Happy Buddha’s Enlightenment Day: We can do it too

Kadampa Ryan 7. Kadampa meaning of special days , , , ,

Happy Buddha’s Enlightenment Day everyone!  April 15th of every year we celebrate and remember Buddha’s enlightenment.  It is one of the most special days on the Kadampa calendar and provides us an excellent opportunity to deepen our understanding of what enlightenment is, recall Buddha’s kindness in attaining it, and make a clear determination to attain enlightenment ourselves.

Understanding How Holy Days Work

There are certain days of the year that are karmically more powerful than others, and the karmic effect of our actions on these days is multiplied by a factor of ten million!  These are called “ten million multiplying days.”  In practice, what this means is every action we engage in on these special days is karmically equivalent to us engaging in that same action ten million times.  This is true for both our virtuous and non-virtuous actions, so not only is it a particularly incredible opportunity for creating vast merit, but it is also an extremely dangerous time for engaging in negative actions.  There are four of these days every year:  Buddha’s Englightenment Day (April 15), Turning the Wheel of Dharma Day (June 4), Buddha’s Return from Heaven Day (September 22), and Je Tsongkhapa Day (October 25).  Heruka and Vajrayogini Month (January 3-31), NKT Day (1st Saturday of April), and International Temple’s Day (first Saturday of November) are the other major Days that complete the Kadampa calendar. 

A question may arise, why are the karmic effect of our actions greater on certain days than others?  We can think of these days as a spiritual pulsar that at periodic intervals sends out an incredibly powerful burst of spiritual energy, or wind.  On such days, if we lift the sails of our practice, these gushes of spiritual winds push us a great spiritual distance.  Why are these specific days so powerful?  Because in the past on these days particularly spiritually significant events occurred which altered the fundamental trajectory of the karma of the people of this world.  Just as calling out in a valley reverberates back to us, so too these days are like the karmic echoes of those past events.  Another way of understanding this is by considering the different types of ocean tides.  Normally, high and low tide on any given day occurs due to the gravity of the moon pulling water towards it as the earth rotates.  But a “Spring tide” occurs when the earth, moon, and Sun are all in alignment, pulling the water not just towards the moon as normal, but also towards the much more massive sun.  Our holy days are like spiritual Spring tides.

What is Enlightenment?

Fundamentally, the entire Buddhist path is about attaining enlightenment.  This is a word that is used in many different contexts, even in modern society, but sometimes we lack a clear understanding of what exactly it means.  Geshe-la provides several different definitions or explanations to help us understand.

According to Sutra, Geshe-la explains in Joyful Path, “any being who has become completely free from the two obstructions, which are the roots of all faults, has attained enlightenment.”  The two obstructions are the delusion obstructions and the obstructions to omniscience.  Delusion obstructions are the presence of delusions in our mind.  At a technical level, their main cause is the karmic tendencies similar to the cause created by our own past mental actions of delusions. When a deluded tendency ripens in our mind, say thinking that external things are causes of our happiness or attachment, and we assent to that tendency, we create the new mental action of generating a delusion. If a deluded tendency ripens and instead of assenting to it, we realize it is deceptive and we apply opponents or antidotes – or even simply choose to not follow it and let it return back to our root mind like clouds dissolving back into the sky – we are training in the moral discipline of restraint and creating the karmic causes for a higher spiritual rebirth (another precious human life, reaching the pure land, attaining liberation, or even attaining enlightenment).

The root delusion is self-grasping ignorance, which thinks we are the body and mind that we normally see.  From this comes self-cherishing, which thinks this self is supremely important and is willing to neglect or sacrifice others for its sake.  From these two, which are sometimes referred to collectively as our self-centered mind, come attachment and aversion.  Attachment mistakenly thinks some external objects are a cause of our happiness and aversion thinks other external objects are a cause of our suffering.  These four delusions together are the root of all of our other delusions, such as anger, pride, jealousy, deluded doubt, and so forth.  The obstructions to omniscience are the karmic imprints from our previous delusions and their corresponding actions.  Every time we engage in an action, it creates karma that gets planted on our very subtle mind.  Actions motivated by delusion create contaminated karma – karma that ripens in the form of samsaric experience.  These contaminated karmic imprints on our very subtle mind prevent the omniscient mind of a Buddha from arising.  When we remove the two obstructions from our mind, our pure potential, or Buddha nature, becomes completely unobstructed and we become a Buddha.  From this perspective, we are all Buddhas in waiting, we merely need to remove all that obstructs such a state from arising.  When we permanently overcome our delusion obstructions, we attain liberation; and when we permanently overcome our obstructions to omniscience, we attain full enlightenment.

According to Tantra, a Buddha is someone who has completely overcome ordinary appearances and ordinary conceptions.  Ordinary appearances are all of the things we normally see – our bodies, minds, enjoyments, others, worlds, etc.  These are the samsaric appearances that arise from our past contaminated actions.  Samsara is nothing more than a contaminated karmic dream.  When we purify our ordinary appearances so that they never arise again, samsara simply ceases to appear.  It dis-appears because, in fact, it never was.  Ordinary conceptions occur when we grasp at ordinary appearances as being true.  All ordinary appearances appear to exist from their own side, as being completely real and existing independently of our mind.  Things exist “out there” waiting to be experienced or observed, and it appears to us as if our mind has absolutely nothing to do with bringing these objects into existence.  Ordinary conceptions think things actually exist in the way that they appear – they really do exist out there, independently of our mind.  When we overcome our ordinary conceptions, we attain liberation; and when we overcome our ordinary appearances, we attain full enlightenment.  For somebody who has overcome their ordinary conceptions but not yet overcome their ordinary appearances, things will still appear to their mind in the way that they normally do, but the very appearance of these things will remind the person that such inherently existent things do not exist at all.  For example, if we look at a picture of the New York City skyline before 9/11, the very appearance of the World Trade Center will remind us that it no longer exists.

In the Oral Instructions of Mahamudra, Geshe-la provides a functional definition of enlightenment when he says, “Enlightenment is the inner light of wisdom that is permanently free from all mistaken appearance, and whose function is to bestow mental peace upon each and every living being every day.”  This definition not only explains what enlightenment is but also provides us with the definitive reason why we should attain it.  Since Mahamudra is a Tantric instruction, it too says enlightenment is permanent freedom from all mistaken appearance.  But this definition also describes what unique abilities we gain when we attain enlightenment, namely the ability to use our blessings to bestow mental peace upon each and every living being every day – forever.  Happiness is a state of mind, therefore its cause must come from within the mind.  We can observe from our own experience that when our mind is peaceful, we are happy even if our external circumstance is terrible; whereas if our mind is not peaceful, we are unhappy even if our external circumstance is terrific.  Therefore, inner peace is the cause of happiness.  Buddhas are sometimes referred to as “inner beings,” or beings who live within the mind.  As inner beings, they have the power to directly touch the minds of other living beings (since despite all appearances our minds are not actually separate from each other) in such a way that their minds become more peaceful.  And they are able to do this directly to each and every living being every day forever.  Just as the sun shines equally upon all things, Buddha’s blessings shine forth into the minds of all living beings directly and simultaneously.  We attain enlightenment to gain that ability.

Buddha is So Kind Because He Teaches the Truth of Suffering

One of the hardest things for people to come to accept is that happiness cannot be found in samsara.  We are convinced that it can be, and we resist thinking that it can’t be.  There are two main causes of this resistance.  First, our attachment has been duping us since time without beginning that external objects are a cause of our happiness.  There are all sorts of pleasant things like a beautiful sunset, a delicious pizza, or great sex.  We have seen countless (American) TV shows or movies, and almost without exception, they all have happy endings; so we think samsara must be the same.  When we hear that samsara is the nature of suffering and happiness and freedom are impossible to find in it, we think, “that’s just not true.”  The second reason we resist this is it seems to be an incredibly depressing thought.  It seems so pessimistic and negative to always talk about suffering and how terrible everything is – how about a little optimism here so we can retain some hope?  Things may be bad, but better to not think about it too much, otherwise, we will become overwhelmed by sadness and despair. 

When people first hear the teachings on suffering they think, “how can this possibly be a ‘Joyful Path,’ and how can thinking about so much suffering ever lead to happiness?”  We might think Buddhists are all “Debby Downers,” and Buddha’s teachings are actually preventing us from enjoying even the very modest happiness we are able to find in life by pointing out how such pleasures are not real happiness.  So we are left with nothing.  Buddha does not seem kind, he seems like the ultimate ‘buzz kill.’ 

How can we happily understand the teachings on the truth of suffering?  First, we have to be clear on their meaning.  Buddha is not saying there is no happiness, he is simply pointing out that we can’t find it in external things.  Ultimately, happiness comes from within the mind, namely through inner peace.  He further explains what destroys inner peace (delusions and negativity) and what causes inner peace (wisdom and virtue).  So he does not deprive us of happiness, he simply points out what works and what doesn’t – very useful knowledge!  Second, these teachings save us from wasting our time looking for happiness where we will never find it.  If we lost our keys, we might spend hours and hours looking all over our house to find them.  But if our daughter sent us a text message saying she accidentally walked off with them, we would not waste our time looking for them because we would know she has them.  We have been looking for the keys of happiness in samsara since beginningless time – searching, searching, but never finding.  Buddha comes along and tells us, “you’ll never find them in samsara, but you can find them by putting my instructions into practice,” we are incredibly relieved.  Third, he is not saying we can’t enjoy the sunset, pizza, or sex, he is saying from their own side they have no power to bring us happiness, but if we relate to them in a pure way, we can come to enjoy a far greater pleasure than we ever could have through ordinary means alone. 

