Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Making our refuge irreversible

To perform every action with complete trust in the Three Jewels. 

We should rely upon the Three Jewels in everything we do.  In this way all our actions will be successful.  We should always try to receive the blessings of the Three Jewels by making offerings and requests.  In previous posts, I have discussed extensively how we rely upon the guru’s mind alone for all that we do.  I encourage you to read the different special series I have done which explain this.  But the short version is this:  if you have a choice of a hammer or a nail gun, which will you choose?  If you have a choice of a soap box derby car or a Ferrari, which would you choose?  In the same way, if you have a choice of having your ordinary body, speech and mind being the source of all your actions or the enlightened body, speech and mind of your Spiritual Guide being the source of all your actions, which would you choose?  Most of us simply don’t realize we can become an instrument of the holy beings in this world, and many of those that do know this don’t know how to become one.  But once we know it is possible and we know how to do it, our life takes on a whole new purpose.  We come to have one goal alone:  to rely upon the three jewels for all that we do.

Omniscient beings know how to do our jobs better than we do, they know how to parent better than we do, they know how to get along with others better than we do, they know what paths to follow and which ones to abandon better than we do, they speak kinder, think wiser and act better than we do.  They even brush our teeth better than we do!  Frankly, there is nothing positive we do better than they do.  So why do we foolishly do things ourselves when we can learn to let them do everything through us. 

Never to forsake the Three Jewels, even at the cost of our life, or as a joke. 

We should never abandon the three Jewels under any circumstances.  What does it mean to abandon the three jewels?  It does not mean to forget about them.  This happens all the time.  Rather, it means to come to the conclusion that they are wrong.  This can take any number of forms, such as us concluding they are wrong about the nature of our problem, or they are wrong about delusions being deceptive, or they are wrong about non-virtuous actions are to be avoided, or they are wrong about the need to escape from samsara, or they are wrong about why it is better to cherish and love others, or they are wrong about the ultimate meaning of human life, or they are wrong about the ultimate nature of reality.  If we come to any of these conclusions, then this would be forsaking the three jewels. 

The reality is there are very few people who maintain a constancy in their Dharma practice throughout their life.  There are many people who come into the Dharma, have a great few years, and then move on to the next thing.  It is not bad that this happens.  It is good that they have a few years with the Dharma and leave happy.  The Dharma remains with them, influencing their behavior and thoughts in a myriad of ways, and then in their next life they stay a bit longer.  One of the biggest mistakes Dharma teachers and Dharma centers make is they become attached to people coming to all the classes and staying at the center.  Attachment creates the causes to be separated from the objects of our attachment.  Our attachment to people coming (badk) actually creates the karmic causes to destroy the spiritual life of the other person.  People are not stupid.  They know when they are being emotionally manipulated with the Dharma to get them to do things they otherwise wouldn’t do.  In the short-run, this may work; but over time they start to no longer believe us that we are just trying to help them (they think we are trying to use them for our own purposes), they lose faith and they move on. 

Any amount of Dharma is a good thing.  So let people partake of what they wish and move on when they wish.  The most important thing is to help them be happy with whatever they do do, and not feel judged for all the things they don’t do.  Even if people move on in their lives and stop coming, if we can succeed in them leaving with a happy, no regrets mind then the Dharma will remain with them their whole life.  If instead, we unskillfully say they are killing their spiritual life and blah blah blah, making them feel guilty or bad, then all that they gained from their time with us will be lost as they reject everything.  We shouldn’t project an all or nothing attitude, rather we should project a “take freely what you wish and enjoy” attitude. 

Some people will stay for a few classes, some will stay for a few years and some will stay their whole life.  Some will only go to festivals, some will just read the books, some will just come for the tea and cookies.  Some will be serious about their meditation practice, some will just be looking for some friends.  It’s all good and we should welcome all it.  If we don’t, then we are forsaking the Dharma.

2 thoughts on “Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Making our refuge irreversible

  1. Thank you so much as always for your balanced views. You always have a compassionate insight and don’t make me feel inadequate if I’m struggling on the spiritual path, but actually more inspired to keep trying . A lot of your articles should be for reading in every Kadampa centre. Many thanks 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

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