On Embracing Our Place in the Mandala:

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Sometimes people may criticize or judge our practice thinking we are prioritizing a small number of living beings around us (our family, friends, work colleagues, etc.) and supposedly neglecting all living beings. That may be, but for me, I view the people in my life as proxies for all living beings like them. So by cherishing them, I mentally imagine I am cherishing all beings who are like them.

Long ago, there was this one practitioner on NKT-chat who once said, “all I need is my Spiritual Guide and my son. Through my Spiritual Guide, I receive the blessings of all the Buddhas. By cherishing my son, I can imagine I am cherishing all living beings.” I think this is exactly perfect.

I would just add that we can also view oursleves as a proxy for all those who have karma similar to our own. My blog is called “Kadampa Working Dad.” I can view myself and my life as a proxy for all Kadampas, all those who work, and all parents – in other words, all living beings. If with a bodhichitta motivation I learn how to transform my karmically appearing life into the path and gain the realizations I need to navigate through a life like mine without delusion, I am forging myself into the specific Buddha I will need to become to assume my place in the mandala.

Gen Tharchin said the specific bodichitta we develop as a bodhisattva shapes the specific type of Buddha we will become. We have Buddhas of compassion, wisdom, spiritual power, protection, and those that bless specific channels, drops, and winds. Why not a Buddha who can specifically help people with a normal modern life like mine? Why not a Buddha who can specifically help people transform tragedies and challenges similar to what I have faced into the path? The same is true for all of us.

Venerable Geshe-la wants us to make the Kadam Dharma available to everyone. Everyone is welcome. Everyone needs the Kadam Dharma. There is so much unnecessary grasping within this tradition that thinks dedicating one’s life to the practice of Dharma looks a certain way – becoming ordained, becoming a Resident Teacher or a center administrator, or living in a center, etc. Hogwash! So much mental suffering comes from grasping at such notions, causing us to think some people or life situations are obstacles to our path. It’s a form of divisive speech, really. VGL dedicated his life to breaking the Dharma free from the confines of monastic communities in Tibet. He didn’t do that to replace it with a modern version of the same ignorance within Kadampa Meditation Centers.

But if other people want to judge or misunderstand our practice, that’s their choice – and their problem. We can understand what we are doing. VGL understands what we are doing. Dorje Shugden understands what we are doing, indeed he is orchestrating the whole thing. So accept the judgment, but don’t let it bother you. Be confident in your path. You are exactly where you need to be, experiencing exactly the challenges you need to face. We are fulfilling VGL’s vision. We are assuming our place in the mandala.

Everything is perfect.

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Seizing our Precious Opportunity to Study Emptiness

Kadampa Ryan 2. Modern Bodhisattva's Way of Life

(9.161) Furthermore, demonic forces are constantly striving
To cast us into the vast wasteland of the lower realms.
There are many mistaken paths to mislead us,
And we find it difficult to resolve stultifying doubts.

(9.162) It will be very hard to find the freedom and endowment of a human rebirth again.
Buddhas rarely appear in this world, and it is difficult to find a qualified Mahayana Spiritual Guide.
Without these, there is no way to stop the flood of delusions –
Alas, the suffering of living beings will continue without interruption!

Each one of us here has a precious opportunity, I would say quite a unique opportunity, a chance not just of a lifetime, it seems the chance of lifetimes.  We will encounter difficulties, of course.  But we can overcome them with effort, such is our present situation, we can overcome them with effort.  We must remember that we make things difficult, don’t we?  We make things difficult, and we actually give power to our maras.  From their own side, there are no difficulties, from their own side there are no maras.  They have no power.

But I would say that we are relatively free from obstacles right now.  Those that we do encounter, we can use for our spiritual training.  We can regard them as necessary in order to bring about our spiritual growth.  And to say that we have relatively good conditions I think would be a gross understatement.  Venerable Geshe-la himself knows how good our conditions are, which is why he has said we should not just to enjoy them, we need to build from here.  But also we must use this opportunity we have to free others too.  Out of compassion, we must strive to take the self of others out of their samsara and place it in the firm ground of liberation, as Shantideva finally encourages us to do.

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: When are we Going to Stop Running?

Kadampa Ryan 2. Modern Bodhisattva's Way of Life

(9.158cd)Even in fortunate rebirths, we shall have little ability to practise virtue,
And our lives of freedom and endowment will quickly pass.