But for me, his greatest kindness is he has provided us with a permanent solution to aging, sickness, death, and uncontrolled rebirth.  In the life story of Buddha Shakyamuni, Prince Siddhartha is given everything he could possibly want – riches, enjoyments, loving parents, a beautiful family, and adoration from all of his subjects.  Yet he realized that none of these things can protect him (or any of us) from the seemingly inescapable sufferings of birth, aging, sickness, and death.  Seeking a solution, he wanted to leave the palace and go attain enlightenment.  His father tried to stop him, and the Prince said, “if you can provide me with a solution to these problems, I will remain in the palace,” but his father had to admit, he could not.  The Prince then said he would leave the palace and return with a solution so that he could help his parents, his family, his subjects, and indeed all living beings with a permanent method to escape such sufferings forever.  He then began his spiritual journey, and eventually attained enlightenment under the Bodhi tree.  He conquered the cycle of death itself.  Instead of being reborn in samsara, he discovered methods to permanently wake up from it into the pure lands of the Buddhas.  The practices we have today are those that he taught, and if we sincerely put them into practice, we too can attain the same state.

Deciding to Become a Buddha Ourselves

Compassion is said to be the mother of all Buddhas since all enlightened beings are born from it.  Buddha attained enlightenment out of compassion for us – he wanted to help us also permanently escape the sufferings of samsara, the two obstructions, and ordinary appearances and conceptions.  Without his compassion for us, he would not have been able to purify his own mind to attain enlightenment and he never would have begun turning the Wheel of Dharma for us. 

But our ability to attain enlightenment depends upon ourselves generating compassion for others, just as Buddha did.  How do we generate compassion?  We first generate love for others, then we consider how they suffer.  It is said if we do this, compassion will naturally arise, but this is not entirely correct.  If we lack faith in a solution, then when we consider the suffering of those we love we will become overwhelmed with grief and sadness.  But if we realize there is a solution, then when we consider the suffering of those we love we will find their suffering difficult to bear because we will realize none of it need be.  They could be completely free. 

To transform this powerful mind of compassion into the personal determination to attain enlightenment ourselves, we need to add three things.  First, a feeling of personal responsibility for leading others to everlasting freedom ourselves.  We generate this mind by thinking, “if I don’t do it, who will?”  We might think, “well, Buddha will.”  But Buddha attained enlightenment so that we could do the same so that we could help these people who are karmically close to us. 

Second, we need to add confidence that we ourselves can attain enlightenment just like Buddha did.  Sometimes we think attaining enlightenment is just too difficult and we are too incapable to ever even contemplate beginning such an undertaking.  But as explained above, we all have a Buddha nature, we simply need to remove the two obstructions or ordinary appearances and conceptions from our mind, and our enlightened state will naturally be unveiled.  We each have enlightenment within us, we just need to remove all that obstructs it.  Further, we all have experience of being able to remove our faults somewhat and replace them with similitudes of inner qualities.  If we can do this a little bit, there is no reason why we cannot do so completely.  The methods we have are the exact same ones Buddha taught and have been practiced by millions of practitioners since.  Geshe-la calls them “scientific methods,” meaning everybody who investigates for themselves by sincerely putting the instructions into practice will likewise enjoy the exact same results – he guarantees it!  There is nothing we can’t do without persistent effort.  Our delusions are just bad habits of mind, but with effort, we can change our habits and thereby change our karma. 

Finally, we need to add an understanding of the special abilities of a Buddha to help others so that we see our becoming one is the only way we can rescue all living beings from their suffering.  Buddhas are fearless in helping others.  We tend to hold ourselves back for fear of what others might think or lack of confidence in our abilities, but Buddhas have overcome all delusions and all fear.  He fearlessly teaches the truth of suffering and worries not what others might think.  Buddha is also a deathless being.  In our present state, we can at best help a limited number of people in this one life, but a Buddha has transcended death, and so is able to continue to help living beings in life after life, gradually guiding each and every one of them to the enlightened state.  Buddha possesses omniscient wisdom.  We are quite ignorant and often have no idea how to help others.  We don’t understand karma, delusions, nor the causes of happiness or suffering.  But Buddhas see all three times directly and simultaneously, so they know exactly why people are experiencing the suffering they are and they know exactly what others need to do to make their way to the city of enlightenment.  Buddhas also have perfected their skillful means of helping others.  It is not enough to simply know everything if we are not able to actually skillfully help people come to realize the same things.  Buddhas know how to present the Dharma to others in a way that they can easily understand and practically put into practice, thus opening the door to liberation for them.  They know how to gradually guide people to enter, progress along, and ultimately complete the path to enlightenment.  If we become a Buddha ourselves, we too will develop the fearlessness, deathlessness, omniscient wisdom, and skillful means necessary to gradually lead everyone we love to the same state. 

When we combine our compassion which cannot bear the suffering of others with a feeling of personal responsibility, the confidence we can do it, and a firm understanding of the many qualities of a Buddha, we will naturally develop a strong determination to attain enlightenment ourselves for their sake.  This mind is called “bodhichitta,” or the mind of enlightenment.  It is the most virtuous mind a living being can generate.  In Joyful Path, Geshe-la says:

“Bodhichitta is the best method for bestowing happiness, the best method for eliminating suffering, and the best method for dispelling confusion. There is no virtue equal to it, no better friend, no greater merit. Bodhichitta is the very essence of all eighty-four thousand instructions of Buddha. In Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life Shantideva says: It is the quintessential butter that arises when the milk of Dharma is churned. Just as by stirring milk, butter emerges as its essence, so by stirring the entire collection of Buddha’s scriptures, bodhichitta emerges as its essence. For aeons Buddhas have been investigating what is the most beneficial thing for us. They have seen that it is bodhichitta because bodhichitta brings every living being to the supreme bliss of full enlightenment.”

Today is Buddha’s Enlightenment Day, which means if we strongly develop this supreme mind of Bodhichitta today – making the firm decision to work for as long as it takes to attain enlightenment ourselves – it will be the same as doing so ten million times.  Such a pure mind has the potential to permanently redirect the trajectory of our mental continuum and powerfully propel us towards the City of Enlightenment.  From there, we will be able to help everyone attain permanent freedom from all of their suffering for all of their lives.  What could be more meaningful than this?

A Pure Life: How to take the Eight Mahayana Precepts

Kadampa Ryan Precept Days

This is part four of a 12-part series on how to skillfully train in the Eight Mahayana Precepts.  The 15th of every month is Precepts Day, when Kadampa practitioners around the world typically take and observe the Precepts.

In this post I will explain how to actually take the Eight Mahayana Precepts using the sadhana called A Pure Life.  If we have not yet received the Eight Mahayana Precepts, we first need to receive them directly from a preceptor. Once we have done so, we can take them again on our own anytime we wish. Typically, Kadampa practitioners around the world retake the Eight Mahayana Precepts the 15th of every month. This is not that difficult to do nor is it a particularly onerous moral commitment. But through training gradually month after month, year after year, eventually our behavior begins to change, and we naturally start to live a pure life.

How do we receive them directly from a preceptor? The easiest way of doing so is to request the resident teacher at the closest Kadampa center to us to grant them. Since most Kadampa centers engage in this practice once a month, it should be very easy for them to grant you the precepts formally. If we are unable to make it to a Kadampa center to take the precepts, it might also be possible to do so online through zoom or a similar service. I would recommend simply asking if this is possible. I imagine if your intention is sincere, your closest resident teacher will find a way to make it happen.

The way of taking the precepts for the first time and the way of retaking them every month is almost identical.  We typically take the precepts at dawn. But if this is not possible, it is OK to take them first thing in the morning. Again, we should not let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

When it comes time to take the precepts, we should first recall that we have accumulated a nearly infinite amount of negative karma associated with violating the eight precepts. This karma remains on our mind, and if we do not purify it, we will eventually suffer its bitter consequence. One of the most effective methods for purifying our past transgression of the eight precepts is by retaking them. When we do so, we can purify all of our past transgressions and renew afresh the commitments upon our mind.

We then should imagine that our spiritual guide in the aspect of Buddha Shakyamuni appears clearly in the space in front of us. He is delighted that we have decided to engage in the precepts practice. When we actually take the precepts, we are not promising our spiritual guide that we will keep them, rather we are promising to ourselves that we will keep this moral discipline and our spiritual guide in the space in front of us is a witness to our commitment. He is honored to be such a witness.  With this mind fearing the karmic consequences of our past negative behavior, strong faith in the value of moral discipline practice, and remembering our spiritual guide as a witness, we can then engage in the refuge prayers of the sadhana while contemplating deeply upon their meaning.

Once we have done so, we can then recall our bodhichitta motivation for engaging in the practice of the Eight Mahayana Precepts.  How our practice of the precepts helps us attain enlightenment was explained in the previous post of this series. The short version is to attain enlightenment we need to purify our very subtle mind of the two obstructions.  To do that, we need to realize the emptiness of our very subtle mind, which requires a powerful mind of concentration. The mind of concentration in turn depends upon the practice of moral discipline. Moral discipline is a special wisdom that recognizes delusions and negative behavior are deceptive and is therefore not tempted by them. This wisdom then enables our concentration to be stronger, which then strengthens our meditation on emptiness, enabling us to purify our very subtle mind. Recalling this, we then recite the bodhichitta prayers.

We then purify our environment, arrange beautiful offerings, invite the field for accumulating merit, and engage in the practice of the prayer of the seven limbs and the mandala as outlined in the sadhana. We have all received commentary to these practices many times. What is unique in this context is we should recall and connect all of these trainings into the broader specific narrative of us retaking the Eight Mahayana Precepts.

