easy, it is staying married where the real work is.  In the same way, getting ordained is easy, it is staying ordained where the real work is.”  Just as we would be careful to not encourage others to do things which might jeopardize their marriage, so too we need to be careful to not encourage ordained people to do things which might jeopardize their ordination. 

This vow does not only apply to the ordained Pratimoksha vows, but it also applies to the lay Pratimoksha vows (though the negative karma is greater with the ordained vows).  If we knew somebody was an alcoholic, we certainly wouldn’t invite them to a bar or put them in situations that might cause them to relapse.  In the same way, taking the Pratimoksha vows is like the alcoholic who stops drinking.  But there are tremendous tendencies within us to relapse back into our old samsaric ways.  Samsaraholics Anonymous does not exist, but it should.  And we should be just as considerate towards not leading those who have taken such vows into temptation as we would of our friends addicted to drugs, cigarettes or alcohol.

Belittling the Hinayana. 

We incur a root downfall if we have a disrespectful opinion of the Hinayana path, maintaining that it does not lead to actual liberation.  One of the most useful concepts in the Dharma is the notion of common and uncommon paths.  When I was growing up, we had a split-level house.  Halfway up the stairs, things branched off and I could go outside for example, or I could keep going up all the way and make it to my room.  It is impossible for me to get to my room without taking those first stairs, but I don’t need to take them if all I want to do is go outside.  In this way, the first half of the stairs are “common” to both paths, and the second half of the stairs is part of the “uncommon” path.  Both the person who wants to go outside and the person who wants to go to the top floor must use the first half of the stairs, but only the person who wants to go to the top floor must do all the stairs.  For such a person to belittle the first half of the stairs is to deny themselves part of their path.

In the same way, all the paths to liberation are “common” to the Mahayana path, they are part of our path.  So to belittle them is to belittle the very foundation of our eventual enlightenment.

Few among us, though would actually outright belittle those who travel other paths, but there are many subtle levels where we do this.  First, it is not uncommon for Mahayana practitioners to, even if only internally, generate pride thinking they are somehow better because than those travelling another path that leads only to liberation. 

Second, when we speak with people from the Theravadin tradition, or other traditions that seek only liberation, we need to be mindful that some of them consider it insulting to call them “Hinayanists,” the translation of which means “lesser vehicle.”  Now in the context of the Mahayana teachings (“great vehicle”) we don’t mean it in an insulting way, we use the term merely to differentiate between the intermediate and the great scope.  But that doesn’t change the fact that it is quite understandable why they could find it insulting for us to refer to them in that way.  So when we speak with them, or when we speak in public forums where they might be present, we should show appropriate consideration.

Third, another common way in which we effectively belittle the Hinayana is in how we actually practice the Dharma.  We show a bias towards the great scope meditations and especially our tantric meditations, and pay little attention to the initial and intermediate scope meditations.  Everyone enjoys meditating on love and the self-generation as the deity, but it is a little less fun to meditate on death, the lower realms, the sufferings of samsara and technical subjects like the 12 dependent-related links.  So we generally tend to avoid these meditations and focus on the ones we enjoy.  Of course these higher level meditations are wonderful in and of themselves, but their real power is only uncovered when they are engaged in on the solid foundation of the earlier meditations.  We can generate worldly compassion and love without the earlier meditations, and this is a good thing, but if we want to generate spiritual compassion and love (meaning concern about other’s future lives), then we need these earlier meditations.  We cannot generate a qualified compassion without first generating a qualified renunciation.  We cannot generate a qualified renunciation without first generating a qualified fear of lower rebirth and a realization of our own death. 

There is of course nothing wrong with engaging in the higher meditations without having built the foundation within our mind, the point is our higher meditations will only be as qualified as the foundation we have built.  We still should train in all the meditations from the very beginning because each meditation informs all the others, but our qualified realization of a higher meditation will never outstrip the extent to which we have qualified realizations of the lower meditations.  Engaging in advanced tantric practices are good, but they will only produce their declared benefits when done with the proper foundations. 

Happy Protector Day: Removing the Faults We Perceive in Others

Kadampa Ryan Protector Days, Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

The 29th of every month is Protector Day.  This is part 2 of a 12-part series aimed at helping us remember our Dharma Protector Dorje Shugden and increase our faith in him on these special days.