(9.159) We are constantly striving to avoid sickness and death,
Fend off hunger, find some rest, or just get to sleep.
We receive harm from inner and outer obstacles,
And waste our lives in meaningless company.

(9.160) Thus, our life passes swiftly without any meaning,
And we find it very hard to realize emptiness.
In such a state, where is there a method to reverse
The deluded wanderings of the mind, with which we are so familiar?

This is how our existence could be for a long time in the future if we do not follow the path of wisdom.  It is a very sad, pathetic actually, meaningless existence.  By not training in this wisdom, rather than experiencing freedom, we bind ourselves to a world of suffering, we bind ourselves to a life that is at best just hard work.  We left behind worldly life because we saw what it was like, didn’t we?   But we have not left behind worldly life completely, have we?   If we are not looking towards the door of emptiness, let alone moving towards that door, then it’s a sign that we believe there’s something worth staying in for.   But what is there worth staying for?  What?  If we check it is a bunch of little things that when we look at the price of keeping these little things, we realize it is ridiculous.  Yet, we still choose it!  Our strategy is to try to ‘get away with as much samsara as we can’.  But actually, we should do the opposite, have as little as we can.  This shows how confused we are.

But the question is when are we going to stop?  What did Buddha say to Angulimala in the play?  When are we going to stop?  When we die, probably. But even then, it starts all over again, doesn’t it?

Atisha says, “friends, there is no happiness in this swamp of samsara, so move to the firm ground … of liberation.”   We must take our self, this self out of samsara, and place it firmly in nirvana.  We need to do this while we still have the opportunity, as Shantideva explains.

Happy Protector Day: Protector of the Bodhisattva’s Path

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden, Protector Days, Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

The 29th of every month is Protector Day.  This is part 6 of a 12-part series aimed at helping us remember our Dharma Protector Dorje Shugden and increase our faith in him on these special days.

And on his head he wears a round and yellow hat.

This symbolizes his ability to help us gain the correct view of emptiness, the ultimate nature of reality.  We can understand how all things are like a dream, and how if we change our actions, we can change our karma and that will change the dream that appears to our mind.  In this way, we can become the architect of our own destiny, and cause this world of suffering to cease and the pure world of the Buddhas to arise.  If ever we have difficulty understanding emptiness, we can recall his hat and request that he bless our mind to be able to gain a correct understanding of emptiness.  We then imagine we receive his blessings and return to our Dharma book (or the teaching we are receiving) and try again.  If we still do not understand, we once again request blessings and repeat the cycle.  We can continue like this for as long as it takes.  Eventually, through the power of his blessings, we will understand. 

His hands hold a sword and a heart of compassion.

This symbolizes his ability to help us engage in Lamrim meditation, in particular the union of the vast and profound path.  The vast path is all of the Lamrim meditations for developing a good heart, leading up to bodhichitta, the wish to lead all beings to enlightenment.  The profound path refers to the wisdom realizing emptiness, that everything is like a dream.  Just as we did with trying to understand emptiness, when we are having difficulty with our Lamrim practice, we can recall this function of Dorje Shugden, request his blessings, receive his blessings and then try again.  Practicing in this way dramatically increases the power of our Lamrim meditation. 

To his followers he shows an expression of delight, but to demons and obstructors he displays a wrathful manner.

This symbolizes Dorje Shugden’s ability to love and care for us while destroying our delusions.  We need to make a distinction between ourselves and our delusions.  Just as a cancer patient is not his cancer, we are not the cancer of our delusions.  Many people fear Dorje Shugden because they know he can be quite wrathful, but this fear only arises because they identify with their delusions.  So when their delusions are challenged, they feel like they are challenged.  Whenever we have a delusion arise strongly in our mind, we can immediately remember Dorje Shugden and request his blessings to be able to happily accept our difficult circumstances understanding that what is bad for our delusions is good for us. 

He is surrounded by a vast, assembled retinue,

Such as Kache Marpo and so forth.

Dorje Shugden is like the general of a vast army of Dharma protectors, each of whom accomplishes a different function.  These can be understood from the explanation of the nature and function of Dorje Shugden in the book Heart Jewel and the Praise to the five lineages of Dorje Shugden explained in the extensive Dorje Shugden sadhana Melodious Drum Victorious in All Directions.  It is customary for large Dharma Centers around the world to practice Melodious Drum on every Protector Day, or at least once a year.  We can do so on our own at any time, including every Protector Day.

