Understanding Being in Keajra Without Abandoning our Human Body:

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra, 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

I’ve been thinking about what it means to attain Keajra without abandoning our human body.

Geshe-la said in Portugal that, “When practitioners reach Keajra pure land or Keajra Heaven through a transferrence of consciousness in this sadhana, their previous body immediately changes into the nature of light. If a practitioner who is 80 years old reaches the pure land of Keajra, he or she will become like a 16-year-old youth with a body made of light and filled with bliss. The contaminated body ceases and their body transforms into an uncontaminated body, permanently free from sickness, aging, death, and every kind of samsaric rebirth. Their original body transforms into a special body.”

It seems the meaning from the perspective of such a practitioner is their original body (in the aspect of Ryan, for example) continues to appear but is perceived as being the nature of light. It transforms into a “special body.” Their contaminated body that they normally see completely disappears, but this “special body” of light in the aspect of their original body continues to appear like an emanation in this world. But “their body,” the basis of imputation referred to by the mere name “my body,” becomes like a 16 year old in the prime of their youth, with a body of wisdom light filled with bliss.

It is like Russian dolls. The outer layer is their “special body” in the aspect of their original body that performs a function in this world like an emanation, but within that, like a Russian doll, they see themselves with a deity body. Their original body may still appear as an 80 year old, but they experience “their body” as the 16 year old deity body. The thought “my body” no longer refers to the our original body, but to our deity body; but our ordinary body still appears to us in its normal aspect but no longer as a contaminated body, but rather as a “special body” of wisdom light.

So is this special body still in samsara? It depends upon from whose perspective we look at it. For the people in our life, they will continue to see us as they have always seen us, through the lens of their karma. But we see our original body as a special body of wisdom light in the aspect of our original body.

But VGL goes further and says, “With this practice of the Uncommon Yoga of Inconceivability, we can reach the pure land of Keajra with this human body. When practitioners engage in the special transferrence of consciousness, their consciousness does not leave their body, but goes to Keajra together with the body.” In other words, we experience it as if our human body is in Keajra. How can that be if our special body still has its original aspect and still appears to be functioning in our original world? All sorts of questions start to arise.

I think the answer to these questions lies in something VGL said long ago that “the mind of Lamrim is Akanishta pure land.”

During the teachings on distractions, Gen-la Jampa explained (quoting How to Understand the Mind) that nothing is a distraction from its own side, but becomes so when we engage with it with a deluded mind. Deluded minds project objects of delusion and all objects of delusion are distractions. But if we relate to objects with Lamrim minds, they cease to be objects of delusion, they become objects of Dharma. That annoying person in our life becomes an object of our patience, the deluded person becomes an object of our compassion, everyone becomes an object of our love, and everything becomes an object of the wisdom realizing emptiness. These objects cease to be objects of samsara, but become objects of Akanishta pure land. The mind of Lamrim is Akanishta pure land.

So from the perspective of the practitioner, their human body is also with them in Keajra and they see their human body functioning in a world similar in aspect to the world we normally see in our daily lives, but instead of it appearing as contaminated objects of delusion, everything appears as objects of Dharma because they are relating to all objects with Lamrim minds.

A similar outcome can be obtained through our faith in Dorje Shugden alone. If we view all things as emanated by Dorje Shugden and that we are in his pure land training grounds, the aspect may still appear similarly as our original world, but for us it will be his pure land because all objects that appear to our mind are seen as objects of Dharma (because we are relating to them all with Lamrim minds).

With this understanding, there are no contradictions and everything settles into the pure land quite nicely.

May we all attain Keajra without abandoning this human body.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Motivation for series

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Normally we think of our vows and commitments as an afterthought at best or as chains at worst.  We have all taken our vows many times when we received empowerments or when we engage in our daily practice, but many of us still have not started to take our practice of them seriously.  We swing from either the extreme of not even giving our vows a second thought to the extreme of beating ourselves up with them out of guilt for all the different ways we fall short.  We swing from the extreme of over-interpreting the words “do your best” to mean “don’t even bother trying” to the extreme of thinking in absolutist terms about what they mean and imply.  We quite often view them as rules or restrictions imposed from the outside, or we view them as constraints on our having any fun in life.  To us, vows and commitments often seem to restrict our freedom, but we accept we have to take them because we want to go to a given empowerment.  But the reality is most of the time we don’t even think about them, and we make almost no effort whatsoever to train in them.

This series of posts will attempt to reverse our attitude towards our vows and commitments.  Instead of viewing them as restrictions on our freedom and fun, we can come to view them as an internal GPS guiding our way to the blissful city of enlightenment where the party never stops.  If we want to go to a particular city, we program our GPS, hit go, and start driving.  We happily follow the directions without feeling like we are being deprived of all the wonders on the side streets we could be exploring.  When we miss a turn, we usually say a curse word, but then the GPS plans a new route, and we happily continue on our way.  When we arrive at our destination, we think to ourselves, “man, this thing is great.  How did I ever get around without one?”  It is exactly the same with our vows.  We want to go to the city of enlightenment (our good motivation), the vows and commitments are like the directions the GPS gives us along the way to keep us on our chosen route, and if we follow them happily but persistently, they will definitely deliver us to our final destination.  If we get lost or take a wrong turn, we don’t need to worry, because the GPS gives us new directions that we then follow.  No matter how lost we become, no matter how many wrong turns we make, we always know if we just keep following the directions it gives us, we will eventually get there.  It may take longer than what was originally planned (wrong turns), or there may be unexpected traffic (negative karma we need to purify), but if we just keep at it, we will get there. 

I know some people think their GPS gets upset at them when they make wrong turns.  But this is just our own anger at ourselves projecting our frustration onto the GPS voice.  But nowadays, we can program our GPS with all sorts of different voices to choose one more pleasant.  I actually know somebody whose GPS has the option of choosing the voice of a Porn Star (turn right, baby…)!  In the same way, we need to make an effort of giving our vows and commitments “the right voice” within our mind.  When we remember them or but up against them, we need to have them speak to us with the loving, understanding voice of our Spiritual Guide.  We need to hear him chuckle and say, “don’t worry, be happy, just try.”  The chuckle is important.  The sign that we have proper renunciation is we are able to have a good laugh at ourselves and our delusions.  It’s OK and it’s normal that we make a hash out of it.  When we make mistakes, we learn from them and move on.  We think beating ourselves up with guilt motivates us to do better, but it doesn’t.  Guilt is anger directed against ourselves.  It destroys all joy in our training, and when we lose the joy, we lose our effort (effort is taking delight in engaging in our practices).  Without effort, we have nothing.  We might do our practice every day for aeons, but if we don’t enjoy ourselves while trying, we actually have no effort and will therefore experience no results.  If we want, we can give the vows and commitments the seductive voice of Vajrayogini calling us to join her at her place! 