After we offer the mandala, we then stand and make three prostrations to the visualized field of merit. We then kneel with our right knee on the floor and place our palms together at our heart. If we have bad knees and it is too painful to actually kneel while taking the precepts, we can simply do so seated in whatever physical posture is comfortable while mentally imagining that we are kneeling in front of our spiritual guide. We then once again recall our bodhichitta motivation for taking the Mahayana precepts. In the sadhana, in the italics, Geshe-la provides a contemplation we can engage in. What matters is we generate a qualified and personal bodhicitta motivation for taking the precepts.

If we are taking the precepts in front of a preceptor, we then recite three time the line “O preceptor, please listen to me.” But if we are taking them on our own, we can recite three times, “All buddhas who abide in the ten directions, and all bodhisattvas, please listen to me.”  Once we have completed this request, we then repeat the statement outlined in the sadana. The essential meaning of this statement is just as all the previous holy beings gained the ability to help all living beings through practicing the Eight Mahayana Precepts, so too will we now take the precepts and practice them throughout the day.

We then recite the prayer of the precepts by following the words in the sadhana. As we do so, We should mentally make the firm personal promise that we will observe these precepts for the next 24 hours.  After reciting the precept prayer, we then recite the mantra of pure moral discipline seven, twenty-one, or as many times as we wish strongly believing that we are requesting the wisdom blessings necessary to joyfully engage in the practice of moral discipline in general, and the Eight Mahayana Precepts in particular. It is a good idea to memorize this mantra and use it anytime we feel tempted to break some moral discipline we have taken on. If we recite this mantra with faith, we will receive powerful wisdom blessings which cut the power of our delusions tempting us to break our moral discipline. Again, the practice of moral discipline is not one of willpower but rather having the wisdom to no longer want to engage in negativity and to no longer want to follow our delusions. After reciting the mantra, we can then engage in the prayer of moral discipline and dedication.

Our practice after taking the precepts is to then observe them throughout the day. As we do so, we should recall again and again the dangers of not following them and the advantages of following them. Through training and familiarizing our mind with this wisdom, we will gradually loosen the hold of our delusions over our behavior. We will build up strength within our mind to not want to engage in impure behavior. This wisdom and these mental habits will help us engage in pure behavior not just on precepts day but throughout the month, and indeed throughout our life.

Sometimes, it will not be possible for us to actually engage in the sadhana A Pure Life on precepts day. If this is the case, it is enough for us to recall our bodhichitta motivation for wanting to keep the precepts, to then mentally make a promise to observe them throughout the day, and then recite the mantra of pure moral discipline strongly believing that we have renewed our precepts. Then we practice throughout the day in exactly the same way. Ideally, we would engage in this sadhana on the 15th of every month. But again, if this proves too difficult, it is better to do this short version of taking the precepts then not doing so at all. The danger, though, is we just engage in the short method and never fully engage in the whole sadhana. Our practice of the Eight Mahayana Precepts then becomes rather superficial, and the transformative effects on our mind are limited. Therefore, we should try our honest best to engage in this practice as Geshe-la presents it.

Ten Step Strategy for Dealing with Disrespect:

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden , , , ,

Sometimes people act in disrespectful ways towards us, perhaps it is even the habitual dynamic in our relationship. What should we do?

We don’t help people by letting them disrespect us since they accumulate all sorts of negative karma in the process. But we also don’t help people by having no relationship with them, so we can’t just go around ending completely all relationships if there is the slightest disrespect. So what is the middle way here? What follows are ten steps we can try to navigate a middle way that works for us and our situation.

I would say the first thing we have to do is admit that yes, they are acting in disrespectful ways towards us. Sometimes we rationalize away other’s bad behavior or we believe their gaslighting of us. No, we need to call a spade a spade. Conventionally, we need to be exactly as normal.

Second, we should check within ourselves why we allow others to treat us that way? Perhaps there is some attachment we have to what they provide us that keeps us around and we are afraid if we say something we will lose that thing. Or perhaps we have deep-seated self-hatred and we think we deserve such behavior. Or perhaps we have a savior or martyr complex thinking if we stick around or cooperate with their behavior, we can get them to change for the better. Or perhaps we just have a misunderstanding of what it means to cherish others with wisdom. There are all sorts of possible explanations, we need to find out what is actually going on in our mind.

Third, we need to have an have an honest conversation with ourself about whether we have the capacity to stick around or whether in fact it is destroying us in the process. Self-sacrifice is not cherishing others. Usually there are many shades of gray with this one, where we do have the capacity to transform X, but not really Y; or we can handle it for a certain period of time, but after that we start to lose our cool. This step is essential for being able to establish healthy boundaries. First and foremost, we must establish boundaries that honestly accept our present capacity. If the situation pushes us beyond our capacity and we are going to start engaging in all sorts of hurtful, negative, or angry actions (or we reach a point where we can’t hold back our attachments), then we owe it to both ourselves and to the other person to disengage so we can stay in a zone where we can keep it together.

Fourth, for the things that are within our capacity to transform, we need to do the inner Dharma work of dismantling the attachments, anger, doubts, lack of self-confidence, unwise compassion, jealousy, or whatever other delusions are allowing the other person to disrespect us. Once we have worked through those, we will be in a position to have a conversation with the other person about the disrespectful behavior pattern that exists in our relationship.

Fifth, when we approach the other person, we should try use as skillful means as we possibly can. The books on non-violent communication have a ton of excellent tips for how to do this. VGL once said when it comes to skillful means, there is no fault in learning from non-Dharma sources. Dharma doesn’t teach us how to do accounting, computer coding, or building temples – but it can help us do all those things better. Same with listening well, being a coach, engaging in skillful communication, etc. VGL once taught that we can go to the other person and say something to the effect of, “when you do X, I experience it as Y; but perhaps I am misunderstanding. Can you please clarify your perspective on this.” Then try have a constructive conversation. You can – and most often should – have very clear asks of them. I ask you to please not disrespect me in this way, or going forward can you please do Z instead. Both we and they need to know what specifically is a different way forward. Just saying “don’t do X” isn’t enough if they don’t know what they should do instead.

Sixth, if despite your best efforts (both in terms of pure motivation and skillful means), the person refuses to change, then you need to ask yourself, “how big of a deal is this?” Perhaps it is something huge like abusive behavior where the person is creating terrible karma for themselves and you sticking around is like a cancer eating away at your sense of self-worth and self-respect. Or perhaps it is really not a big deal and certainly not worth blowing your relationship up over, and better to just let it slide. Request wisdom to know the difference.

Seventh, if it is a big deal and the other person refuses to change their behavior, then it’s time for boundaries again, but you need to give them a warning. You say something to the effect of, “If X behavior continues, then I will have to disengage from you in Y way.” Sometimes you don’t even need to say anything, you can just do it and hope they get the cue. Try make Y specifically proportional to the offending behavior. No point throwing out the entire baby with a little bit of dirty bathwater. For example, if you are not able to continue to have this conversation in person, then we will have to do it in writing. Or if you insist that I join you in X negative action when we are together, then I will no longer hang out with you in that way. There are countless different variants of this depending upon our individual circumstances, the point is “right size” your disengagement from them to the specific disrespect. We don’t want to end the relationship (we have a bodhichitta commitment to them, after all), but we do want to end their ability to continue to disrespect us in that way. Remember, healthy boundaries are not about telling other people what they can or can’t do – they are in charge of that. Rather, they are about what WE will do based upon what is happening. We are not trying to control others, but we do not have to apologize for controlling and protecting ourself.

Eighth, sometimes we will need to repeat our warning a few times before it registers, so it’s usually a good idea to “give them one last chance,” but if it continues, you need to decisively execute on your boundary. Sometimes we don’t even need to say anything, we can just leave the room, hang up, end the communication, not return their call, stop sending them money they are misusing, whatever. If they ask, we can explain that we told them this is what we were going to do, so we need to follow through with our actions, otherwise our boundaries mean nothing and they won’t credibly take our warnings in the future.

Ninth, we need to hold the line no matter the backlash. There is a very real risk that they will try every trick in their book to get us to go back to how things were. Perhaps they get flaming pissed, perhaps they get all nice (“I’ll change honey, I promise,” when we know as soon as we take them back, they will fall right back into their old patterns), perhaps they start threatening all the things we were afraid of losing, perhaps they try guilt trip us. Perhaps they try all of them in rapid succession. All these tactics have worked in the past, so why wouldn’t they try them again? But this time, we accept them all as purification, adjusting our boundaries in real time as necessary showing that we will not cooperate with these attempts at emotional blackmail either. Sometimes these cycles can escalate very quickly and it get really bad. Hold. The. Line. If you cave when the pressure gets too strong, you just guarantee that next time you try draw a line, they will escalate to that point and beyond. But if you show that they can throw everything they have at you and you do not budge, but rather you just get further and further out of the way so they cannot harm you, at some point they will give up trying. You will have broken the cycle. They will continue to try several more times in other contexts in the future, but because you saw it through once, they will know it won’t work in the future, and they will try less and less until they give up. This ninth step is often the hardest because it is where we are forced to directly confront the delusions within our mind that enabled others to disrespect us in the first place (that we identified in step two above).