We can learn to be happy all the time, regardless of our external circumstances.  Normally, we are happy when things go well, but unhappy when things go badly.  When we are a spiritual being, all situations, good or bad, equally provide us with an opportunity to train our mind and create good causes for the future, so we are equally happy with whatever happens.  In this way, we can develop a real equanimity with respect to whatever happens in our life.

We have the power to free all the beings we know and love from this world of suffering.  We have the opportunity to become a fully enlightened Buddha who has the power to lead each and every living being to full enlightenment.  So eventually we can save everyone we know and love.  We can understand this at a deeper level by understanding that we are dreaming a world of suffering.  By purifying our own mind, we dream a different dream, a pure dream, and thereby free all these beings.

With this background in mind, in this series of posts I will explain a special practice we can do to make the most out of our precious human life, namely surrendering our life completely to the protection and guidance of the Dharma Protector Dorje Shugden. 

Normally we explain what to do in the meditation session first, but I wanted to explain how we rely upon Dorje Shugden in the meditation break first because this is where we first gain experience of him and see how useful he is.  Then, we naturally want to deepen our practice of him in the meditation session.

I would like to explain two key practices for the meditation break:  taking personal responsibility to remove the faults we perceive in others and viewing our life as a training ground for becoming the Buddha we need to become.  I will explain these over the next two posts.

Taking personal responsibility for removing the faults you perceive in others

Normally, we think it is the responsibility of others to remove the faults we perceive in them, but if we think about this carefully, we will realize that actually we are uniquely responsible for all the faults we perceive in others.  At a simple level, we can say that the world we experience is the world we pay attention to.  If we pay 90% of our attention on the 10% of faults in the other person, then it will seem to us that the person is 90% faulty.  This is how we will experience the other person.  This is how we make ‘enemies,’ ‘friends,’ ‘sangha,’ and even ‘Buddhas.’  In the same way, we ‘make’ faulty people. 

We can also understand this by considering emptiness.  If we consider emptiness according to Sutra, we understand that everything is just a dream-like projection of our mind. Where does this faulty person come from?  Our own projections of mind.  There is no other person other than emptiness. Are we responsible for the appearance of faults in the people of our dreams?  If yes, then we are likewise responsible for the faults in the people of the dream of our gross mind.  If we consider karma and emptiness together, we realize that others are mere appearances arising from our own karma. We engaged in actions in the past which are now creating the appearance of a ‘faulty’ person.  So it is our own past faulty actions which created this appearance of a faulty person. 

If we consider emptiness according to Tantra, we understand that these faulty people are actually different aspects, or parts, of our own mind.  We consider our right and left hands to be aspects or parts of our body.  In the same way, when we understand emptiness according to Tantra, we realize that others are merely aspects or parts of our mind.  Just as I am an appearance in my mind, so too is the ‘faulty’ person.  Both are equally appearances to my mind inside my mind.  They are different aspects of my mind.  So this is the ‘me’ part of me and that is the ‘faulty’ part of me.  When we meditate deeply on these things, we will come to the clear realization that there is no ‘other person’ other than the one created by my mind, so we are uniquely responsible for all the faults we perceive in others.

Given this, how do we actually remove the faults we perceive in others?  There are several things we can do.  First, we should make a distinction between the person and their delusion.  Just as a cancer patient is not their cancer, so too somebody sick with delusions is not their delusions. By making a separation between the person and their delusions, we no longer see faulty people, rather we see pure people sick with delusions.  We see faulty delusions, but pure beings.

Second, we need to develop a mind of patient acceptance that can transform everything.  The mind of patient acceptance is a special wisdom that has the power to transform anything into the spiritual path.  This wisdom enables practitioners to ‘accept’ everything without resistance because the bodhisattva can ‘use’ everything.  When we have this mind, what would otherwise be a fault is considered to us to be perfect because it gives us a great opportunity to further train our mind.  If we can learn to use whatever others do for our spiritual development, then their otherwise ‘faulty’ actions for us will be perfect.

Third, it is also very helpful to create a space of 100% freedom and non-judgment of others, and in that space, set a good example.  A bodhisattva does not try or need to change others.  When people feel controlled or judged, they become defensive.  If they are defensive, then it blocks them from changing because they are engaging in a process of self-justification.  For change to take place, it has to take place from the side of the person.  Internal change can only come from the inside.  Therefore, in the space of not controlling or judging others, we set a good example.  This will naturally inspire people to change from their own side.