The five lineages of Dorje Shugden refer to the five principal deities of his mandala.  Each one corresponds with one of the five Buddha families, the five completely purified aggregates of a Buddha, and the five omniscient wisdoms.  Each of the principal deities is like a specific protector for each one of the five Buddha families, and through relying upon them we will be led to attain the five purified aggregates and the corresponding five omniscient wisdoms.

The principal deity is Dorje Shugden himself, who is the protector of the Akshobhya family, will guide us to completely purify our aggregate of consciousness and attain the wisdom of the Dharmadhatu.  The wisdom of the Dharmadhatu is an aggregate of consciousness completely purified of all our past contaminated karmic potentialities (also known as the two obstructions) and that knows directly and simultaneously all phenomena as manifestations of bliss and emptiness.  Vairochana Shugden is the protector of the Vairochana family.  Through relying upon him, we will completely purify our aggregate of form and gain mirror-like wisdom, which sees directly all phenomena as manifestation of bliss and emptiness.  Pema Shugden is the protector of the Amitabha family.  Through relying upon her, we will purify completely our aggregate of discrimination and attain the wisdom of individual realization, which is able to discriminate all objects individually as manifestations of bliss and emptiness.  Ratna Shugden is the protector of the Ratnasambhava family.  Through relying upon Ratna Shugden, we will purify completely our aggregate of feeling and attain the wisdom of equality, which experiences all phenomena equally as bliss and emptiness.  Karma Shugden is the protector of the Amoghasiddhi family.  Through relying upon Karma Shugden, we will purify completely our aggregate of compositional factors and attain the wisdom of accomplishing activities, which enables us to use a Buddha’s completely purified and developed mental factors as if they were are own.  For a more in depth understanding of the five aggregates, see How to Understand the Mind.

Dorje Shugden is also surrounded by the nine Great Mothers, the eight fully ordained monks, and the ten wrathful deities.  The nine mothers arrange the secret conditions necessary for our Dharma practice.  They are comprised of Lochanna, Mamaki, Benzharahi, and Tara which arrange the earth, water, fire, and air elements respectively for our practice; and the five offering goddesses who transform all of the various forms, sounds, smells, tastes, and tactile objects into conditions for our practice.  The eight fully ordained monks arrange the inner conditions necessary for our practice.  They are the eight main bodhisattvas, including Vajrapani, Avalokiteshvara, Manjushri, and Maitreya.  They manifest whatever is needed to tame disciples and protect those with commitments like their only child.  The ten wrathful deities arrange all of the outer conditions for our Dharma practice.  They subjugate the malevolent and guard all directions with various guises.  Kache Marpo is like the commander of the Dharma protector special forces who directs all the oath-bound attendents (spirit kings, wealth gods, nagas, celestial spirits, and so forth) who perform a host of actions to help arrange the mundane conditions for our Dharma practice. 

Light rays from my heart

Instantly invite the wisdom beings
From the sphere of nature
And from all the different palaces where they abide.
They become inseparable from the commitment beings.

We visualize a vast array of mundane and supermundane Dharma protectors filling the whole of space, all working tirelessly under the direction of Dorje Shugden to arrange all the outer, inner, and secret conditions for our Dharma practice.  As Heruka, we then imagine that light rays radiate from our heart and invite the wisdom beings – the actual deities of Dorje Shugden’s mandala – to enter into the commitment beings (those we have visualized). We then strongly believe that all of these protector deities are actually in the space in front of us and filling the universe accomplishing their special function.

Happy Tsog Day: Transforming Adverse Conditions into the Path (part 1)

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 32 of a 44-part series.

The third to the seventh points of training the mind

Though the world and its beings, filled with the effects of evil,
Pour down unwanted suffering like rain,
This is a chance to exhaust the effects of negative actions;
Seeing this, I seek your blessings to transform adverse conditions into the path.

Sometimes people do not like the teachings on the sufferings of samsara because they think it is a very pessimistic way of thinking. And we believe that being an optimist is how to be happy. The solution to this dilemma is to be pessimist with respect to expecting samsara to ever deliver happiness, but an optimist with respect to our pure potential to become an enlightened being. Usually we do the opposite. We expect samsara to work and are then frustrated and disappointed when it does not.  We likewise do not believe that we are capable of accomplishing any of the spiritual grounds and paths and therefore, we do not commit ourselves to training in them. We need to reverse this. The truth is samsara is the nature of suffering. Just as it is the nature of fire to burn, so too it is the nature of samsara to always go wrong. It is exceedingly rare that things go right, and when they do it does not last very long and never works out in the way we had hoped.