Lastly, as the situation de-escalates and they realize we are serious, we make an attempt to preserve what remains of our relationship that was not unhealthy, harmful, toxic, disrespectful, or bad in some way. Sometimes this will mean relaxing some of the additional boundaries we put in place in real time during the escalation phase above. Perhaps they will accept a new equilibrium or perhaps they are incapable of doing so. If they can, great; if they can’t, then so be it. We give them the choice to continue in these healthy ways, but we will not continue in these unhealthy ways. They then decide what they want – either directly decide or their continued harmful behavior decides for them. Either way, we accept their choice.

None of this is easy, but all of it is good for our practice. Of course we should request Dorje Shugden to arrange whatever is best, we should bring Guru Sumati Buddha Heruka into our heart and ask that he work through us, we should request wisdom blessings to know what to do, we should talk to friends who give us good advice, we should try maintain pure view, and all the rest. We should use every Dharma tool we have throughout all ten of these steps.

Living beings are precious, including disrespectful ones, because they give us a chance to learn how to actually use the Dharma to dismantle the delusions in our mind – including those that cause us to let others mistreat us or to stick around when it is time to go. We will carry these realizations with us for the rest of this life and all our future lives. They are more valuable than a universe filled with wish granting jewels. In short, going through all this may suck, but it is totally worth it.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Reply to others and accept invitations 

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Not replying to others

If someone greets us in a friendly and courteous manner, and without a good reason, we give no reply we incur a secondary downfall.  This also advises us to try make others’ minds happy by giving them answers and advice.

Why do we need to do this?  The answer is obvious.  When we say hi to somebody and they ignore us, how do we feel?  What do we think about the other person?  We don’t want to make others feel this way.  While of course the minimum is to return the basic level of cultural politeness, as Bodhisattvas, we need to go one step further – we need to be genuinely delighted to see the other person.

It suffices to watch 5 year olds on a playground to know and appreciate the difference.  When they see one of their friends, their faces light up with delight.  This then makes the friend likewise light up and everyone is very happy.  How good does it make us feel when we haven’t seen somebody we really like in a long time and when we see them they are really happy to see us – their face lights up like a child on a playground.  It makes us feel warm and loved inside.  This is how we need to make others feel with our own reaction to seeing them.  The sun warms all around, and in the same way the Bodhisattva warms the heart of all around with their delight at seeing people.

Now of course we can’t be over the top with this and act in conventionally strange ways.  We need to calibrate the intensity of our outward expression of delight to not go outside normal cultural conventions or to make the other person feel uncomfortable, but we should be like the sun. 

Not accepting invitations. 

If someone with a good motivation invites us to do something and without a good reason we decline merely out of pride, laziness, or anger, we incur a secondary downfall.  Valid reasons for declining are we are sick, do not have the time, it would make others unhappy, or it would be a danger to our Dharma practice.

To be honest, I have struggled with this one over the years.  I usually want to do my own thing.  I have my own plans and my own projects, and I work so hard both at work and at home that I frankly don’t usually want to go over to friend’s houses, etc.  I would just as soon stay at home and relax.  I also generally am not too fond of the normal banter and chit chat of social gatherings, finding it to be largely meaningless and a waste of time.  There have been many times when I have received invitations and my own selfish instinct is to say I am busy and I can’t go, but then I remember this vow and force myself to go. 

When I go, I am forced to confront all sorts of delusions in my mind.  First, I must overcome the selfishness of not being able to do what I want to do.  Second, I must learn to overcome my tendency to just sit in the corner and not engage with anybody else, but instead to go out and connect with people.  Third, I have to get over my Dharma snobbery thinking everything others have to say is meaningless.  What nonsense!  Everyone is a living being with a story.  Everyone has their troubles and their wisdoms.  Each new person is really like a nicely wrapped Christmas present and you don’t know what you will find inside until you ask them about their lives, being interested in who they are, etc.  Everyone has a lifetime worth of acquired wisdom and they are usually happy to share it with me if only I bother to ask and learn.  Fourth, one of the most important skills of a Bodhisattva is the ability to actively listen to others.  Gen Tharchin is the master at this.  There have been many meetings I have had with him where, in the end, he said almost nothing – but the way he listened itself answered all my questions for me as I told my story, etc. 

Professionally, I am a diplomat, so a big part of my job is – frankly – making friends with other people.  It is not just making friends for the sake of making friends, but finding out what everyone is doing and seeing if there are opportunities to collaborate on common projects, etc.  Sometimes I will encounter people who are vehemently opposed to something the U.S. government is doing or even people who are spying on me trying to figure things out.  Each person I meet is like a mirror revealing to me some weakness in myself, and by learning to get along with the person I have the opportunity to correct for that weakness.  It is only by breaking out of our safe cocoon and accepting the invitations we receive that we can do so.  You never know who you will meet or where that encounter may lead!

That being said, there is also nothing wrong with us choosing to stay in and not go out if we need to rest and recharge our batteries.  This vow should not drive us to burnout and it needs to be practiced in the context of maintaining our overall health, energy, and capacity.  Whether we go or don’t go isn’t as important as making whatever choices we do make with wisdom.

Happy Tsog Day: Visualizing the Field of Merit

Kadampa Ryan Tsog Days

In order to remember and mark our tsog days, holy days on the Kadampa calendar, I am sharing my understanding of the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide with tsog.  This is part 5 of a 44-part series.

Within the vast space of indivisible bliss and emptiness, amidst billowing clouds of Samantabhadra’s offerings, fully adorned with leaves, flowers, and fruits, is a wishfulfilling tree that grants whatever is wished for. At its crest, on a lion throne ablaze with jewels, on a lotus, moon, and sun seat, sits my root Guru who is kind in three ways, the very essence of all the Buddhas. He is in the aspect of a fully-ordained monk, with one face, two hands, and a radiant smile. His right hand is in the mudra of expounding Dharma, and his left hand, in the mudra of meditative equipoise, holds a bowl filled with nectar. He wears three robes of resplendent saffron, and his head is graced with a golden Pandit is hat. At his heart are Buddha Shakyamuni and Vajradhara, who has a blue-coloured body, one face, and two hands. Holding vajra and bell, he embraces Yingchugma and delights in the play of spontaneous bliss and emptiness. He is adorned with many different types of jewelled ornament and wears garments of heavenly silk. Endowed with the major signs and minor indications, and ablaze with a thousand rays of light, my Guru sits in the centre of an aura of five-coloured rainbows. Sitting in the vajra posture, his completely pure aggregates are the five Sugatas, his four elements are the four Mothers, and his sources, veins, and joints are in reality Bodhisattvas. His pores are the twenty-one thousand Foe Destroyers, and his limbs are the wrathful Deities. His light rays are directional guardians such as givers of harm and smell-eaters, and beneath his throne are the worldly beings. Surrounding him in sequence is a vast assembly of lineage Gurus, Yidams, hosts of mandala Deities, Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Heroes, Dakinis, and Dharma Protectors. Their three doors are marked by the three vajras. Hooking light rays radiate from the letter HUM and invite the wisdom beings from their natural abodes to remain inseparable.

Buddhas can manifest their inner realizations as outer forms. Each aspect of the visualization of any deity in any sadhana reflects this. Our job when we perform visualizations of Buddhas is to recall the spiritual symbolism of each aspect of the visualization and recognize the visual form as the deity’s realizations in the aspect of form. In Great Treasury of Merit, we can read about the symbolism of each aspect of this visualization. Our training is to generate a mind of faith as we visualize the deity, recognizing each aspect as their realizations.

The most important part of any visualization of a Buddha is to strongly believe we are in the living presence of the deity. If we think the Buddhas are not in front of us, and this is “just our imagination,” our visualizations will lack power to move our mind. We will feel like we are pretending, and that it is just us in our meditation room. But if we strongly believe we are in the presence of the enlightened beings, our mind will naturally be blessed. If we saw a picture of a famous person, we might think about how great the person is, but we would be truly excited to meet them in person. In truth, both the picture and the person in the flesh are both just mere karmic appearances to mind, but we would experience the two very differently. In exactly the same way, if we think it is just a picture in our mind, we might not generate much feeling, but if we felt we are in the living presence of the deity, our mind will be powerfully moved.

How can we generate conviction that we are in the living presence of the deity? Gen Tharchin explains wherever you imagine a Buddha, a Buddha goes; and wherever a Buddha goes, they perform their function, which is to bestow blessings. Geshe-la explains why this is so. For us, our body and mind are different natures; but for a Buddha, their body and mind are the same nature, like gold and the coin it is in the shape of. Since a Buddha’s mind pervades all phenomena, it is correct to say Buddhas are likewise everywhere. There is nowhere that is not an emanation of a Buddha – they are inside everything. When we imagine a Buddha with faith, we open the aperture of our mind enabling these Buddhas which are everywhere to directly enter into our mind, just like opening the blinds allows the sunlight to enter our room. Thus, when we visualize the deities in the space in front of us, we can develop conviction we are in their presence. We should maintain this awareness throughout the rest of the sadhana and feel like we are making offerings, praises, and requests to them and that they receive our offerings and hear our prayers. It should feel like a personal daily meeting with our Guru – what a great way to start the day!