Our conception of freedom is completely wrong.  Freedom is the ability to choose.  But being a slave to every whim of our delusions is not freedom, it is bondage of an eternal order.  True freedom is the ability to choose to pursue what we know is actually good for us.  Our vows and commitments run in exactly opposite the direction our delusions want to go.  Since we are still fooled by the lies of our delusions, we think if we follow them, they will lead us to happiness.  The reality is all delusions share the same final destination – the deepest hell.  They all eventually lead us to the same place, but they trick us by painting an image of an illusory paradise just over the horizon.  Duped again and again, we run towards suffering and away from true freedom. 

There are three main reasons why we should train in the moral discipline of our vows and commitments.  First, doing so creates the karmic causes to maintain the continuum of our Dharma practice without interruption between now and our eventual enlightenment.  Second, doing so strengthens the power of our mindfulness and alertness, which are the two most important muscles for strong concentration.  And third, moral discipline is the substantial cause of higher rebirth.  We seek the highest rebirth of all – enlightenment – but getting there is often like climbing many, many flights of stairs.  But it is a joyful climb, because the higher we go the more blissful we feel.  And it is certainly better than the alternative of falling down the stairs…

In this series of posts, I will attempt to go through each of the vows and commitments of Kadampa Buddhism.  I will first explain what each vow is, then I will discuss some instances in our modern lives where these vows come into play, and finally I will discuss some strategies for how to keep the vow with a joyful mind.  My hope by explaining all this is I might myself finally start training in my vows and commitments with all the spiritual fruit that flows from this.  If others are also able to benefit from these explanations, then it is all the better.

Happy Protector Day: Tapping into Dorje Shugden’s Power

Kadampa Ryan 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden, Protector Days, Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

The 29th of every month is Protector Day.  This is part 7 of a 12-part series aimed at helping us remember our Dharma Protector Dorje Shugden and increase our faith in him on these special days.

The remainder of the sadhana is largely making requests to Dorje Shugden.  Before we get into the specifics, I want to now explain some general advice on how to increase the power of our making requests to him.  These apply equally to the meditation break as well as the meditation session. 

First, the extent to which he can help us depends on the degree of faith we have in him.  If our faith is weak, his protection will be weak.  This is not because he is holding back it is because our mind remains closed so he has few points of entry for bestowing his blessings.  If our faith is indestructible and infinite, then his protection of us will be infinite.  If we understand this we will realize that our primary training in the practice of Dorje Shugden is increasing our faith in him.

Second, he can help us to the extent that our motivation is pure.  When our motivation is pure, it is like we align the crystals of our mind perfectly with the light of the deity.  To improve our motivation, we need to train sincerely in Lamrim.  The main function of Lamrim is to change our heart desires from worldly ones into spiritual ones.  Once we get our motivation right, everything else naturally falls into place.  It is the mental factor intention that determines the karma we create, so intention is the most important.

Third, he can help us to the extent that we realize that he, ourselves and everything else are empty.  The main point is this:  Dorje Shugden isn’t anything from his own side.  He is as powerful as we construct him to be.  We can construct him as an ordinary being or as an infinitely powerful protector.

After the invitation to Dorje Shugden, which has already been explained, we then make offerings and requests as follows:

HUM
Respectfully I prostrate with body, speech and mind. 

Here we imagine that from ourself and from all the beings we previously put within the protection circle, we emanate all of our past and future bodies.  Then with all of these past, present and future emanations of ourself, we prostrate.  This creates special merit with him so that he can provide us protection in all our past, present and future lives.  How Dorje Shugden protects us in our present and future lives is easy to understand.  But how can he provide us protection in our past lives when they have already passed?   He can bless our mind so that everything that happened to us in the past also becomes a cause of our enlightenment. We view our past differently in such a way that it teaches us lessons of Dharma.  In this way, no matter when we start our practice, even if it is when we are very old, it can be as if we effectively have practiced our whole life.  When we go to normal psychological therapists, they help us process our past so that it is no longer a drag on us.  In the same way, by requesting Dorje Shugden to transform our past experiences into a cause of our enlightenment, we receive special blessings to view these events differently.  We may even come to view our greatest past trauma as our greatest life blessing.  Such is the power of Dorje Shugden and the truth of emptiness.

I offer a mass of inner and outer offerings, blissful tormas,
Alcohol, tea, cakes, milk, and curd,
Both actually set out and mentally imagined, filling the whole of space.

The basic idea is this:  whatever we offer to Dorje Shugden, he can then use for our swiftest possible enlightenment.  For example, if I offer my house to him, then everything that happens in my house will be emanated by him for my practice, etc.  So mentally, we offer everything because we want to use everything for our attainment of enlightenment. 

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Dedication for the Entire Series

Kadampa Ryan Uncategorized

And now we come to the final chapter of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, chapter 10, Dedication.  Shantideva reveals the practice the perfection of giving in his dedication of the merit he has accumulated from composing the Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life.   It is a most beautiful expression of a mind of giving without boundaries, in the form of a special prayer.  The whole of the Guide culminates with these very special words of giving, showing, actually, where all a bodhisattva’s actions are leading.  In fact, showing where our whole life, a bodhisattva’s life, is being directed.

I remember when I first read this dedication, I was astounded. I had never read anything quite like this before.  So, so moving.  It sums up for me what a bodhisattva is really about.  It seems we can put everything, all the trainings of a bodhisattva that have been explained by Shantideva, into the practice of giving.

I think we can understand why Shantideva’s left this until the very end, revealing the practice of giving in the form of dedication.  It says so much about Shantideva and the bodhisattva’s way of life. It seems the whole of a bodhisattva’s life can be regarded as one of giving, finally.  Shantideva, it is clear with these verses, he thinks about everyone.  He thinks about everyone and wants the best for others.  He wants to give others everything they could possibly hope for, everything they could possibly wish for.  Such selflessness is almost beyond words.  Extraordinary.

I would encourage people to use this dedication as their own.  For example, when you feel that you have accumulated a lot of virtue, a lot of merit with a particular activity, at the end of that activity, use this dedication.  I know many people who have done this.  They felt they have accumulated a lot of merit through their efforts, they then go to this dedication at the end of the day or their long retreat, or perhaps their studying the whole of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life.

I will not provide a commentary to the dedication, because we need to make it our own.  There are some of you reading this who have been with me since the very beginning, when I started this commentary way back in November 2015.  It has been a long ride, but hopefully one you have enjoyed as much as I have.  We can sit down on our meditation cushion, perhaps this weekend, and read through this dedication, trying to make it your own.  We can dedicate any and all merit we have accumulated from reading these posts in the same way that Shantideva did.  It is what he would want.  It is the best way we can honor his contribution to our spiritual lives to dedicate in the same way. 

But the true dedication is not simply reciting these words from our heart, but dedicating ourselves to bringing these dedications into reality.  We need to ourselves become bodhisattvas, travel the bodhisattva path, and then give back to all living beings in this way.  In other words, don’t make this a dedication prayer, dedicate your life to making it come true.