Why is this not a pessimistic way of thinking? It all comes down to managing our own expectations. We all know the logic of managing others’ expectations. If someone asks us how long it will take to complete a report, we think to ourselves it will probably take one week, but we tell the other person it will take two weeks. Why do we do this? Because if we told them it will take one week, and it takes one week, they will just simply accept it. But if we tell them it will take two weeks, and then we deliver it in one week, they will think we did an outstanding job. In both cases, the job itself was still done in only one week, the difference is what people’s expectations were determined how they experienced what happens. In exactly the same way, if we always expect things to go wrong, and it does, then we just accept it. But if it winds up being better than we expected, then we are pleasantly surprised. Either way, we are happy. Gen-la Losang said we should expect nothing from samsara – absolutely zero. If we do, then we will never be disappointed and will sometimes be pleasantly surprised. Thus, if we wish to be optimistic in terms of effect, in other words being happy with what happens in life, then we need to be pessimistic with respect to what we expect will happen.

There are two types of experience in samsara – pleasant experiences and unpleasant experiences. We can transform pleasant experiences into the path through the tantric teachings, as explained before during the tsog offering. And we can transform unpleasant experiences into the path through the Lojong teachings. In this way, no matter what we experience, it serves as fuel for our spiritual development, and therefore is not a problem.

What are some ways that we can transform adverse conditions into the path? Geshe-la explains in Universal Compassion that we can do so by means of method and by means of wisdom. By means of method means we use the adverse circumstance to increase our renunciation or bodhicitta. When something bad happens to us, we can view it as a reminder that if we wish to escape from suffering permanently, we must escape from samsara. When something bad happens to others, we can view it as a reminder that we must become a Buddha so that we can free all other living beings from samsara. Further, patiently accepting when bad things happen functions to purify the negative karma that is ripening. In this way we can gradually exhaust the effects of our negative actions. If we also refrain from engaging in new negative actions, it is just a question of time for our karma changes. To transform adverse conditions by means of wisdom means to recall that our self, the suffering, and whatever gave rise to suffering, are all equally empty of inherent existence. They are all mere karmic appearances to mind. Instead of grasping at some things as being good and other things as being bad, we can experience all things equally as the dance of bliss and emptiness.

On Creating Sangha:

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra, 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Sometimes people can feel like they are isolated from sangha. For example, they may live far from a center or be physically incapable of making it very often – or even at all. Sometimes also, people might be able to go to the center all the time, but feel like they are not accepted or don’t fit in, even if everyone there loves and accepts them fully. This can be very painful for people, leading to a good deal of discouragement and despondency.

Many people leave the Dharma for this reason because we have a legitimate need for spiritual companionship and feel it is not being met, so we go looking elsewhere – searching, but perhaps never finding, leading to ever greater depths of despair. Even spiritual people don’t love us, we are truly worthless.

Knowing there are many people like this, we should make a concerted effort to reach out to those who seem to feel alone or isolated. Everybody welcome is not just a center policy, it is the very essence of the Kadampa way of life. We need to help make everybody feel welcome, accepted as they are without judgment, appreciated for their good qualities, and loved unconditionally.

But what should we do if we ourselves feel this way?

I would say this feeling comes from grasping at sangha existing from their own side in one form or another. We think Sangha are external to us somehow and we wait for them to “do something to us” or “for us.”

This can sometimes come across as harsh, like we are blaming people for their own loneliness or isolation. It can even take on a degree of judgment and callousness like it is your own dumb fault you feel that way, thus feeding the feeling like nobody cares. But this is not correct. Recognizing that our feelings of isolation are created by our own mind means by changing our mind, we can solve our problem. We don’t need others to do anything for us to no longer feel isolated from them. We cease being a victim of what they think and do towards us. We realize the solution lies within.

Whether somebody is a friend, enemy, or stranger depends upon the mind with which we engage with others. We can construct people in any number of ways by adopting different minds towards them. How we relate to others often quickly becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, for good or for bad. When we assume somebody is our friend and we relate to them in that way, we tend to be friendly and open and then others respond to us in similar ways. When we assume everybody hates us an is judging us, we relate to them defensively and awkwardly, and they then find us strange or off-putting or somebody to be avoided. We don’t realize that how we view others, the mind with which we engage with them, very much shapes how they view and relate to us.

