My ability to help anyone first and foremost depends on my not needing them to be any different. First I need to get rid of my own delusions about how they are before I will be able to help them change. This need for them to be different will obstruct the wisdom I need to help them from coming through. When I do try help them it will not be well received because theyw ill sense my attachment to changing them and they will reject/rebel against my advice.
It is my own inner realizations of Dharma that functions like a force of gravity drawing people in so that I can help them and invite them into my pure land. I need to create a sun of realizations within my mind to draw people into my orbit. Even more so, I need to create a black hole of Dharma realizations within my mind, at the center of which is a wormhole to the pure land (Heruka’s heart).
I should not blind copy people on very private correspondance. This causes them to not trust me and to not confide in me. If they cannot confide in me, then I cannot help them. People need to be able to trust in me, and when I do this it weakens that trust because they assume I will do it to them as well. My intention in doing so is I want the other person to skillfully help or to learn how to deal with different situations so they become more helpful to others. I guess it is a balance, but one that I should err on the side of not doing.