My karma has arranged itself where I have the next six weeks to do “solitary retreat,” or at least my version of it given my karma today. My family left for America for the next six weeks. I will have to work during this time, and do all of my normal activities, but mentally for me it is clear that this is my Summer retreat. Everything that happens to me is all part of my retreat.
I worry that by writing this that my wife may misunderstand thinking that I am happy that they are gone because now I can do what I want. It is not that at all. Rather, I view her taking the kids back to America as her greatest act of kindness each year. Not because she leaves me behind, but rather because she takes my kids and enables them to have all of the amazing experiences they have each Summer. I am happy for them to have those experiences and grateful towards my wife for making it possible for them. This time I have may be my retreat time, but it is thanks to my wife that I have this opportunity, therefore it is clear that I owe this time to her. I must use my time in such a way that I become a better father, a better husband and a better person. This is all she has ever wanted for me. That is how I know she loves me. Thank you, I love you.