(1) Through the virtues I have created
By composing Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life,
May all living beings without exception
Practise the Bodhisattva’s deeds.

(2) By virtue of my merits,
May all beings everywhere,
Tormented by sufferings of body and mind,
Find physical comfort and mental joy.

(3) For as long as they remain in samsara,
May their temporary happiness never decline;
And may they all eventually experience
The everlasting joy of Buddhahood.

(4) May all embodied creatures
Throughout the universe
Who are experiencing the pains of hell
Enjoy the bliss of Sukhavati Pure Land.

(5) May those tormented by cold find warmth,
And may those tormented by heat be cooled
By a continuous rain of soothing waters
Flowing from the vast clouds of the Bodhisattvas’ merit and wisdom.

(6) May the forest of razor-sharp leaves
Become a delightful woodland glade,
And may the trees of splintered iron and piercing thorns
Transform into wish-fulfilling trees.

(7) May the regions of hell become joyful lands
Adorned with vast and fragrant lotus pools
Resounding with the enchanting calls
Of wild geese, ducks, and swans.

(8) May the heaps of burning coals become piles of various jewels,
May the red-hot iron ground become a soothing crystal floor,
And may the mountains of the crushing hells
Become celestial palaces of worship filled with Sugatas.

(9) May the hail of lava, blazing stones, and weapons
Henceforth become a rain of flowers,
And may all attacks with weapons
From now on become a playful exchange of flowers.

(10) May those drowning in the fiery torrents of acid –
Their flesh eaten away to reveal their lily-white bones –
Attain the bodies of celestial beings
And sport with consorts in gently flowing streams.

(11) “Why are the henchmen of the Lord of Death and the unbearable buzzards and vultures so afraid?
By whose noble power is the darkness of our suffering dispelled and joy bestowed upon us?”
Looking above them, those in hell will behold the radiant form of Vajrapani, the Holder of the Vajra.
Through the force of their new-found faith and joy, may they be freed from past evil and come to abide with him.

(12) When they see the lava fires of hell extinguished by a rain of flowers moist with scented waters,
And are immediately satiated with bliss,
They will wonder by whose hand this was brought about
And behold Pämapani, the Holder of the Lotus.

(13) “Friends, cast away your fears and quickly gather here,
For above us is the youthful Manjushri, whose radiant topknot dispels all fears.
Endowed with great compassion and bodhichitta, he protects all living beings,
And through his power dispels all suffering and bestows perfect joy.

(14) “Behold him in his enchanting palace resounding with the songs of a thousand celestial beings,
With hundreds of gods bowing before him, their tiaras touching his lotus feet,
And a vast rain of flowers falling upon his gracious head, his eyes moist with compassion.”
Thus, upon seeing Manjushri, may all beings in hell cry out with joy.

(15) Likewise, when through my roots of virtue all beings in hell
Feel the cool, sweet-smelling rain descending from miraculous clouds
Created by Bodhisattvas such as Samantabhadra,
May they experience perfect happiness.

(16) May all animals be freed from the fears
Of being preyed upon by one another,
And may all hungry spirits be as happy
As the inhabitants of the northern continent.

(17) May they be satiated by a stream of milk
Flowing from the compassionate hands
Of Arya Avalokiteshvara
And, by bathing in it, may they be constantly refreshed.

(18) May the blind see forms,
May the deaf hear sounds,
And just as it was with Mayadevi, the mother of Buddha,
May all pregnant women give birth without pain.

(19) May the naked find clothing,
May the hungry find food,
And may the thirsty find pure water
And delicious drinks.

(20) May the poor find wealth,
May those weak with sorrow find joy,
And may those whose fortunes have declined
Find replenishment and long-lasting good fortune.

(21) May everyone who is sick
Be swiftly healed,
And may every disease that affects living beings
Be permanently eradicated.

(22) May the frightened be released from their fears,
May those in captivity be freed,
May the powerless be endowed with power,
And may people think only of benefiting one another.

(23) May travellers on the road
Find happiness wherever they go,
And without any effort
Accomplish whatever they set out to do.

(24) May those who sail by ship or boat
Obtain whatever they seek
And, returning safely to the shore,
Joyfully reunite with their friends and relatives.

(25) May those distressed because they have lost their way
Meet with fellow travellers
And, without any fear of thieves or other dangers,
Proceed comfortably without fatigue.

(26) May those in dangerous and fearful places,
Children, the aged, and the unprotected,
As well as the bewildered and the insane,
Be guarded by benevolent celestials.

(27) May all humans be freed from all the unfree states,
May they be endowed with faith, wisdom, and compassion,
And may they have the very best food, follow pure conduct,
And always be concerned for their future lives.

(28) May they have inexhaustible joy and copious resources,
Just like the supreme treasury;
And may they enjoy freedom,
With no disputes, interferences, or injury.

(29) May those who possess little splendour
Be endowed with majesty,
And may those whose bodies are worn through asceticism
Attain magnificent and noble forms.

(30) May all beings everywhere
Take rebirth in a gender of their choice,
And may the lowly and downcast attain grandeur
Without ever displaying pride.

(31) By the power of the merit I have accumulated,
May all living beings without exception
Abandon all forms of evil
And always engage in virtue.

(32) May they never be separated from bodhichitta
And always follow the Bodhisattva’s way of life.
May they be cared for by Buddhas and Spiritual Guides
And forsake all demonic activity.

(33) While in samsara, may they be reborn in fortunate realms
And enjoy inconceivably long lives,
Abiding always in contentment
Without ever hearing the word “death”.

(34) May all places throughout the world
Become gardens of wish-fulfilling trees,
Resounding with the sound of Dharma
Proclaimed by Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

(35) May the whole ground
Become completely pure,
As level as the palm of a hand,
And as smooth as lapis lazuli.
(36) And in every land may there appear,
For the sake of all disciples,
Multitudes of Bodhisattvas
Possessed of excellent qualities.

(37) May all living beings uninterruptedly hear
The sweet sound of Dharma
Issuing forth from birds and trees,
Beams of light, and even space itself.

(38) May they always meet with Buddha
And their Sons and Daughters, the Bodhisattvas;
And may the Spiritual Guides of the world
Be venerated with clouds of offerings.

(39) May celestial beings bring timely rains,
And may harvests always be plentiful.
May governments rule in accordance with Dharma,
And may the people of the world prosper.

(40) May all medicines be effective,
May the recitation of mantras fulfil all wishes,
And may all spirits and animals who have
influence over us Be endowed with great compassion.

(41) May no one ever experience physical pain,
Mental anguish, or sickness.
May they be free from all forms of unhappiness,
And may no one ever be afraid or belittled.

(42) In all temples and Dharma centres,
May recitation and meditation flourish forever.
May the Sangha always be in harmony,
And may their wish to benefit others be fulfilled.

(43) May Sangha who wish to practise purely
Find the right conditions to do so
And, abandoning all distractions,
Meditate with mental suppleness.