Fourth, Venerable Tharchin once explained to me that we need to “own other’s faults as our own.”  Since the faults of others are projections of our own mind, the only reason why others appear to have any faults is because we possess those faults ourself.  Our job then is to find these faults in ourselves and purge them like bad blood.  We take the time to find where we have these same faults, and then we use the Dharma to eliminate them from ourself with a bodhichitta intention to be able to help the other person, and anyone else, who appears to have this fault.  If we practice like this, there are many different benefits.  We will gain the realizations we need to be able to help the other person overcome their problem because we have personal experience of having done that ourselves.  We will show the perfect example for the other person of somebody striving to overcome and eventually becoming free from what troubles them the most.  Our example often helps much more than our words.  More profoundly, the problem will actually disappear in the other person because it is coming from our own mind anyways.  And at the very least, we ourselves will have one less fault.  

Finally, we can adopt a pure view of others as emanations of Dorje Shugden.  I will explain this is greater detail in the next post.

Happy Tsog Day: How to Go for refuge

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 2 of a 44-part series.

Before we engage in any Dharma practice, we must first prepare our mind. We first prepare a shrine and our meditation seat, and then sit in the traditional posture. The most important thing is to maintain a straight back. We then turn our mind inwards. Since normally our mind is completely absorbed in the things we normally see and perceive, we need to first dispel all distractions. First, we can engage in some gentle breathing meditation, imagining that all our distractions and delusions are expelled from our mind in the form of black smoke, and we breathe in the blessings of our spiritual guide in the form of five-coloured wisdom lights representing the five omniscient wisdoms.

Once we have done this for a few breaths, we can then engage in a brief Mahamudra meditation on the nature of our mind. Geshe-la explains that our mind is by nature clarity and cognizing. Clarity means that our mind itself is formless. Because it is formless, it can cognize – or know – any form. If our mind had a form, then all objects known to our mind would also possess that form. Practically speaking, when we meditate on the conventional nature of our mind, we feel as if all our normal, ordinary thoughts dissolve away, like clouds back into the sky, and we are left with an infinite expanse of clear light that is a universal field of knowing. Nothing appears but the clear light, but we see this clear light as an all-pervasive field of knowing. It is like a three-dimensional blank canvas upon which any thought can be generated and known. We should feel as if our gross conceptual thoughts have completely ceased and our mind becomes completely still. We then rest in this inner stillness where everything is completely calm.

We can then generate the causes of going for refuge – namely fear and faith. Geshe-la explains in Oral Instructions of Mahamudra that we should generate a fear of samsaric rebirth like we would if we were trapped in a circle of fire. Normally we do not like generating fear and we jump straight to faith, but this is a mistake. It is primarily because we do not have a genuine, heart-felt fear that our refuge – even after so many years of dedicated practice – remains superficial and intellectual. Only when we are truly gripped by genuine fear will our refuge be qualified. Geshe-la explains that the root cause of samsara is we identify with our ordinary body and mind as if it were ourselves. In short, we remain in samsara because we identify with it as ourselves. We are like a fly on flypaper – stuck to samsara. I imagine that I am standing on top of small island surrounded by a vast molten ocean of lava and fires, in which countless hell beings are drowning. I am quite literally trapped in a circle of fire. On this island are those close to me – such as my family and work colleagues – and all living beings in this world in the aspect of human beings. The island is made of crumbling sand that is rapidly sinking into the molten ocean of samsara, gradually taking everyone I know and love into the fires of hell. Inside the ocean of fire, we can occasionally see sea monsters of the Lord of Death rising up, capturing those who have fallen off of the island, dragging them down into the depths of hell below. Myself, my family, my work colleagues, and everyone else is similarly stuck onto samsara, like flies on flypaper, and we are all sinking. It is important to remember that this is not a metaphor, this is our actual situation. We are stuck on to the island of our human bodies, sinking rapidly into the circle of fire surrounding us, swallowed up by the sea monsters of the Lord of Death, dragged down into the abyss where we may not re-emerge for countless aeons. We should let this fear touch our heart.