Sangha are those that inspire us along the path. They encourage us to practice Dharma. We may think, I don’t have anybody in my life like that. Everyone in my life is encouraging me to follow worldly paths and the so-called sangha in my life reject me or don’t make me feel welcome. So what should we do if we find ourselves in such a situation?

Practically, there are some clear things we can do. First, we can make an effort to go to our centers or festivals; or if that is not possible, to try at least stay connected with them on-line. Second, we can accept people as they are, not be disappointed in them that they are not loving and accepting us as much as we would want them to. Third, we can create the karma to have sangha friends by being a good sangha friend ourselves towards others.

More profoundly, we can realize sangha do not exist from their own side. Whether somebody functions for us as sangha depends upon how our mind relates to them. For example, if we see somebody being cruel or deceptive or lazy or whatever, we can view that person as showing us the example of how not to be. Their bad example is teaching us to not be like that and to instead be kind, trustworthy, and hard-working. Because we are relating to them that way, they are encouraging us to practice Dharma, even if that is not remotely their intention. Thus, for us, they are functioning as sangha. Perhaps they are even emanations appearing in this way to teach us these lessons, we don’t know. Actually, as soon as we view them as emanations, they become emanations for us because emanations do not exist from their own side. Nobody is an emanation from their own side, they become one for us through our mind of faith.

More profoundly still, we can cultivate a deep, personal, and very “real” relationship with our supreme sangha, the deities of Dorje Shugden’s vast assembled retinue and the deities of Heruka or Vajrayogini’s body mandala. Even if we never step foot in a Dharma center again, we can be with our supreme sangha every day for the rest of eternity. They are actual beings with minds, not just figments of our imagination who aren’t really there. The only difference between our external sangha friends and our internal sangha friends is whether they are form sources (objects that appear to our sense consciousnesses) or phenomena sources (objects that appear to our mental consciousness). But both are equally beings with whom we can – and should – develop deep, living relationships with.

Like anything else, sangha are created by mind. If we don’t create others as sangha, we will have no sangha in our life. Realizing this, we can let go of thinking we have no sangha in our life or let go of our real or perceived narratives of our sangha not accepting and loving us and start creating our own sangha – both externally and internally – by creating the causes for them to appear in our life. We can use the perceived absence of sangha in our life as a sign from Dorje Shugden encouraging us that now is the time to create such causes.

Then, no problems.

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Slaying the Night King with our Dagger of Wisdom

Kadampa Ryan 2. Modern Bodhisattva's Way of Life

(9.156) From time to time, they take a fortunate rebirth
And briefly enjoy some temporary happiness,
But soon they die and fall into the lower realms,
Where they experience unbearable suffering for a very long time.

(9.157) In samsara, there are many pitfalls that lead to suffering.
Instead of finding the path of emptiness that leads to freedom,
We are bound by its opposite, grasping at true existence.
But if, while in samsara, we do not find the path of emptiness,

(9.158ab) We shall continue to experience an unending ocean of suffering
That is so unbearable it is beyond analogy.

Because we do not have deep conviction in the existence of past and future lives, the teachings on the sufferings of the other realms seems abstract or intellectual or philosophical. But let us try set those doubts aside for now and engage in a thought experiment that past and future lives do actually exist and we are bound for them.

What awaits us in samsara? The truth is the vast majority of beings within samsara are in the lower realms. Put another way, the vast majority of our previous and future lives will also be in the lower realms. The reason for this is quite simple: when we take lower rebirth, we engage almost exclusively in negative actions which causes us to remain in the lower realms. Because there is virtually no Dharma to be found, it is very difficult for us to die with virtuous or pure minds and escape from the lower realms.

The sufferings of the animal realms are manifest in obvious. It is worthwhile spending some time watching nature shows about life in the wild to see what life is like for wild animals. It is definitely worth our time to watch the videos about how animals in industrial farming are treated see what their lives are really like.

To get a feel for the hungry ghost realms, we can consider the plight of those who are starving in various parts of the world. It’s not enough to just simply look at the pictures of the emaciated children, but we should spend time researching to try understand what their lives are like and ask ourselves what would we do if we were born in such a situation.

To get some feeling for the hell realms, we can watch authentic documentaries about war. Not the Hollywood glamorized versions of war, but the actual experience of soldiers and the horrors they go through. We can see how just a short period of time in a war zone can permanently scar someone’s mind and leave them crippled with PTSD for the rest of their life. One of the books that marked me the most was a book about how rape is used as an instrument of war. Imagine the terror of women who are captured by enemy soldiers and raped just to be cruel.