(44) May the ordained be materially provided for
And always be free from harm.
May no one who has taken ordination
Ever allow their moral discipline to degenerate.

(45) May all those who have broken their moral discipline
Completely purify their downfalls.
May they attain a fortunate rebirth
And never allow their morality to decline again.

(46) May those who are learned in Dharma be respected
And receive material support.
May their minds be pure and peaceful,
And may their good qualities be proclaimed in all directions.

(47) May they never experience the sufferings of the lower realms
Or meet with hardships of body, speech, or mind.
May they have forms superior to those of the gods
And quickly attain the state of a Buddha.

(48) May all living beings again and again
Make offerings to the Buddhas.
May they become endowed with the eternal bliss
Of a fully enlightened being.

(49) May the Bodhisattvas fulfil the welfare of the world
In the very manner they have intended,
And may all living beings receive
Everything the Buddhas have intended for them.

(50) Likewise, may all Solitary Realizers and Hearers
Attain the happiness of nirvana.

(51) And until I attain the level of the Joyous One,
Through the blessings of Manjushri,
May I be concerned for all my future lives
And always receive ordination.

(52) May I always live humbly, sustained by simple food.
Throughout all my lives, may I abide in solitude
And always find ideal conditions
For achieving my spiritual goals.

(53) Whenever I wish to see a scripture
Or compose even a single verse,
May I behold without obstruction
Protector Manjushri.

(54) To fulfil the needs of all living beings
Reaching to the ends of space,
May my way of life always resemble
That of Manjushri.

(55) For as long as space exists
And for as long as living beings remain in samsara,
May I abide among them
To dispel all their suffering.

(56) May all the suffering of all living beings
Ripen solely upon me;
And by the power of the Bodhisattvas’ virtue and aspirations
May all beings experience happiness.

(57) May the Buddhadharma, the sole medicine for all suffering
And the source of all happiness,
Be materially supported and honoured,
And remain for a very long time.

(58) I prostrate to Manjushri,
Through whose kindness my virtuous intentions arise;
And I prostrate to my Spiritual Guide,
Through whose kindness my virtuous qualities increase.
This concludes the tenth chapter of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, entitled “Dedication”.

This concludes Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, composed by the Buddhist Master Shantideva.

Happy Tsog Day: Generating a Supreme Good Heart

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 34 of a 44-part series.

How to meditate on superior intention and generate bodhichitta

Through love, compassion, and superior intention,
And the magical practice of mounting taking and giving upon the breath,
I seek your blessings to generate the actual bodhichitta,
To free all migrators from this great ocean of samsara.

This verse explains how all the previous verses combined together into the practice of generating bodhicitta. Love refers to the mind of cherishing others, considering their happiness and freedom to be important. Compassion is the wish to protect other living beings from their suffering. Superior intention is the mind that assumes personal responsibility to protect others from their suffering. The magical practice of taking and giving up on the breath is a method for ripening our bodhicitta by bringing the future result of liberating all living beings into the path. In this verse, we request blessings from the spiritual guide to generate the actual bodhicitta in our mind. Bodhichitta has two wishes. The principal wish is to free all migrators from the ocean of samsara. The assistant wish is the wish to become a Buddha so as to be able to fulfill our principal wish. Geshe-la gives the analogy of wishing to have a cup of tea. Our principle wishes to have a cup of tea, and the assistant wish is to get a cup. If our principal wish is strong, we naturally get a cup without giving it much thought, and certainly without forgetting our principal wish to have a cup of tea. Our principal wish is not to get a cup, it is to drink tea. We need the cup in order to do so. In the same way, our principal wish is to free all living beings from samsara. Since this wish is so burning within us, we naturally attain enlightenment because that is the only means of being able to do so.

An often overlooked ingredient of generating the mind bodhicitta is accepting our present inability to help others. As our compassion grows, we naturally want to protect others from their suffering, but as a result we come face to face with our current inability to do so. This can cause us to become frustrated and discouraged. This discouragement or frustration comes from our failure to accept that for as long as beings remained in samsara, they will continue to suffer. The mind of compassion wishes that living beings not suffer. The mind of attachment to others not suffering has the same wish. But these are two fundamentally different minds. The former is motivated by cherishing love, wishing others to be happy; whereas the latter is motivated by attachment, wishing ourselves to be happy while thinking that others need to be happy in order for us to be happy. We need to abandon our attachment to others being happy and free from suffering in order to generate authentic love and compassion for others. This depends upon us being able to fully accept beings will continue to suffer for as long as we do not attain enlightenment. We have to come to peace with this fact before we will then be able to not be crushed by the suffering around us. What enables us to be at peace with the fact that others suffer is the knowledge that we have found a final solution that will enable us to in the future once and for all free all living beings from all their suffering. Seen in this way, accepting our present powerlessness and helplessness is an essential foundation for the exalted mind bodhicitta.

Sometimes we also doubt it is possible for a being such as ourselves to become a Buddha. Bodhichitta simply becomes words we say, not something we feel in our heart. We struggle to even get through the day, much less take on their personal responsibility to free all living beings. We see how despite having been around the Dharma for many years, we remain highly deluded. This causes us to doubt our ability to become a Buddha, and if we do not think it is possible to become one, it will be impossible for us to generate authentic bodhicitta. To overcome this doubt, we need to have unshakable faith in our pure potential. Geshe-la explains in Oral Instructions of Mahamudra that our indestructible wind and our indestructible mind at our heart are our indestructible body and mind. They are our deathless body and mind that go with us from life to life, and will eventually transform into the body and mind of a Buddha. The ultimate nature of this indestructible wind and indestructible mind, in other words the emptiness of these two, is our naturally abiding Buddha nature. Because it is empty, it can become anything. If we create the karma to become a Buddha, we will. All it takes is sufficient patience and perseverance to continue for as long as it takes. We all have experience of having changed ourselves a little. If we can change ourselves a little, we can change ourselves completely. It is only our attachment to results and our impatience with wanting to be farther along than we are that causes us to become discouraged. We need to accept where we are at and then grow from there. This is the well-balanced mind of a steady practitioner.

How to take the vows of aspiring and engaging bodhichitta

I seek your blessings to strive sincerely on the sole path
Traversed by all the Conquerors of the three times –
To bind my mind with pure Bodhisattva vows
And practise the three moral disciplines of the Mahayana.

Once we have generated the wish to become a Buddha, we then need to do something to become a Buddha. The foundation of the Mahayana path is the practice of the bodhisattva vows. These vows and commitments provide us with guidelines for how to ripen our Buddha nature and to put into practice our bodhichitta wish. An extensive explanation of the vows the body sought for vows could be found in the book The Bodhisatta Vow. You can also read about how to integrate these into our modern life through the series of posts I did earlier. Every Buddha attained enlightenment independence upon generating the mind of bodhichitta, maintaining their bodhisattva vows, and practicing the six perfections.