Then, to generate faith, we can imagine our root Guru in the aspect of Lama Losang Tubwang Dorjechang appears in the space in front of us, surrounded by all the Buddhas and bodhisattvas of the three times. They have come, like helicopters, to rescue us before we sink into the fires of hell. All we need to do is let go of our grasping at samsara and grab onto the hook of our Guru’s compassion, and he will bring us to the pure land. How do we let go of samsara? Through the practice of the three higher trainings – moral discipline, concentration, and wisdom. With moral discipline, we let go of all behaviour inconsistent with the Dharma. With concentration, we let go of distractions thinking about samsara. And with wisdom, we let go of grasping at identifying with samsara. Why do we let go of samsara? Because we do not want to sink ourselves and because we want to become a helicopter-like Buddha ourselves so we can extend the hook of our compassion to those we love just as our spiritual guide has done for us. With this mind of fear and faith, we then go for refuge according to the Sadhana.

With a perfectly pure mind of great virtue,
I and all mother sentient beings as extensive as space,
From now until we reach the essence of enlightenment,
Go for refuge to the Guru and Three Precious Jewels.

Namo Gurubhä
Namo Buddhaya
Namo Dharmaya
Namo Sanghaya  (3x)

A perfectly pure mind of great virtue refers to our minds of fear and faith as described above. With the second line, we recall ourselves and all living beings trapped in the circle of fire, sinking into samsara. With the third line we recall the final destination of our spiritual training is to bring ourself and all living beings into the clear light Dharmakaya, or Truth Body, of all the Buddhas. To go for refuge – the fourth line – we promise to make effort to receive Buddha’s blessings, turn to Sangha for help, and practice Dharma. For our refuge practice to be qualified, we need to have a very clear understanding of what, exactly, is our problem. Normally, we blame our external circumstances for our problems, but when we go for refuge, we recall the difference between our outer problem and our inner problem. Our outer problem, such as having to pay taxes, is solved through outer means; but our inner problem, our actual problem, is our deluded reaction to our external circumstance. The Three Jewels cannot help us pay our taxes, but they can help us mentally relate to doing so as an act of giving to all living beings, for example. The Three Jewels can help us change our mind towards our outer circumstance, so that everything becomes a cause of our enlightenment instead of a cause of suffering.

Unlike other practices, in Offering to the Spiritual Guide our refuge practice has two uncommon characteristics. First, we explicitly go for refuge to the Guru, recognizing him as the synthesis and source of all the other Three Jewels. Second, we recite the refuge prayer in Sanskrit to recall the original language Buddha taught in. This makes us feel more closely connected to the origin of these instructions.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Be careful explaining Dharma

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Explaining emptiness to those who are likely to misunderstand. 

We incur a root downfall if we teach emptiness in an unskillful way and cause those who are listening to develop serious and harmful misunderstandings.  Emptiness is very easily misunderstood, and it is not difficult to unintentionally explain a nihilistic view.  We normally remain on the extreme of existence, but it does not take much to swing to the other side and become overzealous in our explanations. 

As a general rule, we should make sure that our wisdom understanding emptiness does not outstrip our compassion.  This will protect us from falling into the extreme of non-existence, or falling into the extreme of solitary peace.  The only thing emptiness negates is the mode of existence of the world.  Beings still exist, the world still exists, suffering is still experienced.  We go places, things happen, etc.  But it is all taking place in a karmic dream and none of it is any more real than last night’s dream.  But just because it is a dream does not mean it doesn’t matter what happens in it.  For as long as beings grasp at the dream as being real, they suffer terribly within it.  Just as it is appropriate to come to the aid of somebody we think is real, so too if we are in a dream it is appropriate to come to the aid of somebody in the dream.  They suffer, we can help, so we do so. 

In fact, it is impossible to fully unwind the dream of samsara without a measure of compassion because if others are empty, then their minds and indeed their very lives are part of our dream.  An ocean cannot be tamed by calming a single wave.  The sign that our understanding of emptiness is incorrect is we feel there is no harm done by negativity and we think it doesn’t matter what happens to others because they are not real.  The sign that our understanding of emptiness is correct is we feel an overwhelming sense of personal responsibility for whatever happens to anybody because it is all taking place in our dream.  Just as we would expect a good God to care for and protect his creation, so too when we understand emptiness it is a given we must care for everything and everyone because it is all part of the fabric of our mind.  The duality between self and others completely dissolves where it becomes absurd to even think to free oneself without freeing all others.  In fact, for a mind that understands emptiness correctly, such a thought could not even arise.

Causing others to abandon the Mahayana. 

If we cause a Mahayana practitioner to give up their bodhichitta by telling them they will never become a Buddha, and advise them to enter the less demanding Hinayana path, we incur a downfall.