With this visualization, we imagine we are in the living presence of Lama Losang Tubwang Dorjechang. Lama means we see the deity as our spiritual guide in the aspect of the deity, making the practice of Offering to the Spiritual Guide a Guru yoga practice. Losang means the outer aspect of our spiritual guide is Losang Dragpa, or Je Tsongkhapa. Je Tsongkhapa is the founder of the New Kadampa Tradition and everything we practice is his instructions. By developing a close connection with Je Tsongkhapa, we draw closer to him, enabling us to receive his blessings to realize his teachings. We should strongly believe that Lama Tsongkhapa is our living spiritual guide – the same being who taught in the 14th century and who now appears as our present spiritual guide. Tubwang refers to our spiritual guide’s inner aspect of Buddha Shakyamuni. At Je Tsongkhapa’s heart is Buddha Shakyamuni, indicating that Buddha Shakyamuni and Je Tsongkhapa are also the same being, appearing at different times and different aspects. This also symbolizes how Je Tsongkhapa’s teachings are just a special presentation of Buddha’s 84,000 teachings. The lineage of every instruction can be traced back to Buddha Shakyamuni. Dorjechang means Buddha Vajradhara, who appears at the heart of Buddha Shakyamuni. When Buddha gave tantric teachings, he appeared as Buddha Vajradhara, who is our definitive tantric spiritual guide. Visualizing him at the heart of Buddha Shakyamuni indicates that Buddha Vajradhara, Buddha Shakyamuni, Je Tsongkhapa, and our present spiritual guide are all the same being, the same mental continuum, just appearing at different times according to the dispositions of different disciples. Sometimes we think that Je Tsongkhapa, Buddha Shakyamuni, and Buddha Vajradhara somehow no longer exist after they died, but this visualization helps us realize that they still live. They attained enlightenment to become an immortal being and our eternal spiritual guide. We are not staring into the past; we are interacting with a deathless holy being.

Geshe-la also explains in Great Treasury of Merit that there are three principal deities of Highest Yoga Tantra – Yamantaka, Guhyasamaja, and Heruka, symbolizing respectively the spiritual power, wisdom, and compassion of all the Buddhas according to Highest Yoga Tantra. Lama Tsongkhapa’s outer aspect is one with Yamantaka, his inner aspect is the body mandala of Guhyasamaja symbolized by the five Sugatas, four mothers, bodhisattvas, and wrathful deities. And we ourself are self-generated as Heruka. In this way, with one single concentration of ourself generated as Heruka visualizing Lama Losang Tubwang Dorjechang we are mixing our mind with the essential realizations of spiritual power, wisdom, and compassion of all the Buddhas.

Inviting the wisdom beings

You who are the source of all happiness and goodness,
The root and lineage Gurus of the three times, the Yidams, and Three Precious Jewels,
Together with the assembly of Heroes, Dakinis, Dharmapalas, and Protectors,
Out of your great compassion please come to this place and remain firm.

Even though phenomena are by nature completely free from coming and going,
You appear in accordance with the dispositions of various disciples
And perform enlightened deeds out of wisdom and compassion;
O Holy Refuge and Protector, please come to this place together with your retinue.

OM GURU BUDDHA BODHISATTÖ DHARMAPALA SAPARIWARA EH HAYE HI: DZA HUM BAM HO

The wisdom beings become inseparable from the commitment beings.

With the first verse, we recall that we are in the living presence of the deities as explained above. The second verse helps us recall their emptiness. Our ignorance of self-grasping makes us think that we and the Buddhas are somehow separate from each other, like there is this giant chasm that separates them from us. When we recall the emptiness of ourself and the deities, this chasm is bridged and we feel as if not only we are in the presence of the holy beings, but the duality between ourselves and them has faded away. It feels like we are one wave, they are another wave, but we are all equally part of the same ocean, inseparable from one another. Their enlightened state is an aspect of our own mind.

With the third and fourth verses, we dissolve the wisdom beings into the commitment beings. The commitment beings are so-called because we have a commitment to visualize them, and the wisdom beings are the actual Buddhas who enter into our visualization. By dissolving the wisdom beings into the commitment beings, we imagine our visualization becomes inseparably one with the actual deities and we strengthen our conviction that we are in the living presence of the holy beings all while recalling that they are inseparable from our mind.

Happy Tara Day: How to ignite Tara’s fierce and raging fire in our life

Kadampa Ryan How to Rely Upon Tara, Tara Days

This is the fourth installment of the 12-part series sharing my understanding of the practice Liberation from Sorrow.

Praising Tara by her destroying opponents

Homage to you who by saying TRÄ and PHAT
Completely destroy the obstructions of enemies.
You suppress with your right leg drawn in and your left extended,
And blaze with a fierce and raging fire.

I think there are two ways we can understand this.  First, her wisdom blessings act like a fierce and raging fire that radiate out in all directions like a protection circle, dispelling all obstructions of enemies, keeping them at bay.  Second, because she is a Buddha she has universal compassion even for those who would oppose the Dharma.  To destroy the obstructions of enemies means she has the power to destroy the delusion obstructions and the obstructions to omniscience of her would-be enemies.  Geshe-la once famously said in Toronto that “Love is the real nuclear bomb that destroys all enemies.”  In the same way, Tara completely destroys opponents by destroying the obstructions to enlightenment on their minds.  This shows her skill in loving living beings while directing wrathful energy against their delusions.

Praising Tara by her purifying demons and the two obstructions

Homage to TURE, extremely fearsome one,
Who completely destroy the chief of demons.
With the wrathful expression on your lotus face
You vanquish all foes without exception.

Where do demons come from?  They are mere karmic appearances to mind, ripening from our negative karma.  The way to actually destroy all demons is to purify the negative karma that sees or appears anybody as a demon.  Nobody is a demon from their own side, they only become such when we view them with a deluded, contaminated mind.  This is how she purifies all demons.  It also says she vanquishes all foes without exception.  In Buddhism, there are no outer enemies, only inner enemies.  To vanquish all foes without exception, therefore, refers to her ability to vanquish the inner enemies of the two obstructions – delusions and their imprints.

Praising Tara by the objects she holds in her right and left hands

Homage to you whose fingers perfectly adorn your heart
With the mudra symbolizing the Three Precious Jewels.
Adorned with a wheel of all directions
Whose radiant light outshines all.

Buddhas hold different implements in their hands to symbolize their inner qualities and abilities.  Her hand in the mudra symbolizing the Three Precious Jewels indicates that she is the synthesis of all three jewels, and that she also performs the function of all three jewels.  She blesses our mind like a Buddha, she teaches and protects the Kadam Dharma, and she helps us like loving Sangha.  I’m assuming the wheel here refers to the Wheel of Dharma which outshines all because it enables us to escape from samsara.

Praising Tara by her crown ornament and the sound of her laughter

Homage to you whose very joyful and shining crown ornament
Radiates a garland of light;
Who, with your mirthful laughter of TUTTARE,
Subdue the demons and worldly gods.

Here, we can imagine that infinite light rays radiate out from Tara’s crown ornament, bestowing blessings and peace on all living beings.  We can then rejoice in her enlightened actions, wishing to gain the ability to do the same ourselves.  Mirthful laughter means a merry or amused laugh.  We should never underestimate the power of laughter.  More often than not, we take everything too seriously.  This makes us tight and our grasping stronger.  But when we can laugh at the absurdity of samsara, then it takes the sting out of it.  Samsara makes me laugh!  In particular, it is important to be able to laugh at ourselves and our delusions.  This is one of the most powerful ways of cutting the power of our delusions over us because we are able to view them from a distance and laugh at how ridiculous they are.  Being able to laugh at others in a way that also enables them to stop taking themselves or their samsara too seriously is a whole other level of skill at mirthful laughter.  Normally, people can take it wrong that we are laughing at them or their plight, and they can become quickly offended.  But Tara has the ability to use skillful mirthful laughter to even subdue demons and worldly gods, disarming their ill intent or pretension. 

Praising Tara by her accomplishing divine actions through the ten directional guardians

Homage to you who are able to summon
All the directional guardians and their retinues.
Frowning and shaking, with the letter HUM,
You rescue all from their misfortune.

In the Tsog offerings, we invite the directional guardians, evil spirits, zombies, givers of harm, smell-eaters and other such beings from the charnel grounds, offer them Torma and Tsog offerings, bless their mind, and effectively “enlist them” to help Dharma practitioners and flourish the Dharma instead of oppose them.  From a deeper point of view, we imagine that all of these beings are actually emanations of the principal deity sent into the realms of samsara to help the beings in every terrifying corner of the six realms.  From the letter HUM at the heart of the principal deity, light rays radiate out and invite these beings to come before the deity to then work on the deity’s behalf.  When we recite this verse, we can imagine Tara does the same, inviting all such beings from the charnel grounds who come before her, and then commit to working on her behalf to rescue all beings from their misfortune.  In this way, she also rescues these beings themselves from their misfortune by inspiring them to engage in virtuous actions of protecting practitioners.

Praising Tara by her crown ornament

Homage to you with a crescent moon adorning your crown,
And all your ornaments shining brightly;
With Amitabha in your top-knot
Eternally radiating light.

Here we can imagine different details of Tara’s form, recognizing them all as manifestations of her inner realizations.  Buddhas have the ability to manifest their mind as form.  When we engage in checking meditations of different deities, we focus on different aspects of their form recalling the inner realization it represents.  A moon in Buddhism symbolizes the realization of emptiness.  The ornaments of a Buddha’s body typically symbolize their inner realizations of the six perfections.  Amitabha in her top-knot indicates Amitabha is her spiritual guide.  Amitabha is the Vajra Speech of all the Buddhas, and is the same nature as Geshe Langri Tangpa, the author of Eight Verses of Training the Mind, our root text for Lojong practice.  Recalling this, we can generate faith that through our reliance on Tara we will be able to realize emptiness, complete the six perfections, and train in transforming adverse conditions into the path.

Praising Tara by her wrathful posture

Homage to you who dwell amidst a garland of flames
Like the fire at the end of the aeon.
With your right leg extended and left drawn in,
You destroy the hosts of obstructions of those who delight in the Dharma Wheel.