If we want to get a feel for what it is like to be born in the cold hells, we should spend the night like a homeless person in a cold city in the middle of winter.  If that is too much, then try to simply sleep a few nights without the heat on in the middle of winter without any blankets. We do not do these things sort of guilt or self-flagellation, but rather to help us move the teachings on the lower realms from something abstract and removed from us to getting a taste for what it is like. The goal is to generate a deep fear of taking rebirth there and a profound compassion for all those who have.

In truth, all of samsara is one giant reviving hell. In the reviving hells, we are killed by enemies and then revived just to be killed again.  Or worse, we are killed in battle and then revived only to begin killing again and continue the fight. One of the most powerful scenes from Game of Thrones is when there was a major battle had a village by the sea and thousands of the Night King’s soldiers were killed. As Jon Snow escaped with a few remaining wildlings, he looked back and the Night King merely raised his hands and all of those killed in the battle rose again as soldiers in his army only to fight another day. It did not matter whether the soldiers first fought on one side or the other, they all equally arose as soldiers in the army of the dead. Such an army is an unstoppable force that promised to devour all life in Westeros.

The night King, however, was able to be killed with Valyrian steel. Arya Stark wielded her Valyrian steel dagger and killed the Night King, causing all of the soldiers in the army of the dead to fall.  The wisdom realizing emptiness is the Valyrian steel that can destroy all delusions. The Night King of our samsara is our self-grasping ignorance. And if we kill this one demon with the wisdom realizing emptiness, we can cause all of samsara to cease.

Father’s Day for a Kadampa

Kadampa Ryan 7. Kadampa meaning of special days

As Kadampas, we often talk about the kindness of our mothers; but I think on Father’s Day it is equally important that we reflect on fathers.  Just as all living beings have been our mother, so too all living beings have been our father.  It is equally valid to view all living beings as our kind fathers.  Fathers, especially modern ones, often help us in many of the same ways as described in the meditations on the kindness of our mothers.  They could have insisted our mother had an abortion, but instead they chose to keep us.  They provided us with a roof over our head, food on our plate and clothes on our body.  They changed our diapers, taught us to walk, run and so forth.  As we grow older, fathers give us our sense of values, teach us about a solid work ethic, encourage us to push ourselves and reach for the stars.  By expecting so much of us, we rise to the occasion.  We each have different relationships with our fathers, so we should take the time to reflect on all of the different ways our father has helped us and generate a genuine feeling of gratitude.

Most of the time we take what our parents, especially our father, does for granted.  In fact, usually we feel no matter how much our father does for us, it is never enough.  We always expect more and then become upset that they didn’t provide it.  We feel it is our parent’s job to do everything for us, and when they don’t we become angry with them.  Actually, our parent’s job is to teach us how to do things for ourselves – and that necessarily means many instances of “helping us most by not helping us.”  Not helping us is sometimes the best way our parents can help us because it forces us to develop our own abilities and experience with life.  So instead of being angry at our fathers for what they didn’t do for us, we should be grateful for what they did do.  We should especially be grateful for what they didn’t do, because this is what helped us become independent, functioning adults.  We should look deep into our mind, identify the delusions and resentments we have towards our father, and make a concerted effort to remove them.  There is no greater Father’s Day gift we can provide than healing our mind of all delusions towards him.

There is no denying it, our fathers appear to have a great number of delusions.  Whether they actually have these delusions or are just Buddhas putting on a good show for us, there is no way to tell.  But the point is the same:  they conventionally appear to have delusions, and they tend to pass those delusions on to us.  Part of our job as a child is to identify the delusions of our father, then find those same delusions within ourselves, and then root them out fully and completely.  That way we don’t pass on these delusions down to future generations.  We should also encourage our own kids to identify our delusions and to remove them from their own mind.  We have trouble seeing our own delusions, but fortunately our kids can see them quite clearly!  In Confucian societies, they place a lot of emphasis on their relationship with their ancestors.  We need to recall the good qualities and values of our ancestors and pass those along; but we also need to identify their delusions and put an end to their lineage.  Doing this is actually an act of kindness towards our father because we limit the negative karma they accumulate (remember, the power of karma increases over time, largely due to these karmic aftershocks) by preventing the ripple effects of their negativity from going any further.