Gen Tharchin explains that the secret to developing unstoppable effort is to understand that all the goals of the spiritual path are indeed eminently doable.  At present we give lip service to the idea of attaining enlightenment, but deep in our heart we think it is an impossible goal far beyond our reach.  When we read the teachings on Tranquil Abiding, much less all the grounds and paths of a bodhisattva, we realize we have barely even begun our training, even if we have been applying full effort for many many years.  Not seeing how it is possible, we may think it would be nice to be a Buddha but besides the words which fall from our lips about it, there is no fire in our belly to really go for it. 

The deep truth of emptiness is if we cannot keep the flame of Dharma alive in our own mind, it will become extinguished from the world we perceive, and all we dream will be lost.  But if we can become like an immovable vajra and the flame of Dharma is never extinguished from our own mind, it is just a question of time before we are all free.  The bitter cruelty of samsara is also its greatest weakness – it is a self-imposed prison.  There is literally nothing which can stop us from walking straight out its door other than our failure to make the decision to do so.  Once we decide to leave and we have seen through its lies, nothing can stop us.  It still may take a very long time, but nothing can stop us. 

We may love our children, for example, very much and be willing to do anything for them.  But if we die without having secured our spiritual future, who will look after them?  Can we trust the task to anybody else?  But if we can place our mind on the firm grounding of the clear light, death for us will be no different than falling asleep at night knowing we will awake the next day to continue our work.  We do not recognize all the beings around us as our past mothers or our past children, but as we become firm in our wisdom we will see and recall our past time with them, we will understand the long arc of their history and we will know no matter what karmic disguises they or ourselves assume, it is still them and it is still us, and we are still with them gradually guiding them to freedom. 

Discouragement is the killer of more spiritual lives than anything else.  It is our discouragement which enables our attachments to overcome us.  If we do not believe our freedom is possible, we won’t fight for it with all our being, and we will settle for the most comfortable situation we can arrange in samsara.  But if a man’s child or wife were captured, he would not rest – ever – until they were freed.  This is our very situation, and we have the potential to free all them – literally in one go.  The only thing stopping us is nothing. 

Roadmap for Becoming a Child-Like Yogi at Play:

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

If I’m honest with myself, my practice is much more sincere and robust when I am in crisis mode because frankly I have no choice other than to practice with every fibre of my being just to get through it. In many ways, my life has been in one form of crisis or another since 2008, and arguably for decades before that. It has essentially been a non-stop roller coaster ever since 2008 with some pretty heavy stuff. There is no doubt that all this adversity has forced me to really dig deep and move beyond an intellectual understanding of Dharma to actually using it to bring my mind back to inner peace every time I get knocked on my butt. I cannot help but feel extremely grateful for all this difficulty because there is no doubt it has pushed me far along the path – indeed probably much farther than I would be if everything was all rainbows, unicorns, and harmony among people.

But at the same time, if I’m honest, I’m really tired of being in crisis mode. I know this is samsara and samsara is the nature of suffering – unrelenting like the waves of the ocean crashing down – and I have to accept that. I know there will be no peace until I wake up from the nightmare of mistaken karmic appearances. But when I read Chapter 8 of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, I cannot help but be moved by his descriptions of the supreme joy of a yogi’s life, like a child at play. I know Venerable Geshe-la taught that we need to attain the union of Kadampa Buddhism and Modern Life, but he also gave us these verses as something to aspire to.

Yes, I have grown tremendously through this adversity, but dammit, I’m tired of having to always learn and grow through adversity and tragedy. Yes, I can do it, but I would love to be able to just enjoy and improve, like a child at play or like the archetypical wise old man playfully taking delight in the butterfly that landed on his finger. When I think about me doing my future retreats, etc., this is really part of the vision I am hoping to get to. Effort can not be just be drugery, indeed, it has to be the nature of playful joy.

My challenge is I don’t know how to get there, in the short-run at least. I’m not choosing tragedy and adversity, it just keeps happening in my life. When it happens, like in the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer, I have no choice but to pray, “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” Or in Kadampa terms, “well, I guess I need to grow through this one too.”