Buddhas engage in four types of enlightened action – pacifying, increasing, controlling, and wrathful actions.  Wrathful actions are forceful actions that skillfully differentiate between the person and their delusions or faults.  They are able to be ruthless with delusions while being loving with the person.  They are like a wisdom anger against the inner objects to be abandoned along the path.  If we fail to make the distinction between the person and their delusions, our wrathful actions are just ordinary anger and usually wind up harming living beings.  Pacifying and increasing actions are relatively easy to do without delusions, controlling actions can be done if we are free from attachment to the other person doing what we want, and wrathful actions can only be performed with compassionate wisdom differentiating clearly the person from their faults.  They also typically require the other person to have faith in us to receive well our wrathful actions, but this isn’t always necessary.  Buddhas are often surrounded by blazing wisdom fires indicating their ability to burn through negativities and protect others with great power.  When we recite this version, we imagine Tara radiates such powerful energy around her like the fire at the end of the aeon.  Her right leg extended symbolizes her ability to swiftly come to the aid of living beings.  Because she is the completely purified wind element, she can move as fast as mind to any object.  If we think of the moon, our mind is instantly there.  But how does it get there?  By being mounted upon winds.  Tara is the wind all virtue is mounted upon.  Her right leg extended shows her swift ability.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Be respectful to those who have received Bodhisattva vows before us. 

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

This downfall is fairly self-explanatory.  This also advises us show respect for senior Bodhisattva Sangha in order to increase our merit.

What does it mean to be disrespectful?  We can just ask ourselves how we behave when we are with the important people in our life.  If we met the President or the Queen or Geshe-la, how would we behave?  How would we not behave?  It is the same with everybody else we meet.  We don’t know who has or who has not taken Bodhisattva vows, so just to be safe we should be respectful towards everyone.  Being respectful does not mean being uptight, intimidated, and unnatural.  Part of being respectful is being relaxed around others.  But certainly being respectful includes listening attentively to what they say, not criticizing others, not undermining them, not making them feel bad, marginalizing them, excluding them or ignoring them.  It means not being frustrated with them, etc. 

When we are with somebody who we know has already taken bodhisattva vows, we need to be particularly respectful.  This is very important.  The reality is in this world, most communities have dysfunctional dynamics between the members of that community.  This is not surprising because if we have deluded minds and behavior, we will bring them into the communities we belong to.  But a Sangha community needs to be different.  We may still act in deluded ways towards each other, but we will also accept each other, forgive each other, and remain loyal to each other.  We may create silly dramas, but afterwards we will have a good laugh with each other about how stupid we were acting.  If we can’t learn how to get along with our Sangha friends, who are all like us trying to cherish others, what chance do we have of getting along with other non-Sangha people in this world?  With our Sangha we learn how to have healthy relationships, and then we use those relationships as models of how we should be with everyone else. 

This does not mean that in a Dharma community everyone needs to pretend to get along and avoid rocking the boat.  That won’t work since it will just lead to repression and superficial relationships.  Conflicts will arise, problems will arise.  This is normal.  What distinguishes a spiritual community from a non-spiritual one is how those conflicts and problems are resolved.  Geshe-la explained in Kadampa communities we need to have open and frank conversations with others while accepting defeat and offering the victory.  How do we do this?  If there is somebody who we have a problem with, we can approach them saying, “I know this is my problem since it is my delusions, etc., but when you do X, it generates Y delusion in me.  This is something I need to work on, I know.  It would help me to do so if I understood your perspective on your actions.  Perhaps there is something I am not understanding correctly, and if I did, I would no longer have a problem with this.”  If we approach people in this way, we are not running away pretending that everything is OK when it is not, but at the same time we are not accusing the other person but instead taking full responsibility for our own feelings and delusions in the matter.  If we approach people in this way, either the other person will clarify their perspective on the matter and that will pacify our mind or the other person will realize their errors and change.  Either way, everybody is better off.  If they get angry and defensive, you can say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it to come across as an attack.  Again, as I said, this is my problem.”  But most people are reasonable, and if you approach them in a reasonable, non-threatening way, they will likewise respond favorably to your efforts.

Happy NKT Day: Why we are encouraged to follow one tradition purely without mixing

Kadampa Ryan 7. Kadampa meaning of special days

The first Saturday of every April is New Kadampa Tradition (NKT) day.  Normally, on this day we generate a mind cherishing our tradition.  I’m sure there are many other people who will write about all of the different reasons why they cherish this tradition, and I rejoice in all of that.  But here, I am going to intentionally stir the hornet’s nest a bit by talking about a particular type of cherishing of the NKT, namely generating the mind that wishes to follow one tradition purely without mixing. 

One of the core principles of the NKT is while respecting all other traditions, to follow one tradition purely without mixing.  This is an extremely vast subject.  Venerable Geshe-la (VGL) explains in Ocean of Nectar that we need to be careful when introducing the subject of emptiness to those who are not ready because doing so can lead to great confusion.  I would say even more so, we need to be careful when introducting the subject of following one tradition purely without mixing, as this is a special spiritual instruction that can easily give rise to much confusion and doubt, including thinking that such an approach is closed-minded, anti-intellectual, and sectarian.  To many, this instruction can seem very strange, even cultish.  Many people might even wind up rejecting the NKT precisely because this is something taught within the NKT. 

This post (and the linked, more extensive document) attempts to explain the rationale behind this instruction so that people can be happy with putting it into practice.

What is the advice?

This is probably best summarized in Understanding the Mind, where Geshe-la says:

“We must be careful not to misunderstand the effort of non-satisfaction. Practising this effort does not mean that we should become dissatisfied with our tradition or with our main practice, and try to follow many different traditions or mix together many different practices. Every Teacher and every tradition has a slightly different approach and employs different methods. The practices taught by one Teacher will differ from those taught by another, and if we try to combine them we shall become confused, develop doubts, and lose direction. If we try to create a synthesis of different traditions we shall destroy the special power of each and be left only with a mishmash of our own making that will be a source of confusion and doubt. Having chosen our tradition and our daily practices we should rely upon them single-pointedly, never allowing dissatisfaction to arise. At the same time as cherishing our own tradition we should respect all other traditions and the right of each individual to follow the tradition of their choosing. This approach leads to harmony and tolerance. It is mixing different religious traditions that causes sectarianism. This is why it is said that studying non-religious subjects is less of an obstacle to our spiritual progress than studying religions of different traditions.”

Geshe-la also elaborated during the Dorje Shugden empowerment in 1995 when he said:

“Sincere practitioners of the Kadampa Buddhism of Je Tsongkhapa’s doctrine should understake as their heart commitment to cherish the Kadam Dharma, the doctrine of Je Tsongkhapa, and to practice and teach this to others without mixing it with other traditions.  We must take some responsibility to enable pure Buddhadharma to flourish throughout the world.  If we make the commitment to accomplish this aim, then this is called our heart commitment.  Keeping this heart commitment is the basic foundation for receiving Dorje Shugdan’s protection, blessings and special care continually.  Because Dorje Shugden is an enlightened being, he has compassion for all beings and is ready to to give his protection, blessings, and special care, but from our side we also need some necessary conditions.  These are to cherish Kadam Dharma, to practice Kadam Dharma purely without mixing it with other traditions, to teach Kadam Dharma without mixing it with other traditions and to take some responsibility to help pure Dharma flourish throughout the world.  Doing this as our commitment is the best method for receiving Dorje Shugden’s protection, blessings and special care continually.”

Following one tradition purely is spiritual advice, not a rule

Throughout all of VGL’s books, he gives countless pieces of advice about how to transform our mind into the enlightened state.  This instruction on following one tradition purely without mixing is likewise spiritual advice given to us by our Spiritual Guide.  Like all instructions, we are free to follow it or not.  It is our choice.  VGL explains in Transform Your Life that if we do not at present understand a given instruction, or do not see its utility, we should avoid various extremes.  To put the instruction into practice when we do not understand it or when we disagree with it would be one extreme (leading to a wide variety of problems).  To reject the instruction would be another extreme.  The middle way he teaches is to not reject it outright, but to put it aside for later when it does seem to be important or useful for our spiritual practice.  Once we see the instruction as something that is important, if we still have doubts we should follow his advice in Clear Light of Bliss when he quotes Buddha Shakyamuni as saying ‘do not believe me because I am called Buddha, instead verify for yourself.’  We should examine all the arguments with an open mind, contemplating deeply their meaning without any preconceptions or attachments to our view, and then only decide to put this instruction into practice when we ‘want to’ and we ‘see its value’ for our spiritual development.  This approach should likewise be used when it comes to the spiritual advice to follow one tradition purely without mixing. 

If we relate to this instruction like a rule imposed upon us from the outside, but we do not ‘want’ to follow it, then the result will be we generate resentment towards the rule and towards those who make it.  This then undermines our faith, we can generate all sorts of negative minds, and eventually this can destroy our spiritual practice. 

So, in short, when should this instruction be practiced ?  When we want to put it into practice.  Who does it apply to ?  Only those who wish to apply it to themselves.  All moral discipline is self-imposed.  We apply it to ourseleves because we see the benefit of doing so and the harm of not doing so.  We take refuge vows because we wish to center ourselves within Buddha’s teachings.  We take Bodhisattva vows because we wish to center ourselves within the Mahayana.  We take Tantric vows, because we wish to center ourselves within the part of the Mahayana that is the Vajrayana.  Specifically, our Tantric vows entail a commitment as to whom is our Spiritual Guide, our teacher.  We do all of these things from our own side because we want to and see the value of doing so.  We place limits on the sources of our spiritual understanding and practice (Buddha’s Hinayana teachings for those who have taken refuge and Pratimoksha vows ; Mahayana teachings for those who have taken Bodhisattva vows ; our Spiritual Guide’s teachings for those who have taken Tantric vows). 