But I believe for a Kadampa, Father’s Day is about so much more than just remembering the kindness of our physical father.  I believe it is even more important to recall the kindness of our spiritual father, our Spiritual Guide.  My regular father gave birth to me as a person, but it is my spiritual father who gave birth to the person I want to become.  All the meaning I have in my life comes through the kindness of my spiritual father.  He has provided me with perfectly reliable teachings, empowerments into Highest Yoga Tantra practices, constant blessings, a worldwide spiritual family, and Dharma centers where I can learn and accumulate vast merit.  He believes in me and helps me believe in my own spiritual potential.  He has given me the wisdom to navigate through some of the hardest moments of my life, and he has promised to be with me, helping me, until the end of time.  There is no one kinder than my spiritual father.  I owe him everything.  Like my regular father, I have taken his kindness for granted.  I fail to appreciate what he has provided, and I was negligent when it came to praying for his long life – something I deeply regret, but not in a heavy guilt way.

My spiritual father also emanates himself in the form of Guru Sumati Buddha Heruka. He appears as Lama Tsongkhapa, who reveals the paths of Lamrim, Lojong and Vajrayana Mahamudra.  Lama Tsongkhapa resides at my heart and guides me through every day.  If only I can learn to surrender myself completely to him, he promises to work through me to ripen and liberate all those I love.  My spiritual father also emanates himself in the form of my Dharma protector, Dorje Shugden.  Dorje Shugden is my best friend.  Ever since the first day I started relying upon him, the conditions for my practice – both outer and inner – have gotten better and better.  This does not mean he has made my life comfortable, far from it!  He has pushed me to my limits, and sometimes beyond, but always in such a way that I am spiritually better off for having gone through the challenge.  Dorje Shugden’s wisdom blessings help me overcome my attachment, my anger and my ignorance.  I quite literally resolve 95% of my delusions simply by requesting Dorje Shugden arrange whatever is best for my spiritual development, and then trusting that he is doing so.  Geshe-la is my father.  Je Tsongkhapa is my father.  Dorje Shugden is my father.  My spiritual father also provides for me my Yidam.  A Yidam is the deity we try become ourselves, in my case Guru Father Heruka.  He provides me the ideal I strive to become like.

Father’s Day for me is also more than remembering the kindness of my spiritual father, but it is also appreciating the opportunity I have to be a father myself.  I have always been way too intellectual and have found it difficult to have heart-felt feelings.  Before I got married, I went to the Protector Gompa at Manjushri and asked for a sign whether I should get married or not.  I then had a very clear vision of a Buddha approach me and hand me a baby saying, “this is where you will find your heart.”  Being a father has taught me what it means to love another person, to be willing to do anything to help another person.  I use the love I feel for my children as my example of how I should feel towards everyone else.  Father’s Day is a celebration of that and an appreciation of the opportunity to be a father.  More often than not, fathers mistakenly believe Father’s Day is about their children showing (for once!) some appreciation for all that a father does, then when the gratitude doesn’t come they feel let down.  I think a Kadampa father should have exactly the opposite outlook.  Father’s Day is not about receiving gratitude, it is the day where we should try live up fully to be the father we want to become.  It is about us giving love, not receiving gratitude.

Many people are not yet fathers, or maybe they never will be in this life.  But just as everyone has been our father, so too we have been a father to everyone.  We can correctly view each and every living being as our child, and we should love them as a good father would.  The beating heart of bodhichitta is the mind of superior intention, which takes personal responsibility for the welfare of others.  That is what being a father is all about.  We need to adopt the mind that views all beings as our children, and assume personal responsibility for their welfare, both in this life and in all their future lives.  The father we seek to become like is our spiritual father.  What is a Buddha if not a father of all?  This, to me, is the real meaning of Father’s Day.

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Looking Honestly at Life in Samsara

Kadampa Ryan 2. Modern Bodhisattva's Way of Life

(9.154cd)Consider that although all people wish for happiness,
They swing between being troubled by suffering

(9.155) And being overjoyed by meaningless pleasure.
Not finding happiness, they suffer; and in striving to fulfil their wishes
They quarrel, fight, and hurt each other with weapons.
Thus, they consume their lives in the commission of non-virtue.

This is a pretty fair description of our modern life. All of us wish for happiness. We all wish to be free from suffering. We all do our best. Sometimes we have good moments. But most of our life is struggling through one problem or another. Wave after wave of personal calamity confront us. We are not alone in this. Everyone is going through similar suffering each in their own ways. Because most of us do not know about the sublime happiness that is possible from within, we chase after the fleeting pleasures of samsara, hoping that they will bring us some respite from our otherwise difficult existence.

