Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Accepting ourself, not our delusions

Do not follow delusions. 

 This means that we should not tolerate our delusions, such as anger, ignorance, and attachment.   We should realize that delusions are our real enemy, and as soon as one emerges to abandon it immediately, and not allow it to fester in our mind.

Geshe-la once explained, the only function of delusions is to deceive us.  This is worth considering deeply.  Something is deceptive if it promises one thing, but in fact delivers the opposite.  If we check carefully, all delusions do exactly this.  Attachment promises us happiness, but leaves us thirsting for more.  Anger promises us vindication, but just creates more conflict.  Ignorance of self-grasping promises us a path to “objective truth” but instead leaves us blind to subjective reality.  Jealousy promises us continued possession of our loved ones, but in the end it drives them away.  Doubt promises to protect us from believing something that is not true, but it actually prevents us from believing anything and thus making any progress along the path impossible.  Self-cherishing promises us the fulfillment of our wishes, but in the end frustrates them all. 

Delusions are, quite simply, the spam of our mind.  All spam has a common function:  to deceive us in some way.  We are promised millions from the Nigerian government official, but find our bank accounts drained after we hand over our banking details. Spam can only harm us if we believe the lies.  No, we didn’t really win some lottery.  If we recognize its deceptive nature, we just delete it from our inbox without giving it another thought.  It is exactly the same with our delusions.  They can only harm us if we believe their deceptive lies.  But if we see directly their deception, then they have no power over us and we ignore them.  The power of delusions in our mind is directly related to how much we believe them.  If we don’t believe them, they may still arise and be present within the inbox of our mind, but they will have no power over us at all. 

Many people “battle their delusions” for years, struggling against them with heroic effort.  Such an approach is not only wrong, it is counter-productive.  When we battle with our delusions, we are implicitly giving them power.  We grasp at them having some validity, but we struggle against these deluded tendencies by trying to believe other things are more important.  An ordained person still wants to have sex, but battles against this saying their ordination is more important.  When we practice in this way, what we really wind up often doing is just repressing our delusions.  When we do this, they grow in power until eventually they overwhelm us. 

We are told to “never accept our delusions.”  We take this to mean we should not tolerate the presence of delusions in our mind even for a second, and when they arise we quickly try to shove them back down beneath the surface.  This is a recipe for guaranteed spiritual disaster.  Kadam Morten says instead we should “accept the existence of delusions in our mind, but not their validity.”  Yes, we are still deluded beings.  Delusions still flare up in our mind, and that is entirely normal.  We need not beat ourselves up over this nor think we are somehow a bad person because of it.  Instead, what we do is when they arise is we “see through their lies.”  Our focus should be on “identifying the deception” of the given delusion.  What is the delusion promising?  How, if I followed the advice of the delusion, would it in fact give me the opposite of what is promised?  If we see this clearly, then we see the delusion for what it is:  a deceptive lie.  When we see the lie, it will be like in the Wizard of Oz after the curtain had been pulled back by Toto – the delusion may still huff and puff, but all its power will have vanished.  We will see through the lies and the delusion will have no power over us.  This enables us to “accept ourself, but be vicious with our delusions.” 

To not follow our delusions does not mean to repress them when they arise, rather it means to see through their lies.  If we do this, we keep this vow.  If we allow ourselves to be deceived, then we do not.

What do you think?