I’m so tired of constant crisis, I just want it to end, but I find when I succumb to that sort of thinking, it quickly turns into an attachment to external peace, or it is a non-acceptance of the truth of samsara, or it is a lack of faith in Dorje Shugden that he is arranging exactly what I need. It’s like I’m trying to resist how things are, not accept them; it’s like I’m trying to say I know better than Dorje Shugden, almost trying to supplant him. So I need to let go and accept that this is the karma that is ripening and that it is all for the best (I always see at the end how it was, even though it sucked to go through).

I think in the long run, though, I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting to be like the contented, playful yogi. We just shouldn’t be attached to it. The question is how do we get to the point where we can just be going with the flow like a child at play? I need to do a few things from my side.

First, I need to purify the gobs of unpurified negative karma that remain on my mind. I have created the karma for everything I experience and I either need to purify it before it ripens or go through it, there is no third possibility. So if I want to stop lurching from crisis to crisis, I need to start getting serious about engaging in purification practices.

Second, I need to overcome the laziness that sets in when times are “good.” Many times I have made the request to Dorje Shugden to please arrange the outer and inner conditions necessary for my swiftest possible enlightenment. When times are shit, I’m forced to practice and make progress; but when times are good, I quickly become lazy or complacent or I stagnate. This reaction to good times creates deep incentives to keep the bad times coming because I only seem to grow with them. I need to get to the point where I grow MORE in the good times than the bad, then it won’t be as necessary for me to have to experience tragedy to fulfill the larger spiritual promise/wish of attaining enlightenment as swiftly as possible.

Third, I need to do what it takes to create the outer conditions necessary for me to not have to think much about having enough resources necessary to sustain my practice. This basically practically means I need to make enough money to be able to fund my retirement enough so I can dedicate my time to my practice. Venerable Geshe-la talks in How to Transform Your Life about the extreme of spirituality. We also need to tend to our external circumstances and there is nothing wrong with doing so. For me at least, if my spiritual life become my “job” that I need to do to sustain myself externally, it would likely taint the joy just like joining the golf team in High School killed the joy of the game because it became about winning. Or it is like the person who loves cooking for their friends and decides to become a chef only to find making it their job stole all the joy. So yes, I need to make the money necessary that I won’t have to worry about being able to have a good enough life where I can be that child at play. Through a combination of perhaps working a bit longer than I originally anticipated and learning to live with less, I think I can hopefully get there. Basically, for the next 8 years at least, I am going to try learn to live on next to nothing and to save almost everything I can to build up enough of an asset base that generates enough income to be able to be a child at play in my retirement.

Fourth, I think I’m done taking on new responsibilities for others in the sense of creating dependencies of others on me. I will always carry the great responsibility of caring in every way for the doctrine and migrators because this is my Kadampa bodhichitta responsibility. Externally, I need to fulfill all my remaining responsibilities to my family and to my country that I have assumed, but I don’t need to take on any new ones in samsara. I have basically been carrying much of the load of many people for many decades. This has exhausted me and created a degree of dependencies in them where they struggle to function on their own as strong, independent, self-sufficient, and healthy adults. It was perhaps necessary at the time, but I need to gradually get them to the point where they don’t need me anymore to function autonomously (in their own way). And I need to make a point of NOT entering into any more relationships with anybody that could once again become a dependency. I will, to the maximum extent possible, try to not enter into any new relationships that are not at a minimum reciprocal and hopefully are mutually enhancing. I need to fulfill my existing responsibilities in samsara, but I have zero intention or desire to take on any new ones.

Along the way, I am sure there will inevitably be more tragedy and adversity that arises. I will have no choice but to grow through them (since the alternative will be to let them destroy me). But this is my roadmap for getting to the yogi’s life. I may not even get there in this life, I don’t know, but it seems like a noble direction to head in.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Avoid holding wrong views and destroying places

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Holding wrong views. 

We incur a root downfall if we hold wrong views denying anything that we need to believe in order to achieve liberation.  Examples of this can include rejecting any of the stages of the path, such as the need to rely upon a Spiritual Guide, karma, the four noble truths, the disadvantages of self-cherishing, bodhichitta, emptiness, Tantra, etc. 

There is a difference between holding wrong views and having doubts or questions.  Doubts and questions are normal, and in fact are a good thing if we use them as fuel to deepen our understandings.  Holding wrong views also does not mean not yet believing or understanding a given instruction.  Holding wrong views means we come to a definite conclusion that something in the Dharma is wrong and we are right, without us having an open mind about the question.  If we have a valid reason why it is wrong, we don’t incur this fault.  But 99 times out of 100 (well actually 100 times out of a 100) if we have such a valid reason it will be refuting some wrong understanding of the Dharma, not a correct understanding.  All correct understandings of the Dharma seem eminently reasonable when properly understood, even if they are nonetheless quite radical notions. 