It is important to renew our vows daily. In general, we can say we only break our vows if we make the decision to no longer follow them. But practically speaking, if we do not remember them, we will not be able to practice them. It is also not sufficient to generate the intention to observe the bodhisattva vows once, we must become deeply familiar with this wish. For this reason, we should retake our bodhisatva vows every day. In Oral Instructions of Mahamudra, Geshe-la explains how to do this in the context of the practice Hundreds of Deities of the Joyful Land according to Highest Yoga Tantra. Each time we retake our bodhisattva vows, we should strongly believe that we have purified all the negative karma associated with transgressions of our vows, and that we have received fresh vows upon our mental continuum.

It is particularly important to die with fresh vows upon our mind. As explained before, our vows function to maintain the continuum of our Dharma practice without interruption between now and our eventual enlightenment. When we are on our deathbed, it is important to refresh all our vows – our refuge vows, our pratimoksha vows, our bodhisattva vows, and our tantric vows. We can restore our refuge vows and our bodhisattva vows with the practice of Hundreds of Deities of the Joyful Land. We can restore our pratimoksha vows with the short sadhana for doing so. And we can restore our tantric vows through engaging in self-initiation. In order to engage in self-initiation we have to have previously completed a close retreat of either Heruka or Vajrayogini. Once we have engaged in a close retreat, we can retake our tantric vows anytime we wish. This is one of the principal advantages or reasons for engaging in a close retreat. When one of Venerable Tharchin’s students was about to die, he went to the hospital and engaged in self-initiation with the person so that they could die with fresh tantric vows on their mental continuum. Within the context of the self-initiation practice, we can retake all our vows. I pray that all Kadampas are able to engage in self-initiation just prior to the moment of their death. If we are able to do so, we can be guaranteed to find once again the tantric path to enlightenment in our next life.

What to do When Scandal Strikes Within the Tradition:

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

Just because some senior teachers may fall into scandal does not mean the Dharma is wrong, it means their understanding was wrong or their delusions or negative karma got the best of them.

Gen Tharchin said our primary refuge should be in the Dharma, not the person. The reason for this is simple. If we put our primary refuge in the person and they do something stupid, we will lose everthing. But if we put our primary refuge in the Dharma and the person does something stupid, the conclusion we reach is their story is a cautionary tale encouraging us to not do stupid things or to not hold on to wrong understandings. Instead of losing everything, we will become more motivated to do things correctly. Their downfall becomes their most powerful teaching.

And let’s be honest with ourselves, our tradition has had its fair share of pretty awful scandals. We don’t need to run away from these, minimize them, sugarcoat them, or worse deny them. We need to have the courage to own them, call a spade a spade and declare wrong is wrong, even when committed by people within our tradition. Indeed, I would say we especially need to do this if we want our tradition to survive, much less thrive. At the same time, we also don’t need to exaggerate our mistakes, self-flagellate about them, or become despondent about them. We simply admit them, learn from our mistakes, make amends, and move on. This is just as true for the tradition as a whole as it is for us as individuals.

We have also left a wake of some really hurt people by unskfillful things we have done or how some people have been treated. Sure, they made mistakes too along the way, but that doesn’t absolve us of our own mistakes. We need to own them, admit them, and do our best to repair any damage we may have caused.

Yes, we need to defend our tradition, sometimes even in wrathful ways, but we don’t have to harm living beings in the process of doing so. Sometimes (I would say most of the time, if not all of the time) the best way of defending our tradition is by responding with patience, acceptance, understanding, compassion, and wisdom. We need to show love for these people, not scorn. We need to be grateful for their criticisms, not retaliate in kind.

Just because we are defending something precious does not give us license to betray the teachings by harming those who seek to harm us. This doesn’t mean we do nothing or allow false accusations to stand, but we don’t protect our principles by violating them. It is like those who called for suspending democracy or engaging in torture during the war on terrorism in the name of supposedly defending it.

As a tradition, we need to have the courage to learn from our mistakes. And by and large we have done so. Things are so much better now than they were before. But we still have a long ways to go. Admitting that is not a criticism, it is an act of love for the tradition. Owning up to our mistakes and making amends for them are crucial parts of how we cause the Dharma to flourish for generations to come.

How to Respond to False Accusations or Criticism

Kadampa Ryan 3. Tantra, 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden

As individuals, groups, countries, even species, we will be subject to all sorts of false accusations or criticisms. This is sometimes very painful, especially if they come from those we love or are close to, or it touches on something dear to us like our role as a worker or parent, or it is about something important to us, such as our spiritual tradition or practice. In the Dorje Shugden prayers, it says, “now is the time to dispel false accusations against the innocent.” What follows are various ways we can do that, or at least things I have found to be helpful.

False accusations can take many forms, from others accusing us of doing something we didn’t do, having ill intent, misunderstanding what we are doing or saying but believing that misunderstanding to be true, being a worse person than we actually are, of being the cause of problems that aren’t our fault, and so forth. The list is endless.

So what can we do when this happens? Here are a few suggestions of things that have helped me.

First and foremost, we need to check is the accusation indeed false? We need to be honest both with ourselves and with others here. If the accusation or criticism is correct and we lie to ourselves, we never become a better person. If the accusation is correct and we pretend or lie to the other person that it is not, that’s gaslighting and usually fools nobody. If the criticism is fair, then the correct response is to be genuinely grateful that the other person pointed it out, regardless of whether their intention in doing so was love for us or hatred of us. Most often, whatever criticisms are lobbed our way are a mix – part correct and part false. For the correct part, we should admit it, apologize, and then apply effort to change. For the incorrect part, we can try the ideas below.

Second, we need to accept patiently as purification that this is our karma to have people lodge false accusations against us and believe them to be true. When you think about it, we do this to others all the time. Every time our delusions project some exaggerated or distorted image of another person and we believe it to be true, we create the karma of mentally making false accusations. If we verbalize it, then that is one step further. When you think about it, all delusions are actually false accusations. They project a distorted image and then grasp at that distortion as if it were actually true. We have been doing this since beginningless time, so we shouldn’t be surprised when some of that karma ripens. What does it mean to accept false accusations as purification? It does not mean we assent to the false accusation as being true nor does it mean we do nothing about it. It simply accepts that, “yup, this has happened. It is my karma that it has happened. My patiently accepting it is what it is will gradually purify the karmic seed giving rise to it.” When negative karma ripens for me, I like to imagine that I take on all the negative karma of all beings (including all my future selves) to experience such things and my experiencing of it is actually me purifying not only my negative karma but all the negative karma of everyone else so nobody ever has to go through what I’m going through. So I can think, “May I take on all the negative karma of false accusations of all beings (including all my future selves), and may my patiently accepting this false accusation now purify all of it for them and for me.” It goes without saying we should not retaliate in kind because that just restarts the karmic cycle all over again.