For most people, going on vacation is one of the highlights of their year. They save up all sorts of money to try go on vacation. But when they go, their family complains the hotel or food is not good enough, the sun is too bright and we get a sunburn, there are too many people around us, and we feel as if we’ve spent all this money and done all of this effort to try have a good time, and everybody is still unhappy. It is about the best we get in this world. It is really quite sad.

In our work, we fight with others, jockey for position, complain about our boss or our clients. We get passed over for promotion, we never feel appreciated, or maybe our business gets wiped out by the competition.

In our personal life, we never find the one who makes us happy. We expect others to do the right thing, and when they don’t we feel disappointed or let down or even angry. If we are all alone, we think we need to be with others to be happy. But then when we are with others, they are never happy, and so we spend all of our time trying to help them be happy but never succeeding.

We spend our whole working life planning for retirement, but then when our retirement comes, we are too old or too sick to enjoy ourselves, and the enjoyments we thought we would have never quite turn out to be as good as we had hoped. As we get older our best friends get sick and die, and we are left with empty voids. Our body becomes more fragile, weaker, and it increasingly fails. It hurts everywhere and we are never able to get comfortable. We gradually start doing less and less because we are simply incapable of doing so, and we realized with sadness we will never be able to do these things again.

On our deathbed all the things that we had hoped and worked for wind up being meaningless and useless and we realize that we wasted our life chasing after things that provide no real happiness and no real protection. This is not a fiction, nor a horror story, this is all quite common. This is daily life in the human realm. And the human realm is one of the best possible places to be just imagine sufferings of other realms.

Our Vows Are Promises We Can Train In:

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra, 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Their practice is, when confronted with a tendency to break or neglect the promises, reminding ourself why we made these promises and working through the delusions and negative karma that prevent us from keeping them.

Their primary function is to maintain the uninterrupted continuum of our spiritual path until we attain the final goal. The level of the promise – from refuge, to pratimoksha, to bodhisattva, to our tantric vows – determines the speed with which we complete the path, like water moving through an increasingly narrow hose. Their secondary function is to help us overcome all gross distractions, which is the basic foundation of training in concentration. This in turn enables us to successfully meditate on the Dharma and in particular on the wisdom realizing emptiness that purifies our mind of all delusions and their imprints, thus taking us to the cities of liberation and enlightenment.

Our refuge promises are essentially to (1) to make effort to receive Buddha’s blessings, (2) to make effort to put the Dharma into practice, and (3) to make effort to turn to the Sangha for help. Our pratimoksha promise is essentially to refrain from harming living beings, both ourself and others. Our bodhisattva promise essentially is to not stop until we become a Buddha, in particular through the practice of the six perfections. Our tantric promise is essentially to maintain pure view of ourself, others, our environment, and our activities out of compassion for all living beings. More details can be found in Joyful Path, the Bodhisattva Vow, Universal Compassion, and Tantric Grounds and Paths.

Our most important vow is our heart commitment to Dorje Shugden. This maintains the uninterrupted continuum of our finding the uncommon Kadampa path of the Ganden Oral Lineage instructions, the quickest path to enlightenment of them all.

Within the scope of the heart commitment, I would say there are both common and uncommon promises. The common promises are to (1) cherish the Kadam Dharma, (2) to practice the Kadam Dharma purely without mixing it with other traditions, (3) to share the Kadam Dharma purely without mixing it with other traditions, and (4) to make effort to cause the pure Kadam Dharma to flourish throughout the world.

There are two uncommon promises within our heart commitment to Dorje Shugden. The first is to make the promise to attend every major Kadampa festival (Spring, Summer, and Fall) either in person or on-line between now and at least 2099 (but really, for as long as they last). This functions to preserve the NKT globally for generations to come.

The second uncommon promise of our heart commitment is to keep the Kadampa moral discipline of the Internal Rules of the NKT. These are required if we want to be a Resident Teacher or a center administrator, but are also available to any practitioner. VGL has said they are our most important moral discipline. They are the pinnacle of our Kadampa moral discipline and are taken on the foundation of all the other promises.

None of these promises are imposed upon us from the outside, but are taken freely by the practitioner based upon a clear wisdom that understands benefits of keeping these promises and the dangers of breaking them. All of these promises are worked with gradually and have many levels. When we break them, we can purify the downfall and restore them within our mind. We can do this daily.

We are so lucky to even know of these things, much less have the opportunity to train in them. I would say they are true wishfulfilling jewels.