I just had a dream with Geshe-la that began where I heard Geshe-la is teaching this Spring Festival. We were late in arriving at the temple and things had already begun. They let us in the back and I had to quietly make my way to an open seat in the back. I passed by somebody who I didn’t know and they looked at me and said, “you look good, what are you on?” I said, “nothing,” but felt like I was lying about it despite actually not being on anything. I then found my seat, it was like an old couch cushion thrown on the floor and then I fell asleep.

When I arose, everybody was arising to do the prostrations after the teacher sits on the throne and then, even though I knew he had passed, I saw directly Geshe-la up there on the throne. He looked old, but was very much right there. When I arose, my wife was right next to me. We haven’t been at a festival together in a very, very long time and I was surprised that she was next to me. I was surprised at how few people were at the Festival and thought about how I missed the last Festival Geshe-la taught at.

We then sat down, and the music for Liberating Prayer started. We then all sang “O Blessed One, Shakyamuni Buddha…” and then Geshe-la interjected and said, “Ohh, happy.” The music then somehow continued and was a long pause without words, just different melodies, and at first I thought something was wrong with the recording, then that perhaps they changed and simplified the Liberating Prayer since Geshe-la was teaching the festival. Then during this time, I started feeling powerful waves of blessings and understood why the pause. Geshe-la was sending out healing blessings to everyone. As they started to fill me, I couldn’t help myself, I just started crying and all my pain that I have been carrying around started coming out. It was painfully deep, wounded crying, but was simultaneously good to be getting it out. I worried about my wife seeing me cry, about how she would take it because I feared she rejected the Dharma and my practice of it. But I then thought I should let go of such worries and allow myself to have whatever reaction I had. I was reminded of how I cried so much when I first saw the Buddha Shakyamuni play at the festival. I cried almost the whole way through. I then thought, faith in Buddha Shakyamuni has this healing, expelling of deep wounds and sorrow effect. Then I woke up.

Normally, when I do blog posts of my dreams I then write what it meant to me. But here, I don’t think that is necessary.