Third, we need to let go of all attachment to what other people think about us. Of course we care what other people think about us because we cannot help others or have good relationships with them if they think bad things of us. But we don’t need to be attached to what other people think about us, even those very close to us such as our family, coworkers, or friends. To be attached to something means we think our happiness depends upon this external thing. We need this external thing to be happy and we can’t be happy without it. To be attached to what others think about us means we think we need others to think good things about us to be happy and we can’t be happy if they think bad things about us. No, our happiness depends upon our inner peace. If our mind is at peace, we can be happy, even if other people think terrible and false things about us. We need to be mentally at peace with the fact that people believe false things about us. This doesn’t mean we are happy that they think false things about us, but that their thinking false things about us does not disturb our inner peace. When it hurts that people think false things about us we are being clearly shown where there is still such attachment in our mind, and this episode gives us an opportunity to root it out. Great! When we don’t have attachment to what other people think about us for some things, it is easier to let go of this attachment for all things. So much inner pain comes from being concerned with what others think about us. Rooting out this attachment from our mind is one of the most liberating things we can do in life and will likely make one of the biggest differences to our overall well-being.

Fourth, once our mind has accepted the situation as it is (others believe false things about us) and we have removed (or at least sufficiently reduced) any attachment from our mind thinking our happiness depends upon what they think about us, we can then try clarify our perspective on the situation (if the other person is open to hearing our perspective, that is). When we clarify, we shouldn’t say, “you’re wrong.” Because we are appearing vividly to the mind of the other person to be that way and to tell them they are wrong will likely either be taken as gaslighting, obliviousness to our obvious faults, or cause them to just grasp even more tightly to their false view of us. Instead, we should say things like, “I can see how you could view it that way, “ or “I understand your perspective,” and “if indeed I were that way, I could see why you would be upset since obviously that would be bad.” This acknowledges that the other person sees what they see, but simultaneously acknowledges that there are other ways of viewing things. If they are open to hearing your perspective on the situation, you can then offer it – not saying it is right and the other person is wrong, just this is how you see it and understand it. There is more than one way of viewing this. They may or may not accept your perspective, they may or may not be able to accept that there is any perspective other than theirs, but that is not something we can control. If despite our clarification, they continue to falsely view us negatively, then we need to accept that they have their opinion and we have ours and that is perfectly OK. They may be mad at us that we don’t share their perspective, but that is their issue, not ours (though it is still our karma to have people be mad at us and something we also need to accept as purification). We are not responsible for managing how other people view us or react to the things that appear in their life. That is their responsibility.

Fifth, we can view the false criticism as an indication of what we need to work on next as we proceed with our bodhisattva training. A bodhisattva seeks to abandon all faults and attain all good qualities. If somebody is making a false accusation against us and believing it to be true, we could just blithely say, “not my problem, that is their karma to see me this way.” Yes, it is true, how they see us is not our problem (meaning their distorted view of us is something happening in their mind and thus not something we can control) and it is their karma to see us that way, but to stop there would be to miss out on a great opportunity for improvement. Yes, realizing it is not our problem helps us let go of our attachment thinking how they view us matters for our inner peace and it prevents us from developing self-hatred by internalizing their distorted, negative view of us, so in this sense it is very good. But we can do even better. We can view their false accusation of us as a sign from Dorje Shugden that we need to do the work within ourselves to remove any last possible valid basis for others to view us falsely in this way. For example, if somebody views us as a bad parent, then view this as a sign we should work on becoming a better parent. Just because we can become a better parent doesn’t mean we are presently a bad parent, just we still have room for improvement. So improve! Do a better job. If others doubt us, thinking we are worse than we are, then we can view this as an opportunity to work on proving them wrong by getting better and improving in the ways that they see wrongly. Doing so can’t hurt us. If over time we consistently show the example of somebody who does NOT have the faults the other person is falsely accusing us of having, and instead we show the example of somebody who is the opposite of these things, there is a chance the other person can gradually change their view of us because there will be no valid basis for their wrong view of us. It may take time, but if we prove ourselves to not be what they think we are, they may gradually come to see us differently. Or maybe they won’t. Maybe they are not capable of letting go of their view of us. Maybe for some reason unknown to us they need to view us in this negative way. This is not something we can control. But even if it doesn’t work, we will at least have improved thanks to their false accusation of us, so we will be better off. In short, when somebody makes a false accusation against you, “prove them wrong.” Not because you are attached to what they think or because you want to be right, but because by proving them wrong you become a better person, which is the essence of our bodhisattva training. You can even dedicate your efforts so that in the future you will be able to help the person making false accusations against you.

There is much more I could say about the karmic effects of tantric pure view, emptiness, etc., but I think the above are some practical things we can do to at least maintain our inner peace despite other people thinking bad things of us or making false accusations against us (or things we hold dear, such as our tradition or practice). That’s a good enough start. On the foundation of being at peace with these things, we can then engage in more advanced practices. But without this basic foundation, these other things can become some sort of spiritual cos play that is really an act of repression, not the dismantling of delusions and faults within our mind.

I hope this helps. If not, I at least found it helpful to clarify my own thoughts about the subject. It has helped me move closer to being at peace with the false accusations in my life.

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Realize the Real Meaning of Meeting Geshe-la

Kadampa Ryan Uncategorized

Shantideva makes this final prayer, so beautiful the way he ends this chapter on wisdom.

(9.166) May I be able to extinguish the fires of suffering
That torment all these beings,
With a vast rain of happiness
Descending from the clouds of my merit;

(9.167) And, through sincerely accumulating a collection of merit,
While endowed with the wisdom realizing non-true existence,
May I teach emptiness to all living beings
Who suffer because of their self-grasping.

I feel this is one of our greatest responsibilities now, to teach emptiness, to teach emptiness to others.  Geshe-la has said many times at the real meaning a meeting Geshe Kelsang is the opportunity to learn about emptiness.  First of all, we must gain and deepen our understanding.  I think it is our responsibility to gain a clear and precise understanding of emptiness through our study.  If we really do have compassion for others then we will take that responsibility to study emptiness, to gain a clear precise understanding and teach emptiness, understanding there is no other way to bring an end to suffering than gaining a deep, deep experience of emptiness.

If we gain this experience, we will be able to teach emptiness like no other actually.  We will be able to teach emptiness in a very simple way.  The person who has the greatest understanding can teach in the simplest way.  So we’ll be able to teach in a simple way, we’ll be able to teach in a very, very practical way, and importantly a clear unmistaken way.  We will do so in dependence upon this foundation that we are building upon our study of emptiness.  We are taking that responsibility.

At some point in the future, I hope to do a similar series of blog posts on chapter 6 of chandrakirti’s guide to the middle way, which is our definitive explanation of emptiness. We can generate the wish to study Ocean of Nectar and be able to study such reasoning in a lot more detail, line by line, either on our own or as part of a study program.  I would say between now and when we do finally study such texts, there’s a lot of preparation to do to gain this practical experience.  On the basis of that, the reasonings will make sense.  I think all of us need to prepare ourselves well.  As a preparation, we can study books like Heart of Wisdom.  We can study the chapter on emptiness which appears in Transform your Life, Eight Steps to Happiness, and Mahamudra Tantra.  This is most important, actually, for where we are. 