In general we can say our gaining of realizations occurs in a progression.  We start out with wrong views about pretty much everything.  The first step is conceding it is better to have an open mind and to admit that we don’t really know, but we intend to investigate the matter more carefully.  As we start to do this, our wrong views start transforming into doubts tending towards a wrong view.  We continue to investigate and ask questions, and eventually these doubts start tending towards the correct view.  We continue to probe and to test and eventually we might start getting the initial inklings of faith in a given object.  We think, “this idea in the Dharma is probably right and I am probably just understanding it wrong, so I better keep checking.”  Eventually this believing faith becomes stronger and we start to develop admiring faith thinking how much better our life would be if only we realized fully this particular idea.  This admiring faith then transforms into wishing faith, where we genuinely want to gain this particular understanding.  This wishing faith then transform into effort to actually gain the realization.  With effort comes experience, and with experience comes valid reasons which then are used to support what are called “valid cognizers” about some subject.  A valid cognizer moves beyond faith to personal wisdom on a subject, but even this is not strong enough.  We keep investigating, keep testing, keep contemplating until eventually these inferential cognizers transform into direct perceivers of the truth of the particular idea of the Dharma.  We see directly it is exactly true.  We continue to increase the power of our direct perceivers until eventually they transform into yogic direct perceivers, where we realize the truth of the given subject directly with our very subtle mind of great bliss mixed with emptiness.  These are called yogic direct perceivers.  Our goal is to eventually attain yogic direct perceivers of every single stage of the path.  Once we have done so, we will swiftly become a Buddha! 

Destroying places such as towns. 

We incur a root downfall if, with a bad motivation, we willfully destroy a place of habitation or an environment.  Unless we are a political leader, it is unlikely we could incur this downfall by physically destroying a town or somebody’s home.  But this is something that can easily happen, for example, with respect to insect colonies. 

It is also entirely likely we could incur this downfall, or at least a similitude of it, in many other ways.  For example, if we were to engage in sexual misconduct with somebody who is married, this could easily destroy that person’s home, which is even worse if kids are involved.  It does not take sexual misconduct to destroy somebody else’s home, depending on the circumstances it may only take a few words of divisive speech. Even if the communities are not completely destroyed, they can easily be sufficiently disrupted that they are never the same again.   

Likewise, in the modern world, places are not limited to the physical world, but can also include virtual environments, such as on-line communities.  Divisive or hurtful speech can easily destroy the harmony of a community, ruining it for all.  Witness virtually every social media platform ever created.

Sometimes it is also possible to destroy a community by not doing what is required to save it if it is within our power to do so.  The circumstances of living beings are vast, and it makes little karmic difference between actively destroying a community and not saving one when we otherwise could. It is, however, possible that actions such as these may become necessary depending upon the circumstances.  But we need tremendous wisdom to know whether it is appropriate to do so, and we must make sure that our mind is completely free from delusion and governed only by concern for others.  To take an easy example, if somebody is being abused by their partner and you encourage and aid them to escape from the abusive relationship, you may be destroying somebody’s home but it is an act of compassion not only for the victim but also for the abuser.   

Wherever You Imagine a Buddha, A Buddha Goes:

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra, 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Wherever we imagine a Buddha, a Buddha goes; and wherever they go, they accomplish their function, which is to bestow blessings and guide living beings along the paths to enlightenment as swiftly as their karma allows. This is equally true for ourself and for us imagining Buddhas in the lives of those we love.

To understand this, we need to first consider both the nature and function of enlightenment and enlightened beings. The definitive Buddha is the Dharmakaya, which is an “I” imputed upon a very subtle mind of great bliss realizing the emptiness of all phenomena. This is a person whose body and mind are one entity – a mind of great bliss that realizes directly the emptiness of all phenomena (4th profundity, not just 1st profundity from Heart of Wisdom). This means a Buddha is necessarily the ultimate nature of everything. The real nature of every appearance is the Dharmakaya, or a Buddha.