VGL has added a fourth layer of vows for those who wish to be NKT teachers and officers, namely the internal rules of the NKT, which he has correctly labeled as A Moral Discipline Guide.  VGL said that for us, these vows are more important than even our Tantric vows.  It is our choice whether we wish to assume these guidelines as part of our moral discipline or not.  Nobody can force us to do so, nobody is requiring us to do so.  We do so because we wish to.  If we wish to do so, then we are authorized by VGL to teach NKT Dharma and be an officer in an NKT center.  If we do not wish to do so, then we are not authorized by VGL to do these things.  We may still consider him our Spiritual Guide, appreciate his good qualities, put his teachings into practice, etc., but we do not have these special authorizations to teach or be an officer.  The internal rules have many layers of meaning.  It is not up to anybody outside of us to say whether we have the intention of keeping the moral discipline of the internal rules.  Only we can say.  So if internally we wish to take on the internal rules as part of our moral discipline, unless there is a gross violation of these rules that requires action, it is up to us to use our own wisdom to decide how to put these instructions into practice.

What is mixing traditions? 

In order to understand this instruction, we must understand what it means (and what it does not mean) to mix traditions.  To understand this, we must first understand what it means to mix in general.  To mix means to combine two or more things in some way. 

What does it mean to mix our mind with teachings in general ?  To mix our mind with teachings means to familiarize our mind with the meaning of a teaching.  It is to gain an intellectual understanding of the meaning of a teaching and to believe (or appreciate) that meaning to be true for your mind and practice.  In Understanding the Mind, VGL states :  “Basically Dharma practice is quite simple because all we need to do is to receive correct Dharma teachings by listening to qualified Teachers or by reading authentic books, and then mix our mind with these teachings by meditating on them.”  In Joyful Path, VGL explains that we mix our mind with teachings (meditate upon them) in three different ways :  through listening to (or reading) Dharma instructions, through contemplating their meaning (analytical meditation) and through placement meditation on them. 

To mix spiritual traditions, therefore, means to do this process of mixing our mind with teachings in general with the teachings from more than one spiritual tradition.  If one is an NKT practitioner, to mix traditions would mean to mix one’s mind with teachings from the NKT and from a tradition other than the NKT.  The internal rules of the NKT state that the NKT will always be an entirely independent spiritual organization.  What distinguishes the NKT from other traditions is its three study programmes.  In the definition of the three study programmes, all three programmes state clearly that their content is derived exclusively from the teachings and commentaries of VGL.  Therefore, any teaching that does not come from VGL (either directly from him or indirectly through an authorized NKT teacher) would be considered as belonging to another tradition.  A clear test as to whether something is part of the NKT or not is whether it has been published by Tharpa Publications.  Any book or source published by something other than Tharpa Publications is necessarily from another tradition.   Any teaching received by a spiritual teacher other than one who is an authorized NKT teacher would necessarily be a teaching from another tradition. 

Mixing is not a black or white thing, but actually has many many levels of subtlety.  Just as there are many different levels of ignorance, so too there are many different levels of mixing.  It is impossible for us to be completely free from any mixing until we are a Buddha, so the question is not whether something ‘is’ mixing or not, the question is whether somebody has within their mind the intention and the desire to go in the direction of completely abandoning every last trace of mixing within their spiritual understanding and practice.  If one has this intention, then over time we gradually gain a deeper and deeper understanding of what it means to mix, and in this way we can gradually improve the purity with which we practice.  Wanting to do this is part of cherishing the NKT.

In short, the nature of the inputs into our spiritual understanding determines the nature of the outputs of that spiritual understanding (unless we have perfect discriminating wisdom, which none of us have, or at least I do not).  If we have only NKT inputs, then it guarrantees we will have only NKT outputs (internal realizations, teachings, etc.).  If we have NKT and non-NKT inputs, then our spiritual understanding will be a mix of multiple sources, which will result in a mixed output (or at least a great danger of this).  Therefore, unless we can claim we have a perfect discriminating wisdom and experience of NKT teachings, even if we do not want to mix, we will not be able to not mix on some subtle level if we read other tradition’s teachings.  This is especially true for those spiritual teachings that are quite similar to NKT teachings.  There seems less risk of mixing by reading Christian books than there is in reading books on Tibetan Buddhism, especially those books written by diciples of Trijang Rinpoche, even if they are also Dorje Shugden practitioners.

If we understand that the way in which we attain enlightenment is by mixing our mind inseparably with that of our Spiritual Guide, it is clear that if we mix our mind with the teachings of a different Spiritual Guide we will be mixing.  Our mind will be a ‘mishmash’ (as VGL calls it) of our Spiritual Guide’s teachings, of the other Spiritual Guide’s teachings and of our own thinking of how to combine these two.  It is possible for us to take VGL as our Spiritual Guide and continue to mix his teachings with those of similar (or dissimilar) traditions, especially when we are at the beginning of our practice and our discriminating wisdom and experience are undeveloped.  However, he still advises us against doing this.  But there are many pieces of advice he has given us that we are not yet ready to put into practice and he encourages us to put those aside for later.  The instruction on following one tradition purely without mixing is no exception.  However, there definitely comes a time in our practice where we want to start leaving these other sources behind and instead mix our mind completely and exclusively with the teachings of our Spiritual Guide.  By doing so, we can mix our mind more thoroughly with his mind, draw closer to him and his blessings, and eventually attain enlightenment.  It is clear that we cannot fully mix our mind with his if we are still partially mixing our mind with teachings from other traditions. 

I understand this is challenging for some

I understand that this instruction is challenging for many people because it seems contrary to our normal way of thinking about things.  My first teacher told me, “The things we find the most difficult at first later wind up being the teachings that bring about the greatest transformations in our mind.”  So I encourage everyone to investigate for themselves with an open mind.  In the early 2000s, I wrote the attached document in answer to questions some of my students were asking about this topic.  I try address every angle of the question.  If you still have some doubts or hesitations about this topic, I encourage you to look through the arguments presented, in particular work through the answers to the objections that arise.  If you still have questions about it, I’m happy to try provide my thoughts. 

Here is the table of contents of what is contained in the larger document.

This document is organized as follows :

  1. References within VGL’s teachings on this advice
    1. On following one tradition purely without mixing
      • From Understanding the Mind
      • From Great Treasury of Merit
      • From Meaningful to Behold
      • From the Commentary to the Dorje Shugden empowerment, Spring Festival 1995
      • From the NKT internal rules
  2. On sectarianism
    • From Joyful Path
    • From Clear Light of Bliss
  1. The mind with which we examine this question
  2. How to understand this instruction
    • Following one tradition purely is spiritual advice, not a rule
    • What is mixing traditions ?
    • What are the causes of mixing ?  Why do people mix ?
  3. Rationale for the spiritual advice to follow one tradition purely without mixing
    1. Considering valid reasons
      • Advantages of not mixing
      • Disadvantages of mixing
      • Disadvantages of even slight mixing.
    2. Contemplating useful analogies
      • Analogy of the burning room
      • Analogy of climbing a mountain
      • Analogy of a Formula 1 racing car
      • Analogy of commitment to a partner
      • Analogy of specialization
  4. Refutation of objections to not mixing
  • Objection 1.  We can gain a better understanding of a subject when explored from multiple perspectives
  • Objection 2:  We can gain a higher and deeper understanding of universal truth through synthesizing multiple systems of thought.
  • Objection 3 :  All religions say the same thing, just with different metaphors and means.  So what is the problem with me studying and reading other traditions.  Does that not also take me in the direction of enlightenment ?
  • Objection 4:  OK, I agree we should not mix traditions.  I am 100% committed to VGL, I know what we are all about and I don’t want to mix.  So what is the problem with me reading other sources ?
  • Objection 5:  But I do not have freedom because I cannot be an NKT teacher or officer of an NKT center if I still want to go to other things.  So I am not free to choose.
  • Objection 6:  But it can be argued that just because one is in a relationship with somebody else does not mean that they cease to be friends with other people and other women.  In the same way, it is not mixing or violating my commitment to my spiritual path by reading other books, etc., as long as I am clear as to who is my Spiritual Guide.
  • Objection 7: But we are Buddhist, so everything depends upon the mind.  Reading other sources is not from its own side mixing, it depends upon the mind with which we do it. 
  • Objection 8:  Come on !  Certainly you are exaggerating to say it is a fault to even read or be exposed to teachings from other traditions.  Don’t be so paranoid !
  • Objection 9:  It still seems very closed-minded to be so categorical in shunning anything that is non-NKT.
  • Objection 10:  OK, even if I agree with all of the above, certainly it is more skilful to say nothing, since people will misunderstand and leave the Dharma as a result of this misunderstanding.
  • Objection 11:  OK, I agree, something needs to be said.  But why do you have to do it in such a foreceful way. 
  • Objection 12:  OK, point taken.  But what makes an action skilful is whether the action does not undermine the faith of the other person when you engage in it.
  • Objection 13:  OK, fine !  Just tell me what I can and cannot do.
  • Objection 14:  If that is the case, then why do different teachers have different policies and standards on this one ?
  • Objection 15:  But how does your standard compare to that of the NKT as a whole ?  Are you more strict ?
  • Objection 16:  Wait a minute !  I can understand why there would be an issue with Tibetan Buddhism in general, but certainly it is not a problem with Mt. Pellerin.  After all, their teacher was also a student of Trijang Rinpoche, he is friends with VGL, and they are Dorje Shugden practitioners.  Are they not basically a Tibetan version of us, and we are a Western version of them ?  So their teachings can help improve our understanding of VGL’s teachings.  We are all talking about the same thing, so there is no mixing going on.  So it should be OK.  It seems we should at least make an exception with them.
  • Question 17:  OK, I understand all of this and it makes sense.  How practically then are we to implement all of this at the center given the sensitivities involved ?
  • Conclusion

Dedication

I dedicate any merit I may have accumulated from writing this that all beings may find the spiritual tradition that speaks to their heart, and that all beings may joyfully follow one tradition purely without mixing, regardless of what tradiction speaks to them.  I pray that those reading this do so with an open mind and understand that advice such as this is offered by Geshe-la out of his infinite compassion for us understanding what is spiritually the most effective way of progressing along the path.

