About 18 months ago, I had a very vivid dream about the end. It had several parts to it, and I will try remember them and get them down.
At one point in the dream we were in what I understood to be the NKT office. It was the end of the world, and I understood it to be the end of VGL’s Dharma in this world. Most everybody was gone or had already gone off to meditate. Completely exhausted, I was leaving myself to go off to meditate at the end, and I passed by a desk and a man who I understood to be Jim Belither was approaching a computer station. He was beyond exhausted, and could barely keep himself up. But despite his exhaustion, he forced himself to keep working. I then turned the corner a bit and came to understood what he and a few others were doing. They were busy indexing and storing all of VGL’s teachings so that everything could be preserved given the fact that it was the end.
Then, I was at what I understood to be my home. I knew they were coming and it was the end. We were under attack by some type of small, but very powerful mystical creatures. Everything was gone except I knew the Buddha statues were still in the gompa. I told Claudine, let’s go there for the end. Then, something happened which caused me to go out into a small field next to the house. When I went to go get whatever it was, the small creatures arrived and started flitting in and out of existence. One finally caught me and started inflicing terrible torturous pain on me. The whole time, I tried to keep my mind paying attention to and focused on the Dhamarkaya instead of my ordinary body. I kept repeating to myself as I was being tortured, ‘my true home is the Dharmakaya.’ Despite the pain, I kept trying to do this knowing if I could I would be all right since I was not my ordinary body and feeling it to be practice for when the real thing comes.
Somehow it ended, and I made it. I then found myself chatting with one of the creatures who was suddenly kind and unthreatening, like an Ewok or a kind Lilo. I was surprised and I asked him, ‘so not everyone dies’, and he said ‘oh, no, no.’
Then, it fast forward to somewhat later, and we were on the cusp of the real end coming. I was in a room with Kiara and one of my other kids, I believe McKenzie, and they didn’t really know what was coming. There were some others who we saw outside the window, who also knew it was the end and they were taking pictures together. Then, it suddenly grew much darker and a terrible cold wind descended over everything indicating that the end was here. I again wanted to go off to meditate at the end, but then I thought about how Kiara, who I was holding, would be screaming in terror at the end and that I needed to be with her at that time. I knew it would be more difficult to do, but that while I was supporting her I could once again try stay centered in the Dharmakaya and I should be OK.
Then, I woke up. In thinking about this dream I realized that I need to be like Jim Belither, who, despite all exhaustion, was so dedicated to working for and the welfare of living beings that he kept pushing on to the very end. He did not go off to meditate, but pushed on in service working for the welfare of others. He was doing this to preserve and store the Dharma for the future, and I needed to do the same by not abandoning my family but staying with them even until the very end and everybody else has already left.