The function of a Buddha is to be with each and every living being every day, bestowing blessings and guiding them towards enlightenment as swiftly as their karma will allow. It is like the sun always shining behind the clouds. The whole reason why they attained enlightenment is to be able to be with each and every living being every day, bestowing blessings and guiding living beings along the path. This means wherever a Buddha goes, they are always accomplishing their function, which is to bestow blessings.

In all the sections on guru yoga, it explains that our most important recognition is to strongly believe we are actually in the living presence of the guru deity. This is not just some fake imagination, but it is correct imagination. Correct imagination is imagining something that is actually there (not inherently, since nothing exists inherently, but conventionally, functionally), even if we don’t (yet) directly perceive it with our sense awarenesses. The more we meditate on correct imaginations, the more we start to perceive directly what we are imagining because it is what is actually there.

If you saw a snake on the hiking path, and your friend said, “no, no, that is just a stick, look carefully,” you would then start to look more closely trying to see what is there. The more you look, while checking to see if indeed your friend is right, the more vividly the stick would start to appear directly to your sense awarenesses and the appearance of the mistaken appearance of the snake would disappear. It is exactly the same with correct imaginations. The Buddhas are actually there, everywhere in everything, and the more we look at things with this correct imagination, the more they start to appear directly to our sense awarenesses until we see, “oh yeah, there is a Buddha directly in front of me. In fact, they are everywhere!”

Geshe-la explains that while the sun is always shining, if we are inside and all our blinds are closed, the sunlight does not come in. For us to see its light and feel its warmth, we need to open our blinds. We need to do something from our own side to gain direct access to these blessings. So what do we need to do to open our blinds? We primarily need to do two things: purify our motivation for why we want to see the light and generate a mind of faith. A good heart and a mind of faith are the keys that unlock the blinds in our mind, enabling the light of our guru’s blessings to flow directly into our heart and mind. The sun of our guru’s blessings is always shining and providing a degree of warmth to our home (otherwise it would be as cold as the vacuum of space), but how much brighter and warmer will it become when we open our blinds?

So wherever we imagine a Buddha, a Buddha goes because they are already actually there. Technically, what is happening is when we imagine (with a good heart and a mind of faith), we make manifest within our own mind the Buddha that is actually there – we open the blinds of our mind and allow the light and warmth to pour in. The Buddhas from their side of course want to do this, this is the whole reason why they attained enlightenment in the first place.

Where it gets really interesting is when we consider the emptiness of all phenomena. Are the things in our life ordinary samsaric things or are they all emanations? The answer is they are neither from their own side, but they can become either depending upon how we mentally project/relate to them.

For example, I can make a request to Dorje Shugden, “please take care of and protect my family always, from now until they eventually attain enlightenment; and please bless me with the wisdom to see and understand directly how you are doing so.” I then – correctly – imagine that he is doing precisely that. In dependence upon my good heart and my mind of faith, when I look at what is happening in their life, I will gradually come to see directly how he is doing exactly that for them. If I ask Guru Heruka Father and Mother to please parent my children through everyone and everything they encounter, then Heruka Father and Mother will enter into everything (technically, they are already there in everything, but it is my good heart and mind of faith that make them manifest within my mind, gradually at first but then eventually through direct perception) and accomplish exactly this function.

So even though I am not able to be with my family all the time, I know people who can, namely Dorje Shugden, Heruka, Mother Tara, Medicine Buddha, and so forth. My good heart and mind of fatih, combined with my prayers and correct imagination, will make them manifest in their lives and in my perception of their lives, gradually at first but then eventually through direct perception.

The power of this is limitless. Eventually, through my own training in the stages of generation and completion stage, I will impute my own “I” onto the Dharmakaya and all the Buddhas doing all this for all living beings. At first, they are accomplishing their function through the power of my prayers and my karma with the people in my life, but later I will experience it as if it is “me” doing it – not the Ryan me, but the enlightened me. I will feel and experience it directly as I am with each and every living being every day, bestowing blessings and guiding them along the paths to enlightenment as swiftly as their karma will allow.

When I think like this, not only will all my worry and concern go away (well at least as much as I actually believe these instructions, I still have negative karma of holding onto wrong views and deluded doubt obstructing my belief), but also both my bodhichitta and appreciation for the Tantric path will explode in power. I find that spark within me that enables me to be like a child at play, confident in the knowledge that I will soon bring my samsara and the equally empty samsara of everyone I know and love to an end and nothing can stop me from doing so.

Amazing!