We need to learn to love our study, make it a game.  We need to be like a child at play, constantly contemplating Dharma, and sharing with our Dharma friends our latest discoveries.  For us, it should be fun.  We dig deep into the Dharma trying to understand what it means, we play with it and contemplate it, and jewels will emerge.  Then we should put our understanding into practice and gain some experience of this insight.   Then, it will lead to deeper insights and new understandings, and more amazing contemplations and study.

I would say we need to meditate on emptiness as much as possible.  Yes, this means we must spend time on our meditation cushion, trying to mix our mind with emptiness, gaining a clear understanding through our study, trying to identify more and more clearly the object emptiness, mixing our mind with emptiness.  But off the meditation cushion, too, we must try throughout the day to meditate on emptiness.  When we are working with others, keep meditating on emptiness.   

We should try to keep the advice of being on retreat at all times.  We can remember the illusion-like nature of things throughout the day.  If we are mindful, if we’re concentrating, then definitely we will accomplish great results, just as we would do if we were in actual retreat.  In this way, definitely we create the cause to go into retreat, strict retreat, at some time in the future, when hopefully our mind will completely mix with emptiness, and we will destroy all traces of our grasping.

I think what is most important is that we appreciate the opportunity that we have been given as members of a Dharma center and a Dharma community.  This is the best opportunity.   We should not think other people have a better opportunity than we do to gain experience in exchanging self with others, to gain experience in the wisdom realizing emptiness.  No one has a better opportunity than we do.  Remember, we are the people who have the responsibility of teaching emptiness to all living beings.  We have been given the greatest opportunity.

Venerable Geshe-la is giving us the opportunity to bring about both external and internal growth of the Dharma in this world.   We must be bringing about an internal as well as an external growth – both – with the one helping the other.  We must feel that we have the best opportunity to gain experience, deep experience, of exchanging self with others.  The best opportunity to gain experience, deep experience of emptiness, the best.  There is no reason why, in dependence upon the opportunity that we have been given, that we cannot come to possess ultimate Bodhichitta, even in our lifetime.  It is possible, definitely it is possible.

If we appreciate our opportunity, then we will enjoy having this opportunity, we will enjoy the responsibility that we have.  We would not have it any other way.  I think more and more over time we must feel that we do have the greatest opportunity and the responsibility that we have, we are so lucky, really, so lucky to have.  So we can enjoy, we can enjoy.  We must over time be enjoying ourselves more and more and more.  As far as spiritual growth is concerned, I have to say that we have the best conditions of all.  We can become teachers of emptiness.  We can become valid teachers just like Geshe-la.

Finally, we need to be patient with ourselves.   We should not expect anything, just have a patient mind, we need to be patient, especially with understanding texts like this, Ocean of Nectar, and so forth.  We are not going to gain a clear, precise understanding after a few weeks or months. It is going to take years, maybe even lifetimes.  So if we understand that, then we consider it our lifetime’s work to understand clearly precisely the meaning of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, Ocean of Nectar, and so forth.  We can be patient, we can enjoy creating the cause.  Everything will come naturally from that in time.

This concludes the ninth chapter of Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, entitled “The Perfection of Wisdom”.

A Pure Life: Abandoning Sexual Activity

Kadampa Ryan Precept Days

This is part seven of a 12-part series on how to skillfully train in the Eight Mahayana Precepts.  The 15th of every month is Precepts Day, when Kadampa practitioners around the world typically take and observe the Precepts.

The actual Mahayana precept we take on precepts days is to abandon all sexual activity. Ordained people take a vow to not engage in sexual activity with other people, in other words they have a vow of celibacy. I am not ordained and so therefore I am certainly not qualified to definitively interpret the vows of ordained people, but I have been told an ordained person’s vows do not prohibit masturbation, though doing so is considered to weaken the vows but not actually break them. In contrast, when we take the Mahayana precept to not engage in sexual activity, it does include not masturbating.

Many people misunderstand vows of celibacy and abandoning sexual activity as saying that there is something inherently wrong with sexual activity. They argue that sexual activity is entirely normal and healthy, and such vows are misguided and guilt-inducing, and therefore harmful. In truth, there is nothing wrong with sexual activity itself. But there is something wrong with the mind of sexual attachment. Attachment is a delusion that believes happiness comes from external objects. Sexual attachment is a specific form of attachment related to sexual activities. Engaging in sexual activities without attachment is not a problem, but engaging in sexual activities with sexual attachment is a problem.

The reason why we take a vow to abstain from sexual activity on precepts days is to force us to confront the tendencies of sexual attachment within our mind. Because we have taken a vow to not engage in such activity on this day, when the temptation arises to do so within our mind, we will see the power of our sexual attachment. It will actually be painful or difficult to not follow the impulses we are feeling. All sorts of rationalizations will arise as to why it is a good thing to follow our sexual attachment. When this occurs, we can then recall the disadvantages of the mind of attachment in general, and sexual attachment in particular, and we can contemplate the benefits of having a mind that is completely free from such attachment to strengthen the desire within our mind to become free of this extremely powerful delusion. The point of taking this precept is not to say sexual activity itself is bad, but rather to create the karmic habits of not being a puppet on the strings of our sexual attachment and to instead become free from it.

Driven by sexual attachment living beings engage in all sorts of negative actions, including killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying, divisive speech, and so forth. We also waste so much of our precious human life and our hard-earned resources in pursuit of satisfying our sexual attachment. Most of our most shameful behavior can be traced back to our sexual attachment. Much of the conflict we have with those we love comes from sexual attachment. This mind creates so much suffering in the world and within our own mind, yet we still continue to follow it believing happiness can be found in doing so.  Imagine how much easier our life would be if we were not a slave to our sexual attachment. These are the sorts of things we need to consider when the temptation to break our precept arises within our mind. Engaging in these contemplations gradually weakens the hold our sexual attachment has over us enabling us to become more free.

While on precepts days we vow to abstain from any sexual activity, every other day we should strive to abandon all forms of sexual misconduct.  The object of our sexual misconduct is if we have a vow of celibacy, it is any other person; if we are not celibate and we have a partner, it is anyone other than our partner; if we are not celibate and do not have a partner, it is anyone else’s partner, our own parent, a child, anyone with a vow of celibacy, pregnant women, animals, or anyone who does not consent.  As far as the intention is concerned, we must know that they are an object of sexual misconduct.  We must be determined to commit sexual misconduct.  And we must be motivated by delusion.  Usually, it is committed out of desirous attachment.  As far as the preparation is concerned, there are many ways to engage in this action but we already know all of those!  This action is complete when sexual bliss is experienced by means of the union of the two sex organs.  This last point on the action being completed sometimes gives rise to the question, “well then is it sexual misconduct if our sex organs do not come into union?”  The answer to this question is very simple:  if you think your partner would object, then it is not OK.  Full stop.