Vows, commitments, and modern life:  Don’t indulge in worldly pleasures out of attachment. 

Kadampa Ryan Vows, commitments and daily life

Whenever we enjoy worldly pleasures, we should do so with a bodhichitta motivation.  If we fail to do this and indulge in them out of attachment or discontent we incur a secondary downfall.  This vow also advises us to transform our daily activities into the Bodhisattva’s way of life by continually maintaining a bodhichitta motivation.

What are worldly pleasures?  From an external point of view, they are quite simply all the things we normally do to enjoy ourselves, such as go out to restaurants, see movies, hang out with friends, go on vacation to exotic and beautiful places, etc.  It also includes things like alcohol, sex, etc.  With the possible exception of drinking alcohol, which if we have taken Pratimoksha vows is considered a downfall, none of these so-called worldly pleasures in and of themselves are a problem.  The essential function of Kadampa Buddhism is to attain the union of the Kadam Dharma and modern life.  All these things are entirely normal parts of modern life.  So we do not need to abandon them, nor do we need to stop enjoying them.  What needs to change – the only thing that needs to change – is the mind with which we enjoy them.  In simple terms, we need to try enjoy these things for spiritual reasons, not attachment thinking these things, in and of themselves, are causes of our happiness.  In French we say, “prendre plaisir sans saisir,” which basically means take pleasure without grasping at it.

So what are some spiritual ways to enjoy modern enjoyments?  Venerable Tharchin explains that ultimately the key question for any enjoyment is whether or not we are imputing “mine” on it.  If we are, we are burning up our merit.  If we are imputing “others” onto it, then we will accumulate merit.  The easiest way of doing so is to imagine that we have a Buddha at our heart and as we partake of the enjoyment we are actually offering it to the Buddha at our heart.  It simply passes through us on route to the Buddha.  If we enjoy things in this way, instead of burning up our merit from our enjoyments we will accumulate even more merit.  Likewise, whenever we enjoy things we can do so with others and we can offer the activity to them.  For example, when I go out to a restaurant with my wife, I can think I am offering her a meal.  Or I am taking my kids to a movie, or taking my family on a vacation.  I am doing these things for them, and I am just going along to help them have a good time. 

We can likewise view many of our enjoyable activities as opportunities to learn something.  When we go for a walk in the park, we see all sorts of different things – couples fighting, parents struggling with their kids, homeless people, drunk people, whatever.  Each one of these things is teaching us some aspect of the Dharma.  What we see on TV can teach us all sorts of Dharma lessons.  Our ability to extract Dharma lessons from our daily appearances primarily depends on two things.  First, it depends on us actually looking for Dharma lessons in everything we encounter.  If we are looking for spiritual meaning, it is not hard to find it.  If we are not even looking, it is almost impossible to find any.  Second, it depends upon us receiving blessings.  Ultimately, any Dharma understanding we gain depends upon us receiving blessings from the holy beings.  They bless our mind, activating certain karmic seeds on our mind which ripen in the form of some new spiritual understanding.  To receive blessings through everything we merely need to view everything as in fact emanated by our Spiritual Guide.  If we view everything as emanated, we will receive blessings through everything, and everything will teach us the Dharma.  In this way, we can go anywhere, do anything and none of it will be indulging in worldly enjoyments out of attachment, rather it will be us enjoying our modern life in a Kadampa way – a true uniting of the Kadam Dharma and modern life.

The Fires of the Deepest Hell for the Sake of Each Being:

Kadampa Ryan 4. Practicing in Daily Life, 5. Reliance upon Dorje Shugden , , , ,

Maybe when we first start practicing Dharma we are selfish in the sense of not caring about others, neglecting them, etc. A few years of practice and that is easy enough to leave behind. Where it gets complicated is when we absolutely want to cherish others, but sometimes the best way to cherish them is to stop enabling self-destructive behavior. Sometimes not helping them helps them more because it forces them to step up and assume responsibility for themselves and their own future.

I have spent decades misinterpreting cherishing others to mean becoming everybody’s savior, solving all their problems for them, but to a large extent all I did was create dependency and deprive them of the opportunity to learn how to stand on their own two feet.

I think for me the key test is “are they capable of doing this thing themselves?” If the answer is no, and it needs to be done, then OK, I will step in and do it for them. But if the answer is yes, they can (even if they don’t believe they can), then I will make myself available to coach them how to do it themselves, but the burden has to fall on them to do it. And if they don’t, then the consequences of them not doing it are also theirs to bear.

When I do that, they will howl in protest and use every single emotional blackmail tool in their arsenal to get me to do it for them – guilt tripping me, getting mad at me, threatening self-harm or self-destruction in some way, provoking some sort of crisis that forces me to step in, etc., etc., etc. And why wouldn’t they? Such a strategy has worked for them countless times in the past. That’s how they have learned to cope with life’s difficulties – self-destruct in some way or get mad at me to do things for them. I have trained them to do exactly that. Breaking these patterns is really hard.

When we stop participating in these behavioral cycles, they hate you for it, they cut off communication, they emotionally implode (or explode), they trigger crises, etc. If we give in to these forms of emotional blackmail, it never stops and the cycle starts again. Sometimes natural life consequences are the best teacher.

But again, for me at least, the test is “can they realistically do it on their own?” If they can’t, and it is conventionally our responsibility in society to help them, then we need to care for them because it is normal to do so, even if they are being emotionally abusive towards us along the way. We are not helping them to avoid the emotional abuse, we are helping them because they need help and we can do so.

But even this has an exception: “Are we capable of continuing to help without it crushing us in the process?” Here we have to be really honest with ourselves about what our actual capacity is. If our helping is destroying us, destroying our capacity, preventing us from practicing Dharma, leading to burnout, etc., then we have to say, “I would want to help, but unfortunately I can’t.” Sometimes our understanding of cherishing others not only leads to savior complexes as above, but also martyr complexes where we sacrifice ourself on the altar of helping others. Of course we sacrifice our self-cherishing – we have gathered all blame into one and are willing to torch it – but we don’t sacrifice OURSELVES. We are not our self-cherishing. We can’t make destroying our self-cherishing to mean destroying ourself. There are many, many people in this world that I would want to help, but I lack the capacity to do so. I need to use the fact that I would want to help but currently lack the capacity to do so to fuel my bodhichitta – this is why I need to become a Buddha so then I can help everyone.

The other mistake I make is exaggerating the importance of a few people on the altar of others who I could also be helping. If I spend all my time and mental energy on just a few people (who I’m not really helping anyways, I’m just enabling them becoming dependent on me to solve their problems for them) and I neglect all these other people who I could be helping who do want my help and I can make a difference in their lives, then I am not cherishing ALL living beings. We need to cherish everyone, not sacrifice many for the sake of few.

This gets hard when it is our conventional responsibility to help certain people (such as our kids, aging parents, employees, close friends, etc.). So for me, if I have a conventional responsibility towards somebody, then I accept this is my responsibility and I meet it because that is the “exactly as normal” thing to do in modern life. VGL has said countless times we should not be abandoning our families, etc., to “practice Dharma,” but instead we should start with those we are karmically close to and expand outwards. But there does come a point where we have met our karmic responsibilities and conventionally they should be taking care of themselves. Then, if there are others who I could be helping more, then I should be willing to cherish them too, even if doing so means I might be helping those I have been helping a lot a little less.

Then the final hurdle is learning to accept sometimes those we love will suffer and there is nothing we can do about it in the short-term. We need to completely let go of our attachment to them being OK and not suffering. We of course care for them and wish that they don’t suffer, but we can’t be personally ATTACHED to them not suffering, where our mental peace and well-being depends upon them not suffering. Just as we have to accept the truth of suffering for ourself, so too we need to accept the truth of suffering of others. They are in samsara so their lives are also the nature of suffering. Accepting this fact then needs to channel into our bodhichitta – therefore the only solution is I need to become a Buddha so I can eventually be there for them in life after life, gradually leading them out. But I can’t liberate them like a magic wand. They have to do the work. I can’t do it for them. So I need supreme patience with them (“please be patient with us”) and acceptance that they are likely going to suffer for a very long time until they do what needs to be done to not. I can’t do it for them.

It’s so hard. I often try remember the line from Offering to the Spiritual Guide, “even if I must remain in the fires of the deepest hell for many aeons for the sake of each being.” The bodhisattva’s path is not for the faint of heart. In the end, I put my faith in Dorje Shugden. I bring VGL into my heart requesting his wisdom blessings to know what to do. And then I try be as much like Heruka as I can be. I make mistakes, I try correct for them; I get knocked down, I get back up again. With persistence, we will get there in the end. We will eventually attain enlightenment and guide them to the same state.