Please note, within Kadampa Buddhism, heterosexuality and homosexuality are treated in exactly the same way, there is no difference.  Please note, it also does not include masturbation.  Finally please note, this also doesn’t say it is wrong to engage in sexual activity for reasons other than procreation, it says nothing about anything wrong with birth control, etc., etc., etc. 

I have posted in the past why people engage in affairs (you can find it by doing a search of the archive).  The short version is we relate to our partner and to sexual activity in the same way we relate to any other object of attachment, like pizza.  The first few pieces are good, but the more we eat the less we enjoy it.  Other foods start to look more appealing, so we switch to eating something else.  This is the completely wrong understanding of sexual actions.  Sexual actions are opportunities to cherish others and give them happiness, not something we consume for ourselves.  We derive our enjoyment from loving others and making them happy.  Sexual activity is an opportunity to draw very close to somebody else and deepen a relationship.  If we do not get our attitude towards sexual activity correct, then even if it is not sexual misconduct, it is still not necessarily a good thing for us. 

It is not at all uncommon for one partner in a couple to have stronger sexual desire than the other, and this can be a source of frustration and a temptation to go elsewhere.  Aside from the fact that there are other means to relieve oneself, we should view these gaps in sexual desire as emanated by Dorje Shugden to give us an opportunity to bring our sexual attachment a bit more under control.  In this sense, it is a similitude of the ordination vows of celibacy.  We are essentially saying we will be celibate with everybody except our partner.  Bringing our sexual attachment under control is not easy, but it is still necessary.  Buddha said the three biggest chains holding us in samsara are sex, drugs and rock n’ roll (well, those weren’t his exact words, but the meaning was the same).  If we do not bring our sexual attachment under control, it will be very difficult to escape from samsara.  So from this perspective, the difference between an ordained person and a lay person in a committed relationship is not that different.  We have much we can learn from each other.

If we have strong sexual attachment, we can pursue a multi-prong strategy.  First, we should read Chapter 8 in Meaningful to Behold again and again to help us reduce our exaggerated notions of the attractiveness of another human body.  I love breasts, I will admit it, but if we check they are just bags of fat.  Second, as best we can, we should avoid things that fuel the fire, such as pornography, etc.  But the reality is sexual imagery is omni-present in our society, so there is no avoiding it.  But there is a difference between encountering it as we go about our life and seeking it out compulsively. 

Third, and this is the most important, we need to get to the point where we want to get out of samsara more than we want its pleasures.  We are desire realm beings, which means we have no choice but to pursue our desires.  If in our heart, our desire is still dominated by sexual attachment, if we try to force ourselves to avoid making contact, etc., then all we will do is just repress the desires.  They will build up, and eventually we will give in and do something we subsequently regret.  This is not Dharma practice.  Dharma practice is a very active process of picking apart and reducing our desirous attachment primarily by (1) reducing our exaggerated attitudes down to something in line with the underlying reality of what is actually there, and (2) considering the disadvantages of following the delusion. 

There are few delusions that create more problems for living beings than sexual attachment.  Just open any newspaper or consider your own life for more than 3 seconds and you will have plenty of material to work with.  At the same time, we need to consider the advantages of not following the delusion.  Every time a delusion arises but we choose to not follow it understanding it to be deceptive, we are engaging in the practice of moral discipline.  Each action of moral discipline creates the cause for a higher rebirth.  So quite literally, if in a given 5-minute period we successfully see through the lies of our sexual attachment and not follow it, say 20 times, then we just created 20 causes for 20 future higher rebirths.  What will bring more happiness, five minutes of some porn video or an entire lifetime in the upper realms?  Are we ready to sacrifice one for the other?  If so, which one will we sacrifice?  If we value the happiness of our future lives as much as we value our present happiness (the definition of a spiritual being) then the choice becomes obvious. 

There is much more that can be said, but I will stop here. 

Modern Bodhisattva’s Way of Life: Bring an End to the World of Suffering

Kadampa Ryan 2. Modern Bodhisattva's Way of Life

(9.163) Oh, surely we must feel compassion for all these poor beings
Who are swept along in these vast rivers of suffering,
For, although they suffer in the extreme,
They do not recognize their suffering state.

(9.164) For example, some ascetics repeatedly wash in freezing water
And burn themselves with fire again and again;
And, although they experience great suffering,
They proudly maintain that they are happy!

(9.165) In the same way, those who live their lives
As if they were not going to be struck by sufferings such as ageing and death,
Will experience horrendous suffering at the hands of the Lord of Death
And then be cast into the unbearable torments of the lower realms.

People need our help, don’t they?  They really do need our help to show them where they are going wrong.  Crazy things people do for their freedom and happiness. They create the cause for more and more suffering and unhappiness.  So we have to show them where they’re going wrong.  They are powerless, helpless.

To do this, we have to first of all see where we are going wrong.  Otherwise, we will their wrong things are correct.  We suffer but maintain that we are happy.  Perhaps we feel ourselves that our life is bearable.  If we did not, I’m sure we would try end it by meditating on emptiness all the time.  We would say we hate this life of suffering.  So perhaps for us our life is a generally happy one, it is a bearable one.  But this will not last.

The fact is that our life at some time will become utterly unbearable.  In this lifetime, things will become unbearable.  We have giant tsunamis of sickness, ageing, and death bearing down on us.  If we do not do anything to get out, in our next life or in lives to come we will experience such immense suffering that we will be overwhelmed by it.  It is enough to just look at how it is for most other people.  They are a preview of what is to come for us if we remain in samsara.  We should not look at just this world, but think of other worlds as well, like the hells.  Even in this world, suffering for the vast majority is unbearable, isn’t it?  Most people in this world I would say are overwhelmed by suffering, mentally and physically.

But unfortunately for all of these beings they do not know how to end their suffering.  They just do not know.  They have no method.  Everything they do seems to just make the problems worse.  In this world alone, fears, dangers, and suffering are all increasing.  People are really helpless.

How can we bring an end to this world of suffering?  How can we bring an end to all worlds of suffering?  By meditating on emptiness.  There is no other way.  We need to deepen our conviction, don’t we?  We can bring an end to the world of suffering only by meditating on emptiness.  If we are not convinced ourselves, how on earth are we going to convince others, so they meditate on emptiness to bring an end to their world of suffering?   We must both deepen our conviction, and follow, follow our convictions.

Our belief must grow into a passionate belief, so we live by it.  Importantly, we need to be seen to live by it, not in a fake way, in an authentic way, because only that will inspire others to do the same.  We are passionate about our belief or beliefs, and of course naturally we live by our beliefs and others see that we do so.  Wanting to realize emptiness needs to be our most passionate wish, becoming the wish that other people too develop that same belief, and live by that belief.  Our most passionate wish is that others strive to realize emptiness.